Chapter 4

#4

The first semester of the second year of middle school was coming to an end.

The weather was getting hotter, and as the sunlight grew more intense, the students began to wear lighter clothing, discarding their white uniforms with golden embroidery in favor of light shirts.

Indeed, it seemed that the exorbitant tuition fees included the cost of air conditioning, as the academy's interior was pleasantly cool, isolated from the outside world.

However, stepping even a foot beyond the boundary made one feel like making an extreme decision.

“Don’t they get tired?”

“Wow, look at them sweating…”

“Hey, hey, he’s shirtless? Isn’t that Jude from the next class?”

“…Wow.”

Most of the female students seemed unable to understand why the male students would go out to the field in such sweltering heat to kick the ball around.

They shook their heads and chatted endlessly in the spacious lecture hall.

After the exams, most of the curriculum turned into free time disguised as self-study.

Students who enjoyed playing went out to the field, while diligent students practiced swordsmanship or studied magic they hadn't learned yet at the student-only training grounds.

After the first regular exam, the second regular exam followed.

Naturally, I took those exams as well.

Most practical subjects, including swordsmanship, are evaluated more on practical skills than on written tests.

The ratio is roughly 2:8.

Swordsmanship theory and practical swordsmanship.

These two aspects of the comprehensive swordsmanship course didn't require a particularly high level of skill.

Students who had already shown talent in the first year would have joined the swordsmanship club, so the others only needed to learn enough to defend themselves.

That was enough.

…It’s not surprising anymore.

I couldn’t do it.

It was a simple matter of transferring the image in my mind to my body. It was really that simple.

But I couldn’t do that simple thing.

Part of the reason was my lack of ability, but also because I had read so many swordsmanship manuals that the vast amount of information I had clashed with the prescribed sword techniques, causing me to stumble.

That was a minor issue. I performed feats that I couldn’t even explain to my friends and professors, and even if they asked me to repeat them, I couldn’t.

Just not trembling while holding a heavy real sword was a significant improvement.

In the end, I failed the practical exam.

…That’s how it went.

As I mentioned earlier, most practical subjects are primarily evaluated on practical skills, and the evaluation ratio wasn’t much different from swordsmanship.

In other words, I received scores close to failing in all subjects except for general education and some history courses.

Even getting a perfect score on the written test wasn’t something to boast about.

I wasn’t the only one who studied hard. This was a prestigious academy, and the students were generally excellent.

When I combined all the scores I received:

28th out of 30 in my class.

471st out of 480 in the overall ranking.

…At least I wasn’t at the very bottom.

The two students behind me had fallen asleep as soon as the written exam started.

I guessed they had only come to the academy to get a diploma.

Since they were from wealthy noble families, they could live comfortably without working.

I decided not to worry about my grades anymore.

It was a result I had vaguely expected, and I needed to look beyond the immediate scores.

Today, I went to the library again.

#5

As early summer gave way to midsummer, a small change began in my daily routine just before the summer break started.

First, with the exams over and free time available, I spent most of my time at the library.

I explored fields that didn’t require innate talent, looking for something where steady time and effort could lead to satisfying achievements.

I could also seek advice from adults.

…So I tried with my homeroom professor.

He suggested that I might enjoy studying academic subjects based on dry theories, excluding all physical activities.

However, I had already considered this. It didn’t help much, but I thanked him and left the lab.

I didn’t want to become like the general education professors at the academy, who were known as human sedatives.

It might have been a petty desire, but I had less than a year left before graduating from middle school. If I could find my hidden talent by then, it would be enough.

But if I couldn’t, I would think about it later.

Creak. Thud.

The library was quiet.

Everyone was busy playing, so the sound of pulling out a chair was particularly clear.

Swish.

I sensed someone nearby.

“…”

I didn’t need to turn my head to know.

From someone who had naturally started sitting next to me, a fresh scent wafted over.

Flip. Flip.

Unlike me, who was reading a book on magic theory written by a renowned professor, she was reading a regular collection of literature.

She didn’t directly interact with me.

She would stare at me from her desk, and when she had nothing to do, she would sit next to me with a book.

She would flip through the pages, ignoring the curious glances from around, while tucking her flowing hair behind her ear.

…Creak.

In contrast, I felt like I was sitting on a thorny chair and quietly moved to a corner.

She had been watching me silently, and when I moved, she closed her book and followed me.

“…”

The gazes directed at us became even more intense, so I decided to just stay put next time.

A week passed, during which I couldn’t concentrate as usual.

One day, I picked up a novel for a short break.

I liked books, and I especially liked the author of this one.

