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Inside the dim and dark dungeon, the front line of sight was a bit hazy. Forcefully enduring the discomfort, Jiang Zi Yu walked into the deepest part of the dungeon.

Mu Ying Sheng’s body had long already been worn-out. The other person’s face also had a long, hideous scar. After forcing the jailer to have the wooden door opened, when he sat by the other person’s side, and could only hear Mu Ying Sheng softly speak, “You’ve come.”

“En.”

He did not take any mind to whether or not the other person’s hands were dirty at all, and tightly gripped the hand that fell to the side, then brought his head and lightly leaned it against Mu Ying Sheng’s shoulder, “For your name, I even had to beg over and over again for you to tell it to me. I don’t know where you came from, what you’ve encountered, and don’t even know if you’ve ever felt moved by me before, or even liked me.”

“I will rescue you out of here.”

When Mu Ying Sheng was just about to open his mouth, Jiang Zi Yu shook his head, and softly said, “Don’t tell me. I’m afraid I will go back [on my word].”

Afraid that I would have you by my side forever, put in the center of danger.

“Whether you like me or not, it matters not to me any more. So long as I like you, remember you, this would be enough.”

Within the pitch-black dungeon, he tightly held onto the other person’s hand, and felt the other person’s one and only warmth, as though he would not let go even in death. But Jiang Zi Yu knew- this was not a person who would be with him for a life time once he took hold of him.

Afterwards, Jiang Zi Yu once again entered the palace to see the critically ill Emperor. He sat by the bedside wanting to say something to his most beloved Imperial Grandfather, but when he opened his mouth, he did not know where to begin. He also knew he did not have the face(shamelessness) to go beg the other person to forgive himself. At the time before he left, he said a word of “sorry” towards the Emperor.

The day Mu Ying Sheng was to be executed, Jiang Zi Yu long had already let someone swap a prisoner sentenced to death with the other person in the shadows, and just in case if they were inspected when they left the gates, he also had the other person settle in a small courtyard, and planned to wait until situation blew over then have him sent out.

The shame and regret towards Grandfather had made him unable to sleep or eat at ease. He thought, just wait a little longer- wait until he sends Mu Ying Sheng off, and the other person comes out safe and sound, then, he would once again personally go in front of his Imperial grandfather to atone for his crime. But he was unable to wait for that day to come, and instead, the servants of the residence searched for him in terror, told him a fire had been set to the courtyard, and that Mu Ying Sheng was still trapped inside.

He could not spare any time to care for whether his clothes were properly worn. As though the large number of guards outside did not see him, they did not block him off like always. He ran over [to the courtyard], and once he saw the glow of fire that filled the sky, he did not give any more thought and rushed inside. Jiang Zi Yu did not consider whether the dense smoke would suffocate him to death, and only called out in a loud voice, in an attempt to receive a response from Mu Ying Sheng.

At the time he entered the innermost area to find the person, the fires had long already reached to a point of being out of control, and Mu Ying Sheng had long already fallen onto the bed, arduously breathing. Jiang Zi Yu carried the feeble Mu Ying Sheng over his shoulder, “Sheng Sheng, don’t sleep. Let’s go out first.”

Over the course of going out, the wooden beams burnt off from the eaves hit Jiang Zi Yu squarely on the face. The extremely agonizing pain made him drop to his knees, and almost made him lose consciousness. But when he took into account of Mu Ying Sheng, he forcefully endured the pain, had the person carried on his back, and crawled out bit by bit.

As the Young Master that normally did not get stained in spring waters[1], his ten fingers ground down on the dirt almost to the point of bleeding, and the pain that drilled into his heart was as though it seized Jiang Zi Yu’s head, but he could only continuously call out “Sheng Sheng” in attempts to make himself a bit more clear-headed.

At the time they were about to reach the gates, the perilous door frame was soon to fall down. Jiang Zi Yu unconsciously wanted to have the person on top of him protected well, but he had not even done so yet, and instead was held by Mu Ying Sheng and turned to one side. As the lit up wooden frame fell down, he heard a heavy sound, setting alight the other person’s garments, as well as the dense burnt smell twining at the tip of his nose.

