Chapter 38

### Chapter 38: Recollection (9)

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#32

“What happened, Rubia? Your grades have dropped significantly.”

It was already mid-December, and winter had arrived. After the final regular exams for the third-year students at Lorson Academy, the homeroom teacher, who had called Rubia aside, expressed his concern with a worried look.

He didn't have any hidden intentions. He was genuinely worried about Rubia's condition, and there was a good reason for it.

“...I'm sorry, Professor.”

While it's impossible to always maintain peak condition, Rubia had been an exceptionally outstanding student, consistently ranking first in the entire magic department and was on track to graduate as valedictorian.

Of course, as a human, Rubia had occasionally slipped to second place, but such instances were rare and actually added to her human appeal.

However, in this regular exam, Rubia's calculated score was... surprisingly, 15th overall.

Given that Rubia's diligence was well-known to all the professors at Lorson Academy, this result was truly unexpected.

Moreover, this exam wasn't particularly difficult.

While it was the final exam before graduation and included complex problems to summarize everything learned, these were problems that Rubia could have solved without much difficulty.

Yet, Rubia made more than four mistakes in the written test and, in the practical section, where she usually scored near-perfect, she made a calculation error and failed to fully form the required magic.

As a result, she barely achieved her goal, but her performance was far from impressive. The magic that Rubia, known for its near-perfect quality, cast that day looked incredibly amateurish...

“...I wasn't in good condition.”

Rubia bowed her head like a guilty person.

The final regular exam.

She had utterly failed.

However, because of the many achievements Rubia had already accumulated, her planned valedictorian graduation wouldn't suddenly be revoked.

Instead, this significant drop in performance became a major topic of discussion among those who knew her, to the point where her homeroom teacher called her aside to express his concern.

“I didn't call you here to scold you. Anyone can make mistakes... but are you really okay? You look much paler than usual. If you're in severe pain...”

“No, Professor. It's not that. I just wasn't in good condition, so I made mistakes. I'm fine now.”

“...Is that so? If anything happens, feel free to talk to me. Even though graduation is near, I want to take care of my students until the end. I know you're a strong person, Rubia, but it's okay to lean on others when you're really struggling.”

“...Thank you, Professor.”

Rubia bowed her head again. The professor continued to worry about her, but he couldn't get any other answers from her.

Creak—

With a brief farewell, Rubia left the professor's office and paused in front of the closed door. She closed her eyes and let out a long sigh.

“...Haa.”

Why am I like this?

If I had made a bigger mistake during the exam, I might have lost my valedictorian position.

I studied just as much as usual, if not more. So why did this happen?

Well, it's because I didn't study efficiently. Even while studying hard, I kept making small mistakes...

There was only one reason for this unusual behavior.

...

Since the last time she asked Mu about Elio's whereabouts, Rubia hadn't had a chance to speak to Mu at all.

Or rather, it was more accurate to say she couldn't.

Because Mu was no longer visible.

His dormitory belongings were all packed up, and it seemed he had moved somewhere else. According to rumors, he was holed up in one place, swinging his sword non-stop. He refused to meet anyone privately and had become obsessed with his sword, as if he had gone mad.

For over three weeks, a strange rumor spread that Mu, a second-year student in the swordsmanship department, had been defeating the professors and senior students one by one, as if breaking into a dojo.

Students who witnessed even a glimpse of this legendary figure were either trembling in fear or marveling at Mu's extraordinary talent.

Of course, such rumors weren't particularly important to Rubia...

Tap, tap.

With a slightly pale complexion, as the professor had noted, Rubia aimlessly walked down the corridor of the annex building. Her lost gaze was fixed on the floor, and the usually vibrant aura around her had become noticeably dull.

...I couldn't find Elio. It's becoming more and more mysterious. What happened to Elio? Where did he go? I can't find any trace of him anywhere.

Just a few days ago, I could see him around the academy, but now I have no idea where he is or if he's even alive.

What's going on? Why did you leave without a word, Elio...

At the very least, if it was something important like dropping out, I thought he would at least give me a hint.

But he didn't.

...Have we drifted too far apart?

