Chapter 25: Night Talk (Part 1)

Liu Qian lay down in her clothes, her mind racing with thoughts in the darkness, unable to fall asleep.

Guo Sufei, who usually tidied the house and went to bed last, was already lying on the kang (a traditional heated bed) early tonight, without getting up to settle the others. These details were not noticed by the other men, but Liu Qian was observant, especially of the unusual expression on Guo Sufei's face after she returned from her grandmother's house, which made Liu Qian even more suspicious. However, this was ultimately the Zhang family's business, and as an outsider, Liu Qian felt it was inappropriate to ask, so she kept it to herself.

Guo Sufei also tossed and turned in the darkness, occasionally sobbing softly. After a long while, her mood calmed down, and she whispered, "Qianqian, are you still awake?"

Liu Qian replied cautiously, "I haven't fallen asleep yet, Auntie."

Guo Sufei sighed, apologetically saying, "Sigh, there are some things that make me uncomfortable, and I've made you uncomfortable too."

Liu Qian smiled and said, "Auntie, everyone has their troubles; it's nothing to worry about."

There was another moment of silence. Guo Sufei continued, "Qianqian, when did your mother leave you?"

Liu Qian thought for a moment and said, "According to my father, it was when I was four years old. She fell ill with a serious disease, and despite seeking medical help, it was ineffective. I don't have many memories of her."

Guo Sufei said, "Not having memories might be a kind of happiness, as you don't have to constantly miss her."

Liu Qian said, "Yes, Auntie, that makes sense. My memories of my mother are all from what my father told me. He said that my mother's family was very wealthy, while my father's family was poor at the time. But my father's knowledge moved my mother. My grandparents were against it and firmly disagreed, but my mother left home to be with my father, cutting off all ties with her family. My grandfather was heartless; to this day, I don't know where they are, and they have never come to see us. My father is very knowledgeable but dislikes politics and the intrigue of the government, which is why he never left home and has always lived in the village, teaching for a living. My mother lived there with him."

After a pause, Liu Qian continued, "My mother was always frail, and the doctor advised her not to have children. But for my father, she still gave birth to my brother, which severely weakened her. It took her many years to recover. When she was pregnant with me, my father advised her not to, fearing any mishaps. My mother said that since the child was already there, it was a gift from heaven, and she was willing to give up everything for the child. My birth was smooth, but my mother's health deteriorated, and she remained in poor condition until she passed away. I often think that if my mother hadn't had me, she would have been fine."

At this point, Liu Qian's voice became choked with emotion.

Guo Sufei comforted her, "Qianqian, when you become a mother, you will understand. A child is everything to a mother. If a mother can do ten things for her child, she will never do just nine. Even when you were still in your mother's womb, everything about you was already etched in her heart. She would never consider her own health and abandon you. She would have thought of you early on and brought you safely into this world."

Liu Qian said, "Yes, Auntie. Sometimes I am very grateful to my mother. Although I only have vague memories of her, she not only escaped the constraints of her family for her own happiness but also sacrificed her life for her child. Sometimes I think, maternal love is so ordinary yet so great. Moreover, Auntie, although I have been here for a short time, I really like the harmonious atmosphere in your family. Seeing how much Xiaohua and the others depend on you, I am very envious."

Guo Sufei said, "Qianqian, I can't compare to your mother. I grew up in this small village and never learned to read or write, unlike your mother who read many books and knew many things. Since your uncle came to live with us, I have always felt that if two people live together, they should live in harmony and mutual respect. Otherwise, what joy is there in life? Later, we had Xiaolong, Xiaohu, and Xiaohua, and watching them grow up bit by bit is a feeling you can't understand, filled with pride and accomplishment. Your uncle and I don't know many characters and have little knowledge, so our children have suffered, unable to receive a good education and not being able to compare with you and your siblings."

Liu Qian said, "Auntie, that's not true. Although my siblings and I have read more books, recognized more characters, and seen more things, when Yueyue and I were bullied in town, there were many educated people present, but who stood up? It was people like Xiaolong, who didn't read much but knew the justice of the world and stood up without fear of power or violence. That kind of goodness is true goodness. The more books one reads, the more one becomes cautious and less passionate, and it's not necessarily better than not reading at all."

