Chapter 34

Edited by Erin & genesis

When Lin Yanchen woke up, he found that the sun was already high in the sky. He squinted his eyes and felt beside him. After feeling around the blankets and pillows, he slowly realized that Chu Xun was not there. At first he didn’t mind much. He took the cell phone on the bedside table and looked at the time. To his surprise, it was one o’clock in the afternoon.

He had never slept so late into the day…was he that tired last night?

Had Chu Xun already gotten up? Lin Yanchen sat up, stretched and yawned. Recalling the image of sleepy Chu Xun reclining on the sofa, he laughed foolishly. Chu Xun definitely must love him; seeing him sleep so soundly, he didn’t want to wake him up.

Lin Yanchen called a few times: “Ah Xun… Ah Xun… Ah Xun? “

No one responded. Perhaps he went downstairs?

Lin Yanchen was a little doubtful now, but he went to wash his face, brush his teeth, and comb his hair. When he went to put on his clothes, he saw that Chu Xun’s clothes were still in his wardrobe, as well as Chu Xun’s small bag of things, and the souvenirs they bought when traveling around. He thought that since everything was here, Chu Xun must also still be here.

Lin Yanchen didn’t think too much about it. After cleaning himself up, his stomach was rumbling with hunger. He prepared to go find Chu Xun as it was time to eat lunch.

Lin Yanchen looked all over, but didn’t even see a shadow of Chu Xun. He went downstairs to the living room and saw Ad. He asked, “Where’s Chu Xun?”

“He left,” Ad said truthfully.

Lin Yanchen didn’t react at first. “He left? Where did he go? To the yard? “

“He left on a plane at 6 a.m. Mr. Chu flew back,” replied Ad.

Lin Yanchen lost any sleepiness in an instant, completely scared awake. His heart jumped with fear before he snapped out of it.

“He went back to China?! How come I didn’t know about this? Don’t trick me! How is that possible? Are you cracking a joke? Did Chu Xun ask you to help him give me a scare? Don’t scare me. It’s not fun at all. “

Ad said seriously, “Young master, I wasn’t tricking you. Mr. Chu has left. I drove him to the airport.”

Instantly, Lin Yanchen flew into a rage. “You sent him to the airport?! Why did he leave? I didn’t know about this at all! What on earth is the matter?”

He was angry, flustered, and aggrieved and he spoke incoherently, “No way! He promised me we’d start dating… He said that he liked me, and we also raised a kitten together. He said that I was “the father of the child.” Ah Xun wouldn’t trick me… When he wanted to leave, I didn’t force him to stay; he took the initiative and was willing to stay. How could he suddenly leave without notice? Ah Xun is not such a person. If he wanted to leave, he would definitely tell me. His things are still in the wardrobe.. He clearly didn’t leave. Don’t play with me. Is he hiding somewhere watching me worry? I am really worried! Where the heck is he?”

Ad shook his head: “I don’t know, young master, I only sent him to the airport. I don’t know which flight he is on, but you…”

Lin Yanchen became very angry: “I said not to joke!”

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Lin Yanchen’s heart was in a state of confusion and panic. He overturned the drawers and cabinets in the room, rummaging through everything like a blind man. He looked at the bedside table first — nothing. He ran to the wardrobe and took out Chu Xun’s things. Most of his clothes were there. He couldn’t remember which ones Chu Xun bought. It seemed that there was a set missing. Chu Xun’s backpack was still there as well. Lin Yanchen emptied out all the things in the bag. There was still cash in it, not a single note gone, but his bank card was gone. The marriage application that Chu Xun received from the city hall in Las Vegas was also gone.

A few days ago, he had taken out the paper and said to Chu Xun, “Shall we hand in this application one day?”

Chu Xun had replied, “If there is a chance in the future.”

Lin Yanchen did not hesitate to write down his name. “Just fill in your name.”

Chu Xun laughed and said, “I won’t fill it in. I’m not so easily swindled by you.”

But Lin Yanchen had a card up his sleeve, thinking that it would happen sooner or later.

Lin Yanchen sat on the side of the wardrobe, surrounded by the pile of scattered banknotes. He looked up and finally saw a letter on the table, under the vase.

Lin Yanchen did not dare to approach at first. He summoned up his courage and finally walked over to extract the letter.

