Chapter 74

Parsed with an automated reader. The content accuracy is not guranteed.

The room gradually blurred and darkened as the sun set on the horizon. Fang Yu stood by the window, his lonely figure reflected on the transparent glass. The cigarettes between his fingers were still burning while wisps of white smoke surrounded him. Dozens of cigarette butts were littered on the window sill. The room was shrouded in a smoky haze and it was no longer as clean and tidy as it was before.

Fang Yu didn’t know how he came to this situation. Since he left the house that day, he hadn’t talked to Lin Moyan. He picked up his mobile phone many times, his finger hovering over Lin Moyan’s contact, but, in the end, he could only give up. On the third day after he left, he returned to the house. He even thought it would be fine. It’s better to just see him even if he didn’t love him. Nothing mattered as long as Lin Moyan was by his side.

However, when he returned, he was only greeted with silence. All traces of Lin Moyan had disappeared into thin air and it was as if he had never lived here.

The only thing he wanted to do was call the person, only then would he be at peace. He had been used to the warm house that had Lin Moyan in it. Seeing the empty and cold house, a deep fear entered Fang Yu. He was afraid that he would be alone for the rest of his life. Living such a life would be too painful.

He took out his cell phone to call Lin Moyan with his hands trembling. As he dialled the number, he kept on muttering under his breath, “Lin Moyan, Lin Moyan, Lin Moyan.”

However, the response from the phone was a monotonous and frosty voice- “I’m sorry, the phone you dialled has been turned off.”

He called several times and received the same response without fail. After multiple automated replies, Fang Yu’s mind gradually calmed down. Only then did he remember that his original decision was to take a step back and give the other party a chance to think clearly.

For some time afterwards, Fang Yu endured, using cigarettes to paralyze his yearning for that person and his urge to take the person back home.

He could see Lin Moyan at school every day but he could not get close to him. Every time he saw Lin Moyan’s look of indifference, he wanted to tear apart that look and make him show another emotion. Fang Yu couldn’t help but suspect that he had done something wrong. He shouldn’t have made any concessions at all. He should have tied the person tightly to him so that he could never escape.

T/N: Didn’t I say his personality is kind of twisted lol Here’s a sneak peek (if u can call it that)- there’s a small piece of information that will be shown soon and it once again shows that he’s not really uh normal I guess

Even if Lin Moyan didn’t love him, it was fine. He only needed to have this person be by his side for the rest of his life. But what he longed for most was Lin Moyan’s genuine love. So, he suppressed the urge to imprison the person he loved and waited patiently with gritted teeth.

He didn’t know how long he could wait, maybe he could wait today but, what about tomorrow? Would he lose control and imprison his beloved? Fang Yu pinched out the cigarette that was about to burn out and smiled bitterly.

He had always been patient when waiting, but when it came to Lin Moyan, every second of waiting was pure suffering, comparable to being burned by fire. Fang Yu lit another cigarette, placed it between his lips and took a breath. The choking smell of smoke rushed into his mouth and clouded his face. He originally smoked to distract himself but now, the irritating smell of the smoke made him even more aggravated.

Squinting his eyes, Fang Yu took a few puffs before extinguishing the cigarette. The cigarette was burned out but his longing for Lin Moyan didn’t ease one bit. Fang Yu threw himself on the bed in the bedroom, trying to use sleep to forget about the ache in his heart for even a bit but their memories together flooded his mind.

Lin Moyan had slept in this bed. Their relationship started on this very bed. From sleeping on this bed alone to the stomach ache he had and finally to the nightmares that Lin Moyan couldn’t wake up from. Everything had happened here.

Lin Moyan’s dependence on him had increased a little bit but his love for Lin Moyan had grown exponentially.

Fang Yu tossed and turned on the bed, unable to sleep. The quilt on his body smelled vaguely like Lin Moyan which deeply fascinated him. It was a surprise that small traces of him still lingered in the room. Fang Yu was lying on the bed facing the ceiling. He stared at the dim ceiling while images of Lin Moyan flashed by in his mind.

He grabbed the phone next to his pillow and opened a folder in his photo album. He stared intently at the first photo before swiping to the next one and repeating the same thing. The focus of every picture was his beloved Lin Moyan. There was his serious side face in class, his sleepy face when he had just woken up with his mouth covered with toothpaste foam, and his half-hidden face in the quilt as well as him sleeping on Fang Yu’s chest.

Every photo was taken when Lin Moyan wasn’t paying attention. Lin Moyan was a person who didn’t like taking photos so whenever he found out that Fang Yu had taken a picture of him, he would demand Fang Yu to delete them and Fang Yu would do so obediently. Fang Yu could only take pictures in secret when Lin Moyan relaxed his vigilance.

Fang Yu swiped the photos and zoomed in on one of the photos, examining Lin Moyan’s face and gently pressing a kiss to him. The entire night, Fang Yu did not sleep even a wink. He repeatedly stared at the photos to relieve his desperate longing and heartache for Lin Moyan.

When the sun finally came up, he got out of bed sluggishly while massaging his temple. He took a cold shower to re-energise himself and get through the whole day of classes, Student Union work and also to see Lin Moyan.

When the class bell rang, Fang Yu stepped into the classroom at the last minute. Instead of sitting next to Lin Moyan as before, he walked a few more steps and picked a random spot in the last few rows. Fang Yu didn’t listen to the contents of the lecture at all. He stared at the person who had his head lowered and was diligently taking down notes without turning around once. Fang Yu’s eyes traced every inch of Lin Moyan as if wanting to engrave this person deeply into his mind and heart.

When will this person come back to him again? When can I hug him again? When can I kiss him again?

Fang Yu couldn’t help feeling a little frightened. Even though he was certain that Lin Moyan would come back to him, two weeks had passed. Lin Moyan still showed no signs of returning to him at all. Seeing his lack of action, Fang Yu started doubting himself wondered if he had been wrong.

The other party had been avoiding contact with him, both physical and eye contact. They would sometimes come face to face with each other but Lin Moyan would walk past him indifferently without even sparing Fang Yu a glance.

Fang Yu was afraid. He was afraid that Lin Moyan’s previous changes and dependence were all false, he was afraid that Lin Moyan hadn’t liked him even a little bit, afraid that he would never receive Lin Moyan’s love in this life.

If so, then he could only cruelly hold Lin Moyan firmly in the palm of his hand and force him to stay by his side. It was the worst and most desperate approach. He couldn’t bear the pain, couldn’t bear to extinguish his hope like this, couldn’t bear to treat Lin Moyan like this.

However, if this was the only way to get Lin Moyan, he would do it without hesitation.

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