The story of a man and a woman surviving in a destroyed world, with a deeply moving ending, was famous among readers. This was my fourth time reading it.

So, as I sat at the table, deeply engrossed in the novel:

“…Oh, I like that book too.”

The girl who had been sitting next to me spoke casually.

“…?”

I turned my head reflexively.

Smile.

I met her waiting smile.

…That was the beginning.

After the official summer break was announced, she started talking to me first, both inside and outside the library.

During lunch, she would follow me to the backyard stairs and chatter incessantly, and in the library after school, she would pass me information on paper that I didn’t really want to know.

After a few times of giving perfunctory responses, actual conversations began, and the frequency increased gradually.

By the time I realized I was caught up in her pace, it was too late.

Our connection gradually deepened.

At first, it was about our favorite authors or books we were interested in.

By the end, we were talking about what we would do when we got home.

From noon until the sun set.

We whispered to each other, keeping our voices low so as not to disturb others.

As a result,

I learned things about her, even though I didn’t want to.

It was a natural flow, like water seeping through fabric.

It turned out she was quite famous among the freshmen.

Her beauty aside, she was a commoner who had been born into a civilian family and was recruited with a full scholarship.

There were rumors that she was the dean’s granddaughter, but she denied it, saying her grandfather was plowing fields in a rural estate.

She was also known for her unique personality.

In other words, she was eccentric.

Her world revolved around her, so she sometimes said and did things that were hard to understand, which kept her friends at a distance.

She denied this, but I didn’t think the rumors were entirely false.

Her black hair came from her father’s side.

Her purple eyes were inherited from her mother.

She had a pale complexion because she rarely went outside due to a childhood illness.

She liked mystery and romance novels but found theoretical books boring.

She had a small mole on the left side of her neck.

She was very sensitive to heat.

She joined the library management club to request new books she wanted to read.

She lived in the dormitory. Her roommate snored so loudly that they had a big fight after blocking her nose with a clip.

She would join the swordsmanship club in her second year, but she actually disliked physical activities. She preferred to read books and drink beverages in a cool, quiet place like the library.

She had received consistent confessions since the beginning of her studies.

It was almost a regular event.

There was a senior from the swordsmanship club who kept confessing to her despite her repeated rejections, which was a problem.

The more I heard about her, the more it seemed like what she was doing to me was similar to what he was doing to her. It was clear that he was secretly stalking her… What, it’s the same thing.

Anyway, the method she used to get rid of the senior was this:

A duel.

She challenged the senior and set a condition.

If she won, he should stop bothering her and leave her alone.

If she lost, she would date him as he wished.

She was about to stomp on his sword and crush his heart in two rounds, but his friends barely managed to stop her.

After that incident, the number of confessions she received from others decreased overall.

She disliked cats that acted on their own.

In contrast, she liked dogs because they were obedient.

Her tastes were as whimsical as she was.

Unlike me, she wasn’t confident in her written exams. She didn’t seem to be bad at thinking, but she just didn’t like studying.

The professors said she had the potential to become a sword of the empire, but her dream was to be a housewife and a jobless freeloader.

She wanted to find a capable husband and live comfortably without worrying about money.

So, she told me to work harder, looking at me.

Even after the summer break ended, our meetings continued.

The backyard stairs, which had been my private spot, became a place where we had lunch together.

We also met occasionally on benches around the dormitory, which were usually deserted.

She was originally in charge of the desk every day, but on busy days, she started rotating with a club member to have more opportunities to talk to me.

When we met on the main hall stairs, she would wave and greet me cheerfully, causing me to run away hastily.

When her juniors looked at me strangely because of her, I naturally avoided her.

After this happened a few times, she got upset and stopped talking to me first.

Eventually, I cautiously greeted her first, and she smiled as if nothing had happened, becoming even more talkative than before.

From summer to autumn, and then winter was approaching.

Despite my resolve not to let her in, she had made a small crack in my daily life and gradually expanded it, eventually setting up a pillar.

Now, if she disappeared, a part of me would collapse, but I still couldn’t accept her confession.

A friend I could open up to.

That was probably all she was to me.

In fact, excluding her, I had no friends in the academy. So, she was special, but she didn’t have a deeper meaning to me.

The person who had a deeper meaning to me was always just one person.

She probably knew this vaguely, as I had told her many stories, just as she had told me many stories.

I felt a vague sense of gratitude. I thought I might have collapsed if she hadn’t been by my side.

So, she was like a benefactor to me, and I definitely liked her more than anyone else.

But I couldn’t love her.

When the first snow fell.

On a winter day when soft snowflakes were gently falling, I saw my childhood friend with someone.

