Ch8 - Balcony Reunion

Translator: phizzlepop

Editor: mantou

It wasn’t until Qi Yan ran into the dormitory building that half the fear gripping Song Fei’s heart dissipated. However, there were already mutants inside the building that’d run in the day before. No one could say for sure whether Qi Yan would be able to safely hide inside his dorm room or not, so the remaining half wouldn’t let go no matter what.

Those running for their lives all rushed into the dormitory building, and only the army of mutants were left downstairs trailing behind them. Unlike the stampede of students who’d gathered together like a herd of antelopes, these mutants had no concept of organization. There were those fast and those slow in speed as they ran over sporadically, spanning a long distance. Although they were considerable in quantity, they didn’t gather much momentum.

For the first time, Song Fei was watching “those things” from a bystander’s perspective. He didn’t need to run for his life, didn’t need to go on a mad dash, and observed them from high above, as though from a god’s perspective.

These all used to be his classmates, languid and indolent boys, cute and clever girls. There were even those who probably hadn’t suffered too much damage when they’d been attacked, and also hadn’t managed to attack anyone after mutating, so practically not a single drop of blood could be spotted on them from head to toe. If you ignored their unnatural movements and their somewhat abnormal expressions, these people seemed to still be the students you might pass by on campus.

Song Fei didn’t know how to describe this feeling; terrified, disconcerted, chilled, saddened, and the urge to slap himself twice in the face out of furious disgust. He’d complained countless times how monotonous university life had been, and had even imagined how aliens would come to attack the Earth, the university transforming into a battlefield, and at that time, how he’d absolutely tear up all of his textbooks first, then among the shreds of paper fluttering around him, go all out and tussle with the aliens.

The aliens hadn’t come, mutants had come.

Their childish selves were this vulnerable in the face of the unexpected. The monotony that he once disdained was now the beautiful dream he wanted to catch the most, but couldn’t get ahold of no matter what.

“Help ahhhh—”

Suddenly, there came the disorderly sounds of footsteps and a miserable cry for help from the corridor.

Song Fei gave a start, then immediately ran back inside his room and leaned against the inside of his door, but before he could press his ear against it, an even more miserable cry for help that practically had the undertones of sobbing in it shattered his eardrums—

“Can anyone f*cking open the door for me ahhh, I’m begging you guys ahhhhhh—”

Song Fei was practically about to shatter his teeth from clenching them so hard. If he opened the door, there was an 80% chance he’d die, but if he didn’t open the door, then what was the difference between him and those mutants!

Taking a deep breath, Song Fei squeezed the door handle tightly, and was just about to unlock it, when he abruptly paused, his eyes suddenly lighting up like he’d just thought of something, and a heroic shout left his lips, “Run towards 440, I’ll open the door for you!!!”

This shout wasn’t timely rain for the student outside, it was a f*cking lifebuoy ah. The student outside who’d already exhausted his strength and thought he wouldn’t be able to run anymore was instantly possessed by Usain Bolt.

When Song Fei heard his originally heavy footsteps picking up the pace again, he was about to be pleased, when he discovered that while his pace was indeed faster, his voice seemed to be getting farther and farther away…

“You’re f*cking running the wrong way!!!”

Song Fei almost collapsed on the spot. If those mutants really were zombies, they’d definitely leave in disappointment after cracking this guy’s skull open and taking a look inside!

Fortunately, before long, the sounds of footsteps had returned, and were getting closer and closer. Song Fei swallowed nervously, then seized the opportunity to abruptly open the door!

Campus Bolt rushed straight inside like a rocket!

The instant he rushed in, Song Fei had already moved to close the door almost seamlessly, but who knew the mutant at his heels was even faster, and the door that Song Fei had slammed shut directly bumped into the mutant! One using the hands, the other using the body, the amount of force was nowhere near the same order of magnitude, and by the time Song Fei wanted to brace the door with his body, it was already too late, and the huge force of impact had long since flung the door open, and the mutant directly charged in!

