Chapter 20

On Thursday afternoon, after school, TongYan waited for Zhuo Xiang Ming at the school gate.

They’d talked twenty minutes ago. Zhuo Xiang Ming said that he would bea little late, and had Tong Yan wait for him at the tea shop in front of the school.

But at this point, there was a long queue in front of the tea shop, so TongYan was carrying his schoolbag in one hand, a lollipop in his mouth, and waswaiting by the security box’s gate, listening to music.

Not far away, a car honked. Tong Yan glanced over; it was Tong Yang.

“Tong Tong.” Tong Yang called out to him.

“Brother!” Tong Yan ran over, “Why are you here?”

“No one’s home this weekend, you’re spending the two days with ZhuoXiang Ming.” Tong Yang leaned over and opened the passenger side door.“I’m bringing you out to eat today.”

Tong Yan got into the car, pleasantly surprised:“Are you picking me up today?”

TongYang: “Yeah, what do you want to eat?”

“Hotpot!”

Lastweek, when he went to the 21st district with Chai ManMan, he didn’t get to eatanything, Tong Yan always remembered it.

TongYang: “Good, hotpot it is.”

TongYan twisted in his seat, still excited, he wound his headphone cord into ajumbled mess, and Tong Yang said: “Seat belt.”

TongYan quickly responded: “Oh, I forgot.”

With candy still in mouth, he asked unclearly: “Just now, Brother XiangMing told me that he’s going to be late, did something happen, so he couldn’tcome?”

“Eh?” Tong Yang said, “Zhuo Xiang Ming picks youup?”

TongYan: “Of course.”

TongYang: “He picks you up every day? In person?”

TongYan: “Yeah….”

“So free …” Tong Yang hurriedly said, “I was thinkingabout making you call the driver who picks you up, come, hurry.”

Thenhe dialed Zhuo Xiang Ming’s number on his cell phone.

TongYan was anxious: “You didn’t tell him? He just said that he was on his way,why didn’t he come…”

Thecall went through and Zhuo Xiang Ming said: “Tong Yang?”

TongYan: “Brother, are you on your way?”

“I’m almost there, just two more intersections.”He paused, presumably glancing at the caller ID, then Zhuo Xiang Ming asked, “Areyou with Tong Yang?”

TongYan was even more anxious: “Tong Yang came to pick me up, he didn’t know youwere coming, I …”

Zhuo Xiang Ming: “Are you going with him?”

TongYan looked at the streetscape passing by outside of the window, and could only mumble‘Uh-huh’.

“Okay.” After a short pause, Zhuo Xiang Ming said, “I gotit.”

TongYan: “I’m sorry brother, Tong Yang, he didn’t know that you were picking meup, we … we’re going to eat, you come too, OK?”

TongYang raised an eyebrow and glanced at him, but Tong Yan didn’t react, stillapologizing to Zhuo Xiang Ming: “I didn’t expect this, I’m sorry.”

Zhuo Xiang Ming comforted him on the other end: “It’s fine, I’ll headback. It’s just ten minutes, not too far.”

TongYan spoke in a quiet voice: “Then, you’ll eat by yourself?”

Zhuo Xiang Ming made a sound of agreement.

TongYang coughed again, and Tong Yan ignored him.

He felt that he had done something wrong, but it seemed like it didn’tmatter. He couldn’t sense whether or not Zhuo Xiang Ming was angry, so he felt verytangled. Zhuo Xiang Ming said gently: “Go enjoy your meal, but don’t comeback too late. You still have school tomorrow.”

“Yes! Yes!” Tong Yan was excited that Zhuo Xiang Ming was now settingsome rules for him, his guilt dropping a bit, “What time should I comeback?”

Howcould Zhuo Xiang Ming know what Tong Yang was thinking? After thinking over it,he said, “Before eleven o’clock.”

TongYan immediately agreed: “Okay!”

Before hanging up, Zhuo Xiang Ming told Tong Yang: “Don’t let himeat anything too spicy, he’s had a small cough these few days, maybe it’s acold.”

TongYang: “Yeah, I’ll remember.”

Thephone call over, Tong Yan felt a moment of listlessness. Tong Yang drove thecar while regularly sending messages to someone.

