Chapter 50

Recommendation ticket!

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"Ha ha, I thought some great deity had come, but it's just the Pagoda-Bearing Heavenly King Li Jing, another one of my old defeated foes." Sun Wukong pointed at the sky and laughed heartily: "The Heavenly Court really has no one left to send. Five hundred years ago, you were sent to capture me, and now, five hundred years later, you're sent again. Woman surnamed Li, can't you make any progress?"

The muscles around Li Jing's eyes twitched noticeably, clearly irritated by Sun Wukong's words. She glared and said, "Don't flatter yourself here. You're too narcissistic, aren't you? Thinking too highly of yourself is a disease, and it needs to be treated! I didn't come down to earth to capture you. Go play somewhere else."

Sun Wukong retorted, "Hey, what do you mean? If not me, who are you here to capture?"

Zhu Baie squeezed in from the side and said, "Isn't it obvious? Of course, it's to capture me!" She said proudly, "Marshal Tianpeng, once in command of eighty thousand heavenly river soldiers, wielding the magical nine-toothed rake, with extraordinary combat skills, isn't someone any ordinary Heavenly General can capture. That's why they sent someone of Li Tianwang's caliber..."

"Hey, Zhu Baie, don't flatter yourself either," Li Jing shouted, jumping on the cloud. "You lecherous chest-grabbing scoundrel, the Jade Emperor just needs to drive you down to the mortal world to get rid of you. Out of sight, out of mind. Who would go to such lengths to capture you? Do you think we 'Heavenly Civil Servants' have nothing better to do?"

"What's a Heavenly Civil Servant?" Tang Sen asked curiously.

"A civil servant of the Heavenly Court," Zhu Baie explained, shrugging. "A very leisurely job. Generally, there's nothing to do, just eating and waiting to die for thousands of years. Occasionally, we come out to capture a wanted criminal... If I remember correctly, Li Jing's last mission was 500 years ago when she went to Flower Fruit Mountain to capture the demon king Sun Wukong. After that, no demons rebelled, and she's been living off the Heavenly Court for 500 years. I wonder if she's gained any weight."

"I haven't gained any weight!" Li Jing shouted, jumping on the cloud. "I weigh only 46 kilograms, and my figure is top-notch."

"Ah... I... lost!" Zhu Baie fell to her knees with a thud. "I weigh a few pounds more than her..."

"Ha ha ha ha!" Li Jing laughed triumphantly. "Fatso."

"It must be these two big lumps on my chest that add to my weight. If I cut them off, I'd weigh less than Li Jing." Zhu Baie pulled out a knife from somewhere and gestured at her ample chest.

The "horrible" chest bounced and swayed, and even through the clothes, you could see the trajectory of its movement. This thing must weigh a few pounds.

Li Jing also fell to her knees with a thud, hands on the ground, and cried out, "I... lost!"

"Are you kidding me!" Tang Sen finally couldn't hold back, flipping the table and jumping up. "Can you focus on the important things? This is not the time to talk about weight and chest size!"

"Oh, right, we need to get to work. I haven't been on duty for 500 years, and I've almost forgotten the procedures." Li Jing regained her composure, stood up, and pointed at Zhu Baie. "Go play somewhere else. I'm here to capture a wanted criminal, and I don't have time to chat with you."

"Hey, aren't you here to capture me?" Zhu Baie asked curiously.

Li Jing ignored Zhu Baie and turned to Tang Sen. "You, I'm talking to you. Stop looking around. You've violated the Heavenly Law and committed a serious crime. I, the Heavenly General, am here to take you into custody. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you... Ah, no, I've been watching too many Hong Kong crime dramas lately, and I've mixed up the lines. Ahem..."

Li Jing cleared her throat and said seriously, "I am a great general of the heavens, sent by the Jade Emperor with eight thousand heavenly soldiers to subdue demons. Surrender now to avoid unnecessary harm."

Tang Sen covered his face and smiled bitterly. "Alright, even though you seem unreliable from head to toe, I feel you're better than Erlang Shen and Jiling Shen. At least you didn't start fighting as soon as you appeared, and we can have a conversation. Those two started attacking to the death as soon as they showed up, which is outrageous."