Campus Bolt seemed to have long expected this kind of situation to happen, and had immediately picked up a chair as soon as he ran in, then turned around with lightning speed, and fought back by whacking the mutant with it!

The mutant appeared as unintelligent and unable to feel pain as ever, but the attacker’s ruthlessness still made it stagger, and its body temporarily tilted to one side.

Song Fei was flabbergasted, but he recovered right away, and shut the door to the dormitory, locking it with a kada!

Campus Bolt who’d been prepared to drive the mutant out the door was practically about to go crazy, “The f*ck did you lock the door for, ah!!!”

Song Fei’s admiration that’d just been ignited by his strength was instantly flattened by his IQ, but he had no time to explain, because the mutant who was standing up straight again had pounced for its prey once more!

Campus Bolt repeated the same trick, and aimed right for the other’s head with the chair again!

This huge impact caused the other’s skin to split and flesh to gape open on its forehead, blood splattering in all directions, but different from humans, the color of the blood was a strange, dark red color that was almost black!

The mutant was clearly oblivious to its head being cracked open, and after a brief pause, directly reached out for the chair in Campus Bolt’s hands, then forcefully yanked on it. The chair was wrested from his hands, directly hitting the steel edge of the loft bed next to him with a guangdang, then fell heavily once more!

Campus Bolt was distracted by the chair that’d left his grip, and by the time he’d regained his senses and wanted to PK with his bare hands, the mutant had already grabbed him by the shoulders, and was pulling him closer, that hideous, gaping maw just about to chomp on his face!

There was no way to avoid it, and being bitten seemed to be a foregone conclusion. But, just as he was thinking this, a baby pink floral bed sheet came flying through the air, directly covering the mutant’s head!

Cover, tighten, pull. The mutant was like a crazy horse that’d been reined in, and was instantly tugged two steps away.

The warrior pulling on the sheets didn’t wait for the mutant to stand firm, and lifted a leg to lethally trip the mutant with a shadowless kick, causing it to fall backwards onto the ground. Campus Bolt felt pained just hearing the guangdang from that hard fall.

“What’re you standing around dumbly for, lift its legs ah, don’t let it get up!” The bed sheet warrior roared.

Campus Bolt immediately grabbed the mutant’s ankles obediently, and hauled them up!

The mutant wasn’t going to let them have their way, and immediately started struggling. He almost lost his grip several times!

Fortunately, before he’d exhausted all of his strength, the bed sheet warrior first gagged the mutant’s mouth with balled-up bed sheets, then reached under the mutant’s armpits, and heaved up— the mutant had been successfully lifted up by the two of them!

“Chuck it downstairs!”

Three imposing words.

Campus Bolt didn’t hesitate in the slightest, and accelerated in reverse straightaway!

With a loud guangdang, the mutant hit the pavement. Together with the baby pink floral bed sheet, it formed a strange picture.

“I know why you locked the door now,” Campus Bolt said with lingering fear, “There’s still a chance to fight back if you concentrate on dealing with one of them. If a second one had come in after him, both of us would’ve died without a doubt.”

Normally, Song Fei would’ve definitely boasted a bit and showed off. But right now, he was out of breath and really not in the mood.

“Department of Foreign Languages, hu, Qiao Siqi.”

“Department of History, Song Fei.”

“I owe you my life.”

“Drop it, ba, we’re all classmates, don’t mention it.”

“We’re all classmates, but only you opened the door for me.”

“…”

Song Fei didn’t know how to respond. At the juncture of life and death, any choices made were all instinct.

“Song Fei!”

Suddenly, an anxious shout came from downstairs.

Song Fei was shocked. He quickly stuck his head out and looked over, and as expected, caught a figure looking upwards from the second floor balcony diagonally below.

“Qi Yan!”

Song Fei waved enthusiastically. Although they were only meeting from afar, it was still enough to make a person weep with joy!

Qi Yan, however, seemed to not be reassured yet: “You’re okay, ba!”

