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Zhao Li Xin did not know exactly why- why he would give up on his identity as a prince; why he would give up on that high position, and willingly become the villainous wife that when mentioned to others would be cast aside and spit upon.

He looked at the girl who was kneeling before his legs crying, and the two elders on the side, as well as the one whom he had previously “exchanged handkerchiefs” with. Zhao Li Xin looked at the man with a frown in front of him and asked, “Was this your idea?”

Was it you who wanted to let these people again witness how malicious I was to cruelly kill your offspring, or perhaps force me to spare this child?

Without waiting for Fu Hong Wen to speak, the elder Fu spoke first, “Princess, Hong Wen is only growing older and older by the day, and yet has no children of his own. This old subject begs of you, can you please show some mercy, and let this child live.”

“I want it to come out of Fu Hong Wen’s own mouth.” Zhao Li Xin’s smile on his face had made it hard for people to tell what mood he was in, but those on the scene all knew it would not be too good, “Fu Hong Wen, you tell me. Did you want to keep this child?”

“I……”

“Fu Hong Wen!”

Fu Hong Wen had just spit out a single word, when his mother called out to him with a shrill cry, “If you don’t keep this child, Mother will follow suit with this unborn child down its path.”

Even the Fu Miao Han who previously had the best relationship with Zhao Li Xin looked on with hatred in her eyes, “Princess, are you truly going to force our family to have no future generation? Think about those previously unborn children, are you not afraid that they would turn to evil spirits to find and claim your life?”

“Fu Miao Han!” Fu Hong Wen roared at Fu Miao Han, scaring her with those thoroughly red eyes.

She had never seen her brother like this, even on that day…… When thinking back to that day, the thing Fu Miao Han had regretted the most this life was to match her brother with Princess Chun An.

Zhao Li Xin calmed looked upon this farce, and only felt cold all over. Just like a dream, these people were extremely unfamiliar to him. The one within his eyes was only that person.

He was just as good looking as before, only, he didn’t know when- his body no longer had the pride and unyielding character of the noble bamboo he once had, nor was he that Grand Tutor that he had admired at first any longer. His Grand Tutor had the world’s brightest pair of eyes, not these pair of red eyes of a beast before him.

“Fu Hong Wen, do you want to keep this child?”

After a long silence, Fu Hong Wen could not stand to look at Zhao Li Xin’s current expression. He turned his head, and arduously spat out a single word, “Yes.”

Hearing that reasonable and unexpected answer, Zhao Li Xin had wanted to laugh a bit, yet could not do so. It was as his good Mother said- it was he who chose the wrong person. He could not blame the person at hand.

“Fu Hong Wen, what of the time you said you would treat me whole-heartedly, and be by each other for a long time?” Zhao Li Xin lightly asked, revealing a smile even uglier than crying, “Do you still remember what you told me when you proposed to me that day? I had previously asked you- for a princess who did not have the favour of the Emperor, is it worth it?”

It is worth it. Oh, he had also said that tens of thousands of citizens had other honest and upright officials to help them, that the Emperor had his wise subjects, and he, Zhao Li Xin, only had Fu Hong Wen.

He had also said, if he could not ever see him smile towards him, he would have a hard time. He wanted to treat him well, and only treat him well in this life time.

He had even specifically asked him, “Grand Tutor, can I take your words to be true?”

It was Fu Hong Wen who said he could.

It should be the middle of the canicular season[1], and yet, it was as though he was standing in the middle of the snowy earth, with vast patches of white all around, causing him to lose his beloved person, and at the same time, lose his sense of direction.

Fu Miao Han saw Fu Hong Wen’s vexed face and unable to bear any longer, and rushed to block her brother at the front, “The Princess should not trouble Brother any further. If Brother did not have any feelings for Princess, and let you do as you please every day, even the nobles of the capital wouldn’t tolerate this.”

What a great sentence- if he did not have feelings for him.

