Chapter 13: Embawassed! We’re moving way too fast

An Xingzhou walked home with large and small bags in his hands, a little bunny even tucked in his front pocket.

Peng Ci sat in An Xingzhou’s pocket extremely carefree and comfortable, poking out a little head to move wildly outside. After it sat for a while, it felt a little hot and stood up. Taking the chance while there was nobody around, it told An Xingzhou quietly, “Wife, I want to drink Coca-Cola. It’s hwat.”

The shut-in An Xingzhou, whose hands were full of things while facing the burning sun with his forehead covered in sweat. “…”

Peng Ci didn’t know how to read people’s expressions at all. Seeing An Xingzhou ignore it, it changed the subject again. “Wife, how long will it be before we get home? Let’s turn on the AC after getting home!”

It just said it wanted to buy a warm little blanket, and now it wanted to turn on the AC once they got home. It really was a troublesome demon that was hard to serve!

An Xingzhou wondered if there was a claypot at home and that he might as well stew the rabbit once they got back while panting roughly, saying, “Soon! Stop rushing me!”

He glanced at the leisurely and carefree Peng Ci. His fingers were hurting from the handles of the plastic bag digging into his skin. After thinking, he remembered all of the money he’d spent with his card, that all of these things which were so heavy they would be the death of him were practically all not his, and he felt even angrier.

An Xingzhou already almost couldn’t walk anymore. The August sun viciously shone on him. He felt like the sweat from his back was making his clothes stick to his skin, which felt so unpleasant that he hurriedly found a corner with shade and then placed the stuff down to rest.

Peng Ci was completely unaware of An Xingzhou’s hard work and effort. Seeing An Xingzhou stop, it even stuck its head out to ask, “Wife? Why aren’t we continuing to walk?”

Because I can’t f**king walk anymore!

An Xingzhou was still filled with anger and felt that the way home seemed like the Long March 1 . He continued to be a helper who could do hard labor, so he lowered his head to ask, “Peng Ci, can you turn into a human? Demons can turn into humans, right?”

“Huh?” Peng Ci shook its tail, standing up to lick An Xingzhou’s chin very enthusiastically. “Wife! You want me to turn human this quickly?! So embawassed! We’re moving way too fast!”

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An Xingzhou: “?”

What dirty things was this rabbit thinking about? Just how were they moving too fast?

An Xingzhou inhaled and said coldly, “I can’t carry your things anymore. I’ll give you two choices. Become human and help me carry it or use your rabbit teeth to hold a bag in your mouth and help me carry it back. Online, I’ve seen dogs that can help their masters buy groceries and even take deliveries. They’re extremely useful.”

Peng Ci’s tail, which was just shaking like a top, immediately froze. Then it fell little by little, its ears, which were standing upright, also stopping its smacking and drooping onto its back.

“So Wife just wanted a laborer… I thought Wife wanted to stwick with me…” Peng Ci lamented a few times and climbed out of the pocket. It slid down An Xingzhou’s clothes with a “slip”, falling straight into the plastic bag with a wide open opening that An Xingzhou had placed next to his feet.

Peng Ci jumped a few times inside, making the plastic bag rustle with its stomping. It only climbed out of the bag after several seconds, using its teeth to bite onto the bag handle that had turned thin and string like from An Xingzhou’s carrying and saying muffedly, “I still can’t become human yet, but I can help Wife carry bags! I’m more capable than doggos! Bark!”

An Xingzhou: “…?”

An Xingzhou was stunned. Following hearing the little bunny speak the human language, he looked on helplessly as the little bunny’s mouth moved and made several dog barks.

He was shocked by those child-like dog barks and watched as Peng Ci bit onto the bag desperately, asking in extreme confusion, “As a rabbit, why do you have to imitate a dog barking?”

“Don’t you humans just like doggos?!” Peng Ci spit out the bag handle from its mouth and glanced at An Xingzhou in dissatisfaction, its nose puffing. “Just now Wife was still using dogs to give examples! You were saying that doggos are very capable! But clearly us bunny buns are better! We bunny buns don’t drip drool and aren’t endlessly noisy!”

