chapter 26

This slap was slightly harder than Kou Chen had imagined, and the pa sound was also louder than he had imagined.

So it probably only took Huo Ran one second, before he left his slightly-snoring sleeping state and sat up.

With the hair on his head a complete mess and a face full of puzzlement, his eyes couldn’t gather their focus even after half a day.

It looked like he hadn’t realised that he’d woken up because he’d been slapped by someone.

“Awake now?” Kou Chen tries asking.

“Mn?” Huo Ran was momentarily at a loss, staring at him for half a day, even giving a yawn in between, before asking, a little shocked, “Kou Chen? What are you doing here?”

“We’re all here though,” Kou Chen points at the living room, “Everyone’s here, just missing you, because you haven’t woken up yet.”

“Jesus fuck, you’re all so hardcore for a meal,” Huo Ran stays dazed for another while, lowering his head and rubbing his eyes, then gives another yawn, “Did you all shape-shift from orange cats*?”

[*tl note: cats with orange fur are supposedly common domestic cats]

“Look at the time, real orange cat shape-shifters would’ve scratched you by now,” Kou Chen passes his phone in front of him.

“…I slept for that long?” Huo Ran grins, rubbing his face, then pulls his sheets off and shuffles towards the edge of the bed.

Kou Chen gives him a glance; he was only wearing a pair of pajamas bottoms, his upper body bare.

His physique was pretty good, as expected of a school basketball team captain, but… Kou Chen was a little shocked.

Above Huo Ran’s waist were two scars that extended from the back to his front.

“How did you get these?” he points at Huo Ran’s waist, then gets closer and lifts his arm, looking from front to back, “Fuck, did someone hack at you?”

“I fell,” Huo Ran lowers his head to look, “When I went out to play with my dad when I was little, I fell into a ditch, it was a little deep.”

“Fuck,” Kou Chen suppresses his voice, “You had such a bad fall? How old were you then?”

“In elementary, it was mainly that when I fell I scraped against the side of the ditch and there were broken tree roots in the soil, so they ripped the wounds open directly,” Huo Ran touches his scars, “You’d better not run off to ask my dad okay.”

“Why?” Kou Chen glances in the direction of the living room; through the gap of the open door he could see that Papa Huo was currently laughing and chatting along with Xu ZhiFan and the others.

“I fell in the middle of the night,” Huo Ran says quietly, “My dad only found me after half an hour, and I’d shouted to the point of falling asleep at the bottom of the ditch… my mom almost divorced him because of this.”

“If it were my mom they’d already be divorced,” Kou Chen says.

“Didn’t you say that your position in the family is only a little higher than ShuaiShuai’s?” Huo Ran looks at him.

“Are you fucking picking a fight?” Kou Chen makes a ‘tsk’ sound, thinking before he asks, “Then why’d your mom still agree to letting your dad continue to bring you out after that? Even letting you go alone?”

“I like it,” Huo Ran grins.

“…So open-minded,” Kou Chen says.

“Go outside,” Huo Ran stands up, “I’m getting dressed.”

“It’s not like you’re a female, you still need to avoid people when changing your clothes?” Kou Chen leans on the book shelf that looked like a book shelf yet only had models and all sorts of tools and not a single book on it next to him, “You’ve even seen my butt.”

Huo Ran had just opened the clothes cabinet and was about to take his clothes out when he hears this, and turns his head back.

“What’s wrong, you dare say you haven’t seen it?” Kou Chen says, “You’ve even seen both the front and back.”

Huo Ran doesn’t speak, only pulling his pants up, then turns back to continue his search for clothes.

Kou Chen was instantly beside himself with laughter: “You’re too cute, if you were a girl I’d definitely, gladly, dash my brains out on the ground for you*.”

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[*tl note: literal tl of the idiom bc huo ran’s response addresses it, it means something like ‘be ready to die the cruellest deaths’]

“No thanks, if you bleed I’d still have to clean up the smeared blood*,” Huo Ran sighs, putting his shirt on and removing his pajamas bottoms, then arbitrarily tugs a pair of sports pants on, “If I were a female, would you also slap me when you wake me up?”

