chapter 25

The few people that were in the video call on the phone screen were laughing to the point of rocking back and forth, their laughter like that of ducks, Wei ChaoRen had even started sounding like a goose. Huo Ran held his stomach-full of bafflement in because he couldn’t quite do anything, as there were still the uncles as well as officers beside them.

But what had to be said still had to be said; he pushes Kou Chen away and gives his face two vicious rubs: “Are you fucking hungry now!? Did you enjoy yourself biting!?”

“It was pretty enjoyable,” Kou Chen says.

“Get off!” Huo Ran points at the video call, “Start packing up, we’re leaving in a bit.”

“Huo Ran!” Jiang Lei shouts, “Give us a call when you get home, come out for a gathering tomorrow!”

“What gathering, when we get back to school we’ll gather every day, twenty-four hours a day we’re hanging out with this bunch twenty-eight hours, and you still want to gather,” Huo Ran continues rubbing on his face, even taking a wet tissue out to wipe his face.

“Let’s gather, in any case I don’t want to stay at home,” Hu Yi says, “Also Xu ZhiFan just finished booking a private room.”

“…What a good friend, really,” Huo Ran hangs up, impressed, as he continues wiping his face.

“Ai ai ai,” Kou Chen looks at him, “My pride’s been wounded now.”

Huo Ran crumples the wet tissue into a lump and places it into his pocket.

“Toss it though,” Kou Chen says. Throughout the journey they’d been keeping their trash and using bags to hang them onto their backpacks, only tossing them into bins after they’d reached the Old XiKou campsite. When they were escaping, each person had a bag of rubbish hung onto their bags, and now he was a little traumatised regarding the collection of rubbish.

“Where do I toss it?” Huo Ran asks, “There aren’t any bins here.”

“On the side of course, it’s degradable isn’t it,” Kou Chen says, “You want to bring this back?”

“Degradable my ass, don’t look for psychological comfort for your convenient disposal of trash,” Huo Ran says, “If you went on the sort of route that is frequented by fake trekkers and newbie trekkers once, you wouldn’t think so anymore.”

“Alright then, I’ll listen to you,” Kou Chen nods his head, staring at him for a while, “The image I have of you in my heart suddenly became a lot greater.”

Huo Ran gives him a sweeping glance.

“Really!” Kou Chen says, “No kidding.”

“So easily great,” Huo Ran sighs, “It isn’t easy for your Country of Vile People huh.”

“Get lost okay,” Kou Chen laughs.

It was unknown whether it was because there’d more or less been some nervousness in the mental aspect, but at this moment it was as though they’d just returned to the human realm, starting to feel some exhaustion a while after they’d been messing around on video call.

Huo Ran got in a car, and gave his mom a call to report his safety.

His mom was still relatively calm, saying that she’d prepared delicious food and was waiting for him to get back to eat.

After the call, Huo Ran got sleepy, and with his eyelids fighting, he leaned with his head tilted on the back seat and closed his eyes to rest.

Kou Chen was probably about the same, but the way he expressed it was different; he was overexcited after having felt nervousness, unable to settle down like a dog. He gave his mom a call and chatted for ten minutes, then spoke to the officers, and after he’d finished speaking, he chatted with the uncles. He was finally unable to hold up in the end, pulling the car door open and collapsing next to him.

“I’m… hun… gry….” Kou Chen drags his voice out to say, lifeless.

“Don’t you have chocolate?” Huo Ran says.

“Finished them already though,” Kou Chen says, “It’s not like I’m Doraemon.”

“I have hardtack,” Huo Ran says, “If you want to eat them then go ahead and dig in my bag.”

“Don’t want to eat, don’t want to move either,” Kou Chen sighs, leaning onto him, and after a while he feels around on his own mouth, “Ai Huo Ran.”

“Mn,” Huo Ran responds.

“Your cheek is really tender huh,” Kou Chen says.

“…Do I have to say ‘thanks’?” Huo Ran asks, he could actually tell from Kou Chen’s tone that it was full of “had yet to have enough”, “Do you want to have another bite?”

“No need, just a taste is enough, I’m only stating an objective fact,” Kou Chen starts laughing, “More tender than even a young lady’s cheek.”

“You’re not done are you?” Huo Ran looks at him, and suddenly comes to a realisation after two seconds, “Fuck, you’ve kissed young ladies?”

“I haven’t, what are you thinking, where have I the time to kiss young ladies,” Kou Chen says, “I just think so, I didn’t think it was this tender when I touched your face.”

“I’m a natural beauty,” Huo Ran shuts his eyes, “Don’t talk anymore, I want to sleep, don’t bother me.”