“Huh?” An Xingzhou said subconsciously, “But you aren’t very quiet either… Who’s actually noisier than the other…”

“I’m not! I’m very obedient!” Peng Ci was a little aggrieved, its ears drooping without much energy. The tips of its pinkish ears trembled as it said, “Wife is still defending doggos… sob bark bark! If Wife likes them, I can copy their barking… Because I’m a good bunny bun who only dotes on Wife! I’m the ‘good man’ humans speak of! Good husband!”

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After Peng Ci finished speaking, it suddenly squinted its eyes without waiting for An Xingzhou to express his opinion and “Meow! Meow meow! Meow sob——” at An Xingzhou.

An Xingzhou: “?”

After Peng Ci finished meowing, it made a forceful “hmph” and turned its head in discontent. Its long ears were tossed to the other side. “And kitties! I can also copy kitty meows! You humans also like kitties! Even if kitties are mischievous, little troublemakers who can’t do anything and break cups and bowls and plates, you guys still like them! Why don’t you guys like us obedient and well-behaved bunny buns!”

After An Xingzhou finished listening to Peng Ci speak, he was lost in deep contemplation.

He actually couldn’t distinguish whether Peng Ci was insulting cats or itself. After all, the biggest reason for them buying so much stuff during this trip was because Peng Ci broke stuff at home…

An Xingzhou opened his mouth, thinking that Peng Ci’s brain capacity probably wasn’t large enough, so it forgot the stuff it did. He wondered if he should remind it, but he swallowed his words in the end.

Whatever, whatever. He shouldn’t make things more complicated. It was quite frightening.

Peng Ci didn’t know about An Xingzhou’s kindness and was still muttering through all the common human pets. The words between the lines were ‘Us bunny buns are the coolest! But you all discriminate against us bunny buns!’

In reality, An Xingzhou hadn’t raised any sort of small animal, but he equally liked all small animals the same way. Getting the title of “animal discriminator” assigned to him by Peng Ci, he was seriously wronged.

Besides, this rabbit… was really a master of insults! He hadn’t said a single thing, but Peng Ci had already insulted every type of pet in a few sentences! But the cats and dogs etc. hadn’t done a single thing! Do you little animals also have this type of stigma chain?!

Peng Ci didn’t care about the things going on in An Xingzhou’s mind at all. After finishing its insults, it stopped talking. To prove its capability and its doting love for its Wife, it turned its head to open its little mouth, getting ready to drag the bag with the handle in its mouth.

It didn’t move on the first tug.

It still didn’t move on the second tug, even with more strength applied.

It didn’t move either on the third tug, even with a forceful grunt.

Peng Ci: “!!!”

An Xingzhou refocused and watched as Peng Ci, a little bunny bun who wasn’t much bigger than palm size, actually planned on helping him drag a bag that even he thought was heavy. He thought it was a little funny and was just about to bend over to pick Peng Ci up.

Peng Ci didn’t know An Xingzhou was going to pick it up and was filled with disbelief. It couldn’t believe that it actually couldn’t move this bag.

Peng Ci thought ‘Am I really unable to help Wife with even the smallest thing?! I won’t be a good husband if it’s like that!’

It used all of its strength and bit on the handle firmly. As soon as it bit down, its small, sharp rabbit teeth grinded against it——

The white clouds that were blocking the sun in the sky coincidentally dispersed at this moment, and brilliant sunshine spilled down.

In this moment of radiance, An Xingzhou watched helplessly as the plastic bag handle broke into two in Peng Ci’s mouth.

An Xingzhou: “…”

Peng Ci: “?”

‘Huh? Why did the thing in my mouth disappear?’

An Xingzhou clenched his fist.

He looked at the remnants of the handle and asked coldly, “You want me to carry this bag back? Peng. Ci?”

Author’s Note:

Wife wants to stwick to me in my human form so quickly?!

Footnotes

Mini history lesson: the Long March was a 5,600 mile long journey undertaken by the Communist Liberation Army, led by Mao Zedong, to avoid the Chinese Nationalist Party’s Army’s pursuit.