Chapter 13

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Translator’s Note: This is a locked chapter.

Chapter 13

【Five】

Ye Qingling, you cannot have feelings.

The man in his memories that was known as his father pushed up his glasses. The light refracting off the spectacles was white. The white coat on the man was also a blank white. Ye Qingling did not even need to look carefully to know that the man’s expression was blank too. The research that drew away all of the man’s attention not only stole the man’s attention, but also took away the man’s wife, family, and even the man’s ability to express emotions on his face. Ye Qingling looked up with his usual expressionlessness.

Yes, Father.

This is good for your heart.

The man coldly patted Ye Qingling’s head. Then, he turned to bury himself in his work again.

Ye Qingling had a very good memory, but his memories during childhood were still extremely limited, because Ye Qingling was always indifferent towards things he was disinterested in. As such, it caused his childhood memories to be majorly blank. This situation continued until he met Wu Zhi. From then on, Ye Qingling’s memories were fully occupied by the person known as Wu Zhi. Yet, for some reason, a piece of memory had always remained in Ye Qingling’s mind.

That place was a Chinese medical hall with an old-styled aesthetic. Due to his heart problems, Ye Qingling came to such places plenty of times. The dim light colored the room faintly, indistinctly. The air in the room was saturated with the coarse smells of medicine and fragrance of incense. The spiralling wisps of incense smoke dissipated in the air. Ye Qingling’s gaze moved from the picture of the human meridians to the TCM practitioner who was as thin as bones, with skin as dry as paper. That old TCM master’s hand on Ye Qingling’s thin wrist was like a shrivelled chicken’s claw.

The old TCM practitioner’s words were pedantic, as if he took them right out of a third-rated wuxia novel: …Little one, do pay heed to this old man’s words. Should you wish to be free from the worries of your heart, bear in mind that your thoughts should not experience strong emotions of joy or sorrow. Do not fall for worldly desires. That is the simplest way for a human heart to be taken by the devil. In your state, the slightest slip would likely lead to an irredeemable situation. Remember this at all costs, at all costs…

The aged TCM practitioner’s rambles blurred in the hazy air along with the incense smoke. Perhaps Ye Qingling had found it interesting, so he decided to remember it, letting that faltering “Do not fall for worldly desires; it is the simplest way for a human heart to be taken by the devil” remain vaguely in the depths of his mind. Back then, Ye Qingling did not pay much attention to those words. Since young, Ye Qingling had already learned to control his emotions and feelings, to look at everything with indifference — Ye Qingling had never expected to meet a person like Wu Zhi, who would tug at his heartstrings that much and whom he would pay exceeding attention to.

—How could there be such a wonderful person in this world? To stir his heart up so much despite himself. To make him like him so much that he could die. To make him like him so much that he… was practically taken by the devil. When he couldn’t see him, his heart throbbed from anxiety; when he could touch him, his heart throbbed from sheer joy; when he was ignored by him, his heart throbbed from grief. Even though Ye Qingling knew that Wu Zhi was a fatal venom for Ye Qingling himself, his heart would stir in so much exaltation that he would even crown the pain as the sweetness known as “Wu Zhi”.

Thus, in that instant he was certain he was a burden, Ye Qingling unhesitatingly jumped into the sea of zombies, bringing with himself a selfish joy of making Wu Zhi remember Ye Qingling forever; so, upon waking up in chaos, Ye Qingling did not even have the time to mull over his luck and his body’s transformation before he rushed to find Wu Zhi, to pick Wu Zhi back and keep him in captivity. He brought Wu Zhi away, solely to satisfy Ye Qingling’s selfishness.

How could he like someone this much? Whether in the past, present, or the future; whether as a human being or after being turned into a monster, Ye Qingling ultimately only ever wanted Wu Zhi. As if he had gone mad, as if he was taken by the devil. He had once pried open his left chest, tore open his skin, cut apart his flesh, and pushed away those ghastly white ribs. The virus in his body wouldn’t let him die so easily, so just by lowering his head, he easily saw that organ exposed to the air but remained beating energetically.

Ye Qingling expressionlessly thought, so this was the heart that tormented him for half his life? That beating piece of flesh looked so ugly, with veins sticking out, along with a slimy luster as it beated and jumped constantly, unafraid of death— It was this thing that made even living a demanding task for him in the past, such that even missing that person could lead to a sudden objection from it, utterly ignorant to its place. So insignificant, far too insignificant. This ugly, insignificant flesh prevented even a single fragment from that person from occupying his heart.

