Chapter 21

When Zhuo Xiang Ming arrived, Tong Yan wasno longer crying. He sat opposite Tong Yang, separated by a hot pot. The soupin the pot was half-dried, and it was already cold. There was a lot of meat inside,after the chili oil had condensed, they formed into small floating lumps.

TongYan was hugging his schoolbag, his head lowered. Tong Yang was holding his cellphone in his hand, staring at it, but the screen was dark.

Both were extremely despondent. When Zhuo Xiang Ming was led in by thewaiter, he saw this scene.

Hecalled out: “Tong Tong.”

TongYan immediately looked up, and Tong Yang did the same. Zhuo Xiang Ming walkedto the table and put his hand on Tong Yan’s shoulder, saying to Tong Yang,“Then, I’ll take him back first.” “

TongYang looked away, sorting out his clothes, he said, “Ok, you guys head back.”

“Let’s go.” Zhuo Xiang Ming lightly pressed Tong Yan’s shoulder, “Giveme your schoolbag.”

TongYan murmured: “I’ll hold it myself.”

Hisvoice was still nasally, and his eyes were puffy and red.

Zhuo Xiang Ming took the schoolbag from his hand, and the two walked awayin single file. Then, Zhuo Xiang Ming suddenly said, “You didn’t saygoodbye to your brother.”

TongYan stopped walking, and straightened his back ramrod straight. Silent, and notlooking at anything in particular.

They were already a short distance away from Tong Yang. Zhuo Xiang Minglooked at Tong Yan’s stiff little face and wanted to smile, but he also felt distressedfor him. He bowed his head and said, “We’ll only leave after you say goodbye.”

TongYan’s eyes watered again, glaring at him: “I won’t.”

Theteenager was tall and slender, wearing a white shirt inside his school uniform,red lips and white teeth, his eyes were moist, bright and round, and his black hairwas soft and fluffy. His indignant look was also very cute, like a budding daffodil.

Zhuo Xiang Ming hung the schoolbag on the crook of his arm, pulling a reluctantTong Yan into a hug, saying by Tong Yan’s ear: “Be obedient, ok?”

TongYan took a deep breath: “I hate him.”

“Don’t say that.” Zhuo Xiang Ming gently hugged him again, pattinghim on the back. “Alright, calm down, go say goodbye, then we’ll go home.”

TongYan’s arms hung loosely by his side, and he stiffly leaned on Zhuo Xiang Ming’schest, his eyes on Zhuo Xiang Ming’s shoulder socket. After a while, he said,“You made me go.”

Zhuo Xiang Ming: “I made you go.”

TongYang was still sitting in the booth, Tong Yan saw him as soon as he turnedaround. There was a cold pot in front of him, and he was sitting alone, stillin the position he’d left him.

“Brother.” Tong Yan stopped two steps away from him, “I’mleaving.”

TongYang didn’t expect him to come back, the dejection on his face was fullyrevealed. He hurriedly put on a quite ugly smile: “Alright, drive safe.”

TongYan felt the tears coming on again, but in the end, he held it back, properlysaying his “goodbyes” to Tong Yang.

Zhuo Xiang Ming had left first to settle the bill. This time, Tong Yang followed them downstairs, and watched Tong Yan get into Zhuo Xiang Ming’s car. Zhuo Xiang Ming didn’t leave immediately. After a moment, Tong Yang bent over and said to the passenger side, “Big brother will come pick you up after the busy spell is over. Go to school properly. It’s getting colder, so wear some more layers.”

Itwas completely dark, saying these things, Tong Yang couldn’t manage to force ahappy expression, the neon lights behind him casting strange shadows that madehim look somewhat pitiful.

TongYan nodded towards him, and Zhuo Xiang Ming started the car, but didn’t leave,saying: “They have a sports meeting this weekend, Tong Yan picked the 400mrelay race.”

“Eh, oh.” Tong Yang was stunned, “Ganbatte.”

TongYan: “Thanks.”

