Chapter 51

51

...Who would dare to knock so rudely on the door of the duchess's room at the Valentin mansion? Even without asking, I knew who the unwelcome visitor was outside the door.

I lifted my head and said in a faint voice,

"Come in."

The door immediately swung open. It seemed he had heard my soft voice clearly. ...Or perhaps, he had no intention of waiting for an answer.

I stood up straight from my seat. Theodore approached me in quick strides from the doorway and stopped in front of me, looking down at me with cold, emotionless eyes.

Eyes that showed no warmth.

And in a chilly voice, he said,

"I heard a strange story from the knights and my secretary."

"..."

"That I had lost my memory."

Indeed, it was about the time when he would have heard stories from others.

However, I didn't expect him to come to me so quickly.

I thought he would first deal with the backlog of work.

Theodore Valentin, who always prioritized the affairs of the estate, would have done so and more.

But, when he had lost his memory...

Would he have even set aside the affairs of the estate and come to find me first?

"..."

Why am I thinking about this, I wonder.

It's all meaningless...

"Indeed, there is a gap in my memory."

Theodore muttered as he paced in front of me, his brow furrowed in evident displeasure.

Yes, it must be unpleasant.

He must have heard the incredible story that he had been affectionate to Lily Everett, whom he despised.

...Thinking about it again, it was really absurd. The others must have felt the same way. Theodore Valentin being kind to the daughter of the enemy family—ancestors of the Valentin family would rise from their graves.

"I remember up to the point where I was injured during the last expedition."

But he seemed to be staring intently at the air, as if there was something he couldn't understand.

...Perhaps, he couldn't remember the details of how he got injured?

Again, suspicion about Owen and his mage arose. ...However, Theodore's memory had almost fully returned, and if there was anything suspicious, he would have remembered it soon. So, there was no need for me to step in.

Besides, I didn't like stepping in.

...He would surely suspect and resent me, thinking I was up to something for the Everett family. For the current Theodore Valentin, that would be natural.

"Let me ask you one thing."

Theodore stopped in front of me again and began with a meaningful tone.

I lifted my slightly bowed head to meet his gaze and responded.

"Ask away."

"You."

His icy eyes fixed on me.

"Did you deceive me when I lost my memory?"

"..."

For a moment, my mind went blank, and I couldn't think of anything.

You're asking if I deceived you...?

Are you really asking this seriously?

...It's a foolish question.

Of course, he must be serious. ...I had forgotten during those short days. Theodore thought of me as a mere lackey of Everett.

That was our 'normal.'

"Did you lie to me, saying we were a happy couple?"

Theodore's question came again. Looking into his eyes, which showed no trace of kindness, a laugh escaped my lips. It was a self-mocking laugh.

Stupid Lily Everett, what did you expect?

Deep self-loathing and resentment filled my heart. I no longer wanted to hide it. I wanted to reveal how black my heart truly was. I really, really wanted to give up now.

There was a time when I hoped he would understand my pain, that he would notice me. But those days are over.

I will now completely kill that part of me from those days.

If loving someone means suffering, I will cut that love out. Anyway, it seems I am destined to never be happy until I die.

"Why are you laughing?"

Theodore frowned and asked. With nothing left to hide, I answered without hesitation.

"Because it's funny."

"What's so funny?"

He seemed a bit angry. But strangely, he no longer frightened me. In the past, his sharp words, irritations, and anger always shook my heart.

Now, my heart didn't sink or race with anxiety. Instead, I felt a heightened sense of emotion. Perhaps I had gone mad. I continued to laugh and said,

"His Excellency, Duke Valentin, why would I deceive you? For what?"

"Obviously, for your Everett family."

His words made me laugh again. Theodore Valentin is blind. After living with me for a year and six months, he still hasn't noticed. Was it because I played the role of a meek doll too well?

"Are you really crazy? I'm asking you seriously."

Theodore asked in a voice filled with anger. I clutched my stomach and answered with intermittent laughter.

"Poor you. You only realized now that you married a crazy woman."

"Exactly why are you acting like this?"

"Why am I acting like this? This is how I've always been. Listen well, His Excellency, Duke Valentin. I'll say this only once. I have hated the Everett scum for a long time. If I could execute those devils with my own hands, I would have no regrets in life. Especially Owen, that wicked human trash, I can never forgive him."

When I spoke of the Everett devils, my voice always brimmed with hatred. The deep-seated grudge clung to my heart like a sticky substance. This grudge would never disappear until I killed those bastards.

"You've been mistaken all along. You thought I would do anything for Everett. That I was a loyal servant to those bastards."

"..."

"Why did you never listen to me? I tried to tell you many times. You always turned your back on me and hated me. No matter how much you hated me, you should have at least understood how much I hated those bastards!"

As I shouted, overwhelmed by emotion, Theodore stared at me blankly. His gaze was like he was looking at something completely unfamiliar. ...Of course, I had never fully revealed myself to him.

"Did you hear that? Did your secretary or knights tell you? About how Lennon Chester tried to rape me recently."

"..."

Theodore seemed genuinely shocked. His eyes widened in horror, and his eyelids trembled. I smiled, just like in the greenhouse, speaking without restraint, no longer hiding. I crushed the me who had feared his hatred.

"That's why you burned half of his face. You don't remember, do you?"

"..."

"Since it went to trial, you should have heard the details from your secretary. You should be able to answer when others ask."

"..."

"Lastly, I have never deceived you. I never even thought about it. It was you who approached me first when I was standing still."

After finishing my words, I turned my back to him, my expression cold. As I headed for the bathroom, Theodore suddenly grabbed my wrist. When I tried to shake him off, he held my shoulders with both hands.

"What happened? That bastard...!"

His face was filled with shock and anger. Shock was understandable, but what was he angry about? Ah, perhaps His Excellency, Duke Valentin's strong sense of justice was stirred by Lennon Chester's atrocity.

One corner of my mouth curled up in a crooked smile. I met his gaze without averting my eyes and said,

"Do you know? ...That wasn't the first time that bastard tried to rape me."

"..."

"Even when I was at the Everett castle, he always looked for opportunities when I was alone, checked if my door was locked, and tried to lure me to places where no one was around..."

"..."

"...That bastard has been like that for a long time. But... that trash, Lennon Chester, was a potential candidate for my remarriage. Can you imagine how terrifying that was for me?"

My eyes stung with the heat of continuous anger and the injustice of enduring those painful years. I forced a smile and spoke softly.

"...Now you understand, right? How much... I want to kill those bastards."

"..."

People only see what they want to see in others and solidify that image in their hearts.

Theodore Valentin did that to me.

And now, I have shattered that false image.

Now, you must understand. Who Lily Everett truly is.

I grabbed the wrist that held my shoulder with both hands. At that moment, Theodore flinched, his eyelashes trembling. His gaze, which had been fixed on me, wavered like a candle in the wind.

Smiling like it was a spring day, I whispered,

"You knew, didn't you? That I had feelings for you."