[*tl note: not quite sure on this one, the phrasing was a little odd]

“…Fuck?” Kou Chen freezes.

“You think I didn’t know?” Huo Ran tilts his head to look at him.

“Fuck,” Kou Chen continues to be frozen, “How did you find out?”

“I was fucking slapped awake by someone, and you’re asking me how I found out?” Huo Ran glares at him and with a flick of the pajamas bottoms in his hands, he holds onto both ends, “At the start I might’ve been drowsy from sleep and couldn’t quite react in time, but I’d come to my senses after a few minutes wouldn’t I!?”

“I didn’t slap,” Kou Chen shifts towards the door, “Don’t exaggerate it, I just patted you…”

When he got to the second half, he’d already switched from shifting to running.

But he failed to dodge the whip of pajamas bottoms Huo Ran aimed at his back.

“Ah!” he gives a shout, running into the living room.

The few people in the living room all got a fright, turning to look over simultaneously.

“What are you both doing?” Xu ZhiFan asks.

“He blew up, he hit me,” Kou Chen says.

“RanRan!” Mama Huo immediately raises her voice, “Why did you hit him?”

Huo Ran doesn’t speak, walking up behind Kou Chen and sending his back a slap.

“Ah!” Kou Chen shouts again.

“Move aside,” Huo Ran gives him a push, walking towards the bathroom, “You graduated in Chinese Opera* when you were in kindergarten didn’t you.”

[*tl note: might be a chinese curriculum thing im not too familiar with and I couldn’t quite find anything on it but I think they have acting classes in kindergarten and Chinese opera might be one of the options..?]1

“Forget it, since it’s you,” Kou Chen saunters his way to a sofa in the living room and sits down, “Try it again if you were anyone else.”

Huo Ran turns to give him a sweeping glance; this person had walked the distance of five-and-a-half steps in total from the bedroom door to the sofa and had already completed a state change, and now had on a “A Mafia Young Master as extraordinary as I telling you such a thing is a miracle” expression.

They typically loved to eat roast when they gathered, and before winter truly arrived, barbecue activities were already in full swing, but it was actually their first time booking a private room in a barbecue restaurant.

“Is it very hard to understand?” Xu ZhiFan says, “His store’s business is great, we can’t eat without a booking, but his store doesn’t have large tables, six people is the maximum, there’s no way to squeeze the seven of us plus the meat*, so there’s only the private rooms, do take more at one go.”

[*tl note: he says 肉们 (ròumen) which is kind of cute bc hes sort of personifying the meat]

“I completely had no idea this store had private rooms,” Jiang Lei says.

“I only found out yesterday as well,” Xu ZhiFan says.

“Did you guys barbecue when you went trekking?” Wei ChaoRen asks.

“How do we barbecue when we trek,” Kou Chen says, “Having something to eat is already not bad.”

“That tragic?” Wei ChaoRen’s expression was full of pity.

“…Things aren’t easy to bring along,” Huo Ran coordinated with Kou Chen a little.

“Each person carries over a hundred jin,” Kou Chen says, “Climbing mountains, setting up our own bridge, there were even wolves, animal catches, and… snakes!”

Huo Ran usually didn’t really tell people stuff that happened along his treks, so everyone was extremely trusting when Kou Chen let loose and boasted at this moment.

Only Jiang Lei who had gone out with him once raised his question at this time.

“Huo Ran,” Jiang Lei looks at him, “Why didn’t you take me on this sort of cooler route when the two of us went out!”

“…Worried you couldn’t hold up,” Huo Ran could only answer as such.

“Didn’t you even end up dislocating?” Kou Chen says, “If you went on this one, you’d have to fracture.”

Huo Ran sighs.

Hurry up and shut up will you! The route Jiang Lei went on was at least three grades more difficult compared to this one!

“Fuck,” Jiang Lei thinks a little, “That’s true.”

