34 - Worries

Chapter 34 – Worries

“You still have to marry and I still have to take a wife. Instead of letting those above recklessly make marriage arrangements for us, why don’t we make the choice ourselves? Don’t you agree?”

She blinked and stared foolishly at him.

He continued to say. “I am a Third-ranked Officer. My parents had passed on early and I don’t have any sister or sister-in-law at home. I only plan to marry one person and won’t take a concubine. If you marry me, you will be the only one in the rear courtyard and you won’t have any worries about private schemes and struggles. You can live quietly and lead a life in whatever way you wish…….”

His voice was gentle and low with soothing power like a breeze whispering in one’s ear, similar to leaves whirling in the forest.

There were no false words or sweet nothings. The spoken words were all facts like he was analyzing a case that contained temptation, and laying the pros and cons before her.

“If you marry the Ninth Prince, you will only be a concubine and if you marry Pan Gongzi , he can’t protect you. It’s better to choose someone who can protect you and give you the position of the main wife. The advantages are worthwhile for you and won’t be a loss to you.”

He knew she is not a naïve girl nor does she believe in the sweet words of men. If she is to be persuaded, then she must be enticed and be informed about the situation after she is married so that her heart will be stirred.

Shangguan Yan gradually came back to her senses and after listening to him, she did not understand why there was a kind of inexplicable throbbing in her heart. A slight feeling rose in her chest that made it seemed as if her feet were not touching the ground and her whole body felt very light.

“Well…….it sounds……..it seems pretty good…….”

He actually said he wants to marry her?

Strangely, she did not feel repulsive at all and even felt a little moved. She told herself that it was because his analysis was correct, so she did not object.

In this world, probably only the both of them would talk about their marriage as though they were discussing a case and they showed such seriousness that there was no awkward ambiguity usually found between men and women.

“What do you think?” In the end, he still had to wait for her answer. At this crucial moment, his hands were quietly clenched into tight fists.

He seemed to have waited for as long as three lifetimes before she finally spoke.

“What about Consort An? Are you not afraid of her? Even though you’re a Third-ranked Officer but the other parties are still the Prince and the Consort. After slapping the face of the Royal Family, your position as an Officer won’t be good in the future.”

She did not refuse and did not agree either but showed concern for his career. Although she was worried about dragging him down, she did not use this reason to reject him and this point gave hope to Di Jing.

“Just leave this matter to me and let me worry about it.”

He used a cautious tone and a serious attitude to tell her not to worry and leave the matter to him. He did not use too much rhetoric but just a simple promise and every word was as heavy as Mount Tai.

If it was someone else, she might not believe but since it was him, she believed him.

~ If you have difficulties, look for me. No matter who it is, I have my own way to deal with it.

She did not know why but she suddenly remembered the words he spoke to her.

Now at this time, he is still the same…….unchanged.

Suddenly, she understood the reason why she hesitated to move forward with Pan Zeming. Although Pan Zeming was good, he was unable to give her reassurance. On the surface, their marriage plans were put on hold due to the sake of filial piety but in fact, it gave her an excuse to delay. Now that the period of mourning is about to end, her worries had increased. Now this man in front of her had given her a lifetime promise to shelter her from the wind and rain. When she was in her most indecisive time, he offered her a pill of reassurance.

“How?” He asked.

She gathered her thoughts and noticed he was waiting for her reply. She could not help but ask herself…….does she need to voice her agreement? No matter how straightforward and unrestrained she behaves normally, at this time, she could not help but show the shyness of a girl.

He asked her so clearly but how can she be so shameless as to reply ‘yes’? Getting married is an important matter! Generally speaking, a girl’s marriage must always undergo negotiations before it is confirmed, so how can it be settled after a discussion in the carriage? No matter how, she should not agree so easily, right? If she agrees, she will appear to be very cheap!

It is like doing business. A good product always has to be negotiated and then let the buyer wait for a while. When the buyer becomes anxious, then the product will appear more valuable and the buyer will cherish it more, right?

“I don’t believe you have a way to settle this.” She deliberately made things difficult and said.

Upon understanding the meaning of her words, his eyes lit up.

“What if I have?”

“Words are not proof. Show me.” Her tone had regained her playful tone just like when they were bickering.

He looked at her deeply and only said a word. “Alright.”

Hua Qianqian and the others knew about Shangguan Yan’s imprisonment, her release from prison, and helping Lord Di to investigate the case and they had secretly cooperated with her. Although Bai Yuxiao is a secret constable, she could not venture too far away from the mansion and could only provide news about the imperial court. And on the outside, they had to depend on Hua Qianqian and Yeqing to carry out secret investigations and gather clues.

At the same time, they also used pigeons to pass information to Second Senior Sister, Gong Wuhuan in Jiangnan. The power of Second Brother-in-law’s Cao Gang should not be underestimated as they were of great help. The communication between the north and south depended on the letters and news were passed secretly.

This time Hua Qianqian and Yeqing went out to investigate a case again and only returned the next day. When they came back, they learned from Fourth Junior Sister that Eldest Senior Sister was summoned into the palace by Consort An and immediately went to look for Eldest Senior Sister.

Following that, the three sisters held a secret discussion.

Hua Qianqian and Bai Yuxiao both believed that Consort An would not let this matter rest and both of them tried to help Eldest Senior Sister to think of a way to guard against Consort An.

However, when the two people were overcome with anxiety, Shangguan Yan was not anxious at all because since that day Di Jing said that he wanted to marry her, all her thoughts were filled with him.

She also did not understand how the person that she never thought about before suddenly had become a possible marriage partner and that person seemed to have taken root in her mind, making her think of him constantly.

She seemed unable to control her thoughts and the more she thought about it, the more questions came up.

Does he really like her? Why didn’t she ask for more details about this before they skipped to discussing the details of the marriage?

Is it because of loyalty between friends? Just because he wanted to marry and it so happened that she needed to marry, therefore, he chose her? Isn’t this too hasty? Will he have regrets after this?

Her mind has always been agile and she can always see things clearly. But at this time, why can’t she think clearly? She became more confused and started to worry about personal gains and losses. She wanted to ask but dared not because she was afraid of being disappointed when she knows the answer.

What happened to her confident and straightforward personality? That time, when she wanted to marry Pan Zeming, she did not have so many misgivings. Now she is starting to worry, thinking about him day and night. He told her to leave it to him and let him worry about it. Does it mean that he had already thought this through and it was not just a casual decision to marry her?

Shangguan Yan had lived for twenty years and it is only now that she is experiencing the worries of a girl because of love. She could think deeply about a case but could not guess Di Jing’s heart. She was in a state of turmoil and had never felt so troubled over a man before.

She found that she cared very much about his thoughts and cared so much that she was unwilling to see him casually improvise. If that is the case, she would rather not marry. In the end, she could not sit still any longer. Instead of feeling so distressed, she might as well ask him and get a clear answer.

Thus she ran to look for Di Jing but the guard at the Yamen said that he had gone out, so, she waited for him in front of his study. As soon as she heard he was back, she immediately took the initiative to seek him out.

From afar, Di Jing saw Shangguan Yan coming towards him and his clear eyes took in all of her. When he thought he could marry her, he felt very happy but did not dare to express his desire too obviously lest she is scared by him.