Chapter 15

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Chapter 15: A Story

【Seven】

Squatting down in boredom, Belen played with the marbles. This was a branch office of the Doctors’ Syndicate. Her father had taken her body check-up results to a room, and she did not know how long it would take before he came out.

Under the radiant sun, light filtered through the transparent marbles as if they were colored glass. In a careless slip, the marbles were flicked away and rolled swiftly towards the distance. Panicked, the girl jumped to her feet and chased after the marbles.

In the end, the ceramic glazed marbles hit a wheel and ricocheted back. Belen hesitatingly stopped in her steps. In front of her was a raven-haired youth in a wheelchair. His eyes were closed as if he was in a slumber. He exuded heavy exhaustion, as if he was so drained that he would never wake again. Belen couldn’t help rubbing her eyes. She thought in fear, the big brother in front of her looked like he would break the moment the sunlight touched him.

Perhaps because of the marbles or Belen’s footsteps, the black-haired youth furrowed his brows, the creases between his eyes deepening enough that others could even sense what laborious pains he was in. The youth’s long, straight eyelashes opened slowly. The revealed black pupils were initially unfocused before they gradually became clear. He sat on the wheelchair, gently looking at the girl stiffened on the spot.

“Hello… What’s your name, little friend?”

The person in the wheelchair was clearly a youth right in the middle of his young years, but his tone, manner and body language emitted a sense of oldness. Belen could sense it, but she did not know how to explain this sense of incongruity and oddness. A complete mismatch just like— just like an old man clothed in the skin of a young person. But perhaps because the youth’s eyes were far too gentle, Belen was not wary of him, and instead answered him softly:

“I’m Belen Augustus.” The girl looked up. “What about big brother?”

Hearing the girl’s last name, the wheelchaired youth seemed to fall into a deep trance. He looked at Belen’s face a little blankly, forgetting to respond. Belen felt a little upset that she was ignored. She puckered her lips and began whining.

“Come on, tell Belen please, big brother.”

“I…” The youth seemed to finally come back to himself. His gaze on Belen was incredulous. “I’m Wu Zhi…” He seemed to waver, but still asked softly, “Little Belen, do you know Misha Augustus[1]?”

“Misha… My granny?” Belen widened her eyes. “Big brother, do you know Belen’s Granny Misha? Belen loooves Granny. Though she couldn’t see, she’d hug Belen and tell me my favorite stories~”

“Granny… Heh…” Wu Zhi laughed quietly in the wheelchair. The only woman whom he had interaction with in this apocalyptic world was already a grandmother, huh. And he, who was in the same age group as her, still had youthful skin… It really made him want to sigh. Wu Zhi felt a little perplexed. Had so much time passed? He had already stolen this much time?

“Little Belen, do you like stories?”

“Yeah, big brother! Belen loves hearing stories~”

“Then, how about I…” Wu Zhi winked at Belen. “—tell Little Belen a story?”

The girl came closer in delight. She propped herself on the armrest of the wheelchair, full of anticipation. Wu Zhi’s eyes narrowed as if pondering where to start the story. The smile on his face was gentle, but held a hint of coldness:

“Little Belen, do you know what death is?”

Belen’s eyes widened, unease and fear in her eyes. Under Wu Zhi’s gaze, the girl hung her head dispiritedly. “…Daddy said that Granny Misha just went to another world. And Belen can only go to that world after a long, long time… Belen’s Granny Misha is gone, she disappeared…”

“Yes, disappeared, and gone…” As though he did not hear the sob in Belen’s voice, Wu Zhi did not comfort her and merely continued on. “Death is a very scary thing, right?”

“Very,” Belen wiped her tears and responded.

“Death is not scary. Really. Little Belen can view death as a grand party that everyone will participate in. Those people at the party have so much fun that they don’t want to come back. You can’t go there because you haven’t received your invitation letter. If it’s a party like this, are you still scared?”

Belen shook her head. Wu Zhi’s hand hesitatingly raised from the armrest, stiffly touching Belen in comfort. You could practically hear the crack of his joints in that stiff, robotic movement. “There are plenty of things scarier than death…”

“Let us imagine. When you grow up, you’ll become mature and beautiful. Then, you’ll start to grow old, until you’re as old as your Granny Misha. But everything around you didn’t change a single bit. The people you love, and the people who love you still look the same. You’re the only one who changed, becoming old and becoming ugly in front of them; when you take each step closer to death, they stand at the same place, sending you off with their gazes. If you’re the only one who’s gone, who disappeared—”

Belen’s scream momentarily interrupted Wu Zhi’s words. Blood had drained out of the girl’s pale face. Only when Belen’s scream ended, Wu Zhi slowly finished.

