25 - Originally the cold and warmth of the world were experienced alone

“RongRong……”

“Yanling……”

The two spoke at the same time, then smiled.

Zhou Yanling said: “You first.”

Wu Fengrong took his hand and pulled him to stand up: “I want to take you to a certain place.”

Zhou Yanling followed a step or two behind him as they walked to the front of the car. As they were halfway there, he realized that this was the way to the boiler room. The boiler room operator saw the conductor coming and greeted him warmly. Wu Fengrong dismissed him, closed the door, and indicated to Zhou Yanling that he could stand where ever he pleased.

None of the train cars were exactly spacious, but the boiler room car was especially narrow. Next to the furnace was a pile of coal with fragments of coal strewn about, making it hard to tell what the original color of the floor was. The soles of their shoes immediately ended up covered in an incredibly thick later of coal dust.

The temperature here was naturally quite high, and closing the door was the equivalent increasing the temperature. The heat was enough to make people sweat. Shortly after, Wu Fengrong took off his coat and hung it on the door knob, then picked up a shovel, gathered some coal and stoked the furnace. His movements were so skillful that he was sure to have done this job before. The boiler room was used to heat the water and supplied all the potable water to the train. It wasn’t an easy job, and Wu Fengrong’s train was one of the northern-most lines. The weather was cold, and the need for hot water great. If the hot water supply didn’t meet demand, the passengers would be in a mood. The boiler workers would need to work almost continuously and, as one can well imagine, they were under a great deal of work pressure.

“Back when I had only just started on the train, the old conductor arranged to have a shift to help new people acclimate by having them work in the boiler room for three months. You must not underestimate this furnace. In order to supply water for ten cars, it works continuously from early morning to night without stop. Besides from heating water, the worker also delivers water seven times a day on average. There was a small cart that I had to push that could hold four large kettles. It took three trips to fill ten cars. Three sevens are twenty-one 1 and altogether it took twenty-one trips. Using the current measures of distance, everyday I probably walked five kilometers.”

Wu Fengrong opened the door to feed the furnace. As he faced into the red flames, his face was bathed in gold from the fire.

“Still, I’m very fond of this job. When I first came to the north, I didn’t know anyone and I wasn’t used to the climate. And the old conductor saw that I wasn’t fond of being in the middle of a crowd of people. This job is an independent one that offers very few instances of working alongside others. You basically work alone, so it’s especially suited for newcomers who still need to get used to their surroundings. It’s the reason why I’m so thankful to the old conductor who gave me three months to quietly and calmly adapt to this train, the environment and the people around me. By the time my shift had finished, I had already learned all the nooks and crannies in this train and had thoroughly learned all the shifts by heart. Tired is tired, but it was worth it.”

Zhou Yanling took the shovel from his hands. Even after only stoking the fire twice, his hands were already painted black. Wu Fengrong, laughing gently, wiped his hands on his clothes dirtying his neat sweater and leaving a lovely palm print on his neck. Zhou Yanling neither dodged nor became angry. He let him play and joke around before embracing him around his waist. The room suddenly felt as though it had become more narrow. The two stood, pressed snugly together with no room for a third person. Wu Fengrong placed his hand to his chest where, because of the hard work he’d just done, he could feel his pulse beat quickly as he rubbed his fingers to warm them.

“It’s warm here. Isn’t it better than inside the toilet?” Wu Fengrong said.

Zhou Yanling thought he must have misunderstood and said with a smile: “Whatever you want to say, speak frankly.”

Wu Fengrong asked, rhetorically: “Why do you think I brought you here?”

Zhou Yanling wasn’t sure he understood. Between them, they could speak plainly. There was no need for word games and subtlety.

After listening for a bit, Wu Fengrong whispered: “You have also suffered. Even with the whirling icy breeze 2 you’re not blown away. Not too old and in good health, it’s not difficult for you to resist disaster. But when it comes to the heart people want to stay in a nice and warm place, not experience hardships. No one wants live off the cold northwest wind in a toilet 3 . If the two of us are together, I can’t guarantee that there will be no cold, but I can guarantee that all my good days will also be your good days. I’m not looking for more. Together, we can make each day warm.”

The boiler room was the hottest place on the train. Last time, the two of them were in the toilet, which was, in fact, the coldest place on the train. Originally the cold and warmth of the world were experienced alone, but now, together they tasted the cold and warmth. This they understood implicitly.

