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Xiao Bing had been leaving early and returning late for the past six months. Her director would routinely make rounds of the wards at seven o’clock, and she had to rush to the hospital before then, after which she would follow her director together with seven or eight doctors to greet the patients in each ward.

Sometimes I would be half asleep at night when I would hear the door. Xiao Bing would quietly come in and go to the bathroom to wash up. She would move very swiftly, completing the entire process of washing her face and brushing her teeth in ten minutes, then she would creep into bed.

Sometimes her schedule would be full of operations, performing three or four a day—spinal surgeries that had been streamlined but were still full of risks, and each were unique. Chen Ruobing served as the deputy’s assistant and would come back very late on days she had operations.

One time I asked Xiao Bing, “Do you really like being a doctor?”

She nodded.

I laughed, “You don’t even care about your daughter? I’ve never seen anyone so stupid!”

It was morning that day, and Chen Ruobing had come back late the night before. When she woke up, sunlight was already flooding into the bedroom.

Chen Ruobing stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling window and pulled open the curtains. When she turned around, the sunlight illuminated her hair and even turned her entire body a translucent gold. The thirty-three year old Chen Ruobing smiled at me, like she was standing on a rooftop when we were sixteen years old.

I suddenly said, “Let me do your makeup.”

“Why?”

“Nothing. I’ve never seen what you look like with makeup, so I want to see.”

Because it was necessary for work, I would sometimes put on light makeup, but Xiao Bing was always bare-faced. I was excited now and sat her down in front of the mirror, then took out my makeup supplies.

Xiao Bing stared at herself in the mirror, and I began to apply powder as I lowered my head to look at her face. Xiao Bing simply closed her eyes.

“Back in school, when the class participated in the school chorus one time, you were the one who did my makeup,” Xiao Bing said.

I raised her chin, held her forehead with my left hand, and drew on her eyeliner with my right hand. Her right eyelid tensed subconsciously, and her eyelashes on the other side trembled on my other hand.

“Don’t remember?” she asked.

I soon finished her eyeliner. Xiao Bing had a small mole on one of her cheeks, which I had discovered long ago. I made use of the timely sunlight to try to cover it up with concealer.

“The time with that really ugly purple dress?”

“Yeah.” Xiao Bing closed her eyes and laughed, “That dress was pretty low-cut, so you yelled about stuffing sponges into our chests, and you even wanted to stuff it in for me!”

“Haha, I remember that.”

I did her makeup for a while and thought the concealer was too thick, so I wiped the area with a wet sponge, revealing the small mole again.

“You were really brave back then,” Xiao Bing laughed as she said with a bit of pride, “You always thought differently from others.”

I applied a bit of blush and felt that she immediately brightened up.

“You would play until you were drenched in sweat, and once you settled down, you could still chat with me for a long time.

“I would wonder about what kind of boyfriend you should find. I should have tried imagining all kinds, but if I thought about who you would marry, it just wouldn’t feel right. It would be giving it to him too easy. No matter who he was, he wouldn’t be good enough for you.”

Xiao Bing opened her eyes and giggled as she said, “I thought the same way about girls.”

I snorted and applied brick-red lip gloss on her.

“It’s different now.” Xiao Bing looked at herself in the mirror then sighed, “I’m old, I really do need to put on makeup before I go out now.”

I hugged her neck and looked into the mirror with her. “You’re only how old?”

“But I can’t wear a mask if I do my makeup.” Xiao Bing thought for a moment. “With a mask on, there’s no need to wear makeup either.”

“Mhm, no need,” I said.

During Spring Festival that year, there were fewer patients in the hospital. I asked my cousin to watch the little one for the weekend and invited Xiao Bing to go to Chongli with me. Xiao Bing agreed for the first time ever.

We carpooled with a few people in a friend’s car. I was quite close with the other three people in the car, but it was the first time they met Xiao Bing, so it was a bit quiet in the beginning. Half an hour later, we were chatting up a storm as usual. People in the skiing circle worked in all kinds of fields and came from various backgrounds, but because of our love for skiing and from eating and hanging out together, it was easy to become acquainted with each other.

No matter what we talked about, Xiao Bing mostly stared out the window without speaking. I knew that it was just how she was but the others didn’t. Later when we arrived at the resort and a few of us were sitting in the ski lift, Kuan Ge said, “Xiao Bing is really quiet.”

“Have you ever seen a talkative goddess?” I countered.

“I think you and your goddess don’t suit each other!” he joked.

