Chapter 7

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Series: A Love That Lurks at the Dining Table

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My plan for Mizuka to make me lunch and for us to eat together was a success. But because Sasaki took Mizuka’s muffin during cooking class and gave it to me, she’s been making contact with me more often. It couldn’t be helped. That was a necessary sacrifice.

In any case, Mizuka believed me so much that it made me nervous. She didn’t seem to notice the app I put on her phone to monitor her messages and gave me her contact information easily. Actually, I was worried that she was too good for my agency. But we were able to eat lunch together with just the two of us and it’s no longer unusual for me to rely on her. We even went shopping together.

Now it wouldn’t be strange for her to see mugs of her favorite colors at my house. It’s much more natural for her to accept that I bought the tableware as a spare instead of buying them for us two at the beginning. It’s been two weeks since Mizuka decided to continue making me bentos. It was about time for the next part of my plan.

“Oops…”

“Are you okay, Yousuke?”

“Lack of sleep?”

“Do you need someone to talk to?”

I entered the classroom in the morning and pretended to stagger while placing my bag on my desk. The girls around me immediately spoke up. When I held my hand up to everyone trying to cling to me and said I was okay, I could see Mizuka looking over anxiously from her seat near the window.

So no one hurt Mizuka out of jealousy, I never spoke to her in the classroom… or rather, I wouldn’t unless we were alone. I couldn’t. But this sense of distance was convenient.

“I actually haven’t been sleeping much lately… Haha.”

I made an excuse to the girls surrounding me and lightly laughed. This way, I could gradually show Mizuka that I wasn’t well and make her believe that something happened. She was kind so she would definitely be worried.

I would slowly, deliberately, plant seeds of anxiety, and when they were on the verge of flowering, I would tell her that my night delivery driver took secret photographs of myself. Then she would surely come to make dinner for me. She was well aware that food went bad easily in the summer. I would be able to casually invite her to my house.

“From work? Have you been busy shooting for the drama?”

“Oh, that’s right. Doesn’t it have a kiss scene?”

“Well, yeah. I’m busy but it’s fulfilling. I have to do it properly.”

“Eh, if you have any problems, feel free to tell us, okay?”

Drama. Kiss scene. Shooting was at the end of the summer. It will be the first time I’ve touched another person, so I would like it to be Mizuka instead. I wanted to get a prescription for sleeping pills by pretending to not be well, and I planned on using it on her so I could give her all my firsts. For that sake, I needed to pretend to be a sick Hino Yousuke.

“Morning, Igarashi.”

The moment I pressed a hand to my forehead to pretend to have a headache as well, I heard a jarring voice. It was the man sitting in the seat next to Mizuka – Kawauchi. The annoying guy that trampled on Mizuka’s pencil case the other day. I looked at them while saying, “My head hurts a bit,” but Mizuka was staring at Kawauchi instead of me.

“Good morning, Kawauchi-kun.”

“Hey, are the handouts from yesterday’s science class due today or tomorrow? If it’s today, can I take a look at yours?”

“It is today and sure.”

Mizuka handed her handouts over to Kawauchi without hesitation. It wasn’t that he was absent, he was just sleeping in class. It was irritating to watch her efforts be abused.

“You seriously don’t look good, Yousuke. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I was just thinking that I forgot my homework.”

“I can show you mine.”

“Nah. Sorry, I need to go to the restroom.”

Why should I have to apologize? I left the somewhat suffocating classroom. Even though the girls resembled ants swarming sugar, obviously they couldn’t follow me into the restroom. As I walked down the hallway with the blue sky on my side, Maki came from the other direction with a dazed look on his face and earbuds in.

“Igarashi is going to the science prep room today because of day duty. Alone.”

I paused in response to the words he muttered while we passed each other. I turned around, but Maki didn’t stop walking as he leisurely made his way into the classroom. It was true that Mizuka was on day duty today. Maki was currently talking with Sonomura. But since he mentioned her name, I had to go there.

There was a possibility that Sonomura ordered him to say that, but it was obvious that she liked Maki so I doubted that she was trying to lure me there.

I turned away from the restroom and made my way to the science prep room, moving to hide in the shadows. While I waited by the dusty and dark emergency exit, Mizuka rushed in just like Maki said she would. Eventually she walked back out with a single printout in her hands.

“Igarashi-san.”

“Aah, Hino-kun!”

Mizuka seemed to be surprised to see me. The way she blinked and jumped was so cute that I felt like I was going crazy.

“Sorry for scaring you. Is that printout for class today?”

“Yeah. I’m on day duty so I came to prepare the classroom, but it turns out that today will just be a self-study.”

The printout she showed me said the equipment hadn’t arrived yet so it would just be a self-study. I hated classroom lessons because Kawauchi would ask Mizuka questions and ask to look at her textbook. I clenched my teeth to stop from clicking my tongue and Mizuka looked at me uneasily.

“Are you not feeling well, Hino-kun…? Everyone else was also worried about you…”

“It’s nothing.”

What I liked about Mizuka was that she didn’t offer to listen to me lightly. When I acted like I was in pain, she hesitated to step it. She probably wouldn’t give me any guidance on what to do even if I asked her to.

“I wonder if everyone is actually worried about me.”

“Eh…?”

“They look like they’re worried about me, but I wonder if they think it serves me right.”

I used an emotional, sad tone. I slowly turned my gaze to the window and looked down on the schoolyard.

“I wonder if they’re hoping I would die.”

The next moment, I felt someone grab my arm. Surprised by the momentum, I turned around to see Mizuka glaring at me with a serious expression while gripping my arm tightly.

