Chapter 4

Something uncomfortable flickered across Evan’s lively and gentle face for just a moment. But as if it never happened, a serene expression was on Evan’s face again.

I feel like I’ve heard that many times somewhere before. As soon as I wrapped my head around that familiar sentence, Evan’s hand reached out to me. Grabbing my chin, he forcibly raised my head.

“What’re you thinking?”

“Huh?”

“Just curious. I can see what you do, but I can’t figure out what’s going on in your head.”

Evan calmly whispered. You’re so close to me that it’s making me uncomfortable. Surprised, I took a step back from him.

“Y-You’re a little too close.”

Yet, Evan never stopped clinging to me. My body staggered, sitting so close to the edge of the chair.

“That’s why you gotta let me know, Hail.”

“…Let you know. About what?”

My hand laying defenseless on the desk was caught. His hand was much smaller and smoother than mine. When I blankly opened my mouth at our hands slowly entwining with each other’s, Evan grinned.

“Can we hold hands?”

“Huh? Y-Yeah.”

I nodded in a daze. Come to think of it, Evan’s always touched me without warning. Just like now. I swallowed my breath as I tried calming my surprised heart, but Evan’s body odor suddenly wafted strongly. As I blinked for a bit, the excuses in my brain froze. I heard a clear voice in my ear. Every single breath of his as he whispered quietly tickled me.

“How about hugging?”

“…Huh?”

“I often sleep like that when I can’t sleep. I’ve got severe insomnia, but when you’re there, I quickly fall asleep.”

Also, thank you for last night. His added words cut through my refusal. I dunno what I should do.

Worried that Evan would see my tears, I closed my eyes tightly. His temperature felt more vivid without my sight.

The warm sensation moved from the small of my back to my face. His touch that swept across my tightly closed eyelids and slender nose went near my mouth before long. When I cautiously opened my eyes at the unfamiliar sensation I felt on my lips, my eyes came across Evan as he stroked my lips with a serious expression.

The me reflected in Evan’s eyes had sharp eyes that were as low as possible, and a face stained red. I looked somewhat unsightly like that. Then, his thumb pierced through the gap of my open lips.

“Wait, Evan!”

“You’re so cute, Hail.”

“Ngh…”

He whispered softly. All my nerves were focused on him. His fingers steadily pressing on my lips burrowed inside my mouth. I hurriedly moved back so that his hand didn’t fully enter my mouth, but Evan’s fingertips were slightly wet with saliva. His dark eyes looked at me. It felt like he was digging through every part of me. Every time I breathed in, my chest swelled that it felt like my shirt would burst at any moment.

Evan brought the fingers he wordlessly touched me with to his own mouth. He then slowly teased the place where he’d touched me with his lips. As if he was doing it to me.

“What’re you doing!?”

I grabbed Evan’s wrist on reflex. The thin wrist I grabbed in one hand weakly bent. Evan didn’t make a single sound, looking at his wrist. Color drained from his pale hands.

Only then did I realize that I grabbed him too strongly. I quickly removed my hand, but a clear, red mark like a brand remained on Evan’s tender skin.

“S-Sorry.”

Evan stared blankly at the mark on his hand. Does it hurt a lot? Or maybe it’s broken? I need to control my strength a bit more. Hail Verde’s body is much stronger than anybody’s, worthy of being the main top. Don’t tell me I broke his wrist?

When I nervously hovered around him, he suddenly burst into laughter.

“Yep. That part of you’s cute.”

Speaking out embarrassing words, Evan let out a content smile.

“Everything about you is just so adorable.”

Adorable. That sounded like some sort of passionate confession. His hands were cold when he brushed aside the silver hair on my face. Or no, maybe it’s me that’s hot. Evan, who’d been stroking my hair for a long time, opened his mouth.

“Oh, by the way.”

His beautiful, melodious voice tickled my ears again.

“I don’t want other people touching you.”

Evan was still smiling. It was obviously the same smile, but a weird sensation went up my spine.

“Let’s make sure that doesn’t happen again. I don’t want anything dirty on you.”

Got it? Evan softly chanted. Evan fixed my hair a few times, then opened the book with a pretty smile on his face. The sound of pages turning echoed through the quiet lecture hall.

But something felt off. Was it that? Was he talking about what happened with Carmen this morning? But I was the one who touched Carmen first. Carmen didn’t touch me.

One by one, students entered the lecture hall, and class started. When the noisy clamor quieted down at the professor’s footsteps, I realized what the strange feeling was.

Evan wasn’t there at that time. But then, how’d he know?

