Chapter 24

Ah, so it was like that . . .

I had expected that.

However, when I saw him actually clutching the picture frame, a chill ran down my spine.

I had hoped they would be different people. My head felt dizzy and lightheaded.

I felt like running away from this place. But that wouldn’t solve anything. It would only make me suffer more than I do now.

“ . . . That person’s name is Haruka, right?”

I don’t like tedious conversations so I cut straight to the point. I could easily imagine what kind of response I would get, but I still wanted him to deny it.

However, that faint hope was shattered in an instant. The look of surprise on Akira’s face illustrated his feelings eloquently.

“Wh- why . . .”

“I heard she was your ex-fiancée? It’s weird for me to say this, but I was very surprised when I first saw her and she looked so much like me when I crossdressed.”

A murky voice came out, surprising even me. Akira, who was always so unruffled, widened his eyes and expressed a look of confusion, wondering what was going on.

That was to be expected. He probably thought I didn’t know anything.

“Someone told me about it. Well, that said, it was just hearsay.”

Because of that, I had a fight with Yuki today, someone who I thought of as my best friend!

When I realized that Akira was the cause of all this, I somehow felt irrationally angry.

That’s right, if Akira had never approached me in the first place, Yuki and I would still be best friends.

“Don’t ask a dumb question like ‘Who told you that?’ because I’m not gonna tell you.”

“No, I won’t ask you that.”

“I’ve always thought that it was weird. I wondered why you’d only focus on me . . . Today, I finally got it. You’ve always thought of me as a substitute for Haruka, right?”

“What?”

Akira furrowed his brow, dumbfounded. I got even more annoyed seeing his expression.

“Substitute? What are you talking about all of a sudden?”

“If not, then what is it? Am I just something to use to pass your time? You’d be fine with anyone who looks like Haruka, don’t you? Luckily, I’m a guy so you don’t have to deal with any troublesome risk.”

As I said that, I started to feel more and more miserable about myself. My eyes were burning and the bridge of my nose was aching. But, I couldn’t cry here.

I bit my lips and clenched my fist tightly.

“Whoa, there. Who said that I was fine with just anyone—”

“It’s the truth. You happened to be looking for someone on a dating app to drown your loneliness and unexpectedly saw me, who looked just like Haruka. You must have thought that you were lucky.”

“No! I never thought of you as a substitute or anything like that!”

“Then what? If I’m not her substitute, why would you do those things the first time we met?! Not only on that day, you’ve also been doing a lot of sexual harassment-like things to me all this time!”

“That’s—”

Akira stumbled over his words. See, he can’t answer me back.

“Have you ever put yourself in my shoes, constantly having my feelings disrupted by your selfish actions?”

“No . . .”

“I was swept away by your words and actions, swinging between joy and sorrow. Your suggestive manner made my heart race . . . Did you not feel anything, seeing me like that? Did you think that Haruka wouldn’t find out because she passed away? Or even if she did find out, did you only think of me as a convenient toy that you could just throw away if you were tired of me?”

I couldn’t even tell what I was saying anymore. I didn’t want to speak in a way that would demean myself, but it was the truth. I couldn’t help it.

“Wa- wait! Haru! I never thought of you that way—”

“I’m not ‘Haru’!”

When I snapped back at him, Akira held his breath. If I continued talking any longer, I would become more and more miserable, and I would even say things I didn’t want to say.

“Enough, I’m going home!”

I pushed away Akira, who still seemed to want to say something, and headed for the front door.

If I stayed here any longer, I would lose control of my emotions. I was sure I would scream and cry for no reason.

I didn’t want to show Akira any more of my pathetic side.

When I opened the door, it was still raining heavily. On top of that, the temperature had dropped significantly from before.

As I was about to storm out of the room, Akira grabbed my arm.

“Let go of me!”

“. . . I know. Sorry . . . You probably won’t believe me no matter what I say now, so . . . Here, at least use an umbrella if you want to go home.”

“. . .”

He pushed the umbrella toward me. I was very confused. But, a small sacrifice might be necessary to solve this problem. I snatched the umbrella from Akira, who still looked as if he wanted to say something, and left the apartment without saying much farewell greeting.

My chest hurt, as if it had been gouged out by a knife. My legs felt like lead and my steps were shaky.

The distance until I reached my house felt unusually longer than usual.

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