Chapter 5

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On December 23rd of that year, the temperature suddenly dropped to negative ten degrees. For setting-up exercises that morning, the students filed out of the building. Back then, our school had a sick rule that we weren’t allowed to wear heavy jackets when doing our exercises, especially those long types of jackets. I was shivering with cold that day and haphazardly waved my arms around in the schoolyard and jumped a few times. In front of me, Chen Ruobing had low morale and moved weakly as well.

After the exercises, everyone walked back in small groups. Chen Ruobing came over and said, “My parents are going on a business trip tonight. Is it okay if I go to your house?”

“Huh? Sure.”

My mood suddenly lightened, and I teased, “Did you bring a change of underwear?” Then I said to myself, “It’s okay, you can wear mine.

That night, Chen Ruobing came to my house for the second time. After dinner, we plopped down on a desk to finish our homework. I remembered that we had learned something about function transformations in math that day and doing my homework made my head hurt, but fortunately Chen Ruobing was there. For the first time, I felt the strong desire to have a sister. She and I could do our homework together, watch movies, write things, and share all the secrets of teenage girls. Every day, she and I would share a bed, our souls connected.

I mistakenly thought I could just get along with any sister like this, when in reality, it couldn’t exactly work that way with a real sister.

After we finished our homework, Chen Ruobing went to take a shower. I remembered that she really hadn’t brought a change of clothes, so I took a fresh pair of underwear out of my dresser and went to the bathroom door.

“Hey, I got you a pair of underwear.”

I waited for a while and didn’t hear her say anything. Since my mom was the only one at home that day, Chen Ruobing had left the door ajar, so I pushed it open and walked in.

The bathroom was misty, and I shouted “I’m putting the underwear here,” as I threw them onto the washing machine next to me.

Chen Ruobing saw me and said an “Okay.”

Just as I was about to turn and leave, I suddenly caught sight of Chen Ruobing behind the fog that was gradually dissipating because I had opened the door. Her back was to me, and there were five or six startling red marks on her waist and thighs.

The marks were very apparent, and one of them on her leg had turned slightly purple. I stared blankly and couldn’t move a step.

By this time, Chen Ruobing had finished washing and turned the shower off. Sensing that I hadn’t left, she covered the front of her body with a towel and turned sideways to me as she said, “Hold on, I’m almost done.”

“Turn around and let me see.” I heard that my voice was low and a bit cold.

Chen Ruobing remained motionless, her eyes reddening from the steam.

I felt all the blood in my veins surge to my head. I stepped forward and grabbed her towel, tearing it away.

Around Chen Ruobing’s small but semicircular breasts, there were another seven or eight bruises scattered around. On her right nipple, there was a deep red scab.

I stared at her wounds. I had a theory in my mind, and what I imagined with this theory made me feel the urge to kill someone. I threw the towel away, turned, and walked out.

Back in the bedroom, it was quite dark and only a desk lamp was turned on. It had started snowing outside at some point. The humidifier was on in the house, making it warm and humid. There was a layer of mist on the glass, but I could see snowflakes plastered on the surface.

In the night, Chen Ruobing and I laid in bed, surrounded by an unusual silence, and it seemed like I could hear the sound of the snow falling.

I asked, “Was it him?”

Chen Ruobing softly said “Mhm.”

I then asked, “Does it hurt?”

She let out another “Mhm.” Chen Ruobing then shifted her body over, and I reached out and held her.

“I really wanted to tell you these past few days, but something held me back.” Chen Ruobing carefully buried her head into my chest. I felt the hot breath she exhaled as she spoke pour onto me.

“I originally wanted to… tell you now.”

She was so thin that I could clearly feel her ribs.

“You’ll break up with him, right?”

“Yeah, we already broke up.”

She and I stayed in this position until my body felt stiff. I found that the skin on my chest was wet with Chen Ruobing’s tears.

Chen Ruobing fell asleep after a while, but I was slow to. My heart was filled with malice and anguish, and it was as if I could now understand every murderer and arsonist. I craved for landslides, hurricanes, tsunamis—anything was fine.

It was Christmas Eve the next day, and every class would have a party in the evening after school. The empty table in the back of our class was filled with bought cakes, snacks, and drinks. After our first period English class, I walked to the back of the classroom, and under the table filled with snacks, I saw a case of drinks with several bottles of beer next to it. I suspected it was a gutsy sports committee member who had bought them.

I picked up a bottle of beer and turned it upside down in my hand. It wasn’t very heavy, but it was enough. I walked to the front of Yang Xu’s seat. Sensing that I was staring at him, he looked up. Without saying a word, I smashed the beer-filled bottle directly onto his head.

A stream of beer mixed with blood immediately ran down his forehead.

I heard Chen Ruobing shout from the side, “Sha Yu!”

I smiled at Yang Xu and softly said, “You think you’re so great? You don’t even deserve one of her toes.”

Yang Xu only came back to his senses when his shirt was soaked. He reached out and grabbed my collar.

I held my head high and stared at him fiercely. Yang Xu’s expression gradually eased from his initial look of anger. In the end, he said in a small voice, “I like her, but she doesn’t like me that much.”

I didn’t answer him and only sneered, “Let go.”

Yang Xu’s hand left my shirt. At this time, the teacher, who had been called over by a frightened student, was glaring at us and asked what was going on.

Neither Yang Xu nor I spoke. The teacher took two students to accompany Yang Xu to the hospital. The classroom was in chaos as the smell of fresh beer hung in the air.

Translator’s Notes

1. Setting up exercises are exercises done during break in Chinese schools that all students must participate in, in which all students gather outside to do them. Back

2. I just want to mention that no matter how emotional you are, you should never do this to someone without their consent! Back

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