V3C7

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007

As he felt the blood gradually exchange, Xie Zhi An’s eyelids were a bit heavy. He felt that he might not be able to make it. Nevertheless, he forced himself to gather some spirit, like those countless times he would be with Fu Yuan, constantly using pain to wake himself up.

“Fu xiao Yuan, you were right- I am a quack.”

He lifted his hand to seal the other person’s muting vital point, then used his hand to cover his own eyes, lowly laughed, afraid to see the other person’s suspicious and defensive gaze.

“Since I was small, I never liked medicine. All the things this body is capable of was originally learned for you. Who knew- Xie Zhi An lived for Fu Yuan, that Doctor Xie lived for a demon head.”

“In the beginning when I saw the guard up in your eyes, I was so upset- even though clearly we had such a good relationship before. Although it was me who shamelessly stuck onto you, you didn’t reject it once, did you? And even at the very end, slowly, you opened yourself up to me and accepted me.”

“You are exactly like when you were little, even if you lost all your memories, you are still the same.”

Xie Zhi An did not want to be unable to see Fu Yuan in the end, but when he saw the other person’s eyes go red, the corners of his eyes could not help but ache, “I really liked you, and also wanted for you be alright. Indeed, I wanted to roam the tens of thousands of miles of mountains and rivers. But you know, Demon Head- what I really loved most, was to gaze at every star in the sky with you.”

“Each day after you left, I would always open the windows to take a look, and think that perhaps you were like me out gazing. Don’t you think we especially have a tacit understanding of each other?”

“The longing had collected together bit by bit, and in the end, had turned into a profound yearning- longing the person when that person did not know. It wasn’t false that Xie Zhi An lusted for Fu Yuan’s beauty. My selfish motives are actually quite heavy- what I longed for was you.”

“I know you won’t believe me, but…… but can’t you trust me when I tell you I liked you, and not doubt my true heart?”

“I truly, really like you.”

That last sentence, was as though a calm statement, but also seemed to be a small lament. When he saw Fu Yuan unable to endure and close his eyes, Xie Zhi An couldn’t help but quietly sob.

He had not be able to go through a formal ceremony and marry Fu xiao Yuan, and hadn’t even observed humans’ smoke and fire with the other person. He had also not yet been able to tell Fu xiao Yuan: the human realm was an exceedingly beautiful place, but it could not be compared to the Demon Head beneath the large sea of stars, wearing the marriage garments and being slightly tipsy.

All the common people felt he should be killed, but from Xie Zhi An’s view, it seemed to be very unexpected[2].

As his consciousness began to get blurry, the pain from the poison acting up made it hard to bear for Xie Zhi An.

The Demon Head would not only be under the pain of bone engraving, but also had to suffer through this as well?

He tightly held the other person’s hand, and lightly said,

“Demon Head, if there was a day I would be unable to realize our promise, you must help me see those vast skies and earth.”

Having been stranded in a small corner of land, all that he loved and sought, was no other than Fu Yuan.

Next, was then freedom.

When Doctor Xie had once again woke up, he was lying in his own bed. He looked on at his haggard looking father, and somehow felt there was something out of place, “Father, what happened to you?”

“An’er, do you remember what you were doing before you fainted?”

Carefully thinking back, Doctor Xie felt his temples suddenly emit pain, and had a feeling of discomfort, but he could not say what it was exactly.

What he had done…… He could not even think what it was in the slightest, and would somehow feel something was missing.

What was it……. What was it……

His father spoke, “An’er, if you can’t remember it, then you don’t need to remember it. It isn’t anything important.”

Doctor Xie felt there was something not right, but in the familiar and also strange Doctors’ Valley, he couldn’t point out what it was. Every time he felt a bit on edge, he would always sit on the roof of his house, and drink the plum wine he brewed himself, and forget himself in the span of stars in the skies.

However, in such a big place, it would always make people feel empty.

His father said he got poisoned, that there were a few things he forgotten from before, but he and his senior sister were about to get married.

That was right- he couldn’t remember a few things. He didn’t know why he started to study medicine, didn’t know why he would suddenly be so diligent and hardworking, and even didn’t know, at what point in time was his and his senior sister’s relationship that good.

In his own impressions, senior sister and himself should have affections more akin to siblings. But when his senior sister bashfully reddened her face while holding his hands, the familiar act would make him feel not right.

It wasn’t right- something seemed to be not right.

His body was typically healthy, but when took a look at himself, he could clearly feel out the inside of his body have complicated poisons clashing about.

Xie Zhi An previously asked his father, but he said he accidentally ate a newly cultivated poisonous grass.

His father never let him out the Doctors’ Valley. One day, up the mountain, he felt there was someone following behind himself. He used a small pebble to scout towards the direction, and a man that seemed slightly familiar yet unable to remember who came out from behind a tree.

“Who are you?”

“This lowly one is Fu xiao Yuan.”

He thought this person’s name was quite interesting. Although he looked to be a jade tree about to catch wind, he had such a childish name. He felt extremely close to him, and could not help but laugh at the other person, “Why did you enter this Doctors’ Valley?”

“I’m searching for a person for treatment.” The other party pursed their lip, and looked as if he wasn’t feeling quite happy, “But the Valley’s master said there was no way of treating it.”

Xie Zhi An suddenly grew an interest, “Oh? What kind of sickness is it?”

Fu xiao Yuan fixedly looked at him, and in the end, smiled toward him, as though a bit awkward, “It’s nothing, the person who can save, is no longer here.”

“My condolences.” Not knowing why, he felt a bit hurt for this man in front of him that seemed to be a bit down. The corners of his mouth rounded, and as though pouring all the kindness out of himself, “If you don’t find it boring, do you want to go with me up the mountain to pick herbs?”

“This is dancing crane cobra lily, its properties are bitter pungent, and warm, it has effects of eliminating dampness and phlegm, and dispelling wind[2] and convulsions.”

“This is a cardamon, it has pungent and warm properties, has effects of stimulating appetite and helping with digestion, and promotes circulation of warmth.”

“I don’t know if you’ve heard of this poem before, it starts with- in distant memories of pinellia and dancing crane cobra lilies, cubiloses mutter while cardamon listen……[3]“

Xie Zhi An felt that with this man he’s only seen once, when beside the other person, he himself would always want to chatter away, and take all that he knew and say it all out without stopping, bring out some interesting things to share with the other person, and let him feel his own little happiness.

The other person would patiently lean in to listen carefully, and every once in a while, answer back, to express that he already heard it.

He felt a little embarrassed, but also could not stop himself.

The two climbed up all the way to the top of the mountain valley- all over the earth were flowers flickering, each a small bud, extremely cute. Xie Zhi An was a bit elated. Due to having just climbed up, and his body not being all that well, droplets of sweat as big as beans slipped down the outline of his face. Those little beads of sweat lingered on the tip of his nose, and his lips were pale white- when looking, it would make people’s hearts grow pity.

But he was still smiling- the entire person bathed under the sunlight, like a small little sun radiating warmth, “Look, what I previously said wasn’t wrong, right? This is the Doctors’ Valley most beautiful scenery.”

As the person in front of him overlapped with the figure in his memories, the Demon Head fell into a trance- he did not know if it was might be because the sun was too big, but he lightly spoke, as though afraid to disturb this dream, “En, right, you weren’t wrong.”

[1] 惊鸿一瞥- also means to have a fleeting glimpse (of a beauty). In more literal terms, to catch a glimpse of a surprised swan (flying away).

[2] 祛风- Relieve rheumatic pain, colds, etc.

[3] This is part of a real poem that uses twenty nine types of medicinal herbs, written as a love poem.

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