Chapter 6

Parsed with an automated reader. The content accuracy is not guranteed.

Series: A Love That Lurks at the Dining Table

Previous chapter

Delicious and nutritious food for Hino-kun!

It’s been about a week since I bought and started studying a nutritional cookbook as well as researching about vegetables online. But lately, his condition has been strange.

He has been spaced out, like he’s not getting enough sleep and his features are dark. He seemed fine when eating lunch, but he didn’t seem well at all before and afterwards.

So I suspected that Hino-kun was suffering from anemia or malnourishment. And although May was almost over, it could also be the May blues, so I tried to use recipes that helped with those.

But his condition persisted and whenever I asked him about it, he just said he was fine and didn’t want to say anything further. I felt like I shouldn’t push him too much, but it was frustrating to be so powerless.

Today, I was holding a bento that I made with a desire to help him and headed to the empty classroom like usual. But I was a little worried.

Looking out the dark window made me even more worried. There was gym after lunch today, but at this rate it was gonna rain so it would likely be indoors.

“Igarashi–“

While I was walking down the hallway and staring out the window, I heard a voice behind me. Turning around, there was a male student with a crewcut. He was in my class and the basketball club– the one I bumped into the other day… His name was Kawauchi-kun, I believe.

“What’s wrong?”

“No, it’s just that I accidentally broke your pencil case when I ran into you the other day. So I wanted to ask what you like so I can buy you a new one…”

Kawauchi-kun looked apologetic. I shook my head.

“Don’t worry. I actually have a new one, so it’s okay.”

“Um… Oh, then let me pay you back!”

“No, don’t worry about it. I was also careless, so it wasn’t just your fault. I’m just glad that neither of us got hurt.”

He muttered a, “but…” and didn’t seem satisfied. But after repeating the exchange, he eventually nodded.

“Sorry. I meant to talk to you right away, but there was stuff like the basketball club suspension that I was busy with…”

“Basketball club suspension? Why?”

“Apparently there were some pictures of the upperclassmen drinking in the club room… Both the advisor and the principal were mad, so even though us first years had nothing to do with it, all our club activities got suspended. Just when I thought we were going to make it to nationals for the first time…”

“That sounds… horrible.”

This high school was new, but I heard before I enrolled that they put a lot of effort into hiring a good athletic coach… I didn’t know much about Kawauchi-kun, but I was sure he was an amazing player, since he was able to compete as a first year.

“I really am sorry.”

“It’s okay. Well then, bye.”

I went to leave Kawauchi-kun, but he tilted his head in confusion.

“Wait, where are you going, Igarashi? The classroom and cafeteria are the other way…”

“Yeah. I just have a few errands.”

“I see.”

Kawauchi-kun was a boy, but if I told him I was going to eat with Hino-kun and the word got out to everyone, then I wouldn’t be able to enjoy a leisurely lunch with him anymore.

I ran from Kawauchi-kun’s suspecting gaze and hurried towards the classroom to wait for Hino-kun.

◇

I entered the empty classroom to wait for Hino-kun, holding two bento boxes like usual. He arrived shortly afterwards.

“Ah…”

When he tried to speak and come near me, he stumbled and lost his balance. I ran up to him and supported his shoulder.

“O-oh, sorry. I was just too hungry… Haha.”

Hino-kun weakly laughed. He also looked terribly pale. His breathing was shallow, and even his eyes looked hollow. It didn’t feel like he had a fever or needed more sleep, but that just made me more nervous.

“You’re not… okay, are you…? If you’re feeling bad, should we go to the nurse’s office?”

“Oh no, that’s not it. I don’t have a cold or anything. It really is just hunger…”

I supported Hino-kun and his heavy gait to his chair where he sat down. His expression loosened after seeing the wrapped lunch on the desk, but I wasn’t happy at all. Because he wasn’t okay at all. He shouldn’t be that pale if he was just hungry.

“Hino-kun, let’s go to the nurse’s office… No, it would probably be best if you went home early today.”

“It’s okay, I don’t have a cold.”