She was wearing a navy robe that identified her as a magic student, and her face was as pure as it was a year ago.

Her nose and cheeks were slightly red, as if she had just returned from an outdoor class.

Her light pink hair, and the snow that had settled on top of her head.

“Snow got in your hair.”

“Ah… Thank you, senpai.”

When I brushed it off with my hand, she gave me that warm smile, just as she always did.

Only, it wasn’t directed at me.

“…”

I was on an errand for my homeroom professor, delivering something to the magic department annex. I thought I wouldn’t run into her, as it was a simple task.

What’s done is done.

In a moment,

A faint surprise flickered in her eyes as they met mine.

Crack.

I threw the box and turned to run.

I didn’t stop even when I heard a small voice from afar. I ran through the slowly falling snow until my body was covered in snowflakes.

It was foolish and pathetic, but I couldn’t help it. If I had stayed, I might have lost my mind.

I thought I had finally forgotten, but all my efforts were in vain. A single chance encounter brought everything back as if by magic.

Snow melts when it touches the skin. It turns into water. But the snow should be cold, yet the melting water was only hot.

I had trained hard.

If I had been in my old state, I would have collapsed long ago.

I ran so far that I didn’t even know where I was.

Then, I stumbled somewhere.

“…”

The snow cushioned my fall, so I wasn’t hurt.

It was soft and comfortable. I rubbed my sore nose and just lay down.

White snow fell from the white sky.

I wondered if she was following me.

I looked up, not out of hope but out of fear.

…Only the snow-covered trees stood densely, and there was no one below.

Well.

On second thought, it wasn’t my concern.

Whether my childhood friend was dating someone or not, I had no reason to care. It would be better to think I had no right to.

My heart, which had been pounding a moment ago, calmed down.

I thought it would take a long time to calm down, but it settled quickly. That was good.

When I regained my composure, I felt a bit embarrassed.

This isn’t a novel.

What am I doing?

I laughed to myself and stood up, shaking the snow off my uniform.

“Senpai, you got snow here too.”

“Ah, really? Thank you…”

I stopped speaking and turned around almost simultaneously.

“…You.”

“I’m sorry. I have a habit of secretly following senpai… Hehe.”

She was covered in snowflakes, just like me.

She was wearing a beige scarf over her uniform and blowing warm breath into her cold hands.

…Why are you here? Did you stalk me again?

It’s really a bad habit.

“Still, it’s really cold. Phew. It feels like the coldest day recently.”

I wanted to say something, but my mouth wouldn’t open.

“…Senpai?”

She asked, her eyes wide.

“…Are you crying?”

Her eyes soon drooped.

“…Don’t cry. I feel like I’ve done something bad.”

Stalking is a bad thing.

And I’m not crying.

I just can’t speak.

“Ugh, ugh, ugh…”

After hesitating in front of me for a while,

“…I think this is a chance. Right? I’m not the only one who thinks so… Ah, whatever. Ah.”

She said something to herself and then grabbed me.

I had no strength in my body.

To begin with, she was stronger than me.

I was in a position where she had hugged me, and I could feel the warmth of her slender arms around my back.

It was cold but warm.

From a distance closer than ever, a gentle voice whispered in my ear.

“…Senpai.”

“…”

“…I’ve been waiting and holding back. But I couldn’t see any opportunity. I know you have high standards, right?”

“…”

“…But, I understand. It’s because of that girl, right? I’m frustrated, but I’ll admit it.”

Snow was piling up.

Snow didn’t accumulate on her left shoulder or my right shoulder. Instead, our hair, which was above them, was getting covered in snow.

Her snow-covered hair tickled my cheek.

A unique lime scent mixed with the familiar scent.

Shiver, shiver.

Suddenly, I felt her body, which was tightly hugging me, trembling slightly.

Was it because of the cold?

It might have been.

“…I haven’t even held senpai’s hand yet. I’m so embarrassed.”

Then, let go.

“…But senpai’s body is warm, and it feels good. I want to stay like this. Really.”

She tightened her arms around me even more.

I thought about tapping her to tell her I was uncomfortable, but I didn’t.

…Instead, it was comfortable.

“…Senpai.”

“…”

“…I know this is a bad thing. I feel like I’m taking advantage of a lonely person, but…”

She laughed softly, finding it amusing.

“I think this is the only time.”

“…”

“I think this is the only time.”

I know now. It’s a lie.

She wanted to get what she wanted, no matter what. She did what she wanted and avoided what she didn’t.

So, no matter what answer I gave, she wouldn’t have stopped.

“…Will you go