Mu Ying Sheng’s tears mixed in with sweat dripped onto Jiang Zi Yu’s face, the other person hazily smiled at him- the first-ever, truly sincere, without any other feelings- simply only a smile towards him. The other person used up the last of his strength, with a back full of fire, and escorted him to the outside.

The person on top of him cut off all the fire, and in the end even separated himself from him. He arduously opened his mouth, with the throat was so hoarse to the point one could not hear the usual tactfulness. He said,

“Don’t look……”

And after that, that person truly became a fire in his eyes.

As he was about to throw himself over, Jiang Zi Yu felt he was being pulled by someone. The bloodstain in front of his eyes blurred his vision, but when he turned his head, he could see the person who grabbed him, Shen Qing Yi. He knelt in front of the other person, and continuously kowtowed, “I beg of you, please save him.”

“Are you not an immortal? I beg of you, save Sheng Sheng. Whatever it is you want, I will give you.”

He could only numbly repeat the movements, and repeat the same words. The other person familiarly raised his chin, and used a handkerchief to gently rub off the blood off his face. Jiang Zi Yu too did not know if he was already paralyzed or if he really could not feel any pain, and let the other person touch the area of his wound.

“It was I who set the fire. It was also me who purposely had the servant call you too.”

Shen Qing Yi’s mouth opened and closed, Jiang Zi Yu thought it was as though he could not understand what the person was saying, and only looked at him in a stupefied manner.

“I was just thinking- for a person who could personally harm your relative, how could you so easily forgive him, and even willingly die for him.”

“Why is it that such a pure of a love as yours, cannot look at me? Even though in the last lifetime, we too were also considered together. When you jumped down, you too also said you forgave me. Why is it that you cannot try to like me?”

“After you are with me, you would not age nor die, I only want to live forever with you- on what basis do you have to beg me to go save a person that I loathe this much?”

Jiang Zi Yu’s eyes held tears. The heat behind his body unceasingly lashed out at him, that he even did not dare to take a look at Mu Ying Sheng’s corpse. Tightly grabbing onto Shen Qing Yi’s sleeve, he clenched his teeth and said, “Shen Qing Yi, you are a lunatic. If you have the skill, then let me die too.”

“What is it exactly that you want to do- I bear no injustice nor hatred against you, Sheng Sheng is also as such. Why must you insist on me like so.”

“If you only want my love, you can go ahead in your dreams.” In the corner of his mouth, blood seeped out.

“In this lifetime, Jiang Zi Yu will only love Mu Ying Sheng his entire life time.”

Regarding the matters after that, he did not remember any more. When he woke up, he was locked inside the room. No matter what it was, Shen Qing Yi would personally attend to it. Other than him, Jiang Zi Yu no longer saw another person.

Inside the house was only a bed and blanket. Jiang Zi Yu also tried to kill himself by collision, but the other person would always appear at the right time, and save him from the verge of death.

He could only lay on the bed, and infinitely yearn for Mu Ying Sheng, yet also feel helpless.

This night, it was raining outside the house.Within the ticking sound of rain, Jiang Zi Yu unknowingly sunk into a dream. He once again dreamed of that day, with Mu Ying Sheng saying with a low and hoarse voice not to let him turn back. This time, he reached out and touched the other person. The blazes spread to his body, but there was no feeling whatsoever.

He thought, he was probably able to be with Mu Ying Sheng.

But when it was time to wake up, there was only an empty house, and the darkness in which one would not see their five fingers. He covered his eyes and laughed out loud, with his palms turned moist.

He thought, he could only think about it was all.

[1] [十指不沾]阳春水- The full expression the term derives from is translated as such- one’s (ten) fingers does not get stained/touch/steep in “spring waters”, hence the mention of the ten fingers in the line following it. The phrase is used to point to someone(‘s family) so well off, they do not need to do thing themselves, such as wash clothes, do chores etc.

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