Chapter 1 - My Love Rival Has Been Acting Weird Lately

Chapter 1: My Love Has Been Acting Weird Lately

【Help】My love rival who’s in the same dorm as me has been acting weird lately. What should I do? I feel so flustered, what do I do?! Waiting online! Urgent!

—— Bei Gu 1

Lin Pointy Brows: Second comment.

Eccentric Ultimate Gong: What’s the matter? Tell us so we can enjoy ourselves.

Dance of Angels: Commenter above, be more serious! This is a very serious post requesting help. Although, OP, it would be best if you explain the situation in more detail first so that we can enjoy our-……Ah! I beg your pardon, my hand slipped. I mean, analyze. Yes, analyze.

【Original Poster】 Bei Gu: ……Say, are you people really reliable? (dubious expression)

It’s been said that chatterboxes ought to die : Does the OP want to get better or not?! I’m telling you, there’s no one more reliable than us in this world!

Eccentric Ultimate Gong : ……I apologize, she forgot to eat her medicine.

Dance of Angels : ……I apologize, she ate the wrong medicine.

Countless flowers bloom along the pathway 2 : What’s going on?

Countless flowers bloom along the pathway : ……I apologize, she ate fake medicine.

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It’s been said that chatterboxes ought to die : Enough, guys! We can’t joke around and have fun anymore!

Mother Aidu 12138 3 : Who wants to play with you? The purpose of your existence is to bring down the average IQ of the forum.

Lazy people naturally have their ways : Holy shit, so poisonous. 4

Heron dragging an axe : Hush, let’s listen to what the OP has to say

You’re not a fish, you’re not me 5 : Sitting in the front row seats eating the melon 6 .

prince yeya 7 : poison the melon

Ah Ming who loves MC Gongs : distribute poison in the melon

You’re not a fish, you’re not me : ……I just want to quietly eat a melon

【Original Poster】 Bei Gu : (facepalm helplessly) Let me give a general introduction of my love rival. Uh, let’s call him “x”. He’s a very very incredible love rival ╯﹏╰ x’s family is a scholarly family, and they are also rich and powerful merchants. So x, raised in this kind of environment, is so incredible to the point that it sure makes others feel inferior! He knows Guqin, Go, Calligraphy, Painting, Poem, Culinary, Tea, Dance, Martial Arts, 8 and even the Western arts like the back of his hand! Not only is he fluent in Japanese, Korean, English, German, French, and Italian, he’s also well versed in all kinds of dialects in China (i.e. Sichuanese, Cantonese, and Shanghainese). Oh! Right. Other than being artistic, x is also pretty good at economics, politics, and investing in the real estate stock market. Most importantly: x is really handsome. He has the type of face that ensures he would never go hungry.

【Original Poster】 Bei Gu : Please allow me to make a super sorrowful 9 expression.

Yao Yao not pixie 10 : Holy shit! I kneel down to this love rival!

Nan Su Li 11 : Holy shit! Must kneel down to this love rival!

The bottle that crossed the river : Holy shit! My kneecaps hurt!

Came down from heaven through a current : Holy shit! Love rival, come and see if I am kneeling properly?

Heron dragging an axe : I hate to break it to you, OP, but I think you should just give up on the girl.

It’s been said that chatterboxes ought to die : +1

Countless flowers bloom along the pathway : +2

Mother Aidu 12138 : +10086

【Original Poster】 Bei Gu : Hey! I’m not the kind of person to give up that easily! That being said, although x is very incredible, I’m not that bad myself! Anyway, the girl didn’t exactly act like she has anybody she likes, so I still have a chance.

Eccentric Ultimate Gong : Eh? So the girl doesn’t like anyone?

【Original Poster】 Bei Gu : Yes. As of now, I can’t tell who she likes. If she likes another person, then I will respect her decision and absolutely will not disturb her.

Lin Pointy Brows : Wahhh….That girl is so lucky, such an excellent person likes her.

It’s not like that : If you were her, you would understand what the situation was.

Lin Pointy Brows : Eh? What makes you say that?

It’s not like that : Nothing. Hey, you guys seem to have gotten off-topic.

【Original Poster】 Bei Gu : Hmm…Then let’s go back to the main topic. Actually, x was a bit strange at the very beginning.

The first time I met x was when school started.

He and y (the girl I like) are childhood friends so he came to drop her off at school. At the time, he wasn’t a student at A University 12 . He studied at some Cambridge University or whatever university overseas. In any case, it’s a really amazing university. Later on, he suddenly decided to come to A University. It just so happened that we got assigned to the same dormitory. I’ve asked him before why. But at the time, he just said: “Because the person I like is here.”

At this moment, please allow me to make a super sorrowful expression.

I’ve been pretty thoughtless 13 all my life, so I didn’t think much of it. Anyways, I was all smiles 14 as I said, “Hm? Who do you like? I’ll tell you I like y.”

I will never forget the look on x’s face at that time. It was like someone had stolen your most precious treasure and there was nothing you could do about it. That kind of profound, silently enduring, surging pain.

Sigh. And so I learned that x came to A University just for y. The me at that time was really too rude and insensitive.

Eccentric Ultimate Gong : I don’t see anything wrong with the love rival.

Dance of Angels : I agree with the commenter above.

【Original Poster】 Bei Gu : Of course there wasn’t anything strange then . But something happened that made me think that there was nothing right about x.

【Original Poster】 Bei Gu : It’s like this. A month ago I had a high fever, so I asked for a leave to rest in the dormitory. Just to add, x and I live in a two-person dorm. But because we were love rivals, I didn’t tell him anything. Thus, I could only lay there like a corpse in the dormitory by myself.

