Chapter 67

〈Chapter 67〉 The Secret That Cannot Be Spoken (2)

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#4

A short friction sound was heard.

“...Ah, sorry. Did I interrupt you?”

Miu’s posture momentarily faltered.

For some reason, the sword, which had been tracing a crooked path, ended with a precise point.

A faint wind of the sword blew, and the surrounding dust flew.

In the midst of this, Miu’s face, drenched in sweat, slowly turned toward me.

It seemed she had been deeply focused on her training, as her eyes, which were brightly lit with a well-polished momentum, were vivid.

“No, no. You didn’t interrupt me.”

Miu shook her head at me. Her hair, tied up for training, swayed from side to side.

Miu was wearing a simple-lined tracksuit. Due to the heavy sweating, the zipper of her jacket was completely unzipped and open.

Underneath, a snow-white tank top was visible. Her sturdy, slender waist. Her skin, as white and smooth as snow, glistened with sweat, giving it a lustrous sheen.

I can’t understand how such a delicate body can produce such immense strength. Is this some kind of human mystery or something...

—Swoosh, Thud.

Miu sheathed her sword. It seemed she was about to finish. Although she said I didn’t interrupt her, I felt a bit awkward because it seemed like she was stopping because of me.

The training hall had become unusually quiet.

As I approached Miu, I asked,

“So, is there no one else here besides you?”

“Eh, um...”

Miu wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, then hesitated before answering.

“I’ve been here alone since two hours ago...?”

“What? Really?”

Are they lying to me? No, they said they are usually here around evening, but there’s no rule that they have to be here all the time.

More importantly, has Miu been here since two hours ago? She must have been swinging her sword continuously since then. Impressive. I wonder if she even eats before training.

“Looking for someone...?”

Miu asked me cautiously. At the same time, she subtly zipped up her jacket. Her slightly flushed face was intermittently emitting a heated breath.

Miu, who usually didn’t like showing her disheveled appearance, seemed to be embarrassed. As evidence, when I tried to get closer to her, she took a step back, gradually retreating.

After creating enough distance to face Miu, I said,

“There’s a guy named Hector in my class. I had something to talk to him about. But since he’s not here...”

I’ll have to look elsewhere. I need to tell Hector the time for our group project meeting tomorrow.

Miu, even after hearing the exact name, seemed unable to recall who it was. She only tilted her head in confusion.

...Now that I think about it, this guy doesn’t really show much interest in others. Just looking at Sasha’s case, that’s clear.

I thought he was pretty random when it came to making friends, but since he started school here, he’s been walking around with a cold demeanor, as if he planned to spend the next five years alone.

I was worried about Miu’s social relationships, but honestly, I need to think about whether I’m in a position to worry about Miu. I also have many issues in my own social relationships, including problems related to Miu, which probably make up a significant portion.

Hearing that the person I was looking for wasn’t here, Miu nodded.

“I’ll let you know if I see him later. Then...”

I wonder if he knows what Hector looks like when he says that.

Miu, who was holding the zipper that was pulled up to the neck due to sweat, turned her gaze away from me and tried to move, picking up her sword sheath. The direction was toward the main gate of the training hall.

“Wait a moment, Miu.”

“...”

I turned my head. I could see Miu’s back. I couldn’t see her expression at the time I called her. Therefore, Miu, who had taken a short breath, cautiously turned around and looked at me. Her purple eyes, which seemed to be filled with anxiety and unease, met mine.

“Why, why...?”

“I did have something to talk to that guy about, but actually, I had something to talk to you too. I wanted to talk to you sometime.”

“...Ah, yeah. I see. But I have something urgent to do right now...”

“No. I’m the one who’s in a hurry.”

“...”

It’s a lie, and a pretty poor one at that. Does he really think his lies will work on me? I already knew he wasn’t good at lying. He probably knows it too.

It’s just that... Miu wants to avoid this situation as quickly as possible.

Miu closed her mouth at my firm words. Her gaze, which had been wandering, finally settled on the floor of the training hall.

I walked toward Miu again.

One step, Miu took a step back.

Then I take another step. Miu stumbles but is eventually caught by me.

Grip.

To prevent her from running away, I grabbed Miu’s wrist. Miu’s eyes, which were filled with surprise, slightly widened.

But when she met my gaze, she quickly became calm, as if she had already guessed what I was going to say.

She could easily shake off my hand if she wanted to, but she didn’t. She silently waited for me to speak.

“Last time, I asked you to talk to me when you have time.”

“...”

Like Rubia said.

I had to talk to Miu too.

But.

“You’ve been avoiding me since then, haven’t you?”

“...”

“It’s not like anything happened. Let’s just talk.”

“...”

Ever since you refused to talk to me last time, you’ve been subtly avoiding me.

It’s not like you never did this before. We’ve lived in the same space and had many opportunities to run into each other, but every time, you suddenly changed your direction or turned your back on me. Or, when I felt someone watching me from a distance, it was usually you.

You were clearly trying to avoid the possibility of running into me.

You were intentionally avoiding me. This guy.

“Avoiding, avoiding...”

“What’s not avoiding? Do you think I didn’t notice? You’re trying to run away even now.”

“...”

The slight resistance I felt from the wrist I was holding.

It seemed she wanted to leave as quickly as possible.

I couldn’t let that happen.

“Let’s talk. I have something to say to you, and I want to hear something from you. If we keep dragging this out, it will hurt both of us.”

My face and voice were serious.

Miu’s mouth opened slightly, then closed again. Her pupils, filled with anxiety, trembled slightly. Her breathing, which was already rapid, became even more frequent, and the resistance from the wrist I was holding became a bit stronger.

