Chapter 13

Let's not get caught.

The trainees were taken aback when they heard the date of the debut stage evaluation announced by the company. It was much earlier than expected.

The trainees had to prepare a perfect stage in just about two months, a very short period of time. Of course, they had to continue their regular classes as scheduled. There was an absolute lack of time.

To make matters worse, the evaluation was to be conducted on a stage prepared like a real one. Cameras would roll, and external audiences would be invited, just like a music show.

One team stage and one individual stage each. Even if the monthly evaluation next month was skipped, could they prepare satisfactorily in two months?

Moreover, if they had to prepare like a real stage, additional elements beyond dance, singing, and rapping were needed.

They would have to be more tense than usual, so they needed to be mentally prepared and handle their gaze at the camera skillfully. They also needed to have stage presence, star quality, or the plus alpha that is often referred to as charisma.

There was no certainty that they would make it into the debut group. They didn't have the time to build the confidence in their skills. However, on the other hand, they thought this way.

An opportunity had come.

It was a golden opportunity. There were many trainees who had been waiting for years to debut. Some even moved between agencies to aim for a debut.

To think that they could get a debut opportunity almost as soon as they became trainees!

Wouldn't any aspiring idol envy them if their skills were up to par?

Realistically, I was still lacking in skills other than vocals.

But if I practiced like crazy for two months, couldn't I manage somehow? Wouldn't showing potential for growth earn me some extra points?

If I could improve to a similar level as the other trainees in two months. I imagined myself on stage for a moment and came to a conclusion.

It wasn't entirely unfavorable. It was worth a try.

To perform at my best, I couldn't afford to be nervous. Recalling the competition I participated in during middle school, I was less prone to nervousness compared to others.

While everyone else was trembling, I just waited calmly. I didn't get particularly nervous even during the agency auditions or sudden monthly evaluations.

I wasn't bothered by the camera either. Although I didn't enjoy being photographed, I didn't mind when someone took pictures of me.

I had been photographed and filmed countless times by my parents since I was very young, so it was impossible not to adapt.

The videos taken during my music journey with Hyun-oh were natural not just because he made me feel comfortable.

Most importantly, Hyun-oh's music was always with me. I was brimming with confidence when it came to 'singing.'

This was partly a superstitious belief and partly because I had evaluated Hyun-oh's songs from a third-person perspective.

I was confident that I wouldn't be outdone by any of the trainees in the company when it came to singing.

The goal was to stand at the pinnacle of idol stardom. There was no room for hesitation.

I didn't even consider what would happen if I missed this debut opportunity. I was determined, like a general preparing for the final battle, to fight with my back against the wall.

There was no place to retreat.

* * *

"Do you want to be ailing even after debuting? If you're hurt, just whine about it. Stupid."

O-ran scolded Park-ha, who had sprained her ankle during dance practice, while applying a spray to it.

How could her words and actions be so different? She was grumbling on the surface but treating her kindly.

Is this what they call tsundere? I had never seen it in real life. Why can't you just speak your mind? Is it just your personality?

"What are you looking at?"

O-ran got annoyed because I was staring at her so intently. It was a bit amusing because I had never seen this type before. If she could read my mind, she would frown immediately.

"Why are you hurt too? Do you want me to spray you?"

From cold water to hot water?

I burst out laughing a bit late. O-ran looked at me as if I were a little crazy, but I didn't care.

While I might not respect her, O-ran was a pretty good friend in many ways.

* * *

A faint voice called my name.

"...Lee Won, Ham Lee Won. Are you very sleepy? Should I buy you some bread from the snack shop?"

"...Ah, I fell asleep. Bread... I'll go to the cafeteria."

It was Green-hyung who came to get me. He met me in the hallway on the way to the cafeteria, and when I didn't come, he came to the classroom. I had fallen asleep without realizing it. No, it wasn't sleep but a faint. I was still dazed.

I can't even make it through the morning now.

After the debut group evaluation date was announced, I had no choice but to use the afternoon class time for sleep. I might have to invest all my class time in sleep from now on.

"You can't pull yourself together. What time did you get home yesterday?"

"3 AM? Or 4 AM? Anyway, I was the last one to leave."

"You did as you pleased because no one was there to stop you. Don't try to be like Park-ha, who doesn't go to school, or Seo-hoon-hyung, who is a college student."

Ji-on was the type who returned home at a fixed time, and Green-hyung was the one who would try to stop me if he thought I was overworking.

Green-hyung finished practice a bit early yesterday because it was his mother's birthday and he had to visit his parents' house.

"Still, don't overdo it. I know you're anxious as the evaluation date approaches, but if you get sick, it will be counterproductive."

"I'll be careful. I overdid it yesterday because I was so focused."

"I'll keep an eye on you."

However, the approaching stage evaluation was pressuring me.

This isn't enough. You haven't worked as hard as others. You lack the absolute time.

Would you not regret it if you did this much...?

* * *

Why did O-ran call Ji-on 'Jeton'? The curiosity was resolved later.

I had forgotten about it for a while, but it suddenly came to mind when I met Ji-on at the vending machine during a break, and I asked him right away.

