Chapter 16

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Chapter 16: The Final Stage

【Eight】

“Belen!”

Belen turned to see her father beckoning her over in the distance.

“Big brother, Belen has to go now. Thanks for the story, big brother, though Belen can’t really understand it.” The girl blinked her eyes, still reluctant to leave. “When Belen grows up, Big brother can tell Belen the story again! At that time, Belen will definitely understand!”

“Sure.”

“Bye bye, big brother.”

“Goodbye, Belen.” Wu Zhi sent the little girl off with his gaze as she happily ran to the distance. There was a slight smile in his half-lidded eyes. “I’ll send your greetings to Misha later.”

Belen did not notice those extremely freakish words. Midway, she turned back to wave goodbye to the big brother on the wheelchair, but she saw it then. An exquisitely beautiful Angel stood by the big brother’s side. That angel was so beautiful. His snow-white skin looked almost transparent under the sun! The girl was mesmerized. She watched, enraptured, as the Angel pushed big brother away. She thought both enviously and anxiously: Big brother’s gonna be taken away by the Angel, she wouldn’t see him anymore.

“Belen?”

Belen was carried into a pair of arms. Her vision swayed. And when she looked over, she found only a patch of sunlight left there. The girl’s lips puckered, burying her head into her father’s chest, breaking into a heartbroken bawl. She did not know why. She just could not stop feeling sad. She could only sob powerlessly.

***

“Wu Zhi, you’re in a good mood?”

Ye Qingling pushed Wu Zhi along the streets. The cottonwood trees by the sides of the road had germinated, wrapping seeds in white, fluffy cotton wadding. With just a gust of the wind, cotton fluttered throughout the sky, like a warm snowfall.

“Mhm.” Wu Zhi leaned back lazily on the wheelchair. He could no longer walk. To be specific, moving in any way was a toil on him. No matter how new his body was, the brain that oversaw the nervous system was already feeble. The initial stage of nerve cell division gave everyone a fixed number of cells. Which meant that the neurons in the brain would only grow fewer and fewer. There would not be any new cells that could divide into new neurons. As such, Wu Zhi was simply struggling at death’s door. The time he spent in a daze or in sleep grew increasingly longer, and his movements grew increasingly stiffer. Even making an expression required extraneous effort.

Therefore, he only wore a young exterior, while his insides were terribly decayed and ulcerated long ago. Wu Zhi thought absent-mindedly, if even his brain was switched out in the end, then he would truly become a Ship of Theseus. Ye Qingling was also well-aware of that. So, as time passed, that person became increasingly crazy, terrified and fragile.

Today, Ye Qingling brought Wu Zhi to the Doctors’ Syndicate. He went to search for materials, and when he returned, he saw Wu Zhi chatting happily with a little girl. Standing in the shadows, Ye Qingling was close to madness. He was so overjoyed. How long had it been since he saw Wu Zhi this sober? Each time Wu Zhi fell into a deep sleep, Ye Qingling’s breathing was gripped by something. The longer Wu Zhi slumbered, the longer Ye Qingling’s suffering lasted. It was only when Wu Zhi opened his eyes again that Ye Qingling received his liberation. Then, the next time Wu Zhi fell into a slumber, he repeated this suffering. How afraid was he? Afraid that Wu Zhi could never open his eyes again, afraid that Wu Zhi would abandon him. He was so terrified he could die. Ye Qingling could only tightly embrace Wu Zhi’s sleeping body that he personally put together. Only when he could constantly feel Wu Zhi’s weak heartbeat and breathing could he regain some space to breathe in that immeasurable fear.

“What did you two talk about?” Ye Qingling prompted Wu Zhi to talk more. Otherwise, Wu Zhi, whose thoughts grew increasingly slower, would always fall into a daze, blankly staring at a spot in the void with misty eyes.

“Many, many things.” Perhaps as Wu Zhi had talked plenty today, his response came very quickly. His pleased laugh had a hint of craftiness. “I played a prank on that little kid, and told her a ghost story.”