At his words, Zhou Yanling felt a burst of dizziness as great grief and exultation both bubbled up in his heart. In fact their fooling around in the toilet had meant nothing to him. In those days, when fighting at the border, let alone talking about playing around but even when wading through rivers and climbing mountains he’d had to endure under the knowledge that death might come at any moment via a bullet through the back. In the old forests what hadn’t he experienced? After being discharged from service he couldn’t find work anywhere and was so poor that some days he only had a few steamed buns to eat. The work he’d found had also been dangerous. He’d met with misfortune in the alleys, knives slashing at him from all sides. For more than ten years, he’d grit his teeth in order to endure such suffering. He’d endured so much hardship that, when confronted with the icy breeze on the train, it hadn’t tasted “bitter”. So much hardship that when someone embraced him, he couldn’t respond to that warmth.

Wu Fengrong held him and brought him to the boiler room. With his own hands, he shoveled coal for warmth. Wu Fengrong had also suffered through hard times on his own. Grabbing the shovel he stooped over, stoking the furnace with shovelful after shovelful of coal. He didn’t feel bitter. In his heart was hope and expectation. Hope and expectation for a future together with Zhou Yanling. Initially, he thought of him as a man with a cruel mouth, but he was also capable of speaking such soft and gentle words.

This was Wu Fengrong’s promise to Zhou Yanling: From now on, whether cold or warm, sweet or bitter, he wanted to share it all burdens and responsibilities with him.

Zhou Yanling cupped his face and kissed him: “I still worry that you don’t want to be with me. I can offer no benefits, I have poor character, and I’m not young. While I have no serious illnesses, my small disasters and small aches are endless. It’s best for you not to get involved with me.”

Wu Fengrong returned the kiss: “Where would I find someone better than you? After all this is over, I am going to resign as conductor. Harboring a fugitive; abuse of power; dereliction of duty by my subordinates; passengers, not only missing but also dead……”

“Don’t be so disheartened. It’s not like you.”

“I’m not disheartened. Unexpectedly, I also just don’t want to do it anymore. I’ve run about for ten years, I’m tired of running.”

Zhou Yanling knew he was lying. Wu Fengrong liked the train and liked leading the train. He just didn’t like others thinking of him by the appellation “heroic train conductor”. Others only saw his charisma and his ability to smoothly move with the wind 4 . There was the sense that, if the railway didn’t require him to eagerly display that golden badge, others deeply feared that his glorious achievement would remain unknown. Wu Fengrong’s future was beautiful. A bright future as a living hero of the people.

If Wu Fengrong really fell from his position as conductor because of this matter, others would say that he did this to seek benevolence and virtue 5 . That his success was a heroic dream, and his failure was also a heroic dream. They would say, Wu Fengrong had been a hero for so long that his pride had become so swollen with it that he believed that he’d be able to cover the sky with only hand. That if the police couldn’t catch their man, that only he had the ability to deal with him.

32 years of age was still the prime of one’s life and, for men, the golden stage of career advancement. Saying no to that, repudiating the hard-won foundation and trying to find somewhere to start anew, it would be impossible to know how long it would take to achieve success, if at all. Enduring hardships would be fine, but no one would be willing to endure hardships for nothing. Even worse would be losing an enjoyable career, tossing it aside with a blank and helpless look. Were it not for Zhou Yanling, Wu Fengrong’s heart would be at ease as he smoothly and confidently hid in this snowy forest, engrossed in looking a the mountains and the rivers, listening to the wind and the birds, guarding this train, and living a life removed from worldly affairs.

When all was said and done, the cost born by Wu Fengrong would be too great. Zhou Yanling worked in insurance; the balance was too unreasonable.

“Alright, alright. Don’t say it, don’t say it, okay.” Looking at him, Wu Fengrong felt completely uncomfortable. Zhou Yanling looked at him as though he were beholding a statue of a bodhisattva at a temple: “What are you doing? Don’t look at me like that. Wouldn’t you dislike me running around outside? I’ve decided, isn’t that good? This way the two of us can spend more time together in the future.”

Zhou Yanling fiddled with the hair at his temples: “You should do what you want. Don’t keep thinking about what I want.”