Thetwo brothers were awkward, but Zhuo Xiang Ming seemed to be in the mood todilly-dally. Still not leaving, he again said, “On last Friday’s quiz, he gotfirst place in his class, and second in his grade, one-point behind the first.”

TongYang looked at Zhuo Xiang Ming, then looked back at Tong Yan, scratching theback of his head: “You did so well? Why didn’t you tell me?”

TongYan didn’t answer, and Tong Yang looked quite helpless.

Finally, he took out his wallet and pulled out a wad of cash, stuffingit into Tong Yan’s arms: “Here, buy whatever you want with this.”

After that, he again took out a card and gaveit to Tong Yan, adding, “I also topped up your other card two days ago. Takea look. Don’t be shy about using it, just tell me if it’s not enough.”

TongYan remembered, he’d received a transfer message two days ago, he seemed torecall getting it at around three in the morning.

“Why did you transfer money at that time?”

TongYang himself couldn’t remember: “What time?”

TongYan looked at his cell phone: “2:48 am”

“Oh, might have been overtime.” Tong Yang said.

“I’ve been working overtime recently.” He hazarded a smile at TongYan, lowering his head, he lightly tapped Zhuo Xiang Ming’s front car tire withthe tip of his shoe: “My days and nights are reversed. I always thinkabout calling you, but I forget a moment later, or the timing is wrong, or I accidentallyfall asleep… Big brother was wrong, I’m sorry.”

He didn’t apologize to Tong Yan often, and Tong Yan couldn’t even seem torecall him ever giving him a straightforward apology. Saying something likethis at this time, the most uncomfortable one was Tong Yan.

“No … you didn’t… actually, I was also wrong …” Tong Yangrabbed the hand Tong Yang had placed on the window, tearfully saying,“Brother …”

TongYang pinched his face: “This is the second time you haven’t eaten hot pot.Let’s try again next time.”

Aftersaying this, he glanced at his watch again, hesitatingly adding: “It’s justseven o’clock, we could …”

Asif he didn’t hear this muttering, Zhuo Xiang Ming suddenly put the car in driveand said, “It’s late, we’re heading out first. Drive safe, Tong Yang.”

TongYang said his goodbyes, and Zhuo Xiang Ming drove out as soon as he pulled hishand away. They turned a corner, this time, there was no stopping.

–

TongYan was clutching the wad of money. He packed it into his wallet along with thecard, and Zhuo Xiang Ming casually handed him a bottle of banana milk. Tong Yansaid: “Thank you.”

Zhuo Xiang Ming hummed in acknowledgement, anda moment later, Tong Yan said again: “Thank you, brother.”

This time, Zhuo Xiang Ming understood why he was thanking him, andsmiled: “Don’t mention it.”

Tong Yan was distressed: “I’m terrible.”

Zhuo Xiang Ming: “Why do you say that?”

TongYan: “I was thinking, why couldn’t I be considerate to Tong Yang, likeyou? If I was willing to tell him about myself, like you did, we wouldn’t have arguedtonight. He managed to carve out some free time for me, but I just argued withhim.”

Zhao Xiang Ming thought for a moment, then said, “I think you’remisunderstanding something. Do you think I did what I did, because I understandand agree with Tong Yang’s actions?”

TongYan turned to look at him: “Didn’t you? I didn’t even give him a chance to explainhimself, I just lost my temper at him. I accused him of not caring about me,and said a lot of excessive things, then I immediately demanded that he bringme back.”

Takinga few sips of banana milk, Tong Yan looked very remorseful, and veryguilt-ridden, saying again, “If I was more like you, we wouldn’tquarrel.”

“It’sbecause you looked so miserable.” Zhuo Xiang Ming said, “It’s becauseI knew, if I let you leave in that state, you wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight.Over the next few days, when you don’t see Tong Yang, you’ll think about yourfight constantly. And if you left the dispute unsettled, you’ll cry in secret, overand over again.”

“First, you’ll tell yourself that it wasn’t a big deal, but you clearlycan’t even convince yourself. Then, you’ll start to question yourself. Did I gotoo far? Was I too aggressive towards Tong Yang? After that, you’ll start toblame yourself, but at that point, the other person isn’t in front of you, so youcan’t even apologize.”