The crazy, real ghost story between the two of them. Seeped with sweet poison, soaked in blood, and with the cruelty known as love.

“Ye Qingling… Wow!”

Wind swooshed past them, bringing with it cotton that blanketed the sky and ground. Dancing cotton fluttered down, spreading a white, fluffy padding on all things. In this dream-like place, Wu Zhi looked at Ye Qingling. The corners of his lips twitched, and he broke into a ruthless laughter.

“Gahahaha! You look like a birdman that dropped all these feathers—”

Ye Qingling did not mind Wu Zhi’s ridicule. He carefully picked away the cotton on Wu Zhi’s face, in case Wu Zhi accidentally breathed it in. Wu Zhi laughed heartily until tears almost fell. That bright laughter was like a blossoming firework, displaying its most magnificent brilliance before it extinguished. Ye Qingling’s lips pursed slightly. He felt an odd grief. More and more uneasiness assaulted him, leaving him utterly helpless. The dancing cotton was just like his chaotic mess of emotions, faintly making some reality clear.

“…Ye Qingling.” After Wu Zhi laughed enough, he looked up at Ye Qingling. His bright, clear, black pupils distinctly reflected Ye Qingling’s figure. “Do you still remember our first date? It was on my 40th birthday.”

“Mhm.”

“Do you still remember my curse?”

“…I do.”

“Then, I won’t have to worry anymore.” Wu Zhi lay on the wheelchair in satisfaction, relaxed. His voice was so very faint, so very faint that it would be missed entirely if one didn’t strain their ears. “Ye Qingling, I just can’t bear to leave you…”

Within an instant, Ye Qingling suddenly felt like a certain phrase from his lips had clutched his throat. Panicked suffocation arrived along with his unease. The uneasiness that he had been intentionally looking away from seemed to have broken free of its restraints. As aggressive as a flood that broke past a dam, it heartlessly threw him into an irreversible situation.

What does that mean, what does that mean what does that mean… What did Wu Zhi’s words mean… Even though it was so easy to understand, he cowardly did not dare to take the step to reach the answer.

“Ye Qingling.” Wu Zhi quietly called out Ye Qingling’s name. Again, and again. As though he found this game delightful. “Ye Qingling, Ye Qingling, Ye Qingling, Ye Qingling…”

Enough! Stop calling me, please stop calling me!

When he came to himself again, Ye Qingling found himself holding Wu Zhi in a deathly tight embrace, trembling in fear.

Even though he loved Wu Zhi calling his name, even though he loved looking at Wu Zhi’s tongue flicking down from behind his teeth at the last syllable of his name, even though… Wu Zhi was only calling his name. But he was still so caught by fear that it felt like he was dying.

“Ye Qingling, let me go.”

No! If he let go, he would never get hold of him again…

“Let me go. Let me look at you, alright?”

…….No. You can look afterwards, alright? Later on, I’ll let you look as much as you want, okay…?

“I want to kiss you, Ye Qingling.” Wu Zhi’s helpless voice sounded like he was coaxing a child. He patted Ye Qingling’s head stiffly. “It’s been so long since we last kissed.”

……

As if he’d given up, Wu Zhi let Ye Qingling embrace him tightly. He watched the cotton dancing in the air, feeling very relaxed. It had been so long since he felt this light. Just like those flying cotton in the sky, gone with just a breeze. Wu Zhi began chortling so carefreely as though a joke had been made.

“Ye Qingling, it’s gonna be over for me. So, let me look at you and kiss you, okay?”

“……”

“Is that okay? Just think of it as fulfilling a dying man’s final—”

“Shut— up!”

Each word punctuated, as if he had shattered his teeth from clamping down so hard, and had grinded those words out by chewing on his flesh. This was the first time Ye Qingling had yelled at Wu Zhi, the growl akin to a trapped beast nearing its death. But, after the yell, the shocked one was the person who yelled. Panicked, Ye Qingling let go of Wu Zhi. He looked at Wu Zhi at a complete loss, fragility and fear overflowing in his eyes.

