Chapter 15

Debut Evaluation Stage (2)

I could feel eyes fixating on every small movement I made. A strange thrill enveloped me.

Ah, this is why I can't forget the stage.

However, the fact that I couldn't control my body perfectly was frustratingly disappointing. Even a simple action like pulling my feet together wasn't something I could confidently do as intended.

I should be in sync with the beat. But I couldn't gauge if I was hitting it properly. It felt like I was moving a marionette. Still, from the reactions, it seemed I hadn't made any major mistakes.

The singing was different. After receiving my voice from Hyun-oh hyung, I would occasionally be surprised by myself. I was more accustomed to silence with a terrible voice. But now, it felt like an integral part of me, as if it was a natural talent. What on earth was happening?

Whether this was luck or misfortune, I would only know once the stage was over.

Are you ready to become an adult? Ask me anything.

Then I would say, "Of course, why not? You can step back if you want; I won't force you."

Most importantly, it means becoming an adult with you.

Leaping over the gap between a boy and a man,

I'll come to you, and we'll greet the morning together tomorrow.

I was standing on a precarious boundary.

The real me, who had become a man from a boy,

I crossed that line, and there's no turning back.

The end of the song was approaching. My legs felt weak, and my breath was short. I just had to hold on a little longer. Clenching my teeth, I continued the dance and singing.

The borderline between a boy and a man, the borderline between you and me, look forward to what comes after the borderline.

I struck the ending pose with a confident chin-up. I held the pose for about three seconds, looking meaningfully at the camera with a significant smile.

Even though I was out of breath, I maintained a composed attitude. I wanted to keep the stage's atmosphere until the end.

One of the essential elements in a music show is the ending. The brief moment when the camera zooms in after the song ends often leaves a deep impression on the audience.

When I was told to imagine myself on the actual stage, I pondered the ending pose and practiced it secretly. I even got teased when I was caught, but I wasn't embarrassed on this stage.

If becoming an ending fairy could bring me closer to my dream, I could do it a hundred, a thousand times.

I bowed deeply and moved my steps. Thanks to my luck, I managed to finish the stage without any issues.

Finally, it was over.

That was the only thought I had as I returned to the waiting room.

I wanted to go home as soon as possible. I felt like I had squeezed out every last drop of energy.

Moreover, the unfamiliar state of concentration had drained my mental strength. It wouldn't be strange if I collapsed right there.

I roughly packed my belongings and headed to the next audience area. By the time I got there, the last performance had already ended.

The representative stood in the middle and declared the end of the debut evaluation stage. He thanked the officials and family members who had come and left a few words for the trainees.

"Great job. You've been practicing without proper sleep, right? Tomorrow is a day off. Rest well and spend the day with your family. We'll see you the day after tomorrow."

He said he would compile the evaluation results and deliver them to each person later so they could rest comfortably.

The day off and the fact that it was Saturday were both welcome. I could really rest tomorrow.

The families of the trainees were greeting each other like comrades in the same situation. But I was at my limit and didn't have the energy to exchange greetings.

I approached my mother and said softly,

"Mom, I'll go to the car first. I'm tired."

"…Euiwon, you! Ha, let's talk slowly and go home quickly."

Mom and Dad immediately understood my state from my expression. The sharp eyes of parents who had raised me for 17 years couldn't be deceived.

I quickened my pace toward the parking lot. As soon as I opened the car door, I felt relieved, and my tension completely dissipated.

I lay down on the back seat.

"Euiwon!"

* * *

After opening the car door, everything went dark. I must have collapsed there. I finally caused trouble.

The smell of disinfectant. It seemed I was in a hospital, not at home. I cautiously opened my eyes to see Mom and Dad by my side.

How worried they must have been. At the slightest movement, Mom asked me,

"Euiwon, are you awake? Are you okay?"

"…Yes, I feel much better. I'm sorry for worrying you."

"You scared us so much. I've never been so shocked."

If my bold mother was this shocked, my sensitive father might have cried. When I glanced at Dad, his eyes were indeed red.

"The doctor said it was due to overwork, lack of sleep, and stress. I expected it would be tough to become an idol, but I didn't think it would harm your body. I wondered if I should have opposed your dream today."

"It's my fault. I'm sorry for worrying you. This won't happen again."

It was foolish to push myself to the limit without proper condition management and collapse, causing worry.

"…You won't listen even if I tell you to rest. Let's stay in the hospital until tomorrow and see how you are."

"Mom, Dad, I'll rest well until tomorrow. Please go home and get some sleep."

"No, at least one of us should stay and take care of you."

"There are professionals here. And I just have a cold, not a serious illness. It would be more uncomfortable for me if you two sleep uncomfortably by my side."

After persistent persuasion, Mom and Dad finally went home. Only then could I fully relax.

I felt guilty for the attention my parents were giving me.

Even if my condition was the worst, I wouldn't have given up the debut evaluation halfway.

Even if someone had told my parents I collapsed and caused worry, I would have given it my all on stage.