“Ai,” Kou Chen works his arms a little, and was thinking to say a little more when he stops all of a sudden, his eyes looking forward, “Is that our School Doctor-jiejie?”

“Where?” Xu ZhiFan and Xu Chuan’s reactions were the quickest, swiftly starting to search.

A few seconds later, they saw that there was a girl in the parking lot at the entrance of a restaurant ahead.

It looked to indeed be School Doctor-jiejie, only that she wasn’t wearing her white doctor’s coat and her hair was down instead of her usual ponytail. Her stylishness levels had raised drastically and they almost didn’t recognize her.

School Doctor-jiejie was standing by a car which had its door open and inside, someone was holding on to her hand. She was currently speaking to the person in the car.

“Is it a date?” Hu Yi had his eyes squinted and watched for half a day before asking.

“Where’s there a date like this?” Xu ZhiFan says, “One wants to leave, the other refuses to let them leave.”

“Do we go?” Kou Chen asks.

“Go,” Xu Chuan says as he rushes forward.

“Hang on,” Xu ZhiFan grabs him, “Clarify the situation first, what if it’s a couple having a couple fight? Just going over like this, we’ll ruin a chance for acting spoiled and strengthening feelings…”

“Fuck, you really know your stuff*?” Xu Chuan looks at him.

[*tl note: xu chuan ends the sentence with an ‘ah’ so imo this sentence can be interpreted 2 ways: 1. (do you) really know your stuff? [a little criticizing] and 2. you really know your stuff huh? [a little appreciative]]

“I just guessed,” Xu ZhiFan says.

The few of them stop at a distance of about ten meters, watching the other side.

After a while, School Doctor-jiejie gave a flick of her hand, yet the person in the car held on and refused to let go, and she started to lean her body backwards, trying to retrieve her hand.

“This is not quite right is it?” Huo Ran says.

“Let’s go over,” Kou Chen says.

The few of them make their way over in quick steps, but they had yet to walk two steps when they hear School Doctor-jiejie’s enraged voice: “Let go! What are you doing!”

And following that, she struggles vigorously.

“Tao Rui!” Xu Chuan gives a shout.

Kou Chen was stunned: “Who’s Tao Rui?”

“School Doctor-jiejie,” as soon as he finishes speaking, Xu ZhiFan and Xu Chuan both run over.

The few of them follow them quickly.

“You two actually managed to find out her name?” Wei ChaoRen says.

“Is it very difficult to find out the school doctor’s name?” Xu ZhiFan says.

Tao Rui turns her head and when she sees the few of them running over, the anxious expression on her face relaxes. She waves at them, forcibly giving a greeting with some urgency: “Where did you guys go?”

“To eat, didn’t expect to bump into you, what a…” Xu ZhiFan rushes up to the car, and with a wrench of the car door, he sticks his hand in and not even caring who it was inside, he grabs the wrist, giving it a sharp twist, “Coincidence.”

The person inside inhales sharply and their grip relaxes a little, he then pulls Tao Rui’s hand out.

“What’s going on?” Xu Chuan comes over to stand in front of Tao Rui, separating her from the person in the car.

“Who are you people?” the person in the car alights, it’s a man.

“Let’s go,” Tao Rui, with her brows furrowed, turns to leave.

The man suddenly gives Xu Chuan a shove, but Xu Chuan’s lower body was rather steady and he doesn’t get pushed aside. He then reaches a hand over to grab Tao Rui’s bag strap: “XiaoRui! Don’t leave yet, let’s discuss properly.”

“Not discussing, for real, can we not waste energy on pointless things?” Tao Rui starts to tug back and forth for her bag strap with him again.

“No, we must discuss,” the man doesn’t let up, going back and forth with her with Xu Chuan in the middle, “Let’s all calm down a little…”

“Calm down my ass!” Xu Chuan roars, “Let go of me! Otherwise I’ll start!”

“Who are you people? What’s an argument between me and my girlfriend got to do with you?” the man glares at him.