He’d just finished speaking when Kou Chen’s phone rings.

“I’m not the one bothering you okay,” Kou Chen takes his phone over and takes a look, “It’s my dad bothering you.”

“They’re probably about to come out now aren’t they?” Huo Ran opens his eyes.

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“I’ll ask,” Kou Chen picks up, “Dad?”

“It’s been an hour since we passed Bai Pi Po, we’re about to come out,” Dad says.

“Bai Mao Po! What the heck is Bai Pi Po*,” Kou Chen says.

[tl note: 白皮坡 (bái pí pō) means ‘white skin hill’, the original 白毛坡 (bái máo pō) means ‘white fur hill’]

“You’ve become impressive after a day and a half of trekking?” Dad says, “If you guys are hungry, go to the village to eat a little something first, there are farmhouses in there.”

“I’m not going,” Kou Chen says, “I don’t want to move anymore, how long do you guys need to come out?”

“We say that we’re about to, but it’ll definitely have to be after the sky is completely dark that we’ll get there,” Dad says, “We can’t see the road quite so clearly already now, and we can’t have Uncle Huo drive too quickly.”

“We’ll wait for you guys to come out before we eat then, I want to go home to eat dumplings,” Kou Chen says.

“Why are you and your sister the same type, she wants to go home to eat dumplings too,” Dad says, “Then give your mom a call to have her wrap dumplings.”

“I’d already instructed,” Kou Chen couldn’t help but start laughing, “But what I asked for was fennel filling, all of them will have fennel filling, all of them, will be, fennel filling ones! Help me tell Kou Xiao that there won’t be any of the cabbage filling ones that she wants to eat tonight.”

“You’re dreaming aren’t you,” Dad sneers, “Your mother will listen to you?”

“…What if she really listens?” Kou Chen says.

“Then in a while you can go back and witness a miracle,” Dad hangs up the phone.

“Fuck, what is my position in the family though,” Kou Chen tosses his phone to the side, “Did you hear what my dad said?”

“I heard,” Huo Ran says, “Still a little higher than the dog’s position isn’t it?”

“It’s only higher than his,” Kou Chen shuts his eyes, pulling Huo Ran’s hand over and placing it onto his shoulder, “Come, give your Uncle Kou a massage.”

Huo Ran doesn’t move, watching him.

After a while, Kou Chen opens his eyes, sending him a smile: “The camping trip’s over, XiaoRanRan.”

“Off to the side!” Huo Ran pushes him to the car door with a shove.

“Ai do give a massage,” Kou Chen climbs over again, “It might’ve gotten a hit from a villager, it’s really sore, for real… help me give a few presses, I can’t reach the spot myself.”

Huo Ran looks at the sincere, ‘gritted teeth’ expression on his face, and thinks about how if it weren’t for that kick of Kou Chen’s, they really might not have had the chance to run away today…

He raises a hand to give Kou Chen’s shoulder a few squeezes.

“Ai… that’s right, with this strength!” Kou Chen yells, extremely pleased.

Huo Ran didn’t know why it was that he always didn’t have much of a temper when facing Kou Chen either; perhaps it was because he’d truly seen too few people that were as carefree* as he was, wanting to rage one second, yet the next he would be like a dog, laying onto the ground and exposing his belly, begging for rubs.1

[*tl note: not quite sure about this slang phrase 赖叽叽 (lài jī ji) so it probably isn’t accurate, the only answer on zhidao baidu says it means ‘listless/half-dead’ but they don’t quite make sense in this context. By inference I think the meaning would be closer to something like ‘slack/carefree’]

“Shut up,” he says, then gives Kou Chen’s shoulder two more squeezes.

It was as though these two squeezes flipped a sort of switch on Kou Chen’s body; Kou Chen’s body slants, his head slamming onto his legs and laying across the back seat, following which he starts to let out satisfied moans: “Ah… feels good…”

“This ain’t it,” Huo Ran stops, “If you fucking make this sound again I’m getting off the car.”

“No more, I am now in deep sleep,” Kou Chen shuts his eyes.

Huo Ran hesitates for two seconds, and because he doesn’t believe even a single stroke* of what this bastard Kou Chen had said, he tries to give Kou Chen’s shoulder another squeeze.

[*tl note: as in writing stroke]

As expected.

“Ah… mn…” Kou Chen didn’t wait for even a second, starting to yell immediately. He even stuck his leg out onto the car door, thrusting his hips, “Ah… Ran…”

“I fucking!” Huo Ran didn’t wait for him to shout his name in full, slapping a palm onto his stomach, and following that was a series of punches and kicks, “Your uncle a shitty dog having a fit! ‘Ah’ again! Ah! ‘Mn’ your mouth!”