He took a deep breath and opened the folded paper. On it was Chu Xun’s meaningful and elegant handwriting. It opened with a sentence that made his heart bleed: “Xiao Lin, I’m sorry; I’ve left. Please don’t come and look for me. “

Lin Yanchen closed his eyes and his fingertips trembled. He felt like he could not read any further.

He paused and took a deep breath. Dispiritedly, he sat down on the sofa and let himself continue reading the letter.

“You had nothing to do with my departure. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s all my fault.

It’s me who is too selfish and indecisive. I said I would go, but I came back, giving you hope that you shouldn’t have had. I’m sorry.

I didn’t tell you that I was terminally ill and only had a few months left to live when we first met. I’ve kept it from you all this time. I’m sorry.

Because I’m dying, I wanted to find someone to accompany me. You are a good man. The greatest fortune in my life was meeting you, but I am probably your misfortune. I’m sorry.

This past month or so, I truly passed the days with you very happily.

After I came to the manor, I finally understood that our meeting was probably a mistake. You don’t sell yourself. Although I still am not very clear on who you are, I didn’t ask you because I had to leave, and you did not need to tell me.

It is not worth it for you to like such a selfish person like me, a gratuitous burden.

I know, after reading this far, you will think you don’t mind my illness. Maybe you’d still want to look for me I have to make it clear to you that I don’t want that at all. Although we have only been together for a short time, you should have gotten to know me enough. I am stubborn and sometimes my ego is too big. I don’t want you to see me when I am seriously ill with a sickly and malnourished appearance. That’s too embarrassing.

It would torture the both of us letting you watch me slowly die, day by day. It’s better that you not see it.

I also know that you are very rich. Maybe you will try to find a good doctor for me. Please don’t do that either. I have already checked. There are no cases of anyone surviving my disease in the world. If, at that time, I had chosen treatment, I might have lived for a few months more. But I chose to stay with you, delaying the treatment. You don’t have to blame yourself. I have no regrets. I feel that it is extremely worth it to have exchanged that year and a half of being stuck in a hospital bed for the month and a half with you.

Both the aurora at Moraine Lake and you are miracles that were difficult to find in my lifetime.

Thank you, Xiao Lin.

I don’t expect you to forgive me for being shameless: going back on my word and lying. I am too terrible. I really don’t deserve your love.

You are still young, the future is long and hopeful. You will definitely meet a better person in the future – unlike me, who is so terrible, that will live with you until a ripe old age. I’m here to bless you in advance.

I’m sorry, Xiao Lin. If you truly like me, please respect my will and don’t search for me.

Really, I’m sorry.

Chu Xun

201x/1/5 “

Lin Yanchen saw several small circles on the paper — dried tear stains.

His tears fell on it again and soaked into the paper, creating fresh tear stains.

Lin Yanchen had never been so confused and helpless in his life, so powerless, even more so than when he couldn’t urge Chu Xun to stay last time.

He finally realized that for a long time now, Chu Xun had always been trying to conceal his lingering sadness.

He wanted to carefully put the letter away, but for the moment he could not think of a single suitable place.

His hand shook uncontrollably. The letter fell to the ground. He bent down to pick it up, and accidentally hit the table. A glass vase toppled over.

“Crash.”

The vase broke into pieces of shattered glass, the water splashed onto the letter, and the roses that were beginning to wither were scattered amidst the mess.

Lin Yanchen remembered these flowers. Chu Xun had told him not to pick them, so that they would grow well on the branches.

He insisted on picking them. Even if he carefully changed the water, the flowers still withered day by day.

Lin Yanchen half knelt on the ground, unconcerned by the shards of glass, and hurriedly picked up the letter. Half wet, the ink had smudged, and the words had blurred.

This is what Ah Xun left for him, but once he got it, he dirtied it.

What did he do?

His hand was cut open by the glass and blood gushed out, dirtying the letter even further.

Hearing something shatter upstairs, Ad rushed up and saw Lin Yanchen’s hands smeared with blood.

He went over and grabbed Lin Yanchen’s wrist. “I’ll clean it up. Your hand is hurt. You need to calm down a little. “

Lin Yanchen suddenly stated, “He loves me.”

“He loves me, so that’s why he doesn’t want me to find him.”

“I still want to look for him. Should I go?”

Ad thought for a moment and said, “This is your life. I’m not qualified to make decisions for you. But I think you have always been a determined person. “

Lin Yanchen finally calmed down. He stood up and agreed. “You are right.”

“I’m going to find him.”

Notes:

This is actually so heart-breaking ;((((