There was no complicated story. Kim Ji-on had been a rapper in the underground scene, and his rap name was Z-on. When read in British English, it became 'Jeton.' O-ran liked the sound of 'Jeton' because it was stronger.

"Ji-on, can I call you 'Jeton' too?"

"Sure. Now, both names are familiar to me."

Ji-on, who looked sensitive, was surprisingly laid-back. He resembled an actor known for his decadent charm, but he seemed much gentler than the actor. It was probably because he was young.

Ji-on would be a more popular style when he grew older, his bones changed, and his baby fat disappeared.

"Did you practice rapping well? I heard you're the best among the rappers."

"...In the group song, my voice keeps standing out."

"Standing out?"

"I tried changing my tone, but it keeps standing out."

Although his voice was low, Ji-on's tone wasn't that unique. Moreover, his skills weren't lacking to the point of disrupting the team's harmony. It was strange. It should have been a highlight, so why...

"Hmm. Was it the same rapper who said that?"

"Yeah. How did you know?"

"Maybe it's just nitpicking. They might be trying to intimidate you because you're good."

If you're criticized repeatedly, you tend to shrink. Could they be deliberately targeting Ji-on?

Ji-on stood out as a rapper, so it made sense that he would be guarded. That was my guess.

"Is that so... Thanks. I was worried about it. I solved my problem."

"Ji-on, I'm perceptive, right?"

Ji-on's lips curved deeper, still smiling lightly.

"Nun ja."

What does that mean?

* * *

Preparing for the team stage was more difficult than expected. The team was randomly formed, and there were no familiar trainees.

Perhaps that's why it was more stressful. It seemed the team was formed considering the positions of the original group that performed the cover song.

Naturally, I took on the main vocalist position, but there were almost no dance parts in the center.

It was a song with a high-note shuttle.

Ah, it wouldn't be easy to stand out in a group song. I had this thought throughout the practice of the dance choreography after receiving the song.

The song itself was a playful and street-style track, so I got help with the dance details from Park-ha.

Although I was also a competitor, Park-ha didn't refuse to help. When I asked her about it, she answered seriously.

"Lee Won-hyung! I believe kindness will come back to you someday. And instead of pulling others down, we should help each other to rise! If you debut, you won't succeed with that attitude. It's not a solo debut."

Park-ha seems more mature than me. She looks like a lively large dog on the outside, but she's a young adult inside.

"Thanks. I'll do my best. I'll make sure you feel it was worth helping."

* * *

I don't remember exactly how the two months passed. The songs and dances were just engraved in my body through practice.

I continued a routine of leaving in the morning and returning in the early hours of the next day.

I could only have breakfast with my parents, but I didn't have much appetite due to the physical strain, so I just ate a little and went to school. I didn't even have time to talk with them.

Since the day I joined the agency as a trainee, my parents had just silently supported me. They must have been worried, but they didn't show it. They probably didn't want to burden me.

After all, no one could do it for me. It was a challenge I had to overcome alone. It was tough, but I couldn't give up, so I had to endure.

While I was pushing myself to the limit, two months had quietly passed.

Finally, the day of the stage evaluation arrived.

My mood on such an important day was the worst.

When I woke up in the morning, my eyes were particularly dry, and it was very hard to get up. If it had only been that, it wouldn't have been much different from other days.

But the drowsiness from the morning continued, and my limbs felt heavy. I thought a shower and breakfast might help, but it didn't. Instead, I developed a slight fever.

For the debut showcase, the agency invited not only industry professionals and general audience members with tickets but also the families of the trainees.

This meant that the debut group evaluation stage was an opportunity for my parents to see the results of my efforts and put their worries to rest.

But my body was in this state. Damn.

I tried desperately to act as usual. My parents would leave separately, so I just had to hold on during the brief morning and on stage.

I gathered the clothes for the stage outfit and left home as quickly as possible.

After arriving at the company, I did a light practice with the trainees who would perform the team stage with me and then moved to a small theater in Daehak-ro.

We managed to complete the final rehearsal. When I sat on the floor backstage, the medicine kicked in, and it was a bit easier to endure than before.

I felt guilty about rushing through the individual stage rehearsal, but I thought I could still show both the team and individual stages without any major issues.

Why is my condition like this? Of all days, today. If I had been sick a day later, there would have been no problem.

I remembered Green-hyung's advice not to overwork and Park-ha's warning not to push beyond my limits.

I was stupid. I shouldn't have secretly returned to the company for additional practice after leaving.

Fortunately, my pale complexion was hidden by the stage makeup.

The makeup artist, who was in charge of SEED's senior, almost caught on to my condition.

When she asked if I was sick because my skin was too pale, I made an excuse that it was always like that. If my fever hadn't gone down temporarily, it might have been exposed and reported to the CEO.

Although it's embarrassing to say, managing one's condition is also a skill.

Would they be lenient if a trainee was sick and groaning on an important day? No, I would have no excuse if I were penalized.

They might feel worried and sympathetic, but they would still give a negative evaluation. The world is not easy.

Other trainees would probably mock me in their hearts. "Can't even manage your condition?" "What terrible luck."

Let's not get caught. Until I return home after the stage.