“Can you stop being embarrassing!?” Tao Rui says, “It’s been months since we broke up!”

As soon as Xu ZhiFan hears this, he doesn’t make a sound, simply grabbing the back of the man’s collar and giving a tug.

An ex-boyfriend that one couldn’t be free from, the few of them were all furious hearing that it was this sort of thing.

Was this person still a man?

They’ve already broken up but he still pesters the lady and refuses to let go!

Although the space between two cars was extremely limited, the bunch still squeezed their way in, some fighting for the bag strap, some pulling Tao Rui, some who pushed, pulled and conveniently gave two hits, and it was instantly unusually lively.

There was already no space for Huo Ran to stuff himself in, and from the way things looked, they didn’t need him to enter either.

He just went over to pull Tao Rui aside after she extricated herself.

“Get them to stop hitting,” Tao Rui says, “If the disturbance gets more serious in a bit and the police arrive, when the school finds out, you wouldn’t be able to lower the number of demerit points you’ll get*.”

[*tl note: what she says is based on the concept of 压分 (yā fēn) which, according to people on zhidao baidu, is when the examiner/marker is stricter in their marking which results in the lowering of scores. it’s a bit weird seeing this used in this context bc yafen isn’t meant to be a good thing I don’t think, but she seems to mean it in a positive way (I might be inaccurate though). The line could probably also be ‘you wouldn’t be able to minimise the demerit points you’ll get’]

“They won’t start fighting,” Kou Chen says very relaxedly at the side, “He can’t even raise an arm, fight my ass.”

Huo Ran only realized then that Kou Chen, this Fighting King, unexpectedly hadn’t joined in this pseudo-group fight.

Of course, perhaps it was precisely because it was a pseudo-group fight that this person disdained participation.

“Don’t go up and join in this,” Kou Chen spoke softly by his ear, “Excellent chance for Xu ZhiFan and Xu Chuan to perform, this bunch of foolish students messed it up for them.”

“…Are they wooing Tao Rui?” Huo Ran was momentarily at a loss.

“Not wooing, just liking,” Kou Chen looks at him, “Are you a fool? Have you never liked beautiful teacher interns, beautiful kindergarten aunties, beautiful School Doctor-jiejies… before?

“Never,” Huo Ran looks at him as well, “I might’ve liked those around my age?”

“Dumbass! The kind of like I’m talking about isn’t that kind of like!” Kou Chen stares at him for half a day with a “My god come look quick there’s a fool over here” expression, “Forget it, you probably never had that kind of like either have you.”

“Which kind?” Huo Ran asks.

“The ‘if you were a girl I’d gladly dash my brains out on the ground for you’ kind,” Kou Chen says.

“…I’ve really never had that kind,” Huo Ran squints his eyes for a bit, “It’d still be better to not arbitrarily smear this thing everywhere wouldn’t it, it’s not easy to clean up.”

“Want to fight don’t you?” Kou Chen faces him, asking with his lips tugged in a ferocious manner.

“Can’t win,” Huo Ran says while smiling.

“I’m going to be infuriated to death by you,” Kou Chen says, turning twice on the spot before lunging over onto the group of people, quickly pulling them apart and giving the man in the middle who was in a rather sorry state another shove.

The man retreated a number of steps before coming to a stop, and was about to speak as he pointed at him when he’d already slapped the man’s hand away and pointed at him: “Don’t point at your daddy, when I’m in a bad mood I’ll smack you into a grandson directly.”

The man kept silent, probably trying to arrange his position in the family hierarchy.

“If you pester Tao Rui again it won’t just be giving you a few shoves, worried you won’t be able to handle it,” Kou Chen kept his voice low, his serene tone like that of a tyrant.

“Just a few brats, what else do you want?” the man was extremely displeased.

“That you’d have to ask those two, we can’t make the decision,” Kou Chen raises his chin at Xu ZhiFan and Xu Chuan.

Huo Ran gives Kou Chen a clap in his heart.

Good child, not forgetting his friends when he plays it cool.

