Chapter 19

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Sorry for the wait! I took small breaks since I wanted to make sure to keep the quality up. I don’t normally watch TV shows but I’m tempted to so I can practice English orz

Chapter 19, Possessed

“What were we to each other in the past?”

“We’ve known each other since we were kids. You were five years older, a dependable big brother to me. I’ve always wanted to play with you.”

“But why are you always crying in my memories?”

“Haha, that’s because you wouldn’t play with me.”

“Was I bad to you?”

“No. You were very kind to me. I got lost in the mountains when I was six and a raging storm came. I thought I was going to die. You were the one who saved me, Ah Zi.”

“I might have a tiny impression of that…So. You said you liked me. Since when?”

“Since I was young. But I’m hurt. You actually forgot about me.”

“How could anyone remember what happened when they were kids…”

“It’s all right. You’ll remember one day. I’m sure of it.”

“Really…”

…

Their disconnected conversation felt just like a dream.

To Ye Zi, it was a very long dream.

At times it was wonderful and slow, other times shattered and fast, like horrible images gliding past his eyes in an instant. As the cold and dense walls melted away, the darkness was overtaken by the light.

Big and small, two figures ran through the mottled shadows of the trees. There was the sound of flowing water, chirping cicadas, fluttering butterflies, and splendid flowers…The sun was so warm, and it felt like a single dewdrop could contain the world.

As soon as he opened his eyes, Ye Zi saw a face.

Hare was sleeping on his side right in front of him. He had long eyelashes, some of which were laid lightly atop the white pillow. Pale sunlight cascaded through the slits of the shutters, lighting up his hair and cheek. A faint gold was reflected on his soft, delicate hair, and a light bruise could be seen under his eyes on his pale skin. Lower down, his lips parted slightly.

As soon as he saw Hare’s lips, Ye Zi felt his entire body heat up. The touch of their kiss seemed to still remain on his lips and he couldn’t help but purse them.

As if sensing Ye Zi’s motions, Hare moved faintly.

Shocked, Ye Zi sat up in an instant, his strong movements instantly waking Hare. Hare opened his eyes and looked hazily at Ye Zi. His eyes were so innocent, languid like a little kitten who had just woken up from its nap.

Ye Zi’s mouth moved, but he felt so embarrassed that he had no idea what to say.

But Hare chuckled. He reached out to stroke Ye Zi’s ear, and with a slight force from his palm, took advantage of the moment when Ye Zi hung his head to leave a kiss on his forehead.

“Good morning, Ah Zi.”

“…Morning.”

As soon as he said that, Ye Zi immediately broke free.

Unexpectedly, he laid down in bed with Hare last night without even taking off his clothes. Even though nothing happened last night, he still felt uneasy all over. Even during breakfast with friends, on the way home aboard the train, and even if Hare wasn’t sitting in the same carriage as him, he still felt uneasy—

He remembered how Hare took hold of his head last night, tilting over, kissing him.

He remembered how he himself had pressed Hare against the pillow, leaning down to seal his lips.

He remembered the two of them panting together, the sound of Hare’s husky laughter between their kiss, and also the feeling of Hare’s palm as it caressed his back. It was a sensation that gave him shivers…

He never felt that way before.

“Stop thinking nonsense!” He told himself.

He finally got his focus back on his friends’ conversation, but it didn’t take long for him to get distracted again. He couldn’t help but look up to where Hare was. He finally stopped his mind from wandering while playing cards, but a single sentence from the class monitor sent Ye Zi’s heart into turmoil.

The class monitor pointed at the back of Ye Zi’s neck in surprise. “Yezi! Did someone give you a hickey?”

“A hickey?”

The group of boys immediately began giggling knowingly, even the girls at the side were excited. They all came over and said, “What? Yezi got a hickey? I wanna see!”

Ye Zi immediately covered the back of his neck. He finally remembered.

Last night, Hare was holding him tightly from behind when they slept.

He kissed him from the edges of his ear down his hairline until he stopped at his nape. His lips were hot and moist, licking that section of his skin over and over again, he could feel his entire body trembling down to his core…

“I just got bit by a mosquito!” Ye Zi explained.

“Really…It’s obviously a hickey though? Who did it? Better come clean with us. Was it Taozi?”

“Ooh, was it Jason? Didn’t he confess yesterday?”

“That was just a joke, right…? Stop leaving us hanging, Yezi!”

Right at that moment, Ye Zi’s phone rang.

Without even looking at it, Ye Zi picked up and said hello.

A warm and familiar voice came from the receiver. “Ah Zi, what do you want for lunch? I’ll buy it for you.”

After freezing up for a moment, Ye Zi answered somewhat dryly, “No need.”

Hare was a little concerned. “Why not? No appetite? Are you in a bad mood?”

“I’m not.”

The group around him were still howling, their voices were loud enough that even Hare could hear. It felt so awkward that Ye Zi wanted to hang up, but Hare’s soft voice came, “Ah, are they talking about the mark on your nape?”