If he didn’t have a cold, did that mean he had a different disease…? Could it be that Hino-kun was actually really sick–?

He shook his head at my anxious expression and muttered while looking down, “Actually, I haven’t been eating dinner lately.”

“Because you’re busy with work…? Or because you can’t eat because you’re not feeling well…?”

“No.”

He denied it strongly, but I just couldn’t put it together. I silently waited for him to continue and after a long silence, he finally opened his mouth and started talking in a quivering voice.

“…I told you I used a home delivery service… right?”

“Yes.”

“…An employee from that store took photographs of my room.”

“B-by photographs, you mean without your permission?”

“Yeah. …He was an older man so it was my fault for not being cautious, but he showed his daughter pictures of me in casual clothes and… Well, she uploaded them on various sites on the internet…”

Hino-kun looked like he was having a hard time speaking as he said that. I had no idea how to respond.

He was always surrounded by girls around his age. So he knew to be cautious around them, but it was true that the family of his fans would also be interested in him. But for someone older than him, not even among those his age group that constantly surrounded him, to do something so horrible must have been painful. I didn’t want to think about it.

But, they did do something terrible to him.

“In the end, I heard his daughter wanted to be with me, and I felt like she was doing something… putting something… in the delivery… Since then, it’s been hard for me to bring in food to work. I’ve been remembering things from eating out and I can’t stop wondering if something was put in my food, so I end up putting everything I try to buy back…”

The employee from the delivery service was taking secret photographs. That must have been terrifying. That must have been the reason why Hino-kun was so pale.

“Hey, Hino-kun…? Could it be that lately, the only meal you’ve been eating has been lunch…?”

“Well… It’s okay at work because I’m careful, but I just feel so relieved when I see you. Sorry. I thought about using a different service, but it’s hard for me to even make eye contact with the store employees… I just can’t do it anymore.”

They betrayed his trust. They put bad things in his food.

It’s never happened to me, but I could imagine it. I imagined it to be very painful, but it was probably less than a hundredth of what Hino-kun must feel. I wanted to do something. I wanted to help him somehow.

“…Should I make you dinner too…?”

“Huh…?”

“If you’re okay with it, I would like to make your dinner too, Hino-kun.”

Hino-kun has been eating lunch – so that meant he could eat what I made. Then it should be fine if I made his dinner too. That way he wouldn’t have to remember painful things.

I liked making food for him. But more than that, I was worried about him. I would hate to just silently watch as he suffered like this.

“But I don’t want to burden you…”

“I never have any plans after school, so it’s fine. I don’t have any club activities either. And I can just make it with my dinner.”

I smiled at Hino-kun, but he just looked down with an apologetic look. His shoulders were shaking so perhaps it was painful.

“Plus, you give me too much money anyways! Actually, you should reduce it. There’s too much.”

“…Then, is it okay if I pay for your food expenses, electricity bill, water bill, and miscellaneous expenses?”

“Eh…?”

Hino-kun looked up quickly. There was none of the weakness from before, but instead a look of mad passion in his eyes.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. You’ve used ingredients that were already in your house, like things you bought in bulk or seasonings. And that’s just ingredients. Don’t you also use water for cooking? I didn’t even pay for your paper toweling you use for cleaning, right? And yet I am still eating the food you made for me. Not just in good faith, but I am also physically devouring it. I’m just casually ignoring what I should be paying you.”

“Eh, no, that’s not it. You’re not ignoring payments, Hino-kun. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. I’m a thief, Igarashi-san. A thief. I’m stealing money from your everyday life. I’m a pest that leeches off of you because you said you liked cooking.”

“Saying you’re a t-thief or a p-pest is too outlandish. I don’t think that at all. C-calm down, Hino-kun. Just wait.”

I spoke strongly. But he seemed to be serious and began speaking in a fast, upset tone.

“I won’t wait. If we leave things ambiguous now, that would mean more decisions in the future. We have to decide things now. You would hate having to report to me everywhere you went and bought, right? I think it would be fine but, wouldn’t it be a hassle to give me receipts every time you went shopping? I don’t even come to school every day.”