At that moment, the air around me seemingly dropped a few degrees. I was covered in cold sweat. I slowly turned my head to the side. Diligently taking notes by himself among the others nodding off, Evan sensed my gaze on him and turned his head. When our eyes met, Evan showed a relaxed smile. His innocent looks stood out even more. His face was only filled with tenderness.

I violently shook off my cold hands and feet. My body’s probably not feeling so good since I couldn’t sleep. I thought of something strange just now. I needlessly stared at the blackboard to forget this chilling sensation. But as if trivializing my efforts, my eyes kept on turning back to Evan.

He left early in the morning for student council work, right? But he said he didn’t have time to eat breakfast. Oh, maybe he stopped by the cafeteria halfway through because he was hungry? But then again, he didn’t eat anything, so he must have been hungry.

Absorbed in my thoughts, my gaze unknowingly fixed onto him. Can Evan also sense me staring at him? I met with his limpid, twinkling, black eyes. I immediately lowered my head, but I heard a low chuckle.

「Why’re you looking at me like that?」

His fine handwriting was embroidered on a corner of the notebook. I didn’t have the heart to look at Evan’s face, so I just looked at his hand calmly moving, and froze. Every time the pen tapped on the paper, my wrist flinched. The area where my red handprint remained seemed particularly uncomfortable.

He didn’t say it hurt, but it probably hurt a whole lot. Just what have I done to that thin wrist of his?

「Sorry.」

The chill that hang in the air around me melted and disappeared at my guilt in the blink of an eye. Evan looked puzzled as if he didn’t understand what I meant by the apology I firmly jotted down.

「About what?」

But Evan’s hand was still shaking. I grew even more guilty at his face as if he didn’t realize he was in pain. He wouldn’t say it hurts even though it clearly does. Since Evan’s kind.

In the end, it was Evan’s wrist, not his writing, that filled my head for the rest of the lecture. What’s worse, we need to do our physical exam today. A situation just right on time for him to hurt his injured wrist even more. On top of that, Evan was the main bottom in the original, and his role was as unfortunate* as can be.

Even though it’s a military academy education, why’d they gotta make us do even a physical exam at school? But nothing’ll change even if I whine. Resigned, I changed into a sweatsuit as I glanced at Evan. Won’t he fall with just a small flick? The baggy sweatsuit hanging on his slender body just made his small physique stand out even more.

“Hail?”

“…You need to eat more.”

How can he make a living, being that weak? Even if he is the main bottom. He needs to be strong, to some extent. The original Hail Verde was a crazy guy, too. Since he did such cruel things to him. If it was me, I’d feed him three meals a day, and make him exercise hard.

“Hail, what’s wrong? You’ve been like this since earlier.”

When I blinked once, Evan’s distant face was now very close to me. His long eyelashes fluttered when I breathed out in a daze. His pretty face grew closer and closer, as if he was going to kiss me. His lips were thick and red on his pale face. If I touch his lips right now, they’d be very soft, right? Soft, warm… I wanted to touch them again.

“Hey, you two, what’re you doing? Get a move on!”

I heard Carmen call to us from afar. I came to my senses at his voice. What was I thinking? My cheeks stung at the same time as a smack. Still, this made me feel much better than before.

“L-Let’s go, Evan!”

“…Okay.”

There were hot gazes around us when I slapped my cheek, but I tried to put on a shameless face. It was because I slapped my red face, not because I was thinking something weird. I walked in front of Evan, shouting out a mental victory.

Carmen dashed as he looked back from afar, fear on his face. I looked back, wondering what happened, but all I saw was Evan smiling.

If ever you’re reading this on any site aside from wordpress, it’s probably been scraped by bots. Go to blislaifu.wordpress.com to actually read where it comes from.

*unfortunate – this word’s more specific than that. It’s basically a character whose life is full of mainly downs. In Ch 1, I talked about the genre the original novel used, and it’s basically just depressing shit. In this one, unfortunate does fit, but it’s more like… just a character that’s been abused, suffering, mistreated and all that… Would depressing be more accurate?

Also, some tidbit about this novel. There are some reviews on Ridi about this book, saying it feels like a middle schooler wrote it. I mean, I kinda agree, it’s very… yes, I know our characters are very sexy and beautiful and all that shit cause they’re the main characters, but I dunno about you guys, but I really only find that annoying in shoujo, not in BL. I mean, yes Hail, stop fangirling about Evan’s looks, we all know he’s beautiful and that you have amazing abs, but it’s not as annoying. I find their romance cute.