Yet, just as I was feeling dizzy, the door opened. My love rival who never missed his classes came back to the dormitory (btw I’ve never missed a class too~ (- ω – ‘)). After he came in, he wordlessly began to take care of me. I was so surprised that my brain instantly shut down, ok?! Then he asked me if I was hungry while he helped me apply an antipyretic sticker. Honestly, the more I looked at his face at such a close distance, the more I felt that my love rival really was good-looking.

At that time, his eyes were full of concern and I suddenly thought of my mother. I was especially moved and so naturally, I said, “I want to drink millet porridge.” Because every time I had a fever, my mother would cook millet porridge for me.

And then x really did go and make the porridge! (x’s millet porridge is really good! It’s soft, sticky, and fragrant (σ′▽‵)′▽‵)σ）

【Original Poster】 Bei Gu : Through this event, I suddenly remembered everything that’s happened with x. He didn’t treat me like a love rival should. On the contrary, you could say that he cared for me in every aspect of my life. He’s the one who cleans the dorm. He’s the one who always washes my dirty laundry. Every time I wanted to eat something but was too lazy to wait in line, he would go and buy it for me.

Moreover, once there was a time when we were going down the stairs, and I accidentally missed a step. He was the one who twisted his body to support me. And after he fell down, he was pale and in so much pain that he broke out into a cold sweat. Yet his first reaction was to ask if I had gotten hurt.

How could I have fallen, x had kept me safe.

On the other hand, x had a fractured bone.

After 9, before dawn : It’s supposed to be a touching story, but why do I feel like laughing….

Mother Aidu 12138 : OP….Are you sure that mr. love rival likes the girl?

Nan Su Li : Commenter above is right. No matter how I look at it, mr. love rival is…Nevermind, I won’t say it. Commenters below should get it.

Eccentric Ultimate Gong : Ohoho~OP, I just want to use a song to express mr. love rival’s feelings for you.

Dance of Angels : If this doesn’t count as love~ 15

It’s been said that chatterboxes ought to die : What do I have to be sorrowful about~

Lazy people naturally have their ways : This is love~

Eccentric Ultimate Gong : Commenter above, you messed it up→_→ 16

Dance of Angels : Commenters above, formation →_→

It’s been said that chatterboxes ought to die : Drag the three commenters above out and shoot them for five minutes. →_→

Mother Aidu 12138 : 2333333 blooming trance 17

The author has something to say:

Ohoho~Making a cameo with my buddies

Footnotes

北顾 Possibly “Look towards the north”. I’m not sure, so we’ll just leave as it is. This is a reference to the first part of a line in a poem by Qian Liu (錢鏐), founder of the Wuyue kingdom, to his wife. The original line is “陌上花开 可缓缓归矣”, meaning that “Flowers by the path are now in full bloom, you can take your time on your way back”. It’s a poem said to convey Qian Liu’s feelings of longing for his wife, reminding her to return (because he is waiting for her) but also telling her to enjoy the view on the way back. A possible play on how netizens’ call Baidu “Baidu Niang” which means “Mother Baidu”. basically, “ooh, burn” This is a reference to a conversation between Zhuangzi and his friend Hua Shi about the joy of a fish (in the ‘Autumn Waters’ chapter of Zhuangzi ). Zhuangzi remarks that the minnow is at ease, which is the joy of being a fish. Hua Shi questions how Zhuangzi could make that statement when he was not a fish (子非鱼 zi fei yu). Zhuangzi counters that Hua Shi was not him (子非吾 zi fei wu), so how could he know that Zhuangzi didn’t know the joy of a fish? Anyways, the meaning of this quote was to “not always look at others through your own eyes” (to “put yourselves in others’ shoes”, so to speak). in this context, it means that the person is an onlooker. They’re here to spectate. Well, the original had “prince夜雅”. “夜雅” separated are “night” (ye) and “elegant”(ya). 琴棋书画 qínqíshūhuà= Abbreviation of the four arts that each Chinese scholar practice and studies: qin琴 (Guqin, a string instrument),qi 棋(the strategy game of Go(Weiqi 围棋)/Chess),shu书 (Chinese calligraphy), and hua画(Chinese painting) Hunan dialect. I changed the translation a bit (it’s something along the lines of “my sorrow is thisss much” or “my sorrow is so big”. It’s similar to “I love you thissssss much” but of course, it doesn’t mean the same. 妖妖不是小妖精 (yao yao bu shi xiao yao jing). 小妖精 (xiao yao jing) is sometimes translated as “little goblin”, but it’s used to refer to individuals (usually girls) who are mischievous, playful, and charming. 南疏离 Alienated South? The university is referred to as “a大” meaning “A University”. It would be confusing if we kept it lowercase here (“a university”) so we capitalized it. 没心没肺 méixīnméifèi : Literal translation is “no heart, no lungs”. If it is used in a serious tone, then it’s a serious criticism. If it’s used in a more relaxed, half kidding tone,then it’s not a serious accusation. It’s often used to describe a person as insensible. 嬉皮笑脸xīpíxiàoliǎn -all smiles / smiling mischievously or ingratiatingly The first line of the chorus in Jacky Cheung (张学友)’s song “If This Doesn’t Count as Love”/ ”如果这都不算爱” (Ru Guo Zhe Dou Bu Suan Ai). Here’s a live version . Both “If this doesn’t count as love~” and “What do I have to be sorrowful about~” are lines from the aforementioned song, but the last one was not. 233333= Chinese online slang for LOL (laugh out loud), etc laughing connotation. “Blooming trance” (红红火火恍恍惚惚) is another way for the netizens to laugh. Putting together the characters, it would mean that “the user is in a trance and at a loss after encountering a major event” ( Baidu ). Online, it means “hahahahahaha”. The beginning of the pinyin for each character starts with an ‘h’ so the simplified version is just “hhhhhhhhh”.