When was the last time I spoke so firmly to Miu? I can’t remember.

Miu had stopped crossing the line with me, but sometimes when I teased him, he would get upset and act coldly. There weren’t many such instances. For Miu, my current demeanor must be completely unfamiliar.

My lips, tightly closed, did not open. I was waiting for Miu’s response.

An eternal silence flowed between us. The already quiet training hall was filled with an even colder air.

“A, ah...”

My eyebrows twitched.

Miu’s unstable gaze. In her increasingly rough breaths, incomprehensible words were mixed.

She seemed scared.

...Why?

She even shook her head slightly, as if trying to deny something. Looking at something other than me, Miu slowly opened his mouth.

“I, I don’t want to... I, I want to go.”

Miu suddenly raised his arm, trying to shake me off. Before he could, I grabbed Miu’s wrist even more firmly.

“Where are you going? Let’s talk, okay?”

What is it? Why is he so afraid of talking to me? Running away won’t solve anything. Miu must know that. Where will he go if he runs away from here? It will just repeat the same vicious cycle.

“A, no... Let’s talk later. Okay? I, I can’t right now. Still...”

“When is later? You’ll keep avoiding me like this. If you’re going to do that, let’s just talk now. Don’t drag it out.”

“I’m not avoiding. I’m not avoiding. I’m not avoiding... Let’s talk later. Please. Please, I’m begging you. Elio.”

Grip. The resistance became so strong that it was almost unbearable. In response, the force with which I held Miu’s wrist increased.

Miu’s head and shoulders were already trembling slightly, and his already rapid breathing became even faster and hotter.

Tears welled up in his eyes, which were shaking like ripples in a lake. This side of Miu, who was always bold, was incredibly unfamiliar. So unfamiliar that I couldn’t get used to it.

“Why are you begging? It’s just a conversation. It’s not that difficult, right? Why are you doing this?”

“A, no. It’s difficult. It’s difficult because...”

“Did you do something wrong to me? No, right? I heard everything from Rubia. I understand the situation to some extent. You were waiting for me at the fountain in the square on the day I saved Rubia, on your birthday. I broke my promise to make your birthday happy. So it’s my fault. I should apologize to you. That’s all there is to it. I don’t understand why you’re avoiding me.”

Thinking about it now, my heart still aches.

After all, I was the one who broke the promise. The promise to make Miu’s birthday happy. On the day I saved Rubia, Miu must have been waiting for me at the fountain in the square, keeping our promise.

What expression did he have as he waited for me, who never came? Just thinking about it makes me clench my teeth.

Even if there were unavoidable circumstances, the wound Miu received... would never heal.

So Miu should have blamed me. Instead of avoiding me, he should have found me and poured out his anger.

I should have taken all those harsh words. If it could help Miu release his pent-up feelings, I would have taken them all. Of course, a few words wouldn’t be enough.

“Why can’t you talk to me?”

I don’t yell in frustration.

I speak calmly.

Looking directly into Miu’s eyes. Even though Miu still can’t meet my gaze, I keep looking at him. I will wait until Miu gives me a reason that I can understand.

At this point, Miu and I were almost in a tug-of-war. Miu was pulling back and trying to pull his arm, while I was moving forward, keeping my grip on his wrist.

Miu’s slender wrist was fragile, but I was the one who was being pushed back. Miu’s absolute strength far exceeded mine. It was a fight that couldn’t even be called a fight.

However, the reason our tug-of-war could last so long might be that Miu was considering whether I might get hurt and was holding back his strength.

“I can’t... I can’t say. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Elio. I, I really can’t right now. I really can’t. I’m sorry. I’m sorry...”

Miu’s head, enveloped in inexplicable fear, was trembling. The words he kept repeating, coming from his pale lips—

I’m sorry.

I didn’t want to hear those words. I didn’t want to see the tears welling up in his eyes.

Why, why... Why is everyone apologizing to me? What did I do wrong? Tell me, not just you, but everyone. I need to know what happened to decide whether to forgive or not. I don’t want to keep having awkward relationships with you. It’s simple, right? It’s a very simple problem. If you did something wrong, just apologize. But this kind of apology is not right. If the person involved doesn’t even know what happened and is just apologizing to me, what should I do? Should I say it’s okay? If I say it’s okay, will everything be over?

No, it won’t.

As long as the fundamental problem isn’t resolved, Miu will keep apologizing to me like a broken record.

So I speak even more firmly.

“No, tell me. Right here, right now.”

“A, no. Really, no. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Elio.”

“Tell me.”

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry, I did something wrong. I, I did something wrong... Senior... Please let go...”

“I told you, I’m not your senior.”

“No, no... Senior, I did something wrong... It’s my fault. Please, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say those things... I’m sorry, I’m sorry... Senior... I’m sorry...”

“...Why are you like this?”

It was a violent struggle. Miu, who had been sobbing with a hazy gaze, suddenly became strange.

The initiative in the tug-of-war had shifted to me. The force in the wrist I was holding loosened, and Miu’s body, which had suddenly weakened, began to stagger and collapse. I hadn’t expected the situation to unfold like this, so I was taken aback.

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry, Senior...”

Miu’s knees touched the ground. Miu, who had fallen to the floor, shed tears. His heated body, which should have been warm from the intense exercise, seemed to have turned cold. Miu, who was shivering as if he was cold, clutched his own shoulder.

I let go of Miu’s wrist, which I had been holding, as he had lost the will to resist. Miu continued to repeat the same words without looking at me.

His tone had returned to the old Miu.

“A, aah... A... I’m sorry... That’s not what I meant... It’s my fault... It’s all my fault, Senior... Aah...”

“...Miu?”

As if trying to block out something