Chapter 38

"Worm, I'm so glad you're safe!!"

"The journey was tough, but I managed. Justin, come here. This is Moritz."

"I'm glad you made it. How is the battle going?"

"Due to the surprise attack and the first strike, we have lost the initiative and the situation is not good. The Kingdom of Creist's army has reached the outer line of the Zerebes Mountains, and all communication lines except for the waterways have been cut off."

The fragments of conversation that flowed through the wall clearly announced that the war between the countries had started again. Even though she was one of the parties involved, Ayane couldn't grasp the reality of it. It felt like irrelevant information coming from a radio.

"Was it a close call?"

"Yes, that's right. Except for the retreat from Cape Gara by Lord Fliug's squadron, the six entrances to Zerebes are completely sealed."

"If we had been a little later, we would have been caught in the blockade."

Ayane had been in a state of extreme tension, slipping through the surveillance net like walking on thin ice and crossing enemy territory. She could barely keep up, let alone think about what was ahead. But once she stepped onto the land of Selta and literally let out a sigh, everything changed. For the current Ayane, free time was like a deadly poison. She fell into a dead-end of thought, trapped in memories like a bottomless swamp, regretting over and over again things that couldn't be changed, small choices, and casual conversations in the past.

Even happy memories seemed distorted. How much better it would have been if this were just a dream. The naked malice directed at her best friend in the mining town, the brutal battle at Eskisch Castle, were undeniable realities, and the pain that gnawed at her heart was real.

"It's really happening, isn't it?"

Returning to Selta, her worst fears had turned into certainty. A full-scale war was now inevitable. No, it had already begun everywhere. What should she do? Heal people again? And in the next war too? There was no end in sight. Her gaze naturally remained fixed, unable to look forward.

A shadow fell over Ayane, who was clenching her jaw. Looking up, she saw Maya, who had been with her every day. Maya, who had crouched down and hugged her knees, met the eyes of the seated healer.

"Are you regretting what happened to Makoto, or that the war has started?"

"...Both."

The two tragedies, intertwined like threads, shook Ayane's heart and beliefs, deeply entangled.

"Living and eating with Makoto, and the violent acts of my homeland, were hard to accept... To be honest, I still haven't fully come to terms with them."

For Ayane, the Kingdom of Creist was the place where she had been protected after wandering into a different world, a place she couldn't forget. If she were a stranger in a world where she didn't know left from right, everyone would feel the same way. Then she realized that for Maya, a citizen of the Kingdom of Creist, the attachment to her homeland and its values would be even stronger.

"Um... Maya, that..."

She had foolishly been preoccupied with her own problems. Was she going to repeat the same mistakes as with Makoto? Stumbling for words, Ayane was met with a gentle smile from Maya. Changing her tone, Maya continued speaking.

"It might sound cheap, but I think of you like a sister."

"...Eh, ah?"

Caught off guard by the sudden confession, Ayane remained frozen. Maya, returning to her usual tone, continued.

"To make a long story short, I'm a war orphan with no family. I grew up in an orphanage run by the church and became an assistant healer for the Kingdom of Creist's army because that's how I survived."

Confused, Ayane still tried to catch every word.

"I didn't have any noble intentions like wanting to help people or be useful. I lived a colorless, tasteless life, doing as I was told. When I was ordered to assist Ayane— but as I spent time with you in Creist and Myard, I thought, 'If I had a family, if I had a sister, it would be like this, right?' Hehe, I've never had a sister... To me, Ayane is someone I want to live with. I don't know what's right. I just have to do my best, struggle, and keep living. So let's keep going."

The eyes that looked straight at her were warm. The trembling uncertainty and loneliness began to fade.

"...Okay."

The short response spoke volumes. Maya, smiling, looked past the open door and said,

"Even the person who was peeking there, right?"

An unexpected blow. The seasoned imperial knight, who usually seemed so reliable, hurriedly tried to move away from the half-open door. His flustered movements, so unlike his usual composed self, made Ayane's lips curve into a smile.

"Hehe, that's right."

The heavy feeling and the fear and anxiety about the future still lingered. But she had made up her mind to feel her way through the darkness.

"Worm, sir."

"...What is it?"

The imperial knight was trying to appear calm, but his voice was slightly higher than usual, a habit when he was trying to cover something up. Ayane, having noticed this over their time together, looked into his eyes and declared,

"There are a lot of hard things. But I don't want to give up. I'll do my best to live in this world. I'll keep trying, too!!"

"That's right... I'll do my best to survive too."

Awkwardly, but still, Worm smiled. Ayane felt a weight lift from her shoulders.

"We need to get to the front-line field hospital and heal the wounded as soon as possible."

Many of the soldiers and civilians who had escaped from the provisional border area were injured. Some were still hurt at the retreat point at Cape Gara. People would die before they could be transported to the military port city of Anxio's hospital. Ayane was determined to take up her post at the front-line field hospital as requested.

"Lady Ayane, Lady Maya, are we being left out?"

"That's really unfair."

"You guys... let go. Stop it, don't crowd the narrow door!"

The ones grumbling like ghosts were Justin and the other guards and liaison officers, including Moritz. They were struggling to push the imperial knight out of Ayane's line of sight.

"Hehe... really, I don't want anyone to die, do I?"

Ayane mixed her true feelings with her laughter, hoping they wouldn't be noticed. It would be easy to be crushed and give up in the face of an unwanted reality. Sometimes she might bend and break. But as long as she was alive, she had to keep fighting. With this resolve in her heart, Ayane started moving forward again, wishing from the bottom of her heart for the lives of those around her.