Kou Chen was beside himself with laughter, dodging as he shouts: “It’s too heavy! Your blows are too fucking heavy Huo Ran! Are you paying your hands some mind!?”

“With you what kind of goddamn mind do I need!?” Huo Ran also starts laughing after a few punches, “Next time your dad makes sausages remember to ask me along to observe!”

“Aiyo my waist,” Kou Chen opens the car door and jumps out, “Help, murder!”

He’d just finished shouting when a Jimny bounces its way out from the mountain road and gives a press of the horn.

“Huo Ran,” Kou Chen turns back to shout, “They’ve come out.”

Huo Ran hops out of the car: “Pretty fast, actually.”

The sky was already completely dark; they didn’t delay any further either, after confirming the situation with the officers, the few cars swept them all up and got ready to hurry back.

Huo Ran and Xu ZhiFan got on the Jimny; in a while, after sending Xu ZhiFan back along the way, they would head home straight.

“Is there still space for me?” Kou Chen was leaning on the shotgun seat window.

“There is,” Xu ZhiFan behind the shotgun seat looks at him, “But are you not taking your dad’s car?”

“I want to take the same car as you guys,” Kou Chen says.

“Your dad just said that he has to hurry and bring you guys home in a bit, your mom’s all anxious,” Xu ZhiFan says, “Don’t fuss anymore.”

“Ai…” Kou Chen sighs, “Tomorrow okay! Tomorrow night, because tomorrow I’ll definitely sleep till the afternoon before I wake up, let’s go out for a meal at night, did you already book the private room?”

“Yes,” Xu ZhiFan nods, “I’ll send you guys the room number in the group in a bit.”

Kou Chen still had something to say, but Papa Kou on the other side gives a roar: “My son! Why don’t you walk your way back!”

“Coming!” Kou Chen roars his response, patting the car door, “Uncle Huo, thank you for today.”

“Go on over quickly,” Papa Huo waves his hand, “If you still want to come out to play in the future, we can let Huo Ran bring you along on a route of lower difficulty.”

“Do you hear that,” Kou Chen raises his eyebrow at Huo Ran who was leaning on the back seat, making a finger gun and aiming it at him, “Pa!”

“Get lost quickly,” Huo Ran sighs.

The group of cars start off on a return trip to the city, and Huo Ran falls asleep on the back seat within a few minutes.

He even dreamt, that the big sister wearing Arc’teryx was running in the woods, shouting things that he could not understand, and he was chasing behind her for half a day, but after he caught up he found that the one he had caught was Kou Chen.

“Ah… RanRan…” Kou Chen thrusted his hips at him as he started to dance.

“Why are you this fucking coquettish!” Huo Ran couldn’t help but scold.

Even when he gets woken up by the laughter of Xu ZhiFan who was beside him, he was still immersed in Kou Chen’s unbearably coquettish dance, unable to extricate himself.

“Who did you dream of?” Xu ZhiFan couldn’t stop laughing.

“I spoke?” Huo Ran was stunned, “No way, I never sleep-talk.”

“Your voice was pretty loud too,” Xu ZhiFan was still besides himself with laughter, “Was it not, Uncle.”

“Yes,” Dad laughs as he nods.

“…I dreamt that Kou Chen was dancing,” Huo Ran scratches his head.

“Fuck,” Xu ZhiFan loses it immediately, choking and coughing for half a day, and as he coughs he holds his phone, sending a message out.

Huo Ran’s phone chimes, and he holds it up to see that Xu ZhiFan had sent a message in the group chat.

– Kou Chen what have you done, Huo Ran said you were coquettish even in his sleep talk

And beneath it were maniacal hahahahahahas from the bunch.

But there was no response from Kou Chen in there, so he’d likely fallen asleep. Huo Ran tosses his phone to the side, pointing at Xu ZhiFan: “Traitor, wasting our many years of friendship.”

Dad presses the horn.

And following that, a horn sounds from behind them as well.

“We’re splitting up aren’t we?” Xu ZhiFan asks.

“Mn, we’re going forward,” Dad says, “They’re turning right aren’t they?”

“Yes,” Huo Ran responds, turning his head to look out of the back seat window.

Two cool cruisers take a turn.

He didn’t know which one Kou Chen was on, and he didn’t know why, but Huo Ran unexpectedly felt some reluctance to part; he’d only had this feeling when he parted with Xu ZhiFan and his few close friends after they’d gone out to play in the past.

