V4C3

Parsed with an automated reader. The content accuracy is not guranteed.

All instances of his Highness (possessive, like ‘that’s mine/hers/his) will be shortened his(pos.) Highness as so not to be confused with your/her/his Highness (title/address).

003

With a single trip to the borderlands, three years had gone by.

The Emperor had constantly kept in touch through mail with him- for Xu Hao Ran, even if rations were cut, the little Highness’ letters could not be cut. Every time it was hard to endure the treatment of his wounds, he would always need to bring the Highness’ handwriting close to his chest.

Just wait a little longer- wait until he cut down all the thorns for the little Highness, then he will be able to offer up glory and victory with both hands.

There was never a time like this that would make Xu Hao Ran feel that the distance between here and the Capital was this far. He raised his eyes to look up at the sun, yet was unable to see the Capital, as well as his(pos.) Highness.

“How is Brother Hao Ran these few days? I’ve heard the war in the borderlands had still not been suppressed, and haven’t been able to sleep in peace in succession these days. I hope you are able to put your health above all else. I don’t care whether the country is missing a piece or not, but you must not come back disabled.”

“Today, those old antiques in the courts were as stubborn as ever, slow-witted and clumsy. It had made me think back to the look of when you would cover for me, and keep out the winds and rain, my Grand General.”

The person under the candlelight very carefully folded the letter and put it back properly. With the last few words contained in his mouth, he finely savoured it, and felt it especially had a special flavour to it, and even in the following night, felt as though he could even have a wonderful dream.

His little Highness, was waiting for him in the Capital.

So what if there were many people in the little Highness’ heart- as the little Highness had said, the one he worried for most was still him.

So Xu Hao Ran had thought.

Even in battle, when swords scraped through him, he would think about whether the little Highness today had properly eaten, whether he was able to get a good rest, or whether he was thinking about each other just as he was. With just this belief, after all these years, he finally took the head of the leader of the other side, and looked off into the distance towards the direction of the Capital where the Highness was.

He could finally return to the capital- and could finally properly look at his little Highness.

The day before reaching the outside of the city, Xu Hao Ran had especially dressed up cleanly, and looked forward to being able to let the little Highness see his heroic and valiant side. But on the second day while on horseback, after distinctly seeing the person beside the little Highness, the smile on his face had hardened in the next moment.

The smile on the face had slightly turned weak, and after Xu Hao Ran got off the horse, he first knelt down to greet Zhou Jun Yan, then slightly bowed towards the person beside him, “Master.”

The little Highness was still as ever before, unchanging, and only seemed to be a bit taller. His outline also seemed to be more mature, and the entire person was even more extraordinarily handsome, no longer the one going around pulling on his sleeve calling him “Big Brother Hao Ran”. He only slightly nodded towards himself, while his face still hung a smile the same as before, “It’s been a long time, I hope General has been safe and sound.”

Safe and sound? How could one be safe and sound at the borderlands- day and night, he would be unable to get a good sleep, and even in his dreams he would still need to be wary of others whether they had a killing intent toward himself; in war, swords had no eyes[1], and all those scars on his body had already long been countless.

But after seeing the little Highness, all the words that Xu Hao Ran had in his heart were all held down, and he smiled, “Reporting to your Highness, I have not brought disgrace to everyone’s hopes, and have already suppressed the borderlands.”

“With the glory and victory I brought, all will be dedicated to my Emperor.” This was his conviction.

The young man who returned with triumph received the Emperor’s recognition, as well as a mansion and various expensive jewels, so much that other people were jealous and admiring, and could not wait to catch onto any bit of mistake he made at any moment, in hopes of being able to receive a portion in front of the Emperor.

But the Emperor had very much doted on his general- he would ignore all the papers aside, bring his favoured subject with him every time he went out, and even publicly dismiss the officials that questioned the general in the courts.

Xu Hao Ran had also felt the Emperor’s doting had gone too far- every moment, it was like living in that terror that seemed like a dream, trembling with fear, terrified that one day, he would suddenly wake up from it.