Ye Qingling gripped the piece of flesh beating in ignorance to its place. It emitted a terrifying tremble, becoming increasingly slimy and red from blood congestion. Ye Qingling cocked his head, pondering, and ultimately chose not to dig out his own heart after all. The virus was warning shrilly in his brain—towards actions that caused genuine harm to the host, those little things would activate a restraint signal to the brain, similar to the self-defense mechanism activated if a human hand touched fire. Ye Qingling placed that apprehensive piece of flesh back, shoving the skin back in place as though he was simply pulling up a zipper. He watched that snow-white skin heal in practically the next second, leaving no trace behind. Ye Qingling’s blood-tained finger trailed on the spot in silence. He thought, he would have to live on together with that piece of flesh forever. This knowledge made him rather irritated.

Ye Qingling was a very calm person, so he noticed right from the beginning that the virus did not merely change his body; it may have reconstructed his thinking as well. Or perhaps Ye Qingling was too intelligent, so unlike those chaotic, brainless monsters outside, instincts were not the only thing that remained. But Ye Qingling still very clearly sensed his own changes: he did not dislike killing other “people”, he did not dislike blood, he did not mind eating food raw — he was even quite fond of the taste of the brains. If possible, he would try making a serving for Wu Zhi to eat, when he was unaware. He was very confident of his own culinary skills; he even had no qualms dismembering his own self — Right now, Ye Qingling was truly a bona fide monster.

Back when Ye Qingling was a human, he was satisfied with just watching Wu Zhi from afar; but after Ye Qingling turned into a monster, he was fearless. If Ye Qingling had been willing to give his life for Wu Zhi before, then the current Ye Qingling would drag Wu Zhi to Hell even if at the expense of his own life.

He was rationally going crazy, Ye Qingling analyzed himself in cold calmness. Ye Qingling was not emotionless. An animalistic quality and an emotional side were the two greatest human characteristics. However, he had already learned to control his emotions when he was very young. Yet, Ye Qingling knew that should his suppressed feelings erupt…

The TCM practitioner’s rambles, “Do not fall for worldly desires… human heart will be taken by the devil… the slightest slip would likely lead to an irredeemable situation…”, had been increasingly echoing in his mind. He was, in truth, the same as that man with the title of a father. The man had gone crazy for his work, while Ye Qingling had gone crazy for Wu Zhi.

It was already too late, Ye Qingling thought. It was too late. He was long taken by the devil.

Ye Qingling gazed at the slumbering Wu Zhi. The sun was not stingy enough to only sprinkle some light and heat just because it was the apocalypse. The morning rays filtered through the translucent windows to fall on the bed, lighting the sheets a bright white. Wu Zhi usually looked loud and carefree, but was especially obedient in his sleep. When embraced by Ye Qingling in his sleep, he also simply curled up in his arms unmovingly, like a kitten taking a doze. Ye Qingling unblinkingly stared at Wu Zhi’s sleeping profile. He thought, the most good-looking person in the world was Wu Zhi. And now, Wu Zhi was his.

Completely incapable of resisting the temptation known as “Wu Zhi”, Ye Qingling kissed that pair of supple lips, lower body rubbing against his. Upon reaching the entrance, he immediately entered him. They had continued until the late hours the previous night, so his hole was still wet and soft, allowing it to easily receive the intruder. The thrust sent Wu Zhi face-planting into the pillow. He struggled his way free, flapping his arms and blearily opening his eyes that were full of childlike, bewildered ignorance. Before he could make sense of the feeling of being entered from behind, the intruder, while pushing him down from above, began moving with grandiosity. Wu Zhi immediately lost his ability to speak from the thrusts.

“Ye Qingling, you bastard…” Wu Zhi was boiling with rage, angrily slapping the bed. “You fucker… The hell are you getting all horny in the morning for— Gyah!”

Ye Qingling held Wu Zhi down, like a feline holding down its prey with its furry paw. Wu Zhi immediately felt the assaults in his body getting stronger. He gulped in small breaths and gave in, beginning to beg for mercy. It was early morning. Who in the world could endure this the moment they open their eyes?

“D-Don’t… aahh… You, take it easy… You already nearly killed me last night— mmph!”

“Wu Zhi.” Ye Qingling let go of Wu Zhi’s mouth, lowering his head to lick Wu Zhi’s reddened back. “Happy birthday.”

Wu Zhi’s movements seemed to stiffen. He turned to glare at that sly, sly guy to express his anger of being utterly wrapped around his finger. But because of their positions, Wu Zhi still failed in the end. He sucked in a breath, and only silently raised his buttocks. He inched closer to Ye Qingling. And inched even closer.

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