Chapter 86

86

Gripping the rattle lightly and shaking it, a refreshing sound struck my ears.

With a pacifier in my mouth and a rattle in my hand, laughter naturally escaped me.

‘I must look like a complete child.’

I always hated being powerless the most, but now that I’ve become such an existence, my thoughts have become very complex.

"Right, you don’t want snacks, do you? I’ve already told them to prepare them."

"Mmm."

"Come and sit here."

Deschar Clown hadn’t changed much from two years ago.

Was it guilt, or was it regret? Why was he treating me so well?

"Grandpa."

"Sure."

"Do you like me?"

"…Sure, of course."

At Deschar Clown’s words, I looked up at him steadily.

"Why?"

"You’re not my blood, but you and Valian are ultimately my blood and clowns. I should have realized that earlier."

Blood, what’s so great about blood?

People who don’t even have blood ties have to live a lonely life forever.

For someone like me, who didn’t even have a family name or a title, it feels like a dream.

"Thank you, Grandpa."

Despite my hot-tempered nature, his consideration in waiting for me to approach was warm.

The closer I got to them, the more I felt the time for me to leave was approaching.

"Mmm, I want to eat."

"Sure, eat as much as you want."

On the table where the tablecloth had been removed, strawberry jelly, pudding, and various snacks and drinks were piled up.

Taking a bite, the sweetness that was almost numbing to the tongue melted away.

‘Delicious.’

I couldn’t understand why it tasted so good when I ate it alone, it was always so tasteless. There were still things I didn’t understand.

"Shirina, dear."

"Un."

"I care about you."

His awkward voice, clumsily spoken, was affectionate.

I couldn’t answer his words, as usual.

"So, come back whenever you want."

"…Un."

When Kaishan came, I finished the snacks and, with the maids, gathered the gifts and returned to my room, but I didn’t feel good at all.

‘Moreover…’

I didn’t even get to tell them that I wanted to participate in the hunting competition.

I didn’t get what I wanted, and the heavy burden I didn’t want only increased.

My steps became heavier as a result. I walked very, very slowly back to my room.

* * *

‘This is ridiculous.’

Sharent Clown, who had informed me that a governess would come, put me in a carriage and sent me to the royal palace.

Being seated at a lavish table by a servant in the royal palace has been what happened from this morning’s breakfast until now.

In front of me were luxurious snacks and tea, which I had never properly tasted.

‘Not even milk…’

What is tea? What does it taste like?

I took a sip and quickly put the teacup down. It felt like scented water, and I quickly pushed a cookie into my mouth.

‘Tasteless.’

I’ve never tasted anything like tea before.

Because I mostly ate water and dry food, I didn’t know much.

I was one of the highest-ranking people in Silopia, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I had never enjoyed proper privileges.

The only things I had experienced were being bathed and eating rare fruits when they were available.

I preferred fruits, which I could eat with my hands instead of using forks and knives.

‘Why do people eat such things?’

Whenever I ate snacks, I always had milk, chocolate milk, or fruit juice, so I never had the chance to taste this.

‘But who is this person to come all the way to the royal palace?’

I don’t understand why the employer has to move for a governess.

Of course, technically, I am the nephew who benefits from the employer’s favor, but still.

Even so, a governess should come to visit!

I thought I would make them very angry when they came, and I tightly closed my mouth.

Just as I was determined, the door opened cautiously, and a woman with an extraordinary appearance entered quietly.

I stared at her blankly with a chocolate cookie in my hand.

She walked slowly with a few maids and smiled at me.

Her pale face and lack of makeup caught my eye.

She wasn’t exactly a beauty that would captivate anyone, but she was certainly not unattractive.

Nonetheless, her demeanor and every movement were quite different from ordinary people.

She also looked like she was in pain, with a clear sign of illness.

"Hello, you must be Shirina Clown."

"Un…"

The maid beside her frowned slightly.

I was confused by her reaction.

The clear hostility on the maid’s face made me wrinkle my nose in displeasure.

"Please use honorifics and show respect to Miss Clown."