Carrying his friends to play it cool along with him.

Only when everyone is cool is that genuine coolness.2

Not waiting for the man to speak up again, Xu ZhiFan waves his arm: “Let’s go.”

Under his and Xu Chuan’s leadership, the few of them saunter their way towards the restaurant.

Tao Rui walks half a street surrounded by them before she laughs out loud: “How are you guys so able to trouble yourselves?”

“Was he really your ex-boyfriend?” Xu Chuan asks.

“Mn,” Tao Rui nods, “Thanks for getting me out of a bind today, you guys go on and eat, I have to head back.”

“Jie you haven’t eaten either have you?” Xu ZhiFan says, “Join us? We’ve already booked a room, it’s right up ahead.”

“No need,” Tao Rui says while smiling, “You’re gathering by yourselves, if you add me in, how uncomfortable would that be? You guys wouldn’t dare to say what you want to, right?”

“They’d also be saying stuff along the lines of how pretty School Doctor-jiejie is,” Jiang Lei says, “What is there that they wouldn’t dare to say.”

“Fuck,” Xu Chuan was a little embarrassed.

The group of them laughed.

“Alright, I’ll call a taxi back, I haven’t been going home to eat these few days, I’m gonna gain weight,” Tao Rui says, “Then again I’m also worried that I might hear about one of the bad things you guys have done; it wouldn’t be good to not tell your Teacher Yuan, but telling him would affect our friendship, isn’t that right?”

The group of them didn’t insist any further, and helped Tao Rui call a taxi, only continuing forward after watching the car drive off.

“That person definitely isn’t done yet,” Hu Yi says, “When we left I turned back to look, he was glaring this way the whole time, looking extra pissed.”

“Who’s scared of him?” Xu Chuan says with disdain, “If he isn’t done then so be it.”

“In any case the decision on giving us demerit points hasn’t been announced yet,” Xu ZhiFan says, “If he really isn’t done then we’ll uphold justice once more.”

“Ah,” Huo Ran turns to look at Kou Chen, “Have you told your family that parents have to be called in?”

“Waiting for you to come before I say it,” Kou Chen says, “Which day are you free?”

“Any is fine, depends on you,” Huo Ran says.

“The day after then, when you go over give me a call, I’ll leave first…” Kou Chen takes his phone out to look at the calendar, “Then…”

“Hang on,” Huo Ran was stunned, “You’ll leave?”

“Bullshit,” Kou Chen says, “What if my dad doesn’t manage to suppress his rage? Am I supposed to stay there to perform an appearing sausage for you?”

Huo Ran starts laughing: “Not to that extent, really, I’ll definitely be able to get your dad to understand that you only fought to do a good deed, I fully guarantee that you won’t become a sausage.”

“Really?” Kou Chen places his arm onto his shoulder, “I really couldn’t tell, RanRan.”

“Mn?” Huo Ran looks at him.

“You dote on me this much,” after Kou Chen finishes speaking he doesn’t pause for even an instant, turning and giving his forehead an extremely smooth mouth, “MUA!”

Huo Ran was stunned for a good few seconds before swearing under his breath: “You’re dead!”

The few people who were walking ahead all turn back, and Xu ZhiFan asks: “Who?”

“You MUAtherfucker I’ll let you know what MUAMUA is today!” Huo Ran grabs Kou Chen’s collar at once, pulling him in front of him and giving his face a series of smacking kisses, “MUA! MUA! MUA!”

What he felt was similar to knocking into a wall.

The bunch of them were first all stunned, then started to laugh maniacally and unstoppably.

“How’s that!” Huo Ran wipes his mouth.

Kou Chen’s entire person was dazed, glaring at him.

“I’m asking you?” Huo Ran raises his eyebrow.

Kou Chen was still glaring at him, and only after a good while does he say: “Ai fuck.”

“Mn?” Huo Ran looks at him, feeling a sort of delight that came from having won a battle.

Kou Chen grins all of a sudden, also raising an eyebrow: “Forgot to take photos.”