"Ah, I need to contact Seohoon hyung and Olan."

Seohoon hyung must be worried sick about me disappearing after the evaluation. Olan might pretend to be fine but is secretly curious about my condition.

I chuckled and rummaged through my bag to find my phone.

"I'm resting well. Don't worry."

I sent this, and they replied according to their personalities.

"Thank goodness^^ Thanks for letting me know. Rest well and see you the day after tomorrow (waving dog emoji)"

"Get some rest."

At least things went well. If I had collapsed during the performance, it would have been a disaster.

Just imagining it made me feel dizzy. I should be grateful for the luck that allowed me to complete the evaluation safely.

I promised myself I wouldn't put myself in such a risky situation again.

* * *

After spending the night in the hospital and resting until the afternoon, I was discharged.

My condition had returned to perfect normalcy, as if I had never been sick. I felt so refreshed, it was almost invigorating.

Lack of sleep must have significantly weakened my immune system. After a long, deep sleep, I felt my body was lighter than ever.

My parents held me back from going to school, warning me not to overexert myself. I expected this overprotection to continue for a while. I had to accept it as my karma. Cause and effect.

I went to school and then to the company with Chorok hyung. The other male trainees seemed to lack energy. They were so demotivated that it was awkward to ask why.

"Did something happen?"

"Everyone is demotivated. They're experiencing something like burnout."

It's as if they had burned everything and were left with only ashes.

"Probably, it will continue until the results come out. They'll be on edge and can't concentrate."

I understood their feelings. But with a long journey ahead, how could they already be demotivated? Still, I wasn't in a position to worry about others.

I quickly headed to the vocal practice room according to the schedule.

I wanted to confirm the sense of oneness I felt on stage. I couldn't check it immediately in the hospital because I had to lie still.

Even after being discharged, my parents kept a watchful eye, so I couldn't sing.

"Hello."

"Hey, did you rest well yesterday?"

There were five of us in the class, so I waited for my turn while warming up my voice. When I finished singing a song we often used for practice, the vocal trainer pulled his chair closer.

"Did something change, Euiwon? How did you change so much?"

"Something was different during the debut evaluation."

"Maybe experiencing a live stage made a difference? I thought your vocals were already close to perfect, making it hard to improve. But you've grown on your own."

"What changed?"

"Maybe it's the flavor. Your voice sticks to the ear."

It wasn't just my imagination. Confirming the change made me incredibly happy.

I was proud that I had developed the gift I received from Hyun-oh hyung to a new level. I enjoyed the praise to the fullest.

"But now I'm more puzzled. I don't know how to teach someone who grows on their own."

The vocal trainer looked troubled, seeing me still grinning.

"Euiwon, you can take a break, right?"

"Even a short, consistent practice can help, right?"

"I'm joking. I need to work honestly for the money. Hmm, let's practice your low notes more. Do you remember the stage from the other day? The audience was more moved by your low notes than your high notes."

"I was too focused on the stage…"

Hyun-oh hyung could hit high notes smoothly and was also skilled at low notes.

But as I went lower, I became more anxious. Maybe practicing descending scales would expand my range.

I speculated that this phenomenon was due to my natural vocal cords. The reason my voice was lower than Hyun-oh hyung's could also be explained by this.

My original voice was much lower in tone than it is now. I disliked it because it sounded creepy, but I was more familiar with low notes.

I might have unconsciously tried to produce familiar sounds, or other factors might have aligned with low notes. My natural attitude towards low notes might have contributed to this.

There were many factors to consider, but I wasn't unhappy about developing my own unique style. It was good to make progress, even if it was a small step, rather than just borrowing Hyun-oh hyung's voice.

I slowly practiced scales with the trainer.

* * *

After 11 PM, during the free practice time, I opened the door to the practice room I always used. Inside, Parkha, Jion, and Olan were already there.

"Euiwon hyung! I was waiting for you, I almost lost my neck!"

"Why?"

You must have finished your busy schedule, and there's no particular reason you need me. Parkha, the confident extrovert, was as energetic as always.

"Why not! I wanted to praise your performance! Why did you leave right after it ended?"

"Um, I was tired…?"

"How much effort did you put into the stage? Well, anyone who saw it would nod in agreement."

"Was the reaction good? I tried my best, but I couldn't check the audience's reaction."

I didn't have the energy to pay attention to anything else. It was hard enough to focus on the dance and singing.

"Was it good? Wow, you should have seen the reaction. It was amazing."

"…?"

"I couldn't get a seat in the family section, so I sat in the VIP section. Every time you moved, the crowd would stir and scream. If I had a sister, she would have fallen for you. Did you do it on purpose? Euiwon hyung, you're naughty."

There was a positive response, but I didn't think it was that enthusiastic. I must have been too focused.

"What do you mean on purpose?"

"I know everything. Your style wasn't like that before. Explain why you suddenly appeared with wet hair like you just took a shower, and your eyes were moist and red!"