Wow, another one who’s all blocked up.

I’m only five, and it’s too much to expect, right? Or is the etiquette of the royal family different?

‘For someone who’s supposed to be a prince or princess, they’re quite…’

Far from polite.

"This is Her Majesty the Empress!"

What? The Empress? Her Majesty the Empress?

In the empire, there is only one Empress, the sole companion of the Emperor.

And the Emperor loves her so much that he even instructed her to be called ‘Her Majesty’ on equal terms with him.

While thinking about this, the cookie in my hand slipped and rolled on the floor.

"Rinne, what are you saying to a child?"

"…I apologize."

An Empress who uses honorifics to a five-year-old child, her atmosphere was different from the arrogant Emperor. Yet, she treated her servants with strict informality.

"I’m very pleased to meet you like this. I should have visited the Clown family as a governess, but my health isn’t good, so I’ve troubled Miss Shirina Clown."

"Um… sure."

Just seeing the Empress is surprising enough.

As far as I know, the Empress of the Heiren Empire is not well-known.

She rarely showed her face or appeared in public, to the point where the citizens doubted her existence.

However, I also knew that the Emperor adored her greatly.

There were rumors that she was born with magical talent, and the Emperor abolished human trafficking and slavery because he cherished her.

The royal family was the first to hire a mage.

The Heiren Empire was also the first to establish diplomatic relations with Silopia, sending the Clown family as representatives.

‘It’s true, then.’

I heard that the rumor of the Empress’s death periodically circulates within the empire due to her seclusion.

Despite her invisibility, the citizens loved the Empress.

This was because the Emperor’s wise decisions often included the Empress’s opinions.

I also heard that while some emperors prevent the Empress from participating in state affairs, the current Emperor does whatever the Empress wants.

I heard that the Empress once hated the Emperor so much, but that was just a rumor.

‘…My stomach is a mess.’

I can clearly see why she is weak.

There must have been some problem, but her magic power was tangled. And it was quite troublesome.

If not managed properly for a long time, it might be damaged.

‘Even a decent mage wouldn’t be able to help.’

Even if I asked Melaine for help, it would be insufficient given her skills, and bringing my father would be more helpful.

I want to help, but I have almost no ability now, so it’s impossible to untangle someone else’s magic.

"I’ve heard you’re very clever, and I’m already looking forward to it."

The Empress laughed softly, like a gentle breeze.

I awkwardly smiled and averted my eyes in confusion.

No, Sharent Clown, you bastard. Who did you assign as a governess?

‘Did the Emperor even approve of this?’

What am I supposed to learn from the Empress?

"May I sit opposite you?"

"U…um, yes, please!"

Please sit. If I stand up, there’s no reason you can’t sit.

Even though Ranian is cool, I don’t dislike this lady either. First impression, 10 out of 10.

How could such a calm person have twins who are so mischievous?

It’s amazing. After blinking a few times, she sat opposite me and smiled again.

"I should have met you two years ago, but the Emperor was quite mischievous and didn’t give permission right away. It seems he wanted to get something from Sharent Clown, and he finally got it this time."

The Emperor, that bastard.

He’s a social evil. Despite being an emperor, his heart is so narrow.

Sharent Clown, who hated dealing with the Emperor, why did he play into his hands?

"Thanks to that, I’m meeting you after two years."

Especially after two long years. To keep a promise to give a birthday gift from two years ago.

‘As long as it’s not a psychopath, anyone would do.’

It wasn’t necessary to assign such an incredible person.

Honestly, a criminal or a psychopath would be problematic for my life.

I felt really bad.

While I was ignoring her, I kept thinking about how Sharent Clown must have suffered at the hands of the Emperor.

I glared at the cold tea with my mouth tightly shut.

"The Emperor is very mischievous. Please don’t be angry."

"…I’m not angry."

I just suddenly felt down.

Maybe I have bipolar disorder.

I’m originally prone to mood swings.

I didn’t add any explanation because it would make me look pitiful, so I just kept my mouth shut.