Chapter 12

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Chapter 12: The Way Back

【Four】

Once again, Wu Zhi was brought back in a daze, and suffered a serious illness. It was such a familiar sight. A very, very long time ago, he was infected and picked up by Ye Qingling. And this time, history practically repeated itself in mockery. The only difference was that Wu Zhi was clear-headed after he woke up this time. However, his body was badly weakened due to the illness. So, once again, he was taken care of very well by Ye Qingling like a doll.

Once he awoke, he had to face reality.

The first time he woke up, it was on their way back home. Wu Zhi found himself carried on Ye Qingling’s back like a child. The pain made the jumble in his mind subside bit by bit. And so, cruelty presented itself in front of him.

Wu Zhi weakly buried his head in the crook of Ye Qingling’s neck. Ye Qingling walked in silence. The extra weight posed no difficulty for him at all, his breathing did not even alter a single bit. He walked at a constant pace, as though he would continue walking on, unconcerned, even if the world destroyed itself in the next moment. He walked on, just to feel the increasingly solid distance between the two each time they exhaled icy-cold breaths. Wu Zhi’s criss-crossed arms shook along with the steps on Ye Qingling’s shoulders. His hoarse voice trembled too.

“Ye Qingling…”

“Mhm.”

“You’re a mutated zombie.”

“Mhm.”

“You’re very powerful.”

“Mhm.”

“You know the situation outside.”

“Mhm.”

“…You can chase them away. You can go out. You can even bring me outside.”

Ye Qingling did not hesitate at all: “Mhm.”

Hearing the prompt admission without any pause, Wu Zhi’s lips quivered. His hoarse, gloomy voice was like the growl of a trapped beast.

“Ye Qingling, you— Why did you deceive…”

“Wu Zhi, I didn’t deceive you.” Ye Qingling looked straight ahead, so Wu Zhi could only see the tiny earlobe so pale white that it was a little transparent beneath the inky black hair. “I will never deceive you.”

“OK then. That’s not deception. That’s concealment.” Wu Zhi raised his head and laughed at himself. “Wu Zhi, Wu Zhi, you’re truly ‘ignorant’ huh…”

Ye Qingling’s thin lips pressed into a firm line. “Yes, I was concealing it from you.”

“…You… Why didn’t you tell me…?!” Wu Zhi heaved. As his body was in a bad state, he even had to restrain the display of his anger. “I don’t care at all whether you’re a fucking zombie or a monster! Even if you didn’t want to tell me, I won’t force you! But, but, you didn’t have to hide everything… and support my living like I’m some sort of imbecile…”

Ye Qingling stopped. In front of them was a dust-scattered display window that blurrily reflected the two pressed together.

“Isn’t this fine?” Ye Qingling lowered his head slightly, shooting back with another question, “I’ll protect you. I’ll give you the best life, I will satisfy every request you have as much as possible. You only have to stay at ‘home’ carefreely, and live on without any worries. This life is very good.”

Wu Zhi’s eyes bulged in disbelief as he stared at that person in astonishment. “What did you think of me as? An accessory? Your pet?”

Ye Qingling turned his head slightly. His jet-black pupils gazed at Wu Zhi who was taken by shock, their color so pure that nothing else could be seen.

“Yes. I’m keeping you in captivity.”

Wu Zhi’s mind was a complete blank. Right now, he found himself practically a joke: He should have noticed it long ago, shouldn’t he? Everything right now. He actually noticed it long ago, didn’t he? In this apocalyptic world, he, Wu Zhi, could live so freely and comfortably all because he relied on this person, Ye Qingling. Without Ye Qingling, he, Wu Zhi, was nothing at all. Even the weakest zombie can kill him… No, no, no, there wasn’t even a need for a zombie. As long as his supplies were cut off, the person known as Wu Zhi absolutely could not survive past a week.

Wu Zhi hung his head powerlessly. His feeble, exhausted voice held a hint of fragility and perplexity.

“Ye Qingling, you want to keep me in fucking captivity for my whole life.”

“…Mhm.”

“…So scary, you really are.”

“Wu Zhi.” Ye Qingling’s voice was calm and without any great sorrow or grief. But if he were to study every single word meticulously, he would find that hidden in them were his most suppressed emotions.

“You can fear me. You can hate me.

“But you cannot leave me.”

Ye Qingling’s thin hands were shackling Wu Zhi tightly. Restraining him like this, and forcibly taking possession of everything. He allowed not a single gap, denying the person whom he liked so much he could die a chance to escape.

“Wu Zhi, Wu Zhi, Wu Zhi.”

—Would not know that there’s someone who likes you so much he’s near the brink of insanity.