Finally,they reached the hot pot restaurant, and Tong Yan’s spirit woke up again.However, Tong Yang wouldn’t let him order the wickedly spicy menu, asking for mild.Tong Yan was so angry that he refused to eat, and the two of them butted heads,in the end, they settled on medium spicy.

“Is it easy for me?” The dishes were served quickly, Tong Yangswiped his phone screen as they waited for the pot to boil. “Go back tonightand say that your cough has worsened, and that I didn’t take good care of you.”

TongYan was still not satisfied: “Eating a few chili peppers won’t do anything.”

TongYang asked in a strange accent: “OK, can I be your master now?”

TongYan: “I’m my own master.”

TongYang: “Never would’ve guessed ……”

TongYan glared at him: “Why are you so weird?”

TongYang: “I’m weird?”

TongYan: “You’re not weird?”

Thechili oil pot was boiling, Tong Yang lowered some beef and frozen tofu into it,changing the topic: “Your favorites.”

TongYan didn’t respond, after a while, he asked: “Why did you say I can’t havespicy food, is it because you’re afraid Zhuo Xiang Ming will say you didn’t takegood care of me?”

TongYan’s face was drawn tight, and his two hands gripped the chopsticks tightly. TongYang adjusted the size of the fire as he spoke, “What ‘why’? What else? Didn’the say to not let you eat anything too spicy?”

TongYan: “Didn’t you hear him say I have a cough?”

“What’s wrong?” Tong Yang moved some meat to Tong Yan’s plate,“Is it serious?”

TongYan put down his chopsticks and lowered his eyes, not looking at the meat hewas given. He also folded his hands under the table, sitting still.

After waiting for a while, Tong Yang frowned: “What are you upset about?”

TongYan still didn’t speak.

TongYang was most worried about him becoming like this, he heaved a sigh: “Youngmaster, where have I offended you again?”

He let out a long sigh again: “I rejected two dinner invitations tocome here. I apologize to you; I shouldn’t have been weird. Don’t be angry,eat, okay?”

TongYan: “Do you think I’m making trouble for no reason?”

TongYang: “Never.”

He put more food on Tong Yan’s plate again, it was packed: “Eat quickly,it’s covered in oil, it won’t taste good when it’s cold.”

TongYan looked up: “Why didn’t you ask me about my cough?”

“Stillthis topic?” Tong Yang said helplessly, “Can I be concerned now? Little brotherTong Yan, do you have a bad cough? Do you want big brother to bring you to thehospital for a checkup?”

Because no one was eating, there were too many things in the pot, and itsoon made popping sounds.

TongYan grabbed the leather sofa and said quietly: “Why haven’t you asked meabout the rumors? It’s been six days since Saturday, you never called me, and neitherdid dad, why? Even my classmate’s mother knows about it, and my classmate saidthat her mother was worried that I wouldn’t want to go to school because of it.Why haven’t you asked?”

TongYang’s expression still hadn’t had time to change, he was frowning slightly, somewhatimpatient because of Tong Yan’s quibbling. Now, he stared blankly, his mouth openedslightly, releasing a ‘ah’, but he said nothing.

“I thought you came over today because of that, but no, you’ve beenconstantly texting other people. If it wasn’t for telling me not to go homethis weekend, would you even have come?”

TongYan didn’t want to cry, but the tears just flowed out, one drop after another.He felt pathetic and humiliated, but he didn’t wipe away his tears, staring at TongYang in that state.

TongYang: “I … because, I’ve been very busy lately, you know that bigbrother has a shortage of people over there, we’re especially busy … Ithought that, because you’re with Zhuo Xiang Ming, I was confident he’d …Tong Tong …”

He reached out to wipe Tong Yan’s tears, but Tong Yan turned away fromhim.

“Dad … he’s been abroad all week, he’ll probably be back in fourdays or so.” Looking at Tong Yan’s tearful face, Tong Yang found itdifficult to speak.

When Tong Yan was a little over four years old, his mother died ofillness. At that time, Tong Yang was thirteen years old, and the responsibilityof caring for his younger brother fell on him.