Or did he get seriously injured without the means to tell anyone... That doesn't seem likely.

Mu knew more about Elio's whereabouts than she did. At the very least, Elio must have told Mu something beforehand.

The melancholy and isolation that enveloped Rubia as she walked alone in the corridor reminded her of a childhood memory of being lost in a dense forest, alone and terrified.

When Elio appeared, pushing through the bushes, the tears in Rubia's eyes, which had been streaming down, would stop instantly.

The anxiety that filled Rubia's mind would melt away like snow, just like that...

Over time, Rubia had come to rely on Elio in her daily life. His presence alone was a source of comfort.

But now, that was no longer the case. He had disappeared to a distant place, out of reach, and Rubia, unable to see him, fell into a deep sense of helplessness.

And she began to have regretful thoughts.

...Should I have tried to start a conversation, even if it was forced?

Should I have actively talked to Elio, even if it made him uncomfortable? Should I have talked through the things I had hurt him with, even if it meant admitting my mistakes?

These regretful thoughts came too late, but ultimately, everything was already over.

Naturally, there was nothing she could do now.

Elio and she had drifted apart without any turning point. There was no chance to resolve the pent-up conflicts. Elio had left, and she was left behind.

Because of this, her body and mind were gradually deteriorating, and she felt that all of this was her fault. She was slowly being consumed by dark self-reproach and depression.

...After leaving the professor's office, Rubia had two more classes in the afternoon, but she couldn't focus properly.

#33

A few days ago, the first snow of winter fell.

— Rubia, are you here? Come out for a moment.

Today, in the large research room where she was supposed to be conducting magic research, Rubia, who was deeply pondering ways to find Elio, received an order to stop what she was doing and come outside.

Rubia, who looked slightly thinner than before, hurriedly tidied up the table. She then grabbed the key to the research room, stepped out, and slowly walked to where the professor had called her.

Who could it be? The answer was quickly revealed.

“Long time no see, Rubia. How have you been?”

A young man with light gray hair, sitting in a chair under a low ceiling, enjoying the snowfall, waved and greeted Rubia.

“...Ah, Senior Shuriel?”

While not as much as Rubia, he also looked a bit thinner. Perhaps his activities in the magic tower were tough. He looked like he had been through a lot.

“Sit down first.”

“Ah, yes. ...Yah!”

Rubia carefully sat in the chair Shuriel pointed to. Since it was an outdoor chair, it was cold enough to make her shiver. Hearing her slight scream, Shuriel got up from his seat and began to take off his coat.

“Oops. I forgot to put something down for you to sit on.”

“No, no! A magic spell will do!”

Rubia, who had stopped Shuriel, quickly completed the calculation. It was enough to close and open her eyes.

——Hum...

Rubia placed the small red magic circle that appeared on her palm against the chair and successfully absorbed the heat, warming the wooden chair.

Seeing Rubia's expression gradually soften as she blew on her hands, Shuriel, who had been watching, handed her a cup of coffee he had prepared in advance.

“You seem to have been through a lot, Rubia. What happened?”

“Um? Ah... Just thinking a lot about graduation and such.”

Rubia bowed her head slightly, took the coffee cup, and sipped it. It was hot, but it tasted good. Holding the cup with both hands, Rubia asked a similar question.

“Senior, you also look a bit thinner.”

“Hmm? ...Is that so? I'm fine, though.”

“Really? You don’t look fine at all...”

Shuriel stroked his chin.

Then he smiled bitterly.

“Indeed, I’m fine. But things around me have been chaotic, and I haven’t slept for a while.”

“...Around you?”

“Yes.”

What did he mean?

Shuriel didn’t elaborate.

Shuriel nodded and turned to Rubia.

“I said I would visit you someday.”

“Yes, Senior.”

“Due to various commitments, I couldn’t find the time until now. I managed to make time to visit you, but the time I’m allowed to stay here is limited. I’ll probably have to leave in about thirty minutes.”

“...Is that so...? How busy must you be...”

“...”

Shuriel, who had been drinking coffee silently, exhaled.

“I want you to join the Star of Akasha.”

“...”