“But I just go to the supermarket, there’s no transportation costs…”

“That’s how it is now, but you don’t know about the future. Right?”

“No, that would be too much of a burden to you, Hino-kun. And the money…”

“What’s burdensome is this current arrangement. I feel so sorry that I can’t even look you in the eye.”

I felt tense, as if my heart had been grabbed. Our current arrangement was a burden to Hino-kun…? But if he started paying for my living expenses, that would also be a burden to him… I looked at him, and this time he was looking at me pensively. As he gazed at me, it became unclear what the correct answer should be.

“Is that a no, Igarashi-san?”

“It’s not about… yes or no… I think that you should pay me less money, I–”

“That’s impossible. I want you to keep cooking me meals always, so I won’t budge on the money I pay you. You’re thinking about my menu and other things for me everyday. I’ll give you money for next time then.”

“No, wait. I’ll bring a receipt so can we decide after you see it?”

I remembered the amount of money Hino-kun handed me in those envelopes before. I didn’t know how much money he would try to give me this time. He will have to calculate it based off the receipt I show him.

“Got it. Then be sure to bring your receipt for the electricity bill next time.”

“O-okay…”

“Thanks, Igarashi-san.”

Hino-kun looked completely better, no unhealthiness from before to be seen, and began smiling peacefully. I was glad that he seemed well. But for some reason, I couldn’t rid myself of this uneasy feeling…

“Sorry for it being so sudden, but can I eat your bento now?”

“Y-yeah. Of course. Go ahead.”

Hino-kun unwrapped the bento and clapped his hands together. I also unwrapped mine and brought my hands together like him.

“Thank you for the meal,” we said in unison, and he grabbed his chopsticks in delight. Despite feeling anxious, just watching his expression as he worried about what to eat first warmed my heart.

In any case, starting tomorrow, I would also make him nutritional and delicious dinners as well.

I grabbed my chopsticks and strongly swore that in my heart as I watched him eat his bento.

◇

After we finished eating and as I was getting ready to leave the classroom, I saw Hino-kun staring out of the window. He looked bright in contrast to the dull, gray paint-like color outside.

“…What is it?”

“I was thinking about how much I’m looking forward to summer this year.”

Following Hino-kun’s line of sight, I could see the hydrangeas blooming outside. It was already the rainy season. When I stared at his profile, seemingly fascinated by something, I felt uneasy for some unknown reason.

◇

The next morning, I quickly entered the kitchen. His dinner tomorrow will be keema curry. In front of me was a small pot of golden, clear consomme soup.

I made it by melting solid consomme and adding ginger to taste. I froze it with an ice machine and kept it stocked in freezer bags. That way I could chill it and use it straight from the freezer, which was perfect for seasoning. I turned on the stove after putting in the ground meat.

After I mixed it with a wooden spatula until the pot lost most of its liquid, the plump minced meat floated up. Stir-frying with vegetables to make soboro was fine, but doing it this way will season the meat and make it more moist. When I saw that there was no more liquid in the pan, I turned off the heat and scooped out the contents from the pan.

Next, I added oil to the frying pan and fried the chopped onions, carrots, eggplants and peppers until they had a savory aroma.

When the vegetables were soft, I mixed in curry powder, white sauce, ketchup, and finally soy sauce. The heat began to affect the curry powder and the unique scent of spices drifted from the frying pan. Finally, I added in the consomme soboro I made earlier, added a drop of butter, stirred quickly, and I was finished.

Suppressing my desire to eat it right away, I transferred the keema curry to a shallow tray and washed the frying pan.

This time I started frying the chopped tomatoes. I slowly boiled out the water from the tomatoes and when I could smell it, I added a beaten egg and fried it for a while, completing the tomato fried egg. It is said that bentos looked most delicious when filled with reds, yellows and greens, but just the red and yellow ones were also good. All I had to do was add a salad and it would be perfect.

Even if you ate the fried egg with the keema curry, the spicy taste of the curry blends deliciously with the gentle taste of the egg. Or you could eat them separately. They went well with a bitter salad, too.