Achild had no understanding of death, the most direct impact on Tong Yan wasthat the pheromones that brought his life a sense of security were no more. TongYang remembered, at that time, Tong Yan cried constantly. He’d cry until he wasout of breath, cry himself to sleep, wake up, and continue crying.

But after he got used to it, he became very sensible. He didn’t cry, didn’tmake noise, ate all of his food by himself, and never got himself dirty likeother children.

TongYang liked this younger brother most of the time, but because Tong Yan was toosmall, he couldn’t play some of the big boy games with him. His friends rejectedTong Yan, thinking he would hold them back, so Tong Yang was helpless, andcould only lock Tong Yan inside the house before going out, instructing him:“Behave, okay? Stay home for two hours, and big brother will sleep withyou tonight.”

Theround-faced and round-eyed Tong Yan looked up at him, his small, soft hands tuggingat the lower helm of his jacket, nodding enthusiastically: “Brother, you haveto come back quickly.”

TongYang emphasized: “I’ll be gone for two hours.”

Tong Yan most likely didn’t understand the concept of two hours, when Tong Yang locked the door, he ran to the window and waved at Tong Yang: “Brother, brother! Come back soon!”

Boyswere always wild, Tong Yang stayed out from noon to dark, returning homeafter God knows how many hours had passed. The worker who cooked for them hadalready left. When he turned on the lights, he found Tong Yan hiding behind thedoor. He sat there, his hands folded between his belly and legs. His eyes were clearand black, and he looked at Tong Yang very pitifully, asking: “Brother,why didn’t you come home? I was very scared.”

Whydidn’t you ask me about my cough? Why haven’t you asked me about the rumors?Why didn’t you come home?

TongYan hadn’t cried in front of him for a long time. Fragments from his childhoodflashing in his mind, Tong Yang was stumped, unable to speak.

TongYang once again reached out to wipe Tong Yan’s tears, this time, Tong Yan didn’tavoid him. Tong Yang’s palm was all wet, but there were still some tears left.

“Eat something.” Tong Yang said.

ButTong Yan shook his head: “I don’t want to eat.”

He spoke very softly and a little hoarsely, but the distance was close enoughfor Tong Yang to hear it clearly: “What?”

“I’m not eating.” Tong Yan said, “I’m going back.”

TongYang’s annoyance rose up again: “Give me a break, Tong Yan. What is up with youtoday?”

Hestood up and sat back down, the pot was seriously about to boil over, so TongYang simply turned off the fire. “Didn’t I give you an explanation? Why are youstill angry?”

TongYan didn’t think that he was particularly angry, but he also didn’t want tostay with Tong Yang. Just like how, even though he was very hungry now, lookingat the pot of over-cooked food, he still didn’t want to eat it.

“Take me back.” He picked up his schoolbag and turned away, butwas dragged back by Tong Yang.

“Back to where?”

TongYan: “Zhou Xiang Ming’s house.”

“Now you call him Zhuo Xiang Ming?” Tong Yang suddenly sneered,“Just now, wasn’t it ‘brother, brother’? I understand, you and him are close.You couldn’t stand it when he blandly said ‘I got it’, let alone making him driveten minutes in vain. And letting him eat alone? You especially couldn’t stand that,right? What am I? I’m an awfully cheap doormat!“

TongYan shook at the word ‘cheap’, and his eyes flushed again. He didn’t want to sayanother word to Tong Yang. His free hand was being held by Tong Yang, so he tossedaway his schoolbag and pulled out his cell phone to call Zhuo Xiang Ming.

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Author’s Note:

Tong Yang: Please, constructive criticism only

T/N:

Weird- Hotand cold personality/Eccentric

Wild- tojust want to have fun, and to shy away from self-discipline

I’m an awfully cheap doormat!- That whole rant was hard to translate, but I think I got it closeenough. ‘Doormat’ = to show warm feelings but be meet with cold rebuke (idiom).And Jian/Cheap is a very harsh and mean word in Chinese. You don’t want to becalled cheap.

It’s strange, I’m used to Chinese novelshaving stupidly melodramatic conflicts – murder plots, betrayal, sabotage- andhere we just have a pretty realistic argument between brothers.