“How do we not suit each other?”

“Doctors are all very meticulous; how did someone careless like you chase after a goddess?”

“I’m careless?” I turned my head to look at Xiao Bing. “Ask her yourself, if I don’t prepare moisturizer for her, she could just go out without putting anything on.”

Xiao Bing looked up at me. I could imagine her curved eyes hidden behind her ski goggles.

The ski lift ascended for a while, and I stood up, facing the mountain, and told Xiao Bing about the place that had accompanied me for three winters.

“Over there is Golden Dragon Trail. The snow is thick and there are woods on one side, and it’s the best track in terms of snow conditions on windy days. Underneath us right now is Silver Dragon Trail. There’s a section in the middle that’s easy and wide, so it’s very comfortable to ski on. Those two are where I ski the most. That’s the west end. There are many forest paths, and the trees are quite dense. I almost peed myself the first time they took me in there.”

“On sunny days, the trails are golden, and you can see the mountains in the distance. You can’t see as much when it snows, but the snow is like fog when it’s blown around, so skiing feels like flying in the clouds!”

“Don’t listen to her,” Kuan Ge said beside me. “When the wind is blowing, it’s like flying in a wave of knives.”

Although she was encouraged for a while beforehand, once we got up the mountain, Xiao Bing was still terrified, and when we got to the final slope, she wouldn’t ski it no matter what. When I took off my skis later, I placed Xiao Bing’s on the mountain and put mine upright. I pointed at the head of the ski and said, “Let’s sit and slide down.”

We sat down, one in front and one behind. I held tightly onto Xiao Bing.

As we went faster, it became windier and windier on both sides. I needed to sway left and right to maintain our balance. Xiao Bing was screaming in terror, and I was also yelling in excitement.

I withdrew my feet in front of a snow bump by the entrance to the hall. We fell in softly, as if plunging into a steamed bun.

“Exciting? Haha.”

Xiao Bing took off her helmet and shouted at me, “You lied to me! Sliding down was even faster!”

“Weren’t you scared? I just wanted to get you down the mountain faster.” I patted the snow off her body.

“You’re terrible!” Xiao Bing came over and hit me angrily. “That scared me to death.”

“With guts like yours, how can you perform surgery on people!”

We fought in the snow for a while and were worn out. Xiao Bing clamored about going back to the hall to rest. I pulled her arm and said, “Just one more time, let’s go to Ersuo. It’s very beautiful over there, and the slope is gentle.”

“Not lying to me?” Xiao Bing stared and asked. Her cheeks were flushed, and her two rows of straight, white teeth chattered as she spoke, releasing white mist that quickly dispersed.

“I am absolutely not lying to you,” I said.

Ersuo was a ski lift up the mountain that was built a few years ago. It was very simple and required you to manually pull down the front railing. When we sat down, there was no cover, and it would often creak beneath our bottoms.

It was a clear day, and the ski lift moved very slowly. The humid wind on the snow blew in our faces.

“It’s too slow. They should renovate this ski lift,” I said.

The sun shone on one side of the trail, and each snow bump created a pattern of light and shade. There weren’t many people on the trail, and we could even hear the voices of a few kids skiing.

Xiao Bing and I sat in the slow, horizontally-moving ski lift. The pine tree branches were clear and distinct, reaching upward all the way to our feet. It was very still around us.

“So beautiful,” Xiao Bing said, “So quiet.”

That afternoon, Xiao Bing was tired from skiing and waited for me in the hall. At five o’clock in the evening, I collected my skis and went down the mountain. She asked me if I had skied six rounds in the afternoon and said that although it was her first time seeing me in snow gear, she could recognize me at a glance sitting in front of the second story window.

That evening, she said she had a great time, although she couldn’t chime in when we were eating with friends.

I knew that this was just Xiao Bing. She looked out of place with the people around her and was unwilling to feel wronged and try to change, but she had a gentle heart.

One weekend later on, I took the girls to go skiing, and the little one had a great time. Xiao Bing was very happy with this and said that she hoped the little one would be like me and not follow her lead. But I told the little one, “It’s best to be like your mother.”

Translator’s Notes

1. I’ve been translating it as “skiing” but I think they may be talking about snowboarding because it would make more sense to sit on a snowboard than a ski. It was kind of hard to tell because the word for skiing can be used interchangeably with snowboarding. Back

2. This is referring to a 馒头, which is a Chinese steamed bun that is white and soft. Back

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