Song Fei immediately patted his chest: “Nothing’s wrong, fighting is this brother’s specialty!”

Qi Yan really wished he could drag over this fellow who could still joke around at a time like this, and give his face a good squeeze: “Did you not lock the door properly, how could they still get in!”

This matter couldn’t be properly explained within a short period of time, so Song Fei simply focused on the key point: “It’s already locked now anyway, so don’t worry, ba!”

“Hey, you on the second floor,” Luo Geng, whose hands had been sweating this entire time on Song Fei’s behalf, couldn’t hold back his curiosity, and finally asked Qi Yan, “It’s normal for me to have a clear idea about everything because I’m on the opposite side. You’re at a vertical angle, plus you were inside your room. How exactly did you determine that the monster fell from Song Fei’s dorm room?”

“I told you it’s not a monster, it’s a zombie!” Zhou Yilu upstairs was apparently also on his balcony, as he zealously interjected.

Luo Geng ignored him, and was still looking to Qi Yan for help to dispel his doubts.

Qi Yan felt that this was hardly a sophisticated question: “I can’t see from inside my room, but I can hear. Won’t I find out as soon as I run outside and look down.”

Luo Geng frowned. As a man of science, despite his grades being a bit poor ba, his thought processes still instinctively followed logic. “Then that’s even more odd. By the time you ran outside, the monster had already fallen off. How did you determine it came from Song Fei’s room?”

Qi Yan lips were pressed together tightly, and he kind of regretted going along with this topic.

Song Fei’s heart sank. This was a minefield for Qi Yan. Luo Geng could really do a one sweep, one hit. He quickly followed with, “Why do you have so many questions, quickly go back and check if your door’s locked, don’t get attacked again.”

Luo Geng was nonplussed: “It’s obviously very weird, aren’t you curious?”

Song Fei rolled his eyes. Curious, his *ss ah, he could figure it out just by using his toes…

“You wouldn’t be able to find a second one of those vulgar bed sheets of his if you went through this entire building.”

Qi Yan’s answer suddenly came from below.

His voice wasn’t loud, but there also weren’t any signs of concealment or unnaturalness.

Luo Geng glanced at the pink florals and was totally convinced by this answer: “Indeed.”

Qi Yan didn’t speak up again.

Song Fei breathed a sigh of relief, finally at ease, but also feeling a little uncomfortable. He didn’t plan on publicly coming out of the closet at school, but he also didn’t want to duck and hide. Whether he liked men or women was his business, and wasn’t something that needed to be proved to anyone, nor was it something that he needed to disguise or cover up. But, Qi Yan didn’t think this way. Qi Yan felt that their current selves were in too weak a state, without any power to resist the pressures brought about by identifying as gay. Even if this identity hadn’t been confirmed, just the doubts and suspicions would be deadly enough.

This wasn’t a matter of whether they preferred to eat sweet potatoes or potatoes.

This was a matter of whether they preferred to eat meat or vegetables.

Too fundamental a difference to reconcile.

Qiao Siqi was not as silly and sweet as Luo Geng. As a man who’d traversed the 2D and 3D, he could pick up on these subtleties right away. But it wasn’t as though he could just ask his savior right after escaping danger, hey, why is the relationship between you two so good that you can remember what each other’s bed sheets look like?

“Where’d you guys run back from?”

The little theater inside Qiao Siqi’s head was cut off. “The canteen. Originally, we’d locked up everything, and blocked off anything that we could. Nothing happened all night until just now, no idea how they managed to smash the doors open. The place closest to the canteen was the dormitories, so everyone ran, and I followed along, but once we got inside the dorm building, everyone split up, and anyone that made it inside a room just f*cking locked the door, and it’s not like I could continue to rush upstairs by myself, so I could only call for help ah, really some sh*tty luck.”

Canteen.

Qi Yan was there waiting for him so that they could eat together.

