Chapter 24

7/15 This is the fourth post of the day.

After finishing dinner, I sat in a chair, staring at the glowing light powered by the fragment of a magic stone.

On the table were a notebook and a ballpoint pen.

I plan to gather information by sitting in the chair, as I’m confident that if I think about today’s new facts in bed, I’ll fall asleep immediately.

However, I’m glad tonight’s dinner was fish...

Not only was the well-seasoned fish delicious, unlike the raw fish I was gnawing on, but I think meat would have been a bit hard on my stomach today.

I was in a mental state where I had to either die or grab the magic stone, and at some point, I stopped feeling anything.

It felt like a kind of runner’s high, a special mental state.

But once I sober up, the unfamiliar scene will be burned into my mind, and I won’t feel like eating meat at all.

So, what am I going to eat? I might take a day off and explore the town to see what kind of food culture exists here.

It’s quite convenient to be able to have dinner at the inn, but I should investigate whether 1200 beeks for dinner is a normal price.

If I discover a place like "Horn Rabbit Bowl, Special 600 beeks" between the Hunter’s Guild and the inn, I might end up going there quite often when I no longer have a problem with meat.

I should also check the buyback price of magic stones at a store that deals with them, if such a store exists, and compare it with the guild.

The guild said that performance and ability are required for rank promotion, so it’s certain that turning in the parts of defeated monsters and receiving rewards counts as performance.

However, I’m not sure if turning in other items like magic stones and meat to the guild for cash is considered performance and contributes to the guild’s profit.

Since this could affect my options for selling, I need to explore all possibilities to avoid making a loss.

I think it would be better to ask Rody, who seems more straightforward, rather than Amanda...

Then there’s the matter of my status.

I didn’t expect that the "amazing" thing Donduri mentioned would be so amazing...

The ability to see my level and stats, which only I can recognize, at any time is probably a kind of skill.

When I first obtained the "Charge" skill, I wondered why there were two blank spaces above it.

Even now, those spaces remain blank, but if the ability to see this detailed status is a skill, it makes sense.

Donduri did two things for me: showing me this status screen and reverting my physical age. I don’t know why neither of these is displayed as a skill name, but I’m sure the age reversal is probably a skill like "Rejuvenation" or something similar.

From what I’ve heard from Sister and Jink, it seems that skills and skill levels in this world are treated similarly to qualifications in Japan.

For example, if you study abroad and become fluent in English, the goddess would grant you the "English Proficiency" skill at level 2.

However, the difference is that the moment you obtain the qualification, you gain a special ability. For instance, with the "Presence Detection" skill, you can sense movements within a 5-meter radius through your skin.

Defeating unrecognized monsters and leveling up is similar to accumulating virtue. In Japan, where religious concepts are weak, it’s more about wanting to be a good person, or some people believing in an afterlife to make it easier to go to heaven.

Some people do it subconsciously, while others don’t, depending on their personality.

The benefit of accumulating virtue is networking and harmonious relationships, but often, those who accumulate too much virtue end up losing out, while bad people make more money. In Japan, it’s hard to say that accumulating virtue directly leads to practical benefits.

However, in this world, accumulating virtue through skill acquisition and level-up means that your abilities are forcibly enhanced by external forces.

In reality, it’s simply a matter of using skill points gained from leveling up, which are managed by the goddess. The tangible benefit of defeating monsters, which is a virtuous act, is balanced against the risk of death.

The difference from the original world is just that.

Yes, just that. Despite the existence of magic and the lag in civilization, everyone in this world wishes for happiness and lives their daily lives, just like in Japan.

That’s right.

That’s how it is.

I had a general idea, but... this place really feels real...

I might think it’s obvious, but fighting and getting hurt by monsters with a physical body, and eating and sleeping, are all very real to me.

When I was first transported to this world, I saw the "status screen" Donduri gave me. I could see it immediately, just like in a game.

So, was I transported to a game-like world or a real world like Earth?

I wasn’t sure.

Or maybe I had a vague idea.

In the forest, there were insects just like in Japan, and small ants were marching in a line out of their nests.

There were spider webs between the branches, and I saw insects caught in them. I was clearing the webs with a branch as I moved through the forest.

If this were a game, it wouldn’t make sense to use resources on such details.

It would be more logical to add an attractive boss or something.

Getting hit hurts, and blood flows.

If I feel nauseous, I get sick, and I’ve even had a stomachache once.

Jink, Amanda, Sister, the innkeeper, and the shopkeepers don’t seem like NPCs at all.

They don’t repeat the same responses; they think, act, and speak just like my few friends and colleagues in Japan.

Thinking about it...

I’m the only one who’s mixing up the game and reality in this world.

I’ve been indulging in strange ways and acting recklessly, and I’ve been unconsciously switching between a game perspective and a real perspective.

I feel that when I’m in a game perspective, the chances of me dying are higher.

(Fix it... I have to fix it... but I don’t have much confidence...)

In the past, when I was obsessed with games, the game was my reality.

24 hours a day, even when I went to the bathroom or took a bath, I was always thinking about whether my character was still alive, whether they were efficiently defeating enemies, and whether I might find a rare drop when I returned.

I ate in front of the computer, always looking at the screen.

Even in my dreams, I was hunting and getting excited about the drops...

I thought I had corrected myself and become a proper adult, but seeing this world where I can get so absorbed is hard to resist.

Thinking about it, the reason I stopped playing games when I became an adult was because I was afraid of going back to my old self, using the excuse that I didn’t have time.

I can’t enjoy games as a hobby. I know my character too well.

I’m disappointed in my weak self and don’t want to accept such a situation.

In a world where effort leads to results, it’s even harder to resist.

As a result, I might choose to give up everything... I’m already suspicious of myself.

Using Jink and the others, who are about the age of my own children, is a clear sign.

As a salesperson, I wouldn’t even think about using children.

Ah... I feel guilty when I think about it... but that’s my true nature.

It’s the real me, before I corrected myself and put on a facade.

Can I endure being weak and pitiful?

(No, I can’t.)

So, what should I do?

(...)

This isn’t a game. It’s a real world.

There’s no "convenient reset button" to stop and reset things when I can’t endure.

How can I get back? When I was in the forest, I thought about it and called out to Donduri many times when I felt down...

But since I arrived in town, I haven’t thought about it once.

Because I found this world’s system enjoyable.

Because I felt I could become strong in this world.

"Donduri... If I keep going like this, I’ll just keep rotting. I think it’s not too late now. I think I can still turn back. Can you... send me back to my original world?"

...

...

...

Well... I knew there wouldn’t be any response...

Probably because Donduri sees through my true feelings.

Huff...

The light from the magic stone-powered lamp went out, and the room was enveloped in darkness.

The light coming in from the small window was very weak, and I could barely make out the notebook on the table.

I gently closed the notebook, and my gaze naturally turned to the small window, seeking light.

"Pitch black... like a completely black-clad demon king..."

The existence I learned about from calling myself Loki.

I don’t know if the hero Takuya really defeated him, but he’s supposed to be gone.

My thoughts and personality feel more like a demon king than a hero. ...Haha, should I aim for it? The demon king?

Muttering to myself in the darkness, Donduri didn’t respond.

Is it a joke? Or does Donduri think it’s impossible? Or maybe Donduri just isn’t interested in me.

Well, it’s fine.

In the end, it’s about who I live for.

And I live for myself.

Since I was suddenly transported here, I don’t have any other choice.

So, I’ll just have to see what happens.

But still—

"Should I tell them? At least the truth to Jink and the others..."

Such thoughts naturally slipped out of my mouth.

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