Chapter 46

Translated by boilpoil Edited by boilpoil

While Shi Cangyuan’s retirement was sudden, he did properly go through discharge procedures. He also left only after he ensured the empire would be in a highly advantageous position, therefore it can be said that he owed nothing more to himself.

Nobody could have blamed anything on him even if Shi Cangyuan chose to continue his mundane way of life his whole life.

It is because Bai Lianhua had decided to return now that Shi Cangyuan has chosen to endure this burden too heavy for the common man to bear. This is too unfair for Shi Cangyuan.

Bai Lianhua goes unenergetic. He can’t help but say to the system, “I feel like we might be the villains here.”

He can feel his good conscience aching.

The system tries to make him feel better, “this meant that host, you’re not that much of a scum yet. You’re still a little white flower, and hasn’t become a black-bellied lotus.”

“At the same time though, if you let the antagonist’s emotions weigh on you so, then you can’t complete your mission. They are in conflict, after all.”

“The system would like to remind you once again that barring exceptional circumstances, the missions must be completed. They cannot be abandoned.”

——Also, how do you know that these tragic antagonists do not do so with some ulterior motive behind them?

It was difficult for you who is so repulsed to passionate emotions to feel touched over and over again, you know.

If they wanted to get something, they had to pay something in return.

Sigh. The system also has a difficult stance to maintain.

Even if most of the time the antagonists sure are ineffectual, but when it sees the host’s heartstrings actually tugged at, it feels, emm… uh, indescribable.

It’s kind of both like the anxious mother who’s watching her son failing to appeal to his romantic interest, and like the ageing father feeling conflicted who can only watch as the neighbourhood brat gradually ‘kidnapped’ his dearest pearl on his mind.

Being a system is getting hard these days!

…

As expected, the moment the news of Shi Cangyuan’s reappearance is announced, the empire goes into a frenzy.

Bai Lianhua himself can’t help but be influenced by this atmosphere after he logs onto the celestial Internet. Wherever there are people on the virtual streets, there are people discussing this topic.

Shi Cangyuan’s calming effect is instantaneous. Almost everyone immediate gets energised and starts discussing how brave ‘Dicarus’ was under Shi Cangyuan’s pilotship a few years ago, and how he managed to beat the insectoids forcing them back again and again.

This makes Bai Lianhua even more uncomfortable.

The next day morning, arrangements were made for Bai Lianhua and Shi Cangyuan to board the spaceship headed directly for the base on the frontlines together.

Bai Lianhua does everything as he is told to, more subservient than usual.

When the two are alone, Shi Cangyuan can’t help but ask him, “what’s up?”

“Suddenly going quiet and treating me carefully like I’ve become a fragile cargo.”

Bai Lianhua shakes his head, saying in a quiet voice, “no, nothing.”

Bai Lianhua then blurts out the truth, “… I just feel really sorry for you all of a sudden.”

“… If only I didn’t come back.”

After a moment of silence, Shi Cangyuan says in a serious tone, “no, I’m really glad you’re back. Or what, did you want me to wait fruitlessly for you my whole life?”

Bai Lianhua seems shocked, “then if I never came back…”

Shi Cangyuan follows up, “then I will only feel frustration and resentment. I’ll live more and more deplorably.”

Bai Lianhua can’t find his voice anymore.

Really, if he didn’t appear in this world at all, then Shi Cangyuan’s suicide following his deep psychological burden is clearly the worst outcome there could be.

——These are really all lose-lose scenarios.

Shi Cangyuan sighs lightly, “there’s nothing you should be sorry for… You don’t mean to tell me you’re sorry for curing me?”

It’s just that I have developed unwarranted feelings towards you, that’s all.

It’s because of myself, because I couldn’t be unaffected by your departure… If we only consider the facts, then from the beginning to end, all you did was help me without asking for anything in return. I lost nothing.

Without you, I would only have descended further into the dark abyss… Everything is my own choice, so on what basis could I ever resent you?

Shi Cangyuan admits that he would stop at nothing to keep Bai Lianhua here forever. He manipulated everything to amplify the guilt in Bai Lianhua, but he also doesn’t want him to feel this psychological pressure either.

He can’t bear to watch him so.

Shi Cangyuan says in a gentler tone, “feeling scared because of all the fuss about this?”

Bai Lianhua hesitates a bit before nodding slowly, looking a bit pitiful.

“Don’t worry, I can handle it… Since the moment I fought for ‘Dicarus’s pilotship, I’ve been mentally preparing myself never to let everyone down. Why else could it carry the title the number one mecha?”

“I haven’t even met you back then.”

“Ah, well, you can also bear witness, to see if the me who you’ve saved, is enough to make you proud.”

Shi Cangyuan laughs, “don’t feel burdened. I took this up voluntarily.”

That in exchange you would accompany me through it is already an unexpected benefit.

Bai Lianhua “…”

No, I feel even more guilty when you say that.

…

Arriving at base, he and Shi Cangyuan receives an unexpectedly passionate welcome.

Shi Cangyuan acts decisively and resolutely here, completely unlike when he is alone with him.

After a short handshaking and adjustment period, Shi Cangyuan is again the pilot of ‘Dicarus.’ He quickly gets into the mood and starts learning about the situation on the frontlines.

Not long afterwards, it’s his first sortie.

To boost morale, when facing many insectoids with the other members of his mecha squad, Shi Cangyuan chose one insectoid that has second-evolved as his opponent.

——Before this, no mecha in the entire empire could stand alone against a second-evolved insectoid, and they had to fight many-on-one.

