Chapter 9

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The days peacefully and slowly went on like this.

At that time, my cousin’s class reached the busiest period of senior year, yet Lin Che confessed to me.

If I had heard what he said at the very beginning of freshman year, I would have said yes without any hesitation. It was only that he said it too late.

Sometimes I would wonder if it was because I had been with Chen Ruobing for so long that these strange feelings emerged. That it wasn’t “like,” at least not in the general sense. If I had dated Lin Che at first, would I not have had to go through such hardships?

But life wasn’t a math problem that you could substitute a new hypothesis in and derive a clear answer.

During that time, I could hardly get along with Chen Ruobing as naturally and comfortably as before. Each day of school became a painful and joyful experience, an adventure with no known ending.

I didn’t know whether it was an illusion, but I felt as if Chen Ruobing had drifted away from me even though we still spent a lot of time together every day. When she and I were feeling the breeze on the roof again, we would deliberately find something to talk about. Sometimes there was nothing to say, and I would hear my own thumping heart.

I no longer had the calm, open attitude I used to have.

The boys in my cousin’s class didn’t have much time to play basketball, so I played with a group of boys in my grade. In class five, there was someone named Liu Yufei, who had a wheatish complexion and a great jump, and he was one of the few people at the time who could dunk.

I didn’t know when it started, but after last period every day, he would routinely stand at the door and call me over to play basketball.

Sometimes I would go with him and sometimes I was busy, so I would yell to him from my seat, “I’m not playing today!” Then he would say “Okay” and turn around, bouncing the ball as he left. The thud of the ball as it hit the floor would ring throughout the hallway for a long time.

One afternoon after Chen Ruobing and I finished lunch, we discovered that there was a new kind of dried plum at the snack counter. Each of us bought a pack and strolled over to the passageway between the second and third building. The passageway was flanked by windows with two benches beneath them. Chen Ruobing sat down on the side by the schoolyard and ate her dried plums as she stared out the window. I stood next to her, leaning against the windowsill, and stared outside as well.

“Have you written another novel lately?” I asked her.

“No, I’ve been uninspired.” Chen Ruobing thought for a moment and said, “About that story we wrote before, I think your changes were good, but…”

“But what?”

“It’s not very realistic. In that era, girls who weren’t married and had no kids wouldn’t even be guaranteed the most basic standard of living. And with what they were taught from a young age, it was hard for them to break through ideological shackles,” Chen Ruobing said and heaved a sigh. “She wouldn’t be happy.”

“I guess so.” I turned my head to look at her. “You can write about time travel, then it would be fine. Modern people think differently.”

“It’s the same in modern times,” Chen Ruobing said as she looked into the distance.

At this moment, cheers came from the schoolyard from a few people sitting on the sidelines wearing eighth grade school uniforms. On the basketball court, Liu Yufei was high-fiving his teammates.

I had no time to think about it, because at that moment, all of my energy was focused on coping with my nerves and handling my conversation with Chen Ruobing.

“I think Liu Yufei’s a good guy.” Chen Ruobing’s expressionless voice reached my ears. “I think you should go out with him.”

I silently watched the group of people on the court and although my heart was churning, I couldn’t say a word in rebuttal. The dried plums I had just bought were sweet, tangy, and delicious, but by now they were so bitter that I could no longer swallow them.

I felt as if I were a cancer patient in self-denial, who was one day discovered by a doctor to have uncontrollable cancer cell growth, then was brutally issued the verdict.

I remembered that that afternoon, I didn’t recover for a long time after Chen Ruobing said those things. Until the afternoon bell rang and we stood up and returned to the classroom, I didn’t say one word to her.

That afternoon, Liu Yufei came to find me again. He called for me at the door, and I once again looked toward Chen Ruobing. With her head lowered, she continued writing and there was what appeared to be a physics workbook on the table.

I stood up and followed Liu Yufei out of the classroom, feeling so hurt that I was about to cry.

I thought I was simply ridiculous. What was there to feel hurt about?

Until it was late that day, I tirelessly ran, did lay ups, and shot the ball. Just like that day I ran 3000 in the sports meet, I ran until I was numb.

“Still not going home?” Liu Yufei asked me.

“I don’t want to.”

“Oh, are you thirsty?”

“Yes.”

So he ran to the cafeteria.

By now, the few people that were playing basketball had left. I hesitated, then sat on the sidelines to wait for Liu Yufei.

A moment later, Liu Yufei ran back and handed me a bottle of chilled cola. I took a sip, greatly refreshing my entire body. The anger that had been suppressed in my heart seemed to evaporate along with my sweat.

The sky appeared a dark blue, and the last rays of the sunset shot out from behind, painting the school’s glass windows a layer of red.

Liu Yufei turned his head and looked at me, then suddenly said, “Your hair is wet.”

I reached up and grabbed my ponytail, finding that the ends of my hair were stuck together, and the back of my t-shirt had gotten wet from the tips of my hair.

The next day, I attracted gazes from many people. One, because I had cut my hair short, and two, I had become Liu Yufei’s girlfriend.

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