Chapter 44: Doubts

On the way back from Balingou, Zhang Cai kept thinking about what Mr. Liu had said. "I agreed to let Qianqian take care of Xiaolong, hoping she would repay the kindness. Hero saves beauty, and the beauty repays with her life—that’s a story from legends. I never thought about it that way. Now that Xiaolong’s injuries have largely healed, I plan to bring Qianqian back in a few days. It’s not right for her to stay at Uncle Zhang’s place for too long."

What could Zhang Cai say? His family was already inferior to the Liu family. Xiaolong was just a farmer, and he didn’t match up to the well-educated and cultured Qianqian. After these days of living together, the Zhang family saw Qianqian as a golden phoenix, but they had no phoenix tree to attract her. Even though Qianqian truly liked Zhang Xiaolong and was willing to live with the Zhang family, who knew what the future would hold? It would be better to not get together now to avoid future troubles. Alas, what a pity for Qianqian, who would have been a good daughter-in-law, and for Xiaolong’s deep affection.

Zhang Cai sighed all the way to Guo Village, his brows never relaxing.

Back home, Zhang Xiaolong and the others were eagerly waiting, hoping Zhang Cai would bring good news. But seeing him enter with a gloomy face, they knew things hadn’t gone well. Zhang Cai entered the house and plopped down on a chair. Zhang Xiaolong quickly brought him some water. After drinking, Zhang Cai rested for a moment before recounting what had happened at Mr. Liu’s house. Everyone, feeling anxious, remained silent. Guo Sufei asked, "Should we tell Mother?"

Zhang Cai thought for a moment and said, "Let’s not tell her for now. Mother knows we went to Balingou. If it were good news, she would be the first to know. Since we’re not telling her, she probably knows it’s not good news. By the way, where’s Qianqian?"

Guo Sufei pointed to the inner room and said, "She saw you come back and hid. I’ll call her out and tell her what her father said, so she can start packing."

Zhang Xiaolong said, "Mother, let me go. I think Qianqian won’t go back, and there’s no need to pack yet."

Guo Sufei looked at Zhang Xiaolong lovingly and said, "Alright, you go. Maybe Qianqian can persuade her father."

A short while later, Liu Qianqian followed Zhang Xiaolong out of the inner room. Her face was pale, and she looked at everyone without saying a word, quietly sitting in a corner. Everyone sat down and watched her silently. In Qianqian’s heart, a storm of thoughts was raging. She couldn’t understand her father’s intentions. Her father had always indulged her and never went against her wishes. Even in the matter of choosing a husband, it was always her decision. Many people had come to propose, but her father never expressed his own opinion, leaving it to her preferences. This was indeed strange. She had made her decision, but he was opposing it. Could he be afraid that Uncle Zhang would deceive him? But that didn’t make sense. Could it be that he wanted her brother to get married first and then consider her? Thinking about this, Qianqian felt troubled. Liu Kai’s standards were also very high; he didn’t find any of the girls from nearby villages suitable. If he got engaged first, she would become an old maid.

Qianqian looked up and saw everyone looking at her with concern. She forced a smile and said, "I don’t quite understand my father’s intentions. When he comes to pick me up in a few days, I’ll ask him again."

She then looked at Zhang Xiaolong and nodded, and he finally showed a slight smile.

This night was bound to be a heavy one. Everyone ate dinner without much appetite, quickly finished, and then went to bed. Guo Sufei, while delivering dinner to her grandmother, was asked by her if Zhang Cai had brought good news. Guo Sufei was about to mumble something, but her grandmother said, "It’s fine, Sufei. I know our family’s situation. The children are excellent, but our circumstances are what they are. It’s normal for others to be picky. Let the children follow their destiny. If they are meant to be a family, they will eventually come together."

Guo Sufei felt a mix of joy and worry. She was glad her mother understood the situation clearly, but she was worried that her mother’s last wish might not be fulfilled, making her feel somewhat unfilial.

After dinner, everyone had no heart for work. They chatted for a while and then went to bed. Only Zhang Cai and Guo Sufei stayed up in the main room, discussing for a long time before returning to their room.

The inner room was dark, and Guo Sufei climbed onto the bed in the dark. She lay there, still thinking about the conversation with Zhang Cai. She heard Liu Qianqian tossing and turning, unable to sleep, and asked, "Are you thinking about what your father said?"