Instead of welcoming his arrival, he’d ended up welcoming the arrival of the mutants. Song Fei could imagine just how depressed Qi Yan must’ve been. But they weren’t in any condition to meet face to face. If they had been, that fellow would absolutely go on about it for half a day.

“F*cking hell!”

“The f*ck…”

“Crazy, ba…”

Gasps of astonishment from the opposite building arose one after the other.

Song Fei was puzzled and looked across, “What’s up?”

Luo Geng looked utterly dumbfounded as he pointed below him, “Look down…”

Song Fei was full of misgivings as he stuck his head out, then his eyeballs almost fell right out of his head. Qi Yan was using all four limbs to climb up from one balcony to another just like Spiderman. When he was tired, he’d jump onto the nearest balcony after confirming the sliding door was indeed closed to rest a bit. Once he’d recovered enough, he’d continue. In short, with extremely staunch perseverance, at an extremely slow speed, he was gradually approaching 440.

The girls’ dormitories had filed complaints to the school more than once about the design of the balustrades on their balconies not being safe, and how it’d be easy for people to climb over them at night. Song Fei used to make fun of them behind their backs, saying that girls really had nothing better to do. Now, he wanted to give those girls his sincerest apologies.

Against the backdrop of a rising sun, there was the silhouette of an agile figure scaling the walls, profusely dripping with sweat. No matter the floor, no matter the department or program, all who could witness this scene with their own eyes from whatever angle their dorm room was located, unanimously found it utterly breathtaking. In contrast, the balconies of the dorm rooms Spiderman paid a visit to were somewhat pitiful. The already spooked students in these dorm rooms had even thought that the mutants had unlocked evolution mode, and could directly climb up walls now. Quite a few of them had almost used their broomsticks to jab him right off.

Finally, Qi Yan-tongxue, who had crossed thousands of mountains and rivers through great difficulties and dangers, successfully made it onto the 440 balcony.

Song Fei hadn’t made a peep, while his heart was already wrinkled up like a crumpled handkerchief.

It wasn’t until both of Qi Yan’s feet had landed on the ground, that Song Fei grumpily snapped, “Have you lost your mind ah, what’d you climb up for?”

Qi Yan fulfilled his wishes of squeezing his face, then murmured in a voice that only the other could hear, “Ninety-nine percent of the time, your liveliness is rather annoying, but today is an exception.”

From yesterday’s incident until now, the rims of Song Fei’s eyes became watery for the very first time.

He hugged Qi Yan tightly, like he was trying to meld him into his own body.

Qi Yan gently patted his back. At this moment, for once, he’d forgotten all about his scruples, forgotten just how many pairs of eyes were watching from the building across, and only wanted to tell Song Fei, “I can’t let you be by yourself.”

Such warmth and tenderness was really not like Qi Yan at all. Song Fei really wished that this moment could last for an eternity. “Don’t worry, I’m not by myself.”

Qi Yan rubbed his head with his chin, “En, I’ll be with you.”

Song Fei grinned: “Fantastic, the three of us can even Fight the Landlord.”

Qi Yan: “…”

A hand stretched out from the shadows: “Hello, I’m Qiao Siqi. You can call me John. Uh, actually, you can also just ignore me ha…”

At last, Qi Yan’s visual field was no longer limited to Song Fei, and it gradually widened. Only then, did he clearly see that there was another student on this balcony.

Qiao Siqi’s hand was frozen in midair, somewhat awkwardly. He kept feeling like the gaze Spiderman-tongxue was looking at him with wasn’t particularly friendly.

“You climbed up too?”

“No way, I walked in through the door.”

“…”

Oh no, his unfriendliness seemed to have turned into naked hatred.

Author’s Chapter Summary:

The cowherd and weaver girl meet on a magpie bridge, an academic tyrant and academic underachiever meet on a balcony!

The translator has something to say:

let us light a candle once more for our spiderman brethren whose cool moment was ruined by a lightbulb, his pickup line ruined by SF being excited to play Fight the Landlord instead.

bonus candle for the lightbulb who accidentally attracted a bunch of aggro