I didn’t mix the eggs and the curry so he could choose how he wanted to eat it.

After that, I added a Caesar salad-style coleslaw and finished Hino-kun’s dinner. The coleslaw was seasoned with yuzu and a little bit of mustard and ginger powder instead of mayonnaise and lemon. Because it wouldn’t be eaten for a while, I used a lot of vinegar.

I placed slightly hard rice, the tomato fried eggs, and then the keema curry and sprinkled a little parsley for color in a disposable lunch box. I placed the coleslaw in a different plastic container so it didn’t mix with the curry, and I was finished.

The leftover serving of curry and salad would be my dinner for tonight.

I placed our dinners in the fridge. The thought our dinners were the same gave me some sort of strange, deep feeling.

“…I shouldn’t be thinking that this makes me happy. It’s inappropriate and will trouble Hino-kun.”

I cut off my feelings by slapping my cheeks. I should get ready to go to school. The lunch bentos were already in my bag. Since dinner was western-style, I made lunch Japanese-style.

Rice cooked with tuna and carrots. Grilled salmon miso. Dashi rolls with white sesame. Boiled chikuzenni. Japanese mustard spinach. And fried tofu with ponzu sauce.

For the rice, I cooked rice, tuna, shredded carrot, and chopped kombu in a fragrant kombu soup stock. For the salmon, I dipped it in white miso paste, mixed in mirin and honey and baked it slowly so it was fluffy and slightly sweet. It went well with the rice.

I added white sesame seeds to the usual dashi rolls. Since I knew from watching Hino-kun that he liked sour stew more than sweet, I packed in more boiled chikuzenni. And since he said he liked lotus roots, I added more lotus roots. I wasn’t sure whether to use a dressing or not, but in the end, I decided to chop up shiso and make my own,

I made lunch and dinner with as many vegetables as possible so it would be hearty.

I would be happy if he thought it was delicious today too…

I stared at the lunch box as if to pray, and then left the kitchen to go to school.

◇

I walked to my classroom while passing by athletic club members on their way to morning practice. I thought I would be delayed because of the time it took me to make Hino-kun’s dinner, but that didn’t seem to be the case.

Maybe it was because I had finished the items that would last longer and not get damaged easily early, and had finished preparing some last night.

The baseball club was playing on the field, as if rejoicing from a break from the rainy season. The hallways were filled with the sounds of yelling. It was the same old school scene during the same old school time.

I walked up the stairs while listening to the wind instrument club practice, when suddenly I could see Sasaki-san’s profile on the landing above. For some reason, my feet stopped moving and the name she mentioned sent my heart racing.

“Hino-kun, I made you a muffin. You said it was delicious last time, so I would be happy… if you could accept it?”

Even from far away, I could see that Sasaki-san’s lips were curved in a beautiful arc. There was a muffin in her hands and I could tell that she was giving it to Hino-kun.

What kind of expression did Hino-kun have? I was curious about his expression, but I couldn’t see it from where I was standing.

Will Hino-kun eat the muffin? He did accept the muffin Sasaki-san said she made before. He refused everyone, but made an exception for her. He found out later that I made it, but he probably ate it because he thought Sasaki-san made it.

So it wouldn’t be strange if Hino-kun ate the muffin she was offering him now. He seemed to have a trauma about handmade goods, but food from her should be fine.

It should have been a good thing, but… For some reason, my heart wouldn’t calm. I didn’t want to hear Hino-kun’s response. I didn’t know what to do and felt attacked by emotions I couldn’t understand.

“Sorry. My agency says I can’t accept that.”

As I stared down at my shoes, I could hear Hino-kun’s terribly cold voice echo. Just a second later, I could hear Sasaki-san’s confused voice too.

“But, you accepted it before.”

“That was an exception. It was made with school-bought ingredients.”

“D-do you think I added something strange to this…?”

“No, it’s not that I don’t trust you. I just try not to eat anything that isn’t made on the spot. I know you don’t have any evil intent, but there’s still a possibility that something happened on the way to school, right? Don’t you commute to school by bus, Sasaki-san?”