“I have no right to decide your future. As I said before, the choice is yours. ...However, if you decide to do so, I will do my best to help you. There’s no need for a long explanation, but I just wanted you to know.”

“...”

Rubia couldn’t answer easily.

Of course, she hadn’t completely ignored the idea of joining the magic tower. It was a crucial decision for her future.

However, she hadn’t deeply considered the idea of joining the tower that Shuriel had suggested, not even once.

Because, of course, a more pressing issue had completely overshadowed her mind.

“...”

“...”

Silence fell between them. Shuriel knew he didn’t have much time left to stay, but he drank his coffee silently.

He didn’t expect an answer from Rubia today, and such an important decision required ample time to think.

The choice she made could drastically change her life. There was no need to rush her.

Yes, he didn’t expect an answer.

Rubia needed more time.

She would have plenty of time to think.

...Then.

This was the only chance.

“Rubia.”

“...Ah, yes. Senior.”

Rubia lifted her head.

Her slightly drooping eyes, the luminous green irises, and her always shiny, cherry-blossom-colored hair, which made Shuriel smile naturally every time he saw her, were very pleasing to him.

She was always kind to everyone, never harbored ill intentions, possessed extraordinary talent but remained humble, and never deceived others.

She was more likely to give warm compliments than harsh criticisms and focused on the good qualities of others rather than their flaws.

Because of this, even the children of noble families, who often looked down on commoners, treated Rubia with respect.

Rubia had built a high reputation within the academy, especially because of her beautiful appearance, which attracted the admiration of many male students and the envy of many female students.

However, no male student had successfully confessed to her.

There was no need to find this strange. If you thought about it carefully, it was quite natural.

Just as the distance between the bench where Shuriel and Rubia were sitting, Rubia kept a certain distance from any male student.

This seemed to apply to Shuriel as well.

This cold fact was a bit bitter for Shuriel, who thought he was the closest to Rubia among the male students...

“I wanted to take care of you as a senior. I can’t deny that I was fascinated by your exceptional talent, but even without that, I ultimately like you, which is why I’m here, urging you to join the Star of Akasha.”

Shuriel’s words were true, and Rubia knew it.

That’s why she bowed her head.

“...I’m always grateful to you, Senior. I was grateful when you helped me, and this time even more so—”

At that moment,

“You and I only spent a year together, Rubia.”

“...?”

Rubia tilted her head slightly.

Shuriel’s expression, as he exhaled a cold sigh, looked indescribably complex.

“That year was an irreplaceable, precious time for me.”

“...”

As he finished speaking,

Rubia closed her mouth.

The snowy landscape seemed to freeze like a photograph, and the serious thoughts about the Star of Akasha that she had been pondering vanished, leaving only an inexplicable tension.

Whoosh...

Shuriel’s gentle voice mixed with the cold, icy wind.

“I never intended to appeal to your emotions. But sometimes, things don’t go as planned.”

“...”

“Rubia, if you don’t join the Star of Akasha... I might be a little sad. Or perhaps, I might be very troubled. I barely managed to get through the past year, thinking about how to make you join the same magic tower after your graduation.”

“...”

“...That’s it.”

“...”

“Spending a year with you was so good. If I could spend the rest of my life with you, how much better would that be? I often thought about this. I still do. I imagine every day would be enjoyable.”

At that point,

Rubia cautiously opened her mouth.

“...Senior.”

“Rubia. I’m not speaking to you as your senior, but as Shuriel de La Parra.”

Shuriel’s voice was calm and serious, but inside, he was beyond tense, like a still surface of water.

“I didn’t want to give you another thing to worry about, but I thought this was the only chance. I came here prepared for everything, so you can answer freely.”

He closed his eyes slowly and opened them.

Recalling the day he almost lost Rubia, and his own helplessness at that moment, he remembered the face of a boy who didn’t give up and risked his life to save Rubia.

This made Shuriel feel a bit better. Perhaps, he had already anticipated the outcome.

But— even so.

If he didn’t try at all, he would definitely regret it in the future.

After keeping this feeling inside for nearly two years, he finally decided to express it.

The biting