Chapter 16

Reflection Meeting

Moist? Blushing...?

"Really?"

"You didn't see it? Liar!"

"Mint, humans can't see their own eyes due to the structure of the human body."

Without a mirror, there was no way I could see my own eyes. After some thought, I wondered if my eyes had been teary because of the pain. I had written about the headache, but the moist eyes were definitely not intentional.

"Trying to wriggle out of it, huh? Bro, it's no use looking at me with that innocent face! Hyun-woo was the schemer!"

Even though I knew Mint's reactions were often exaggerated and she deliberately made a fuss, it still didn't feel good.

Ah, I realized again how important it is to appeal to the audience at such moments.

"What's the saying for this? I learned it. Oh, the tidy cat climbs the stove first?"

Stove...? Is it similar in meaning?

"Ugh! Why are you like this, Ji-on? Stove!"

Mint pounded her chest with her fists, saying she was frustrated. Ji-on repeated "stove" a few times.

I ignored Mint's nagging. She was secretly quite laid-back.

"Hey, watching you two talk is driving me crazy. What's this about a schemer? That day, Ham Hyun-woo must have been in pain."

Ah! I forgot that Hong Oh-ran was supposed to keep her mouth shut. I tried to brush it off as if it didn't matter since it was all in the past.

"In pain? Where? Are you okay now? Why didn't I know?"

"Body ache. I'm fine. I didn't want you to worry unnecessarily."

"Oh, so you left early because you were in pain... I thought Hyun-woo didn't want to greet our family. I almost felt hurt."

"That's not true. Next time we meet, I'll definitely greet them formally."

It seemed like things would end on a warm note. But there was one more person who didn't know about the day I was sick—Choi-rok.

Choi-rok, who entered the practice room late, had no idea about that day's situation until Oh-ran's bombshell revealed the truth.

Choi-rok is usually strict about such things...

"Hyun-woo."

I wish he hadn't said it so seriously. Choi-rok, who always had a smile, suddenly had a stern face, which was scary. Is this why a good person's anger is so frightening?

"...Sorry. I told you not to overdo it. You didn't listen."

"Do you know what the guy from the previous class said? He said you're ruthless. When I asked why, he said you put down your bag in the morning and came back to the company to find you practicing alone."

You really got caught, didn't you? With a witness, there was no way to deny it.

"You pretended to go with us and came back to practice, right?"

"..."

Oh no... My misdeeds were exposed to the others.

Oh-ran pressed her temples, as if her head was throbbing. Mint gasped in surprise, and Ji-on shook his head. Se-hoon was caught in the middle, feeling awkward.

"You can't do this. If you weren't sick, you would have kept doing it, right? I know it might seem like unnecessary interference, but I have to say it. As someone who shares the same dream, it's heartbreaking. What if you lose your health? That would be the real end."

"I was wrong."

"Debuting isn't the end. We have to dance and sing for years, even decades. If your body is worn out, how can you endure that long? I understand your determination, but you need to know your limits. And this time..."

I was scolded for a while and earnestly reflected on my mistakes. I didn't mind the nagging because I considered them close enough to do so.

In a way, it felt like Choi-rok was treating me seriously, which made me feel better. Maybe I was just feeling happy for no reason.

"Did you really reflect on it?"

"Yeah, I won't do it again."

"If you were my younger brother, I would have slapped you."

Choi-rok, who scolded me, got up, brushing off his pants, saying he was feeling down.

Se-hoon said I had reflected a lot and took my side. Mint clung to Choi-rok, trying to cheer him up. I, the cause of the trouble, clasped my hands and sat quietly.

"Hah, hah, hah."

Oh-ran subtly provoked me from the side, pouting her lips. I couldn't argue because my mistake was clear.

We'll see.

"Choi-rok, my mom doesn't nag like that."

Ji-on tried to stir the pot. If this continues, I'll be the one bleeding. I quickly intervened before Choi-rok's eyes narrowed.

"Actually, I planned to have a gentle practice and reflection meeting today, but I didn't expect to have to make Hyun-woo reflect."

"Oh, a debut evaluation reflection meeting?"

"Yeah. But after looking at everyone, I think we need to have a more serious conversation first."

We couldn't decide anything until the results came out in a week, but we had a lot to think about.

If we don't make it into the debut group this time, should we continue as trainees, move to another agency, or give up on our dreams?

"Next year, when the male idol group debuts, there will be a five-year gap with the SEED seniors. If we consider the five-year debut interval of our agency, the decision isn't easy. We can't be sure of debuting even then. I hope you can think about what to do if I don't make it into the debut group. I don't have anyone to confide in."

Choi-rok spoke honestly first.

After the stage evaluation, there was nothing we could do.

We practiced mechanically, but as humans, we were restless. So, we decided to consider various scenarios and think about what to do. We might as well make a decision and settle our minds.

Choi-rok skipped all his school classes and focused on his trainee life. Moreover, he would be twenty-five in five years.

"I think Choi-rok can keep going. You're the best at dancing. Plus, you can choreograph, so if it doesn't work out, you could become a choreographer."

Se-hoon was right; Choi-rok's talent was in dance.

