Chapter 4 – The Past (Part 3)

Once the two of them began to live together, the ice between them showed no signs of thawing, instead, their relationship grew even more awkward and uneasy. In fact, many a time did Su Yuan find himself with the feeling that Ning Jun was trying to avoid him.

There was this one time where Ning Jun had been sitting on the sofa before Su Yuan went to take a shower, but the second he finished showering, Ning Jun had suddenly moved to the balcony. He had been eating some cherries, and since they were tasty, he went over to where Ning Jun was to offer him some. Ning Jun merely swept his eyes cooly past him before turning and walking away.

Still, Su Yuan did not give up. When he thought about that night together, and how Ning Jun had acted atop him. How he had seemed like he was fighting to control himself and at the same time how passionate he had been with him…Su Yuan gritted his teeth and used all the tricks and methods he knew of as he tried to tease and seduce Ning Jun. Alas, Ning Jun remained completely unfazed by it all, and in the end, Su Yuan forced himself onto him with a threat.

He pushed Ning Jun’s shoulders onto the sofa, his legs apart as he sat on Ning Jun’s lap and he angrily shouted,

“Aren’t you going to do it? If you don’t, I won’t let you leave.”

Ning Jun would always cave in to his threats, and the two of them would end up together again.

Limbs entangled, bodies close, but hearts so far apart.

Something that Su Yuan liked immensely was Ning Jun’s expression in bed. Seeing it would make him feel like he was the object of deep affection from Ning Jun.

However, Ning Jun himself probably disliked doing these things with Su Yuan, and he would often ridicule him while they were busy in bed.

Su Yuan had quite a lean structure, and although he appeared thin, he did have a fair amount of flesh on him, so he was quite squishy and soft to touch. This was especially true for his butt, generally, it looked quite perky, and it was only when he took his pants off that one could see just how juicily meaty his butt was. Oftentimes, Ning Jun would mercilessly drive into him, at the same time spanking his buttcheeks as he evilly mocked him, “Young Sir Su, it seems like you have a wanton ass.” Su Yuan would be so embarrassed and ashamed by his dirty talk that he would often end up crying halfway, his hands tightly clasped over his mouth as if he were trying to keep quiet, but the endless strokes that bottomed out in him would leave him gasping for air.

There was even this one time where Ning Jun had picked him up, holding his legs open like he was a baby about to pee, and he walked them both to the clear mirror in the house. Ning Jun forced him to look at his reflection as he was penetrated over and over again. The sight and the shame were too much for Su Yuan, and as he cried, he shook his head, his resistance weak as he tried to stop Ning Jun. Instead, with a hoarse voice, Ning Jun had whispered into his ear, “Take a good look at yourself… You’re more wanton than those people selling themselves out on the street.” Instantly, Su Yuan burst into tears, biting into Ning Jun’s arm swallowing back his tears as he stuttered, “No… I… I-don’t… I don’t want to look… Ahhh…” His plea fell on deaf ears as Ning Jun reached up to grasp his chin, preventing him from turning away.

Su Yuan had definitely bitten off more than he could chew at that time, and the experience had been so unforgettably stimulating that he had avoided Ning Jun for a few days after that. All he could think of was the sight of his own reflection in the mirror… Just thinking of it made him feel like scolding himself, he thought he really was too shameless. However, after a few days of rest, his urges were back, and once again he began to approach Ning Jun.

There was also this one time, whereby coincidence, Su Yuan had been watching a television series earlier, and in that episode, the female lead and the male lead had quarreled with each other. All it took for the male lead to give in was the soft coy pleas of the female lead as she called, “Gege”, “Good gege”… The male lead instantly conceded defeat, as he adoringly tapped her forehead saying, “That sweet mouth of yours… Tsk tsk…”

Su Yuan became pensive once he saw this, and one night, when Ning Jun was really drilling into him, in a flash of brilliance he moaned, “Jun Gege…”

Immediately Ning Jun froze, and intense desire pooled in his eyes, the color of which had visibly darkened as he stared at Su Yuan, “What did you just call me?”