“It’s not just for you. I’ve been thinking about it myself for a while.” Wu Fengrong hooked his chin over his shoulder. He didn’t need to speak loudly as Zhou Yanling was able to hear him: “On one hand, it’s a fact that there’s no room for promotion. I’m not in an administrative track, and I don’t have any connections or backers which would make it very difficult to switch to such a post. Obviously in going for a technology track, it’d take years to gain seniority and then after a few years there’d be no further possibilities for advancement. On the other hand, if I transfer to an office, I’d be sent to write materials and I can’t do that again. So then, what’s the point of still working here? I don’t want to be a government official. Even just thinking about being a government official is of no interest to me. I’d have to declare my assets and be cautious in my private life.”

Zhou Yanling listened to him rant, and burst out laughing. It would be quite difficult for the two of them to exercise caution in their private lives.

In spite of everything, he actually felt incredibly satisfied listening to Wu Fengrong talk like this.

“Then, what do you want to do?”

“I want to see if I can possibly transfer to the station and manage the organization of staff, operations, and so on. I’d like to go to a high-speed rail station. Although the green-skinned trains 6 are sentimental, the high-speed lines are the future. After all, it’s important to keep up with the times and learn new things.”

Zhou Yanling cradled his face and tilted it to the side. Their lips were both a little chapped, and their skin rubbed together uncomfortably as they kissed. The tip of Wu Fengrong’s tongue darted out and licked at Zhou Yanling’s lips. Only once he had moistened them with his tongue did he kiss him. He bit his upper lip, alternating the pressure between heavy and light, and the two rubbed against each other until it wasn’t only their lips that were moist. Their breaths mingled, and both wished that they could merge into one. The pupils of Zhou Yanling’s eyes dilated until they were completely dark, reflecting fragments of the reddish-gold colored flames. It was as though stars, shining clear and crystalline, had been mixed into his eyes.

“Tomorrow when the sun rises early in the morning, RongRong, I will remember you as you are now.” Zhou Yanling said: “Even when we’re older, even as I approach death, I will still remember you as you are now. You will forever be like this in my heart. Forever young, handsome, natural and generous, sexy, forever in your prime.”

Wu Fengrong burrowed under his chin and smiled secretly. After a while he raised his head., not bothering to conceal the mischievous smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“You’re saying that you love me?”

“When I said that I was really going to give you my heart, I was saying that I love you.”

Wu Fengrong bit the top of his earlobe: “You’re this person who still talks as though you’re selling insurance. You’re such a sweet talker you’ll give cavities 7 . I’m not going to lap that up. What’ forever charming and at the prime of my life’, only a long-lived fairy would look like that 8 .”

He spoke as though to himself and laughed. Zhou Yanling began laughing as well.

The car door was closed and the temperature was continuously rising. A layer of sweat beaded their necks as the flames from the furnace bathed him in heat. Wu Fengrong nosed at the collar of his sweater then placed a kiss on his shoulder. Zhou Yanling allowed him to turn him around, carefully supporting him with to keep him from hitting the boiler. With one hand, he drew Wu Fengrong closer until not even a gap remained between them. Wu Fengrong mumbled to himself against his sweater.

“Let’s do it. It’s almost time for bed. No one will come.”

T/N: Woohoo! @lynn’s lion taught me how to make actual footnotes! Thank you to everyone who has been putting up with my terrible ones before!

A pun since 三七二十一 means the facts of the matter, but is also – in this case – referring to the actual number of trips WFG used to make to deliver water. 冷风 : idiom for negative comments spread behind someone’s back; read about it here . 喝西北风 : idiom referring to a life of asceticism practiced in Taoism; in modern terms it means to be poor and hungry; read about it here . ‘smoothly move with the wind’ is a literal translation of 顺风 which can mean having good fortune or having a good journey along with the literal meaning of having a favorable wind. I get the sense that the author might have meant this to be read with multiple meanings. seek benevolence and virtue ( 求仁得仁 ) : it’s tongue in cheek with the meaning that he got what he was asking for; read about it here . referring to the old slow long-distance trains that are slowly being phased out; newer high-speed trains are actually being painted green out of a sense of nostalgia; the Wall Street Journal writes about it here . 酸牙 thank you @daed for the explanation “in this context, 酸牙 is used to say somebody is being mushy or too sweet that you’re getting a cavity”. And again, a thank you to @daed for their translation of this paragraph!