Where was the one who would say he’d bring anything he’d want in front of him? Just where did the Fu Hong Wen who said he was his brilliant pearl who’d shine upon the moon go?

“You got what you wished for, then what of mine? What about me?” A wave of a sweet, rusty taste permeated the inside of Zhao Li Xi’s mouth slowly. He stared straight at Fu Hong Wen, and laughed, “Fu Hong Wen, you take that person- the one who would shoulder a whole bundle of candied gourds, who would be willingly to treat me like a treasure inside the palm atop of his heart, the Fu Hong Wen who would dote on me, and return him back to me, please?”

“Give him back to me, please……. please, apart from him, I don’t have anything else anymore!”

Zhao Li Xin had practically shouted out that last sentence. If he could be like that woman, kneeling on the ground crying as though pear blossoms bathed in rain[2], begging him, and have his Fu Hong Wen come back, he would be willing to throw away his entire dignity to beg him.

He truly had nothing else, apart from him.

Fu Hong Wen had never seen such a sad, shrill, and despairing Zhao Li Xin bore. Just as he reached out his hand, he retracted it back, stopping in midair, with no courage to extend it the entire time, and tell him with a kind smile to not feel bad the entire time.

He lowly laughed, and told Zhao Li Xin a “sorry”.

Zhao Li Xin still remained that “Princess” who could break his heart with a single weep, but he was no longer was that Grand Tutor that could give less of a care and tell him he didn’t mind, that he would be willing, long ago. Fu Hong Wen also knew- after this time, he and Zhao Li Xin could no longer go back.

After all that was said and done, he had still abandoned his brilliant pearl.

Ke ke …… What bone engraving, it was a con all along. He had naively thought if this person’s bones had his name engraved onto it, it would be better than what he was going through today, unable to obtain anything.

As a person of the imperial household, how could he be so stupid as to think someone like him would have the qualifications to receive love from someone else? Wasn’t it clear to him a long time ago?

Even if was a lie, he was still willing to endure it all; why couldn’t Fu Hong Wen just wait a bit, wait until he died, to end this wonderful dream. Why was it that he had let him receive this happiness with such vividness, and then like the mirrors reflecting flowers as the water does the moon[3] , disappear in a blink of an eye, unable to touch it again?

Zhao Li Xin looked at Fu Hong Wen, and smiled, “If you want this child, then just keep it.”

“Thank you Princess for your grace.” The Fu family had breathed a sigh of relief, but Fu Hong Wen could not look him in the eye the entire time.

He coldly observed that woman delicately and touchingly wrap herself around Fu Hong Wen, recounting her agitated feelings from the “narrow escape with death”; and the Fu family who was showing the woman great concern[4] like treating a precious treasure.

He previously had things like that before……

Step by step, Zhao Li Xin walked outside, yet never before had he felt his own steps would be so arduous. As his vision increasingly became a blur, he thought to himself- how nice it would be if he left like this.

If he was gone, he would not encounter that kind of mother and brother in his next life, and never encounter Fu Hong Wen. But when it came to the thought of being unable to see the Fu Hong Wen who smiled at him, how could he have such a hard time?

He now finally knew why Fu Hong Wen would tell him the thought of it[5] would make him have a hard time.

Fu Hong Wen, he is really hurt right now.

Within the blurriness, he blinked a few times- it seemed as though there was a streak of water flowing down his cheeks. Staring into the blinding sunlight, Zhao Li Xin faintly saw a flustered Fu Hong Wen. The one that would look at him as though a treasure whenever in sight, that Fu Hong Wen.

Right now, he truly had nothing left.

[1] Refers to the hottest period of days within a year. Also called dog days.

[2] An idiom to describe a crying beauty.

[3] Read, be an illusion.

[4] Read, ask when one feels hot (in the summer) or feels cold (in the winter)

[5] ‘the thought of him smiling at someone else’

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