"Yes, Auntie," Qianqian replied faintly.

Guo Sufei said, "Qianqian, your father is actually doing what he thinks is best for you. You’re still young and haven’t experienced much of life. Your father has his own ideas and wants you to have a happy life. We understand that. Our family can’t offer you much. When your father was young, he couldn’t provide a good life for your mother because of their family’s circumstances, which became his lifelong regret. So he values this a lot. The most important thing, I think, is that he wants to find you a scholar. He and your brother are both scholars, and he naturally hopes your husband will be one too, so you can enjoy a life of poetry and literature, which is what you deserve. As for Xiaolong, my own son, I think he’s good, but our family’s circumstances were poor, and we couldn’t afford to educate him. Life forced us to make that choice. Who doesn’t want their child to succeed?"

"I understand, Auntie. I’m starting to understand my father’s intentions, but in my heart, I still feel that a life of poetry and literature, though beautiful, is not the only kind of happiness. A life where you fetch water and I water the garden, you plow the fields and I weave, is also a kind of happiness. Two hearts in a family, mutual respect and love, even if we are poor, we can change our lives with our own hands. I grew up in the countryside and have a strong body. Although I haven’t done farm work before, I believe I can do it as well as anyone else," Qianqian said defiantly.

Guo Sufei laughed and said, "Qianqian, you’re a determined child. Actually, marriage is often not just about two people. You have to integrate into a new family, adapt to their life, and make them accept you. It’s not just about your husband accepting you. There are many small things in daily life that can make you unhappy."

Qianqian said, "I know, Auntie. At home, my father and brother didn’t know how to do housework, so I did everything. I’m well-prepared for these things. And... and during the time I’ve been here, I’ve felt that the family atmosphere is very good and harmonious. I feel here what I couldn’t feel at home. I think I can integrate well into this family."

Her voice grew softer, as if she was embarrassed.

"Also, most importantly, I think Xiaolong is very good, in every way. I don’t want to lose the chance for a happy life because of our family’s circumstances. I’ve hesitated before, thinking that Xiaolong not knowing how to read might mean we have nothing to talk about. But I’ve thought about it, and I can teach Xiaolong to read and write. He’s agreed, and I believe we can have a good life and not worry you."

Guo Sufei listened and felt very comforted. She reassured Qianqian, "Qianqian, I’m very happy that you’ve said all this. You’ve seen that our family likes you a lot. Not just Xiaolong, but I and your Uncle Zhang sometimes see you as a daughter-in-law. Little Hua and Little Hu even want to call you Big Sister. We’ll do our best to bring you into our family. Do you remember the money we got from the bully in Luzhen?"

Qianqian said, "Oh, yes, I almost forgot about that. It was quite a sum."

Guo Sufei said, "I discussed with your Uncle Zhang. If your father is worried about our family’s poverty and lack of money to provide you with a good life, we plan to exchange that silver ticket. I believe the amount will satisfy your father."

Qianqian immediately stopped her, saying, "Auntie, don’t use that silver ticket now. If the bully has set a trap at the money shop in Luzhen, we’ll be walking into it. Without absolute certainty, we mustn’t do this. Otherwise, we won’t be able to live a normal life, let alone make your father feel at ease. Besides, my father isn’t someone who only cares about money. He must have other reasons. Let’s wait until he comes and ask him."

Guo Sufei agreed, "Yes, I told your Uncle Zhang the same thing. But he’s worried that your father will take you away, so he thought of this plan. When your father comes, we’ll ask him what he’s thinking. Anyway, I think if Xiaolong doesn’t find you, he won’t find anyone else. He might never get married."

Qianqian giggled, "Auntie, you’re exaggerating. I’m not that good. Meeting Xiaolong is our destiny."

Guo Sufei said, "Yes, it’s destiny, but destiny is set by heaven. Turning destiny into a real family is up to us. Heaven doesn’t manage that. Let’s get some sleep and take care of our family."

Qianqian said, "Okay, Auntie, you get some sleep too."

Qianqian felt a great relief after sharing her thoughts with Guo Sufei and soon fell asleep. Guo Sufei, hearing Qianqian’s light snoring, felt happy. Even if Qianqian couldn’t become her daughter-in-law, she would still wish her happiness. Thinking about this, she also fell asleep.

Only in the opposite small room, Zhang Cai and Zhang Xiaolong found it hard to sleep, not knowing when they finally drifted off.