Guo Sufei also said with satisfaction, "Speaking of them, I am truly happy. These children are naturally kind and very sensible from a young age. Although they are mischievous, they don't harm others and know their family's situation, never causing us trouble. The villagers have always liked them. They have done many good deeds for others. Raising them to this point, I, as their mother, am very proud of them. Sometimes I think, if our family's situation had been better, they might not be as reliable now."

Liu Qian agreed, "Yes, Auntie. Sometimes, a person's fate is predetermined. Growing up well in this environment, changing it might not lead to a good result."

Then, seeing that Guo Sufei's mood had improved, Liu Qian asked, "Auntie, you haven't told me about today's events yet. Keeping things bottled up is not good for you, and speaking about them can be beneficial for your health."

Guo Sufei forced a smile, "Look at me, talking about the children and straying from the topic. I do think about my children a lot in my life."

Liu Qian didn't respond, and Guo Sufei continued, "As a mother, I worry about my children's warmth and food, but I have neglected my own mother. When I was a child, my mother took care of me and paid attention to me. She watched me grow up and become an adult. Now, I focus all my attention on my own children and have forgotten my mother early on. Although I take care of her, cook for her, and make new clothes for her, I rarely talk to her or ask about her thoughts. Now, thinking about it, I should have done more for my mother."

Liu Qian also felt a lump in her throat. Yes, all mothers love their children, but their children often neglect their mothers. She comforted Guo Sufei, "Auntie, your grandmother sees that you are devoted to your children, and she is happy. She won't mind that you don't care about her; she will pass on her love to her grandchildren. Besides, Auntie, your mother is still with you, which is better than me, who has no mother to love."

Guo Sufei said softly, "But when you want to repay your mother, you realize that the time you have with her is limited. Do you regret not realizing this earlier?"

Liu Qian also sighed, "Yes, the regret of wanting to care for your parents but finding they are no longer around is one of life's greatest sorrows. However, Auntie, your grandmother is quite old, and she has seen you get married and your grandchildren grow up. She must be very happy. Although you haven't directly cared for her, you have indirectly shown your love and concern. I think your grandmother would never blame you."

After a moment, Guo Sufei said, "Qianqian, being able to read, write, and understand things as you do is very good. Hearing your words has made me feel much better. We village women sometimes can't see things clearly."

Liu Qian said, "Auntie, don't praise me so much; I am also from a farming family."

Guo Sufei said, "Qianqian, don't be modest. I know there is no one as wise as you in the surrounding villages. By the way, if Grandma was rude to you this afternoon, please don't take it to heart."

Liu Qian said, "No, Auntie."

Guo Sufei was quiet for a while and finally said, "Qianqian, speaking of which, this is her last wish, and our family really likes you. I have always wanted to ask about your feelings. Since we have talked so much tonight, I will be straightforward. What do you think of Xiaolong?"

Now it was Liu Qian's turn to be quiet.

Liu Qian didn't know how to answer. She was satisfied with Xiaolong, but the time they had spent together was short, and it was not enough to see a person's true nature. However, sometimes, fate is hard to explain. A short time can leave a lifelong impression, while years of interaction may only leave friendship. Understanding a person can sometimes take just one look, and if you can't understand, even a thousand looks will be blurry. Her relationship with Xiaolong, from his heroic rescue to her willingness to be with him, was a beautiful story, but to stake her entire life's happiness on Zhang Xiaolong was still a source of hesitation.

Her grandmother was very kind to her, and the Zhang family was also very kind. She liked Zhang Xiaolong and this poor but warm and harmonious family. This family reminded her of her own loving and warm family, and she was willing to join this family and fulfill her grandmother's last wish, seeing her leave the world without regrets. But everything seemed too premature. Perhaps she needed some time to let it mature and ferment?

Liu Qian hesitated, finding it difficult to answer.

After a long while, she said, "Auntie, it's too late tonight. Let's talk about it another day."

Guo Sufei also sighed softly and said no more.

In the Zhang family's small courtyard, the moonlight was bright, and how many people were still awake?

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End of Chapter 25: Night Talk (Part 1)