Encounteringa red light, Zhuo Xiang Ming reached over to help fasten Tong Yan’s seatbelt, whichhe had forgotten about, saying, “From deciding that the other person wasexcessive, to suspecting that you’re the one who was excessive, this is a very complicatedand painful process.”

Helooked into Tong Yan’s eyes: “I don’t want you to suffer like that.”

TongYan also looked at Zhuo Xiang Ming–they were so close, he had no choice but tolook at him.

ZhuoXiang Ming’s eyes were very gentle, making Tong Yan feel like he was a treasureworthy of being treasured: “I made you say goodbye to him, and said allthose things to him, not because I agree with him—I can’t understand him. Doyou want to hear the truth? When you called me while crying, and I heard howcruel he was being to you, in my head, I just wanted to lay him out. But I ‘helpedyou’ talk it out with Tong Yang. Us ‘winning’ the argument wouldn’t have reallymade you happy. Your problem needed to be settled, I didn’t want to let you suffer.”

Hearing “lay him out”, Tong Yan was stunned, he examined Zhuo XiangMing, finding that his expression was still the same, honest and serious– TongYan wouldn’t want anyone to beat up Tong Yang, but hearing Zhuo Xiang Ming saysuch a thing was really quite abnormal, making him want to smile.

After the red light passed, Zhuo Xiang Ming drove single handedly, tappingTong Yan’s wrist with the other hand, motioning him to continue drinking hismilk: “It’ll be a while before you can eat.”

“When you get older, you’ll find that no matter what thecontradiction, it will always fade away. Regardless of if you choose to face itimmediately, or let time deal with it, it will always fade away. But in thisworld, there’s no such thing as a shortcut. If you leave this work to time, whileit solves the problem for you, it will also return the pain to you.”

TongYan asked: “So, no matter the problem, do I have to face it immediately?”

Zhuo Xiang Ming: “Whenever it’s painful. Tong Tong, don’t give it achance to torment you.”

After thinking over it, Tong Yan said: “But I’mstill in the wrong. I really didn’t give him time to explain.”

Zhuo Xiang Ming: “Why are you in the wrong? I’m the one who gave TongYang information just now, but you also could’ve told him those things yourself.Why didn’t you? It’s because you wanted him to ask, right?”

Aftera pause, Zhuo Xiang Ming said: “You can obviously bring everything up yourself,but you just feel that, if the other person asks first, the meaning isdifferent, right?”

TongYan nodded, his eyes reddening: “Sometimes, I feel confused. I think I’m right,but it also seems wrong … because my thoughts aren’t as clear as brother’s, Iwasn’t able to explain my feelings.”

Zhuo Xiang Ming said gently: “Because you’re growing up for thefirst time, you lack the experience to handle these things. It’s the elders’ responsibilityto help children grow up with as little suffering as possible.”

Growingup for the first time, this was the first time Tong Yan heard such a phrase.Zhuo Xiang Ming was truly quite amazing. He could reason so well, no matterwhen, he could let Tong Yan stand on the side of rationality.

Notonly could he make Tong Yan feel rational, he could make Tong Yan feelrational, while preventing suffering.

Now,Tong Yang had already apologized to him, and his chest also no longer ached. TongYan once again thought: Zhuo Xiang Ming is truly amazing. He’s such a goodperson, why is he celibate?

This question suddenly popped up, it was simply part of the confusion,but Tong Yan repeatedly began to ponder over it: Why is he celibate?

The car came to a halt, but they weren’t at Zhuo Xiang Ming’s house.

Zhuo Xiang Ming leaned over to help Tong Yanunfasten his seat belt, then smiled and said, “Let’s eat hot pot.”

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Author’sNote:

ZhuoXiang Ming: Tong Yang, you only get one chance to bring Tong Tong out to eathot pot

T/N:

I’ll just say it, this is my favoritechapter in this story, and the whole reason I decided to translate it. I won’treveal too much online, but what ZXM said to TongTong touched me on a personallevel. I hope I was able to properly convey everything in English.