Chapter 19

19

Why is that bastard smirking and acting up? Hessen felt a chill run down his spine and cursed under his breath as he lifted the teapot.

“Oh, right. You do act like you’ve lost your memory.”

He answered absent-mindedly, but the words left a bad taste in his mouth. Owen wasn’t the type to spout nonsense. There’s definitely something more to it. Hessen put down the teapot, halfway through pouring water into the glass, and turned to Owen.

“What is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Hey, no, bro. Be honest. What’s going on? That guy suddenly acting weird, you know.”

“How is he weird?”

“Stop dodging the question!”

As Owen kept up his act, Hessen felt his head about to explode with anger. He gulped down the water he had poured and asked in a rather threatening tone.

“Tell me. What is it?”

“I don’t know….”

Owen, who hadn’t even taken a puff of his cigarette, put it in the ashtray and stood up from the sofa. Realizing he was about to leave without giving a proper answer, Hessen was speechless with frustration.

That damn bastard. I’ll make him kneel one day.

Hessen’s blood boiled every time Owen acted like this. Being ignored always felt the worst. Hessen couldn’t contain his anger and woke his spirit, but as always, it did nothing.

Feeling his spirit Tera envelop his body, Hessen clenched his fists. Owen, who turned to look at him, smiled at the yellow, chick-like Tera.

“When is your spirit going to grow up? Even a newborn is bigger than that.”

“Shut up.”

Owen, grinning with his eyes squinted, walked to the door and waved. Hessen’s stomach twisted at his infuriatingly calm demeanor.

“You know, Hessen.”

Click, Owen opened the door and turned to Hessen just before leaving the living room.

“Whatever I do, it’s all for Everett.”

And the door closed. Left alone in the living room, Hessen unleashed his spirit power, flipping everything over.

After the commotion, the living room was a mess. Hessen, standing there, glared at the door and growled in a fierce voice.

“Bastard. Do you really think I won’t find out what you’re up to?”

* * *

Two days later, Theodore came to see me.

I had spent the past two days resting in my room, so I hadn’t gone out and had no chance to run into him.

I had been trying to erase him from my mind, and I was relatively calm, but seeing him again made me feel uncomfortable as usual.

Moreover, he still seemed to have lost his memory. When will his memory come back? I found it very awkward to deal with him, who acted like a completely different person.

Even if he treats me kindly now… once he regains his memory, won’t everything go back to how it was before?

I don’t want to taste his warmth. If I experience it, I’ll feel terribly miserable when I lose it later. So, I wish he would notice and keep his distance.

“…”

Biting the inside of my cheek and avoiding his gaze, I felt him sigh softly. He had been trying to engage in casual conversation, but I didn’t want to be in such a tender scene with him.

So, I kept giving short answers or pretending not to know the topics he brought up, and Theodore looked a bit tired.

Well, it’s for the best. He must be tired and bored. I wish he would give up now…

…But it seems my wish won’t come true. Theodore inevitably spoke up.

“At that time… why were you wearing a maid’s uniform?”

By “that time,” he meant when I met Hessen and fainted. There were many reasons to dodge the question about why I was wearing a maid’s uniform. I answered in my usual manner.

“I wanted to go out, but clothes made of fine fabric stand out too much.”

“…I received a report from the villagers that day. They said the heir of the Everett family forcibly took a maid from the Valentino castle.”

Oh, right… I overlooked the possibility that the villagers might have reported it. If they said something about my fake identity…

“The villagers said the maid’s name was ‘Lea.’ She works at the Valentino castle and sometimes comes down to the village to distribute food and necessities…”

“…”

“…Are you okay? Please be honest. Have you been secretly helping the villagers in the guise of a maid?”

I tightly clasped my hands on my lap and bit my lip.

I don’t want to boast about this. If Theodore finds out, it will only seem hypocritical. But…

“…”

I glanced at Theodore. The problem is that he has become softer since losing his memory of me.

If I admit, “Yes, I’ve been helping people,” how will he react? Will he be moved by my good deeds? I don’t think I’ll feel much when I see him moved. Maybe… I want to see how the ‘him before he lost his memory’ would react.