“—that’ll be very scary, right?”

“Sniff…” Belen held her face, and nodded. She had gotten a fright.

Wu Zhi sat on the wheelchair quietly for a while. Even after Belen calmed down, he still did not talk. He was like an old machine, submerged in the dust, waiting to be wound up. Just as Belen was about to prompt him to speak, Wu Zhi spoke up again:

“What if… the opposite happened? Imagine if there’s someone who won’t change at all. Everything around him was changing. He would watch the person he loves and the person who loves him turn old and ugly. And then, watch them vanish from this world, leaving him alone — What do you think will happen to him?”

After a long hesitation, Belen answered in a very soft voice, “If it was Belen, Belen would go crazy.”

“…Yes.” Wu Zhi looked outside the window. His eyes had an indistinct glimmer, hazily looking into another void. “So, he went crazy.”

When Wu Zhi discovered that wrinkle at the corner of his eye, when Wu Zhi sprained his waist for the first time while having sex, when Wu Zhi’s grey hair grew uncountable, he very clearly sensed that they did not have much time anymore. So, Wu Zhi valued their current life even more than before — though he did feel some discomfort. After all, everybody would wish their most beautiful self to be preserved in front of the person they liked. But Wu Zhi knew too that no matter what he looked like, Ye Qingling would never disdian him for it. So, Wu Zhi accompanied the person he loved the most, heart at ease, and rather calmly awaited for his final stage to arrive.

But Wu Zhi forgot. Ye Qingling was crazily possessive and liked him so much he was near insane. How could he let go? Wu Zhi was his, he was his! Even the grim reaper can’t snatch Wu Zhi away from him!

The first illness he contracted was uremia, a very common illness. When that person mentioned conducting a surgery to replace his kidney, Wu Zhi agreed without thinking much of it. The surgeon was Ye Qingling, and it took place in the hotel basement — Wu Zhi never knew that there was an operating theater even more top-notch than a hospital’s. Wu Zhi will always remember that day. When he awoke, that person’s glasses shone under the surgical lights, coldly reflecting an inorganic glow. Ye Qingling caressed Wu Zhi’s face, his touch very gentle. His voice too was very soft, so soft that one could miss it entirely.

That person said it easily, “If it’s damaged, we’ll change to another.”

At that time, Wu Zhi did not pay it much attention, responding with a fuzzy nod.

Not long later, Wu Zhi finally understood what Ye Qingling said quietly back then. He understood how much he truly meant it. Ye Qingling was a lunatic. He had always been. For Wu Zhi, he had already long abandoned human morals, and even broke… taboos. What he did was, in truth, very simple. It was that one quiet sentence he uttered: If it’s damaged, we’ll change to another.

“When my liver failed, he changed it; when my intestines were infected, he changed it; when I got rheumatism in my left leg, he changed my leg; when I got presbyopia, he changed my eyes; when I got heart paralysis, he changed my heart… Hehe, then my backbone was paralysed. He chopped off the entire thing from under my neck and changed it— No, it’s easier to understand if I explain it like this. He chopped off my head and put it on a new body, hahaha…” Seated in a wheelchair, Wu Zhi broke into loud laughter while holding his face. “You can never imagine how I felt when he carried me into a room full of glass tubes. What I felt when I saw those floating “Wu Zhi”s one after another in them! He told me— he fucking said this to me. Those are all my clones, the spare materials for my body, as many as I wished! If it wasn’t enough, he can make more!”

Bound on the operating table, Wu Zhi had fought the restraints: Stop this! Ye Qingling, you fucker, stop! You’re committing blasphemy! Are you crazy—

That person stood in the shadows, lips pursed with a hint of stubborn insanity: No matter what method I have to use, I’ll make you live on.

Fuck off—!!!

……

Ye Qingling, you can’t do this… Hurry and fucking wake up! Let’s face reality together, okay…

Wu Zhi, I like you.

Wu Zhi had struggled on the operating table to avoid that person’s hands, to fling away that person’s sweetened madness.

Wu Zhi, we’ll always be together.

Wu Zhi shook his head wildly, near a breakdown.

It’s impossible, it’s impossible, it’s impossible… Ye Qingling… This is impossible—!!!

Ye Qingling had not minded Wu Zhi’s fierce resistance. Absent-mindedly, he touched the person he loved the most on the operating table.

Wu Zhi, don’t leave me…

Ice-cold liquid slid down that person’s peerlessly beautiful face.

Please… Don’t leave me… Alright…?