Su Yuan thought that it was working, and with a smile to himself, he wrapped his arms around Ning Jun’s neck. He gazed up at Ning Jun with a dazed yet watery gaze, the corners of his eyes were completely red, and the look of sex was obvious on his facial features as he meekly pleaded, “Jun Gege, my gege, can you be gentle…”

Soon after, he noticed a certain something swell up inside him.

It was soon proved that using such a name did not have the intended effect, but instead intensified Ning Jun’s actions.

However, Su Yuan soon noticed that if he called Ning Jun this at other times, Ning Jun was often more amenable to whatever he said, and so Su Yuan held onto this particular nickname.

The two of them were not in the same stream at university. Su Yuan was an undergraduate of Computer Science, while Ning Jun was in Finance. However, that did not stop Su Yuan from latching onto Ning Jun, accompanying him to class and always hanging around near him.

Su Yuan and Ning Jun were both extremely handsome and had brilliant visuals, so it was no surprise that they did have a following at university. Ning Jun had that icy-cool, aloof aura, and many girl-admirers of his never had the courage to approach him head-on. Su Yuan, on the other hand, was the epitome of a gentleman, thus, most girls found it easy to flirt with him, even if he did maintain his distance, he was always exceptionally courteous and never made it awkward for the other person, so gradually Su Yuan’s popularity at university ballooned tremendously.

Su Yuan was always on the lookout for Ning Jun, the words “Jun Gege” never seemed to leave his lips, and his actions were truthfully—quite intimate. They did not seem brotherly together, yet they showed no clear signs of being a couple, so everyone was clueless about the true nature of their relationship. Until one day, someone finally gave in to the temptation and asked about their relationship. Su Yuan had initially wanted to answer “We’re dating”, but a side glance at Ning Jun’s pained expression made him change his mind. He thought to himself, he must not want others to know about my relationship with him, so just before he said the words, he instead replied, “This is my Jun Gege, we’ve known each other since high school.”

Naturally, in his eyes, this reply was vague enough to protect Ning Jun’s face but it also pointed out their shared history together. Although, to his surprise, his answer earned him a steely glare from Ning Jun, who shook off his hand and walked off.

This left Su Yuan utterly speechless and a tad dazed, he was always conscious of Ning Jun’s feelings, and rarely asked Ning Jun to socialize with his own circle of friends, plus being fearful of Ning Jun’s mood, he always tried to hide the fact that they were dating. Personally, he felt that he spent all his heart and mind on Ning Jun, he was so caring and considerate, but Ning Jun did not seem to appreciate it at all. Sometimes, he would have no idea whatsoever as to how he had angered Ning Jun, and what’s more with Ning Jun’s personality, he never talked about anything, so every single encounter would end with Su Yuan giving in.

Back then, Su Yuan had been young and seeing that as a child, he had always been spoiled, his temper truly was not as calm and gentle as it appeared. When Ning Jun was being unreasonable, if he was in a good mood, he would patiently coax and comfort him, but if he was not in a good mood, he would just drop everything and go out to have some fun. Once his mood got better, then he would return to coax and comfort that block of ice.

Looking back on those times, such behavior was no different from how a person treats a pet right?

……

Seated in the front passenger seat, Su Yuan pulled himself out of those memories, and finally registered Ning Jun’s last question of “Two years and those countless things that happened… Do you think a single sorry is enough?”. A somewhat bitter smile crept up on his face as he replied, “I’m sorry… I know that an apology has no use, but I really was too headstrong and reckless back then.”

Ning Jun’s heart skipped a beat.

From the very first second of their meeting here today, Su Yuan had been apologizing. Honestly, he did not like these apologies at all, it almost felt like these apologies were saying that everything that had happened in their past was wrong.

He looked at the road straight ahead and without turning to Su Yuan, he indifferently replied, “There’s no need for you to apologize.”

For Su Yuan, this sounded like Ning Jun did not even care about his guilt. It was like he was saying, what happened already occurred, pain has already been inflicted because of those things… Furthermore, those things happened such a long time ago, there’s no use for this apology…