“Wu Zhi!” Ye Qingling wanted to come closer, but was so afraid and so apprehensive that he did not dare to touch a hair on Wu Zhi. As if a careless touch could cause Wu Zhi to shatter like glass and disappear. Wu Zhi had never seen a Ye Qingling that exuded all but complete fragility and despair. No glimmer could be seen from that person’s black eyes. They were filled with deathly stillness, like a dried up lake. The psychotic helpless and fearful state stabbed Wu Zhi’s heart deeply. He could not help but press where his heart was to make the ache more bearable.

“Wu Zhi, does your heart feel unwell? We’ll go home immediately and change to another one. We still have time…”

“Ye…” Wu Zhi’s voice was very weak. He was beginning to feel exhausted. That exhaustion was far more overwhelming and deathly still than any other time. “Qingling…”

“I can still find other ways. I just found some materials. Xu Fu once went to the seas in search of elixirs, so from this angle, I can…”

“Ye Qingling, I love you.”

Ye Qingling looked at Wu Zhi blankly. Ye Qingling had always been the one who verbalized his affection for him. Wu Zhi’s personality was not one to repeatedly say these things. It was only when he was forced to a corner by Ye Qingling that he would awkwardly mutter a “I like you”. They had professed how they “liked” each other, but had never said “love”. Ye Qingling would not say “love”, because he had seen a definition of love: love was selfless, mutual, where one will let go for the other’s happiness. How could that be? How could a selfish, crazy, possessive and faintly self-deprecating Ye Qingling let go of Wu Zhi?! If it was just “like”, he can be possessive, can be uncaring of the other’s response. So, that was why it was “like”, it was only “like”. It was that kind of “like” where he liked him so much that he could die.

“Wu Zhi.” There was a tremble in Ye Qingling’s voice. The expression on his face was fragile to the extreme. “Don’t love me. Just like me, okay…?”

So, don’t let go of Ye Qingling. Don’t so selflessly plan a future without Wu Zhi for Ye Qingling. To Ye Qingling, this is… too cruel.

“Wu Zhi, please, I beg you, let Wu Zhi and Ye Qingling remain together forever, okay…?”

“……”

Why would you keep saying “forever” and “always”? To ceaselessly repeat that they had to be together forever, was truthfully because you were afraid of the fast-paced time, of course…

“Wu Zhi…”

“Wu…”

Ye Qingling, are you saying something…?

Wu Zhi strained to open his eyes wider. But he could only catch a thin white indistinct figure, and those white fragments dancing through the sky. Wu Zhi could not see Ye Qingling’s face that was on the verge of a breakdown, he could not hear Ye Qingling’s low, powerless pleading. His brain could no longer even bear the burden of his five senses. Having pushed himself to live until now, his story had finally reached its end. Wu Zhi’s lips trembled in a desire to utter something, but he failed. However, he was already satisfied. Wu Zhi had already uttered the most important words, and told Ye Qingling the most important feelings.

Ye Qingling… If only… it was possible for you to like Wu Zhi less…

At the very least, you won’t be this crazed… At the very least… you won’t be so sad during our separation… You who liked Wu Zhi this much… was really far too heartwrenching…

A teardrop slipped from the corner of his eye. Not because of fear, but because of separation. At last, Wu Zhi’s lips curved into a grin. It was Ye Qingling’s favorite smile. The glimmer in the wheelchaired young raven’s eyes gradually dissipated, leaving behind a deathly still filth of darkness.

So, this was the final stage.

He didn’t even have enough time to tell that person that, since that moment, his birthday wish had only been one:

If he had known earlier that their ending would be like this, he would’ve wished if Ye Qingling had never liked Wu Zhi. He’d rather they had always been strangers.

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