He would likely end up in that field naturally. 'Choi-rok the choreographer' sounded fitting.

"But Choi-rok, can you be satisfied just choreographing for others?"

"Hah... No, Se-hoon, you know me too well."

For the first time, I realized Se-hoon was older than Choi-rok. Choi-rok, who had the biggest passion for dance, quickly concluded that he couldn't bear to see others perform his choreography.

"I can move to another agency, but I won't give up on my dream. I'm also attending university to prepare for any situation, so I'm fine."

"Se-hoon, your grades are a mess! How can you say that so shamelessly!"

To keep the mood light, Mint picked on Se-hoon. They bickered for a bit.

Se-hoon was majoring in directing at the Department of Theater and Film at Korea National University of Arts. I only just learned which university he attended, knowing he was a student.

A former child actor at Korea National University of Arts. Even if he doesn't achieve his dream, his future doesn't seem uncertain.

"Debut group? Even if I don't make it, I'm a rapper anyway."

Ji-on had auditioned for Show Me the Money 3 and gained some recognition in the hip-hop scene.

His parents were Korean, so he spoke Korean, but he had just returned from the UK and rapped in awkward Korean. Ji-on believed that's why his score was low.

By my standards, Ji-on, or rather, J.Ton, was a good rapper. His language skills were exceptional, and his delivery was unique. He created rhymes in a distinctive way.

Of course, his attractive low voice was also a plus. But even if that were true, it was rare to find someone who believed in themselves so much. Ji-on's self-esteem was high.

"I never planned to give up from the start. Six years is too long, but..."

I never considered giving up from the moment I decided to become an idol. Mint's lips moved as if she wanted to say something but didn't.

"I'm putting everything on the line this time. If it doesn't work, I'll quit."

The atmosphere froze when Oh-ran made this shocking statement.

From the few stories I knew, Oh-ran had been desperately trying to become an idol.

Mint reacted against this unexpected decision.

"Didn't you get plastic surgery because you wanted to debut?"

"You don't understand. Being good-looking makes life easier, even if you're not an idol. I would have done it even if my goal wasn't to be an idol."

"Bro..."

It was hard to react, and the room fell silent for a moment.

Mint, the last to speak, broke the silence.

"Hey! Do you all think I'll give up? An 11-year trainee, just imagining it is daunting. But I have no future if I don't take this path."

Mint's family wasn't wealthy, which I could tell from the little I knew. It was hard to keep dreaming in such a situation.

It was a reckless choice, but it felt more impressive because of the difficult circumstances.

The mood became heavy again, so Mint tried to lighten it.

"But from what I see, you're all worrying unnecessarily! If I were to pick the debut group from the trainees, I would choose the members here. Even without filters, objectively!"

"I agree. I didn't understand why you were worried, but..."

There seemed to be a communication gap. Mint and Ji-on firmly believed the members in this practice room would be chosen for the debut group.

"You can't miss if you have an eye for it."

Surprisingly, Oh-ran agreed.

I didn't see the other members' debut evaluation performances because I wasn't in good condition, but they must have shown their best.

That was a relief. They were clearly talented, and they would have passed the personality test. It was a clear fact that they were the most likely to debut.

"I hope we were worrying unnecessarily. Even if it's embarrassing, I hope that's the case."

I hoped we had been worrying unnecessarily. Among us, I was probably the most uncertain. The strange sensation during my solo performance made it hard to gauge how I danced.

I moved intensely despite my poor condition, so I might face a bitter consequence. I could only blame myself.

My stomach churned with anxiety, but I didn't want to transfer that feeling to others. They had just started to hold onto hope and regain their energy.

"Anyway, are you all settled? Let's start practicing again."

Following Choi-rok's words, we lined up in front of the mirror. As the music started, everyone's faces brightened, and they moved their limbs with renewed energy.

"Let's have a wrap party today, no, tomorrow!"

Mint shouted, even as she panted.

"We were going to do it the day before yesterday, but Hyun-woo wasn't there, so it got postponed. Hyun-woo, you have to come!"

She looked like she would threaten me if I said no. I quickly agreed and asked,

"Why tomorrow, not today?"

"Because! It's at 1 AM!"

Oh-ran pressed for a reasonable time, but Mint stood her ground. Se-hoon, Choi-rok, and Ji-on, used to this, didn't even respond.

"Be careful. You'll get hurt! Park Ha-jun! Hong Oh-ran! Are you getting lazy after the evaluation?"

"No."

"No, sir! Sorry, Assistant Choi-rok!"

I let the noise fade into the background and fell into thought.

The results will come out in about two weeks...

The debut evaluation was based on two things: idol skills and personality.

I had been worried about my dance since the stage evaluation. I couldn't help it because something unusual happened during the performance.

I didn't take the personality evaluation seriously.

If personality is defined as one's thoughts, attitudes, and behavior, I was extremely ordinary. If my personality wasn't particularly bad, it shouldn't be a problem, right?

Few people reflect deeply on their own personality, and I wasn't one of them.

I didn't know.

The part that would trip me up wasn't the dance I was worried about, but the personality evaluation I had taken lightly.