“…Changed and changed. Everything was replaced, hah…” Wu Zhi collapsed in the wheelchair. His voice was very muffled, as if he was talking to himself. “There was a time I didn’t even dare to look at anything that could produce reflections. Can you imagine it? When you look in the mirror or something else, and see a monster with a shriveled brain on a healthy built body, and that monster is you?! Hehe… I know how that feels. I experienced it personally. Ooh, it’s even more thrilling than a haunted house. I was sleepless for a couple of weeks after the fright, hahaha. Isn’t that funny? So, the chicken dug out his own eyes.”

Wu Zhi lifted his eyes, gazing at the dumbstruck Belen. His smile grew brighter and more grievous.

Wu Zhi, don’t be like this…

Please, don’t be like this…

Polp— Wu Zhi had smelled blood. Then, a slimy, soft sphere-shaped object was placed in his hand. That person grabbed his hand and raised it, palm aimed at his emptied socket, pressing that round and soft object in— It was Ye Qingling’s eyeball.

Ye Qingling. Wu Zhi had started crying. What rolled out of the dark, voided eye socket was not tears, but blood. I should be the one begging you. Please, let me off the hook, okay…

Wu Zhi, I’ll let you off.

The same liquid splattered on Wu Zhi’s face. Ye Qingling held Wu Zhi’s face, tears streaming down, blood streaming down.

But who would let me off…?

“Ah ah, of course, he patched it up quickly later. Look, he tormented himself until he was barely a human anymore. Then, he tormented me until I barely looked like a human either. I should have yelled at him, flipped out at him, gone crazy at him — just look at what he did— But.” Wu Zhi sighed slowly, a helpless compromise in his voice. “The moment I saw how fragile he looked, fucking hell, I just gave up all my determination like I pulled on some muscle… He’s too sly. Even though he knows he’s got me firmly wrapped around his finger…”

Wu Zhi’s voice gradually weakened. After heaving for a while, he stiffly made a gun gesture, index finger pointing at the dumbstrucked Belen. “Now, question time. Listen well.”

“Imagine you have a sock that you love very much. One day, there’s a huge hole in that sock. What will you do? A, patch it up. B, throw it away.”

“A-A…” The girl answered in reflex.

“OK. You patched up this sock, and you continued to use it. Then, when there’s another hole through this sock again, you’ll patch it up again… This repeats and repeats.” Wu Zhi raised his “gun” with a forced smile. “Until all the spots you’ve patched up have covered the original parts of the sock. Which means, all the patches were absolutely enough to be knitted into another sock. Now, this is the highlight. Let me ask you this. Is this sock still the same sock that you loved?”

Belen wanted to answer yes in reflex, but as her brain contemplated a little longer, she felt it was not. The girl frowned in frustration, clearly at a loss. Seeing Belen’s perplexed expression, Wu Zhi gave a wicked smile.

“This is a paradox, called the Ship of Theseus. Never mind if you don’t get it… Just answer this question. Remember, you have to answer this time.” Wu Zhi raised the gun hand to his ear, index finger aimed at his temple. His face looked like he was smiling, but at the same time, looked like he was crying. “Throughout my entire body, only my brain is the ‘original Wu Zhi’. Heh. Come, tell me. Am I or am I not ‘Wu Zhi’…?”

Tell me, Ye Qingling. Such a “Wu Zhi” that’s made up of other components, is he still Wu Zhi?

Terrified by Wu Zhi’s twisted face, the girl looked at Wu Zhi’s expression that looked like he wanted to cry. After a moment of standstill, Wu Zhi put down his “gun” while sighing. He blinked his eyes in exhaustion, an aged curve to his eyelashes. His whole body seemed to be withering on the wheelchair. Rotting.

“Reality often tells a story. Its main theme is Cruelty.”

Wu Zhi’s voice was very soft, with an odd lightness to it.

“And my story, is almost over…”

A/N:

The paradox mentioned in the chapter came from the story of the Ship of Theseus: When Theseus and the youth of Athens returned from Crete, the ship they took, which had thirty oars, were preserved by the Athenians for commemoration. As time passed, the wood gradually rotted, and so, the Athenians would replace them with new timber. Finally, all the timber had been replaced. As such, the ancient Greek philosophers began questioning: “Was this ship still the original ship of Theseus? If it was, what about the fact that it no longer had any of the same wood at the beginning? If it wasn’t, then, when did it start being a different one?”

This is a similar paradox. If we suppose the components of a certain object have to be replaced, although the appearance remains the same, is it still the same object?

Translator Note:

[1] This isn’t the same last name that Misha introduced herself as in the previous chapters. It may be an oversight on Tui’s side, or maybe Wu Zhi was aware that her last name changed some time afterwards after her marriage.

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