Chapter 25

Is calling me by that username the proof that I’m special?

In the dimly lit room, I plopped down on my bed and buried my face in my pillow. When I closed my eyes, it made me remember the conversation from the other day, and a deep, deep sigh escaped me.

A few days after that day, I had a fever for the first time in a long while. I hadn’t missed a day of school since my early years, in elementary school.

Well, I guess it was only natural, considering I was drenched by the February rain so many times. I think being mentally exhausted was another factor.

Too many things happened on that day. When I thought back on it, my heart still felt painful and helpless.

The first two months after meeting Akira, my days were like a roller coaster.

Even though I hated him at first, before I realized it, I got used to him being by my side. Every time he teased me or did lewd things to me, my heart would race and my chest would ache.

Even the fact that Akira called me Haru felt natural now. It was just like . . . calling a friend by a nickname. I also came to think of it as something normal and thought that it would always be that way.

I’m an idiot . . .

I selfishly assumed that the reason Akira called me Haru and wouldn’t let anyone else call me that, was because I was special to him. Maybe that was what I wanted to believe.

Even though that wasn’t true . . .

It was Haruka who was special, not me.

The one in his eyes was never me.

“I don’t want . . . that.”

Being a substitute for someone—?

I want Akira to see me, not a substitute for someone else.

To think the moment I realized my feelings for him, I was already rejected . . .

It was all over for me—

“Haha . . . I’m so lame . . .”

My dry, self-ironic laugh made my chest tighten even more.

I wonder if things would have been any different if I had realized my feelings a bit sooner.

I supposed nothing would have changed. Because Akira never liked me.

Akira liked girls. In the end, I was just a substitute for his girlfriend. I misunderstood and became excited on my own, being swept away . . . Seriously, I really felt like an idiot.

I wiped my tears against my pillow. As I took deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself down, I heard the bell ring.

I could hear the sound of my mom’s voice responding to it at the front door, then the sound of footsteps slowly climbing up the stairs followed by.

The sound stopped in front of my room’s door.

“Takumi, your teacher came to see you.”

A teacher? Did she mean Akira?

“Just say that I’m in bed with a fever!”

“What nonsense are you talking about? Your fever has already gone down.”

Almost at the same time I hurried to slip under the covers, the sound of a door opening could be heard and a tired voice sounded.

Ugh. At least knock first. There was something called privacy, and there were times when one didn’t want to meet someone.

“I’d like to talk with Takumi, could you excuse us for a moment?”

However, I heard a voice from what I had imagined.

When I slowly peeked from under the covers, I saw Mr. Masuda looking at me with a wry smile. “What are you, a snail?”

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