But his little Highness would always let him relax his heart, and tell him it was not a problem.

“In the former days, General would always take good care of me. No matter what it was, you would shoulder it for me; at the time when I just ascended the throne and had not stabilized my foundation, it was also you who took on orders and helped me quell the borderland.”

“For me, the General is a part that cannot be missing in my life.” His(pos.) Highness was as good-looking as a dazzling pearl, with his eyes as though only having his figure remaining, “Before, it was General who defended in front of me. Now that I have power, I naturally also want to properly protect you.”

It was very much like honey-sweet poison personally bestowed by the Emperor, but Xu Hao Ran did not believe it willingly. He thought, if it was really true, then he would the world’s most stupid person— to jump down like taking in bitterness as though it was sweet, willingly from the bottom of his heart finishing the poisoned wine that the other person gave in one motion.

His(pos.) Highness had also said, in this world, the only one he could trust was only him.

On the basis of these words from his Highness, he became the capital’s hottest[2] new noble, and at the same time, became the eyesore of all the subjects. As though a blade in the Emperor’s hands, whoever the Emperor wanted to behead, he would devour that subject’s influence and power without a single hesitation.

His Highness would always make fun of him, and his fingers would lift up the corners of his mouth, “My beloved subject, you should smile more. If you always have such a terrible face, there wouldn’t be any lady who would be willing to marry you.”

“These days, there would always be some people coming to me, and ask me whether you have anyone you have in your eyes[3], requesting that I grant a marriage to you.” The Emperor laughed as he spoke, as though not noticing his changes, “You are also not young anymore, if I had not sent you to the borderlands and delayed you, you should have created a family long ago.”

Xu Hao Ran was silent for a moment, and asked, “Then what about your Highness?”

He saw as the corners of his Highness’ mouth fall, and his expression weaken a lot more, “That’s not a problem, I am still young, with nothing to worry over. Furthermore, we just passed the mourning period[4], this matter can be discussed at a later time.”

On the matter of the position of the Empress being vacant, all the subjects had tried to persuade the little Highness not just once to establish an Empress. At first, it was put off with an excuse of ‘the previous Emperor had just passed’. Once the mourning period had been fulfilled, it was ‘the country’s affairs come first’, putting off the matter of establishing an Empress once again.

The other people did not understand, but he understood it very clearly.

What mourning period had not passed, what country affairs were so important- it was all because the little Highness had a person that could not be obtained even if he begged for them, that he would think of, missed, and longed for, but was unable to righteously have this person. For him, he would even shoulder all the pressure everyone gave, only to struggle about, just to be able to obtain that last sliver of opportunity.

But what about him? Was he not also like this? Constantly demanding that at some point in time when his little Highness would be able to turn his head to properly look at him once, at what time would he be able to be willing to make a space in his heart for him, at what time…… At what point in time would he be able to confront his feelings, and give him a response he wanted.

He would stand like this while looking at his(pos.) Highness. Just like a chasm that could not be stepped over, even if the other person was a very short distance away, that he would be able to see them at a glance; he had no way of touching the other person even a single bit.

Just at what time, would his little Highness be able to look at him.

Xu Hao Ran would be like a traveller going through the dessert, thirsting for a single hard-to-get droplet of water, thirsting for his little Highness like so, hoping he would be able to hand out even a smallest bit of tender affection.

Even though it was extremely clear to him- he was simply just his lap dog was all.

Petty and degrading.

[1] Swords/knives don’t have eyes, so if you are cut by one, you cannot blame it. Or, life and death is not up for discussion.

[2] So hot it scalds the hands when you reach for it- be in possession of a lot of power (political).

[3] Or, have eyes-affinity with someone, in other words- love at first sight.

[4] Period in which one observes mourning for their parents. Once the person is buried, the shortest period of mourning is thirty six days, while the longest is three years (assumed this is the one in this case). While in mourning, one cannot participate in marriage/happy events, cannot enter others’ new homes. The end of the mourning period is finished off with woman’s maiden family bringing sacrificial offerings, hold the ceremony and do the burning (joss paper) as well.

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