“…”

Hare’s voice gradually deepened and it sounded extremely sexy, as if his lips were right by Ye Zi’s ear, tickling his cheek with his hot breath. “Why don’t you just tell them I did it?”

“Don’t bullshit me.”

“Why are you so cold all of a sudden? Even though…” Hare’s voice suddenly turned into a breathy whisper, enunciating each and every syllable clear as day, “you were so proactive last night.”

Ye Zi moved his phone away abruptly and tossed it to the side.

The others around him asked what happened but he just shook his head, though his face was completely red, especially his ears. They looked so red they could pop.

Right in that instant, he suddenly had a vision.

It seemed like everything around him disappeared. Hare was holding him from behind, kissing his nape just like last night, starting with a gentle kiss, before sucking hard…

***

Ever since their first kiss, Ye Zi felt like he was possessed.

He couldn’t help but think back to that kiss every time his mind wandered, and he would immediately think of Hare when it happened. Even in his dreams, Hare would appear, and it felt like he could see at least a shadow of Hare in every single one of them.

There were also dreams that made his entire face red when he woke up from them.

He was so proactive in his dreams, so much so that it was embarrassing. They touched each other in outlandish ways, ways that he had never even dreamt of; ways that made him feel so unbelievably dirty.

In fact, many mornings he woke up to find himself dirtying his sheets, and remembering the fact that the one in his dreams was the man who was five years younger made him feel like he was going insane. Of course, one should know that he used to discriminate against homosexuals. He thought they were strange. Women were pure and soft while men were rough and tough. It was a man’s natural principles in life to love a girl. Falling in love with another man was as strange to see as a male dog going into heat for another male dog.

But God knows the reason that he’s becoming stranger and stranger is all Hare’s fault!

He ignored the daily texts that Hare sent him and rejected his calls. He even tried to block Hare’s number and stayed away from him on purpose.

In fact, since Ye Zi ignored Hare’s texts and calls for an entire week, he was left high and dry when he personally came to wait for Hare downstairs one afternoon. He never appeared again for the rest of the month and a half of their summer vacation. But of course, Ye Zi’s mind had also undergone big changes because of this—

First, he was guilty. Then, celebratory. Following that, he was relieved, disappointed, regretful, dejected, depressed, anxious, guilty…An endless cycle.

After school started again, Ye Zi became a senior.

He worked on the orientation, organized events, went to his lectures, wrote his resumes, and looked for jobs.

His life became full and he began to ease up a little. It made sense after some thought. Hare was in his senior high school year, he must be busy. If so, he certainly wouldn’t have time to focus on him. Moreover, the two have already kissed. Hare must be thinking that his little game was over so he did not care bout him anymore…Ah, or maybe he found a girlfriend? How could he forget? There were rumors some time ago that Hare began dating Xiao Qin again…

Once again, Ye Zi felt glad that he did not fall in love with him. It was fortunate he did not accept his advances…On the other hand, Ye Zi also hated this part of himself, acting just like a girl. What with being all sentimental, suspicious and all…It was debasing. Even though he was clearly the one trying to avoid the other, he started acting this way as soon as Hare stopped contacting him…

A week or so into the school year, Ye Zi was participating in the school spring cleaning.

Ye Zi who was distracted while mopping the floor suddenly saw a familiar figure standing in the doorway of the lecture building.

It was Hare.

He saw him dressed in a trim, dark, western-style school uniform with a black bag slung over his shoulders, turning heads left and right.

Ye Zi could very clearly feel his heart drop before it began beating violently. It was beating so hard that it almost felt like it was going to jump out of his chest. So fast…So violent.

Even a fool would know what this meant.

That’s right, he fell for Hare.

But he didn’t go to him.

He handed the mop to the junior next to him, turned around, and left.

He could feel Hare following him.

So, the faster he walked, the more anxious he became.

“Ah Zi!”

Hare called out to him from behind.

But Ye Zi did not look back. He kept walking up the stairs and continued down the hallway at a quick pace.

Hare grabbed him by the wrist. “Ah Zi, why are you ignoring me?”

Ye Zi shoved him off and said to him in a soft voice, “What’s wrong, little kid? Here to see me again cause you’re bored? Sadly, I don’t have that kinda free time.”

Hare immediately explained, “It’s not that I didn’t want to see you…Ah Zi, school just started, everything’s getting busy, and you seemed to be angry with me. I just wanted to…”

“We kissed, so the game’s over, right?” Ye Zi turned his head abruptly and asked.

Hare was puzzled. “What?”

“Are these the feelings you were talking about? So you’re gonna stop coming just cause I’m ignoring you? Even though you’re the one who’s harassing me. Even though you’re the one who turned me all strange!”

“…Ah Zi?”

“You bastard!”

Ye Zi growled. Then, he dragged Hare into an empty classroom and shut the door heavily behind them.

Before Hare could react, Ye Zi pressed him to the door and pulled him down roughly by the collar, cocking his head to the side and threw his face over.

|TOC|

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