Who would have thought that he could also feel reluctant to part with Kou Chen, who was this sort of baffling organism?

That night Mom had readied a table full of delicacies, but Huo Ran didn’t have much of an appetite; although he was pretty hungry, he barely had a few mouthfuls before he felt full.

Today was still completely different from all the other treks in the past: although Big Sister Gao’s issue hadn’t harmed them in any way, and they might have even helped this lady who had been running in the woods for an unknown period of time, their mood had still been affected.

In the past even if he saw it on the news, he’d never thought too deeply about it, and after cursing the scum out, it might have just passed.

It was face-to-face today however, a real, live person that might have been abducted and sold and could practically be confirmed to have at least suffered severe domestic violence, so the feeling was completely different.

That night, as he laid in bed with the voices of his parents discussing this issue around him, he did not feel much sleepiness, only falling asleep after repeatedly thinking about the “There are still a lot of officers like me who are willing to talk, and also dare to tell you to ‘believe in me'” line from the young officer.

As Kou Chen changes his shoes in the doorway, Mom walks out from the house: “Going out again?”

“Mn,” Kou Chen puts his jacket on, giving his mom a hug, “I’ll bring supper for you when I get back.”

“I don’t want it, the crap are you always bringing back,” Mom wrinkles her brows, “Bringing two cow testicles back for me the other time, and your dad didn’t punch you*!”

[*tl note: another reading could be “and your dad hasn’t punched you yet!”]

Kou Chen starts laughing, then blows a whistle.

ShuaiShuai bolts down from the second floor, pouncing onto him and nuzzling.

“Would you like Gege to bring cow testicles back for you to eat today?” Kou Chen gives ShuaiShuai a series of rubs as he cuddles him, even burying his face into the thick fur around his neck to give a few strong nuzzles, “Mama doesn’t like to eat so we’ll give them all to you, after you finish eating it’ll be easier for you to find a girlfriend.”

“Go along quickly, so annoying,” Mom gives him a push, “He’ll start howling again when he goes nuts in a bit, if he howls your sister awake she’ll probably smack you.”

“When Old Yang gets here in a bit he’d probably also have to howl her awake,” Kou Chen pats ShuaiShuai’s head, sending a voice message to Xu ZhiFan, “I’m leaving the house now, I’ll meet up with Xu Chuan and chaoren in ten minutes, it’ll take around twenty minutes to reach your place.”

He starts rubbing his face as well as makes spitting sounds as soon as he got out of the door, only rubbing all the dog fur off his face and spitting the fur in his mouth out after having rubbed the whole way to the district’s entrance.

“Did you tell Huo Ran beforehand though, we’re just charging over like this?” after the group meets up with Xu ZhiFan, Xu Chuan asks, “What if he’s still sleeping?”

“Jiang Lei gave him a call earlier and he didn’t pick up, so he’s definitely still sleeping,” Xu ZhiFan says, “No worries, we’ll just wake him up when we get there.”

“He’ll scold won’t he?” Xu Chuan says.

“You’re afraid?” Kou Chen asks.

“I know that you’re not afraid,” Xu Chuan says, “We’re still a little apprehensive, I have seen him rage.”

“Go go go,” Kou Chen waves his phone, “Car’s here.”

When they arrive at Huo Ran’s house, the person was still asleep as expected, the group of them chatted with his dad and mom in the living room, yet none of it woke Huo Ran up.

“Let me go take a look,” Kou Chen stands up and walks towards the bedroom, but stops after two steps, looking at Mama Huo, “Is that okay?”

“Go on, if you don’t wake him up, he can sleep into the night,” Mama Huo says, smiling.

Kou Chen nods, gently opening the door to Huo Ran’s bedroom.

A small lamp was lit in Huo Ran’s room, likely to ward off ghosts.

But although he was afraid of ghosts, the design of his room was, in fact, very manly with a number of outdoor equipment, what with ropes, locks and the like, and there was even a dismantled bicycle and repair tools that had yet to be kept away on the floor.

“RanRan?” Kou Chen calls softly, walking up to the bedside.

Half of Huo Ran’s face was buried in the sheets, unmoving.

Kou Chen bends at the waist, staring at his side profile for a while: “Lil Cutie?”

Huo Ran still did not move.

“If you don’t open your eyes I’ll kiss you?” Kou Chen speaks softly into his ear, “Wake up and come punch me…”

After waiting two seconds, Kou Chen uses his finger to poke Huo Ran’s cheek, and after seeing Huo Ran move, he gently sends Huo Ran’s face a slap, pa.

And following that, he hops off to the side swiftly with the heroically tragic mood that was “Kou Chen you’re so dead”.