"Unreliable? You dare to call me, the Pagoda-Bearing Heavenly King, unreliable?" Li Jing wanted to flip a table but found none, so she just put her hands on her hips. "I am the most reliable general in the Heavenly Court. That's why the Jade Emperor sends me on important missions. No one is more reliable than me."

Tang Sen put on a serious face and asked Li Jing, "Since you're so reliable, can you tell me what I did to violate the Heavenly Law? This has been a mystery to me. If you don't explain it clearly, I won't accept my arrest. You've watched many Hong Kong crime dramas, so you should know that when the police arrest someone, they usually say, 'You are suspected of killing XXX' or 'You are suspected of trafficking in XXX' or 'You are suspected of stealing XXX.' At least the criminal should know what they did wrong, right?"

"Hmm, you have a point. The Jade Emperor has often said that the Heavenly Court's methods of handling cases are too outdated and feudal, and we need to be more humane." Li Jing tilted her head and thought. "Since I'm here to capture you, I should have a proper reason. I can't arrest someone without a reason..."

"So, what's the reason?" Tang Sen asked.

"This..." Li Jing fell into deep thought. After a while, she suddenly slapped her forehead. "Oh, the Emperor didn't tell me."

Tang Sen and his companions: "..."

The heavenly soldiers: "..."

"Wait, I'll call the Emperor and ask." Li Jing took out a phone, which was golden and very impressive, with a large 7-inch screen, making it hard to tell if it was a phone or a tablet.

As soon as she unlocked the screen, it started playing a TV drama, a Hong Kong crime drama from the 1970s... No wonder her phone had a 7-inch screen; it was for watching dramas comfortably.

Everyone sweat-dropped. Li Jing quickly closed the drama window and laughed dryly. "I was watching this before my mission and locked the screen. I didn't expect it to start playing automatically when I unlocked it. Don't mind it. I'll call the Emperor now."

"Beep beep..." The call connected, and Li Jing turned on the speaker. She then loudly said into the phone, "Your Majesty, the wanted criminal Tang Sen is questioning me about what crime he committed. If I can't explain it clearly, he will resist arrest. Please give me some guidance."

There was a long silence on the other end. After a while, a young woman's voice came through. It was a beautiful voice, full of youthful energy, suggesting that the Jade Emperor was in her prime. She said angrily, "How can you be a Heavenly King? You brought eight thousand heavenly soldiers, yet you let a wanted criminal question you? Just capture him, tie him up, and bring him back. Why so much talk?"

Li Jing sweat-dropped and said, "But a new era has arrived, Your Majesty. You said we Heavenly Civil Servants need to be more humane. Telling the criminal what they did wrong is part of being humane."

There was another long silence. The Jade Emperor seemed to sigh and said, "The reason for capturing him cannot be disclosed! It's... ahem... a top secret of the Heavenly Court. In short, that Tang Sen is a madman who has greatly insulted me. As the saying goes, when the lord is humiliated, the minister must die. Since I have been humiliated, you must fight to the death and bring him back immediately."

Tang Sen was unhappy when he heard this. What is this woman up to? She makes it sound like I'm a rapist. But by heaven and earth, I, Tang Sen, have never insulted any woman, let alone the high and mighty Jade Emperor.

All nonsense!

Tang Sen couldn't help but shout, "Hey, Jade Emperor, your phone is on speaker. Can you hear me? I'm Tang Sen. Tell me clearly, when did I ever insult you, causing you to send people to kill me repeatedly? Chang'e only spoke up for me, and you ordered her to be confined. What are you trying to do?"

"Ah, the phone is on speaker?" The female voice on the other end panicked. "Li Tianwang, you've betrayed me, letting me be heard by Tang Sen. My voice isn't something just anyone can hear. I order you to capture Tang Sen immediately and return to the Heavenly Court to receive punishment, immediately, right now... beep... beep..." The call was hung up from the other end.

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