“Y-yeah. You remembered… B-but, I…”

“You can’t be one-hundred percent certain that nothing happened while you were riding the bus, right? I don’t actually work alone. Without my self management, we would have to stop shooting. I’m sorry. I don’t want to betray everyone’s expectations.”

“I… I understand.”

“Then I’ll see you in the classroom.”

The sound of Hino-kun’s footsteps grew far. I looked at Sasaki-san’s profile in front of me. She looked like she was going to cry. It would be awkward to pass by in front of her, so I turned around and headed down the stairs when my phone started vibrating.

I hurriedly checked the screen to see a message from Hino-kun.

“Are you already at school? I’m excited for lunch and can’t wait”

“I want to eat already(??´・ω・`)????”

“Somehow I’m super hungry”

“Don’t hate me”

And then he send a soft penguin stamp.

Nothing happy happened. Yet I felt a tremendous sense of relief and traced the stamp of a penguin bowing towards me.

◇

“Sorry for making you wait, Hino-kun.”

I entered the empty classroom like usual during lunch break to see Hino-kun already sitting in a chair staring at his phone. Once he realized I was here, his serious expression instantly changed into an excited one.

“Welcome, Igarashi-san. Thank you today as well!”

“You’re welcome. Um, there are Japanese-style bentos for lunch today, and dinner is keema curry and coleslaw.”

“Curry!? I love curry. I’m so happy.”

“I also packed in a lot of stewed food for lunch since you eat it a lot.”

I held out his bento and sat down, but I didn’t get the response I thought I would.

Why? Usually with stewed foods, it would be normal for him to ask me questions about it in quick succession.

When I looked up, he wasn’t opening his bento like usual, but instead he was staring at me.

“Um? Did you not like stewed foods…? Sorry, did I get it wrong?”

“No… I do like them, but I was wondering why you knew that.”

“Well, I could kind of tell from watching you…”

“Watching me?” He asked and my cheeks got warm. Oh no. Doesn’t that make it sound like I’m always watching Hino-kun?

“I’m sorry for… that.”

“No, you don’t need to apologize. It was just surprising, or more like, I was happy because it exceeded my expectations.”

“Your expectations?”

“No, let’s set this conversation aside… Let’s eat?”

“O-of course.”

I nodded and Hino-kun clapped his hands together with a wide smile, saying, “Thank you for the meal.” I also clapped my hands together as if to chase after him and opened my bento. After a moment of excitement on what to start with, he seemed to set his sights on the stewed food.

“Delish… This flavor is so perfect… You added in a lot of lotus root.”

“Yes.”

“Your meals really are delicious, Igarashi-san… I’m in love.”

Seeing him stuffing his cheeks in delight steadily brought my mood up. I also grabbed my chopsticks to eat the chikuzenni when he looked up at me with a, “Hey…”

“…Were you thinking of me when you cooked this?”

My chopsticks stopped at the words he threw out. The carrot my chopsticks were holding miraculously landed in my bento box on top of the eggs.

“E-eh?”

“You said you added the stewed foods for my sake, right?”

Hino-kun’s gaze was strangely charming and bad for my heart. I nodded, hands shaking and body temperature steadily going up. He narrowed his eyes.

Compared to his popular, refreshing smile I saw on the TV last night, right now he seemed to somehow lack energy.

“That makes me happy. Lately, whenever I see cuisine for photoshoots and whatnot, I’ve been thinking about you.”

“About me?”

“Yeah. Like how much I want to eat your cooking… I like your cooking, Igarashi-san. It’s somehow very calming, like losing all the tenseness in my body.”

“Thank you…”

Hino-kun’s words resonated, sinking deeply into my heart. He continued stuffing his cheeks while talking about how delicious it was, without showing any indication that he knew I was watching him.

I always wanted to see that expression.

If possible, forever.

As a lukewarm breeze flew in from the window, I wished for something impossible.

Previous chapter – TOC – Next chapter