Though even with this tactic they can only force a retreat, and is unable to deal life-threatening wounds to them, not to mention killing them outright.

Therefore it has become an idle rumour that such insectoid elites can only be defeated by the retired God of War Shi Cangyuan.

And Shi Cangyuan, despite his years of rest, does not disappoint anyone. Even when facing such insectoid elites that are exponentially stronger than normal insectoids, he still brings the empire a resounding victory with ‘Dicarus,’ winning such a beautiful battle that it deserves to be visually preserved and analysed from multiple perspectives for many aeons to come.

As one might expect, this video will be sent back to the capital planet and broadcasted on every corner of the empire.

Everyone is cheering for this moment.

Only Bai Lianhua, however, is there to see Shi Cangyuan’s exhausted form in the room at the base after his fight was over.

Shi Cangyuan actually had a hard time during the battle. He couldn’t show it to anyone, however.

When Shi Cangyuan extended his hand to him, Bai Lianhua embraced him.

…

The situation is now reversed. Unlike then, now it is his turn to be in charge of Shi Cangyuan’s daily life.

Though he is easy to care for. A lot of the times Bai Lianhua realises the best he could do is to prepare the nutrient mixture for him beforehand and remind him to consume them according to schedule.

At best he could massage him when he’s at rest and soothe the exhaustion brought about by his body overclocking itself.

Shi Cangyuan might have made him his adjutant properly, but he protects him well in actuality. He’s practically indistinguishable from a support unit.

Bai Lianhua could only try to find himself stuff to do. For example, he taught Shi Cangyuan and others simple, convenient and practical techniques in emergency treatment, or he tried his best to identify useful herbs and plants near the base in order to create pills or infusion packs with special medicinal properties just in case.

——He can’t fight, so he can only help in other ways.

When the situation on the frontlines grow a bit stagnant, Bai Lianhua spent his time, with Shi Cangyuan’s approval, summarising and generalising the research and information on that special operating system Shi Cangyuan designed for him, and tried to further improve it alongside the rest of the technical staff in the base.

Having spent years with the mecha genius Shi Cangyuan, seeing him work for so long, he has also become quite knowledgeable in the theoretical knowledge of mechas. He’s also familiar with how Shi Cangyuan researches and records his findings. When he no longer spouts his ludicrous thoughts he thought up for his character setting, he’s at least passable for a research assistant when it comes to it.

Through this, Shi Cangyuan’s findings are almost implementable immediately.

Since most of the people of the base are unlike him in having such a mismatched physical strength and psychic strength… Those who become mecha pilots never have their corresponding strengths differ by more than three ranks apart.

Thus it reduces the difficulty in generalisation. Parts of Shi Cangyuan’s lines of thought are even usable as-is.

This would quickly raise the combat strength of most mecha pilots that are restrained by their lower levels of strength.

Shi Cangyuan would often joke about how Bai Lianhua ended up being quite the fitting adjutant to bring along… And there’s even the special effect that he would get fully energised if he could quietly stay together with him for a while.

Though Bai Lianhua can’t laugh at his jokes at all… Because Shi Cangyuan is way overdoing it. He’s literally doing his best to become light and heat; in every sortie of his, his readiness to sacrifice himself is evident.

While everyone would feel fired up looking at how strong and unparalleled Shi Cangyuan is on the battlefield, but this also meant that there have now been countless times Shi Cangyuan walked the boundaries between life and death.

Bai Lianhua feels nervous watching over him.

It was when Shi Cangyuan once again rushed back to base in a hurry for a temporary respite that Bai Lianhua couldn’t hold it in anymore and tried to persuade him, “take care of yourself, ok?”

“You’ve done really well already. Don’t force yourself to the limit anymore.”

Shi Cangyuan seems to be surprised and raised his eyebrows, “mm… So I don’t need to do it to this degree?”

“Alright, I understand,” as he is sitting, he raises his head to look at Bai Lianhua, “are you worried about me?”

“… If you could say those words to me directly, I will be really happy.”

There’s an expectation in his expression.

How Shi Cangyuan has reacted has made Bai Lianhua really sad, “yes, I’m worried about you… I also feel really sorry having intervened in your life.”

He suddenly feels like it’s fine even if the mission fails… The system can punish him however it wants.

The system hesitates before telling him with a complicated feeling, “it is true that Shi Cangyuan really did put the battles before his life, but it is also true that by going along with this and emphasising this point in front of you again and again he is morally coercing you…”

Host, are you being silly or just acting dumb? Couldn’t you see through it? If you and Shi Cangyuan were the player and target before, then everything is still the same right now, just that the characters are switched, and the one being targeted here is you instead.

——It really couldn’t hold back and say it.

The system feels a bit guilty, feeling sorry towards the antagonist. He worked so hard but it decided to poke through his deception…

It and the host sure are the one true pairing.

Bai Lianhua decides to ask the system, however, “but… Even if I knew it was the intention, I’d still feel sorry.”

Plus, for all 100% of his acting, at least 90% of it was genuine.

They might both be players, but Bai Lianhua understands clearly the difference between himself and Shi Cangyuan.

What was his price to pay? What was Shi Cangyuan’s price to pay?

Shi Cangyuan smiles and answers, “don’t be sorry… I’m really glad to have you intervene in my life.”

“I like you, so I am willing to live as you would like me to.”

No matter for what purpose you like this form of mine.

Bai Lianhua is stunned. He shakes his head after a while, and has a really unconvincing smile on, “no, I really do like the past Shi Cangyuan…”

“You should live the way you want to live your life.”

Shi Cangyuan’s heart skips a bit.

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