“Wha…”

“Oh, s-sorry, Hino-kun. Oh no, sorry, did that hurt…? What should I do? Will that affect your photoshoot…? L-like a bruise?”

She immediately released my arm and started flailing her hands about, muttering about what she should do and getting ice. Even though I smiled to show I was okay, she just paled.

“I’m really sorry… I’ll go get a compress from the nurse’s office right…”

“It’s okay. Look, I don’t have any bruises at all. I’m not hurt in the slightest.”

I wondered if I could make Mizuka marry me to take responsibility if I really was hurt. To compensate for it. But then she would be consumed with guilt from having hurt a model, not me. She looked at me in confusion when I smiled.

“You’re not strong enough to hurt me anyways, Igarashi-san.”

“T-that’s not true. Just now, I was squeezing without thinking–”

Without thinking. I latched onto those words. So she grabbed my arm without thinking just now? She cared that much about me, but was too cowardly, so she couldn’t say much.

“Unintentionally or otherwise, it’s all fine. More importantly, shouldn’t we go back to the classroom before we’re late for class?”

“Oh… Um… I-I’m really sorry Hino-kun. Please tell me if it leaves any marks. See you!”

Mizuka glanced at the clock and chose to go back to the classroom. I listened to her retreating footsteps and watched until I could no longer see her. When she was finally gone, I looked at my arm.

The arm she grabbed throbbed like my heart. It felt more… definitive than just being touched by the person I liked. I traced where she grabbed me, my chest feeling overfull.

“I like… No, I like her, but…”

I felt like there was something else… Haunted by a mysterious feeling, I went back to the classroom.

◇

When I returned to the classroom, Maki was lying down near Kawauchi’s seat. It looked like he fell over and couldn’t move. Sonomura was panicking and the teacher seemed to have brought in a stretcher. Mizuka, who returned earlier, calmly held her cell phone in one hand while saying, “It’s best not to move him…!”

I was still wondering why Maki spoke to me before, but I joined the people surrounding him to fit in.

◇

Mizuka decided to make my dinners due to my influence. I would wait a little bit before I asked her to come to my house. There was a bit of trouble with Sasaki trying to give me a handmade muffin even though she stole the first one, but I dealt with it. I sent Mizuka some message stamps in a good mood.

I waited for Mizuka in the empty classroom while looking through our message history. She appeared right when I was about to send her a penguin mascot stamp I bought.

“Sorry for making you wait, Hino-kun.”

“Welcome, Igarashi-san. Thanks again!” I said with a bright tone and a smile. But I didn’t think it was very effective on Mizuka. She began explaining the meals as she took out both of our bentos from her large lunch box. I loved this time. Because I could clearly see that she spent her time thinking about me.

As Mizuka said, the lunch today was Japanese-style and the wood grain bento box was packed with eggs, stewed dishes, and salmon. I used to only think that rice mixed with ingredients was just for efficiency, but I felt different when I saw her rice mixed with tuna and carrots.

But today was slightly different. Normally, the ingredients Mizuka added were well balanced. I didn’t really care what was in it as long as it was made by her, but I was worried that something may have happened.

“I also packed in a lot of stewed food for lunch since you eat it a lot.”

I gasped at her words. I did say that I liked lotus root because Mizuka put it in the lunch before. And she remembered that? Plus, saying that I ate stewed dishes a lot…? I never really consciously tried eating something before so I didn’t really know, but thinking back, that might have been the case.

Mizuka must be watching me quite a bit.

“…Were you thinking of me when you cooked this?”

“E-eh?”

“You said you added the stewed foods for my sake, right?”

“Y-yeah.”

“That makes me happy. Lately, whenever I see cuisine for photoshoots and whatnot, I’ve been thinking about you.”

“About me?”

“Yeah. Like how much I want to eat your cooking… I like your cooking, Igarashi-san. It’s somehow very calming, like losing all the tenseness in my body.”

“Thank you…”

The way she was acting, I thought that she was just being good and kind, or at worst, just feeding an abandoned dog or being seen as a lifesaver. But I might be able to get her sooner than I expected.

“I’m glad I can make your lunches…”

“…What?”

“Because, it makes me so happy to see you eat my cooking like it’s truly delicious. Besides, I’ve been wondering what to do lately because you seemed to be in so much pain.”

“Igarashi-san…”

After seeing Mizuka’s heartbroken reaction to my lie, the arm she gripped the other day went numb. I curled my fist to regain normal feeling and saw her looking straight at me. The way she looked at me was completely different than ever before. It made me feel like my heart was getting ripped out.

“Hino-kun.”

“…What?”

“I’ll work hard so you can get a lot of nutrition. So, um… I can’t really say it well and I might trouble you, but… I-I will do my best!”

Mizuka pursed her lips together and nodded. Her tearful, soft gaze took my breath away. The noises in the hallway, the voices of the male students in the schoolyard, everything except her voice felt far, far away. I felt as if she were talking straight into my ear.

“Err, I’m sorry for saying that so suddenly.”

“It’s fine. Thank you for always making me bentos.”

I spit out the words that I always said after eating. But I couldn’t tell if I was smiling correctly. Was I making a weird face at Mizuka right now? Did I look strange? I thought I was acting weird, but she didn’t seem to notice.

I was lying to Mizuka. I didn’t feel guilty about it. Because I wanted her. I would do anything to get her. But…

My chest felt like it was oozing out.

Before now, I always wanted to burn Mizuka’s face into my eyes. I always wanted to see me reflected in her eyes. And yet, I turned away from her and looked at the scattered hydrangeas blooming outside of the window.

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