“I just want you to become wholly and entirely mine…”

This was the possessive, greedy and selfish love nearing madness that Ye Qingling had towards the person called Wu Zhi in this world.

Wu Zhi gnashed his teeth hard. Before he pushed open Bluebeard’s door, he should have been aware of Ye Qingling’s despairingly deep feelings. He was someone that made Wu Zhi’s heart ache so terribly. Wu Zhi knew that when faced with that hopeless future, there was only one choice for him.

“Ye Qingling.” Wu Zhi buried his head in Ye Qingling’s shoulder, not daring to give another glance to that person that made his heart throb all too painfully. “Let me off the hook.”

“……Wu Zhi, I like you.”

“Since you said you’ll satisfy my requests, then, my only request is for you to let me leave. Let me off, OK?”

“I like you a lot and a lot. I like you so much that I could die.”

“……”

“Don’t kill me, okay? Wu Zhi…”

“……I will never be able to like you as much as you like me.”

Ye Qingling laughed, brightness all in his eyes. “Wu Zhi, that at least proves that you still like me.”

“……”

Wu Zhi fiercely bit Ye Qingling’s shoulder. But his muted voice could not muffle the sob.

“Asshole! Asshole! Asshole! Why aren’t you letting me off?! Why why why…. Hic…”

Hot liquid fell on Ye Qingling’s shoulder.

“Why do you have to like me so much… Why, why, why! Why did I have to fall for you too… Fucking… Why… did you have to be a monster… Why… of everything… why did you have to be a monster… Fucking hell, I don’t want to die in front of you!!!”

Wu Zhi refused to look at the display window in front of them. There, it reflected Ye Qingling’s delicate appearance that looked as it always did — it looked as it always did, never-changing. Ye Qingling’s time seemed to have stopped the moment the apocalypse arrived. His appearance was forever halted in his teenagehood, never growing. Perhaps every mutated zombie had this right. In order to ensure its body survived for a longer time, those viruses would divide its cells in the host body, rapidly slowing down their metabolism in normal situations. To summarize with a simple phrase, they can live for a long time. Ye Qingling was a mutated zombie, and Wu Zhi was only a… normal person. So, time never stopped its steps for Wu Zhi. Wu Zhi will grow more and more, become older and older, and then welcome… his final stage.

Wu Zhi did not know how long Ye Qingling’s body that was altered by the viruses could live, but he would at least live longer than him. There existed the possibility that he would achieve the legendary immortality too. He was not against turning older and dying, but his heart would hurt. He would hurt for that person who liked him so much that there was no turning back — Wu Zhi could not imagine it at all. If he turned old and died, what should Ye Qingling do? He was not being narcissistic. Wu Zhi truly did feel uneasy and afraid. Even if he died, he hoped that Ye Qingling could live on properly too. It was best if he could forget him too — Wu Zhi finally understood the feelings Wu Yuan felt when she screamed at him to “live on”.

……So, Wu Zhi chose to leave. He always had this fuzzy notion that only fully came to being upon Misha and Qiangzi’s appearance. Wu Zhi wanted to create a cat box. Before the cat box was opened, no one could say for sure if the cat inside was alive or dead — Similarly, if Wu Zhi vanished in front of Ye Qingling’s eyes, before he clearly witnessed his death, no one could be certain if Wu Zhi was alive or dead. This fuzziness would be magnified, and may even defeat the intervention of time — Even if it was a long, long time later, long enough that normally, he should have died of old age, that person could still assume that he was still living happily at a certain corner on Earth. While searching for him, he would gradually forget him, and then begin a new life.

—That‘s right. Time was the best drug to forget. Wu Zhi even envisioned it all. If he vanished, maybe Ye Qingling would be very enraged and hurt at the very beginning, and would search for him ceaselessly. But, as time continued passing, this strong feeling would slowly lessen until it disappeared completely. Because Ye Qingling was still alive. People who were still alive had to live on in determination and forget their grief.

He could do anything at all. As long as Ye Qingling lived on in stability.

That was the best ending for them. Wu Zhi believed that.

Ye Qingling carried Wu Zhi tightly and began to take his step. Step by step, steadily and attentively, as though he was carrying his whole world on his back. Wu Zhi lay on Ye Qingling’s back, hearing Ye Qingling mutter repeatedly:

“Wu Zhi, don’t worry. We’ll always be together.”

“Wu Zhi, let’s go home, back to our home.”

A/N:

╮(╯▽╰)╭ Regarding some of the settings in this novel, I’ll write a lot in my afterword. Looks into the far distance

I’m in the midst of trying hard to finish this =w~

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