Not the one who has forgotten all the hatred.

I reached out and lifted my teacup. I took a sip of the lukewarm tea. The temperature of this tea felt just like my heart. I don’t even know what I want anymore. I just feel old and tired.

“It was just a hobby.”

“…A hobby?”

“Sometimes, when I was bored, I would go down to the village and distribute things the people needed. That’s all.”

I don’t want to make this sound like some grand act of charity by a duchess. If Theodore Valentino praises me for being kind, I’ll feel twisted inside. I don’t want his approval. I don’t need it anymore.

“…I understand for now.”

“…”

I kept drinking the tea to soothe my churning stomach. Theodore’s mouth moved as if he wanted to say more, but he didn’t. After a moment of silence, he brought up another topic.

“…I have another question.”

“Yes, go ahead.”

I wanted to ask him to leave, but I nodded calmly. I still had some patience left.

“Actually….”

Theodore paused and took a vial from his coat pocket. I recognized it immediately. …It was as expected. I already knew from Charlotte that Theodore had taken this vial.

“I had it checked by the apothecary again. It’s a sleeping aid, they said.”

“…”

“But it’s made from highly toxic herbs, and they said it’s harmful to the body if taken daily.”

I avoided his gaze again. I didn’t like his cautious, probing eyes. Hadn’t he heard from Lady Seymour or the retainers about how we ended up married and what our relationship was like…? By now, he should have heard everything.

“Did you really… take this medicine every day? Without missing a single day?”

Theodore’s voice trembled slightly as he asked. I was taken aback by his uncharacteristic concern. It felt strange, coming from someone who never cared about what medicine I took.

What he’s showing now… is probably concern and worry. I once tried to get his attention, spoke to him, and even acted to get his notice. But he never responded to my wishes.

Now, I finally get a piece of his concern and worry, but I don’t feel happy at all. If I were the old me, I might have felt hopeful and happy.

But that me… seems to have withered and died. I’ve heard that some plants bloom once in their lifetime and then wither and die. Maybe I’m like one of those plants.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“…”

“So, I took the medicine.”

“…Every day, this medicine.”

“Every day. Without missing a single day.”

There’s nothing to hide.

I nodded indifferently, and Theodore stared at me blankly.

The hand holding the vial seemed to tighten, and I could feel the spirit power building up in the air.

“…?”

I widened my eyes slightly and looked at him. I couldn’t understand why he suddenly awakened his spirit. Theodore’s hand, with a hardened expression, was soon enveloped in blue flames. I flinched in surprise.

A moment later, there was nothing left in his hand.

The blue flames had burned the medicine and the vial completely.

“…”

Seeing my frozen, bewildered expression, Theodore sighed. …He looked angry. What reason did he have to be angry? I couldn’t understand and blinked.

“Never take that medicine again, the one I just burned.”

“…I took two pills yesterday and slept.”

“You took two pills?”

“After a while, I developed a tolerance, so I increased the dose from one to two.”

Theodore let out a bitter laugh and sprang to his feet. He approached the bedside table and asked.

“Where is it, the bottom drawer of this table?”

“What are you going to do?”

“Burn it.”

He opened the drawer without my permission and took out another vial. The vial also burned and disappeared in his hand. Theodore said in a voice that seemed to be suppressing his anger.

“If there’s any left, take it out. I’m going to burn it all.”

“…”

I felt a bit irritable and replied.

“There’s nothing left. That’s all of it.”

“Are you sure? You’re not lying?”

“…Why are you doing this?”

I stood up and approached the wardrobe, glaring at him. My patience was running thin. Theodore walked straight toward me, looking me in the eye.

“Why am I doing this? Don’t you know?”

“It’s just a sleeping aid.”

“It’s poison! Long-term use can shorten your lifespan!”

“That’s one of its effects.”

“…What?”

Theodore stopped in front of me. His eyes seemed to burn with a fierce blue flame. I met his gaze and answered calmly.

“There are people in this world who want to sleep forever.”