Chapter 5

Because of Lin Taiping's sudden intervention, what was supposed to be a tragic night battle ended up as a comedy, at least for the minotaurs. Although they didn't catch a single dark elf, when the minotaurs chased out, they unexpectedly captured several mounts left behind by the dark elves, including a rare Swift Dragon... Well, "rare" means that Tulou, drooling, swore he had never eaten the meat of this creature before!

So, two hours later, the minotaur tribe, which had been troubled by food, was enjoying fragrant roasted meat. As the greatest hero of this battle, Lin Taiping was naturally invited to the barbecue party and, without hesitation, took on the role of the chef again.

Grilling steaks, stir-frying diced meat, stewing meat soup, he wielded a rusty kitchen knife, bustling in front of the stove, while a talkative bull beside him rambled, "Lin! I swear to the Dark God, from now on, you are our most honored friend... By the way, when are we eating?"

"Ha, that last part is the key, isn't it?" Lin Taiping looked at him with disdain but couldn't help rubbing his chin, "By the way, you haven't told me why giving birth to a dark elf's child is so terrifying."

"Well..." Tulou, with a strange look on his face, stroked his horns and stammered after a long pause, "Actually, giving birth to a dark elf's child isn't scary, what's scary is giving birth to a group of dark elves' children. Do you know how many of them there are?"

Well, according to Tulou, the dark elves have always been that way, and their race is entirely female. They usually capture males from other races for mating, using a forceful and domineering method to reproduce, and all the offspring have dark elf characteristics.

Worse still, they have no concept of monogamy. Once a poor man falls into their hands, he will be swarmed by a large group of dark elves... What? You think it's exciting to be surrounded by a group of beautiful women? Fine, if you can still say that after being gang-raped ten times!

So, any man who falls into the hands of the dark elves has only two fates: either he is raped to death, or he is killed after completing his reproductive task. Speaking of which, the man who has been specifically named by the dark elf leader is probably destined to become a human breeding machine.

"Is that true?" Lin Taiping, thinking of the scene where he was surrounded by a group of seductive dark elves tearing his clothes, suddenly shivered, "Well, I love beautiful women, but being gang-raped is something I can't handle."

"Scary, right?" Tulou looked at him sympathetically but patted his chest, "But, Lin, don't worry, we will protect you with all our might. At most, when those dark elves come to capture you, we will castrate you first, so they won't take you back."

Roll! Lin Taiping couldn't help rolling his eyes and suddenly felt an urge to castrate the bull first, "Damn, if I had known this, I wouldn't have agreed to cook for you. If that dark elf finds out I roasted her mount, she will definitely evolve from a dark elf to a demon."

In fact, just as he suspected, dozens of miles away on a small hill, the dark elf leader, gritting her teeth, turned around and looked at the distant smoke, so angry that her shoulders trembled, "Human, how dare you... How dare you... Damn, I will make you give birth to children for us until you die!"

Achoo! As if sensing the resentment from dozens of miles away, Lin Taiping couldn't help shivering, but it was too late now. With the bonfire burning brightly, several plates of hot Swift Dragon meat were already on the table.

What could he say? Lin Taiping could only sigh helplessly and picked up a piece of meat to put in his mouth, "Hmm, the taste is still good, just a bit lacking in chili. Do you want... Forget it, let's not talk about it."

There was no time for him to finish. Dozens of minotaurs, with red eyes, rushed forward, grabbing the food and stuffing it into their mouths, swallowing it down without caring if their tongues were burned. In fact, from the look of their ecstasy, they might even swallow their tongues.

In just a few minutes, the table was cleared like a storm, and Tulou, holding a large piece of hot grilled steak, knocked over several minotaurs who tried to snatch it and wept, "Damn it! By the Dark God, even if you offer me a castle, I won't give up this grilled steak, never!"

"Hey, hey, hey, can't you be a bit more ambitious?" Lin Taiping finally couldn't stand it and patted Tulou's shoulder, "Old Tulou, as a great minotaur warrior, don't you think you should have a greater life goal?"

"I don't!" Tulou answered honestly, hugging the grilled steak tightly, "What ideals? As long as I can eat such delicious meals every day, I am content."

"Please, is this even a feast?" Lin Taiping looked at him speechlessly, "Don't you want to have an estate, eating endless delicacies, wearing fine silk, spending gemstones and gold coins, and maybe even having beautiful female mages... Hmm, speaking of beautiful mages, how many do you want?"

"Five or six should be enough!" Dozens of minotaurs answered instinctively, looking up at the sky, imagining that beautiful life.

But the next moment, in the eerie silence, Tulou wiped the drool from the corner of his mouth and shook his head helplessly, "Impossible, this is impossible. Not even the Lich King has enjoyed such a life."

"Why not?" Lin Taiping straightened his collar seriously, having led up to this point, "Let me put it this way, do you know what my ideal is?"

What is it? Tulou and dozens of minotaurs perked up their ears, feeling the gossip fire burning.

Under their collective gaze, Lin Taiping dragged out a long note and then coughed seriously, "Well, my ideal is actually very simple, which is—enjoy life! Enjoy life to the fullest!"

Oh my! Dozens of minotaurs fell over, and Tulou, biting his hoof, opened his eyes wide in embarrassment, "Lin, are you joking?"

"What's wrong with that?" Lin Taiping, without blushing, spread his hands, "Even if the goal is to conquer the world or become the strongest, isn't it ultimately for a more comfortable life?"

Well, he had to admit, this was indeed his current ideal. As a cynical, sarcastic, and lazy person, his so-called great ideal was to sleep until he naturally woke up, count money until his hands cramped, and live a life so comfortable that it would make others envious, jealous, and hateful—

To be a great lord with a vast territory, living in a magnificent bone castle personally supervised by the Lich King, waking up naturally in a warm bedroom renovated by black mages, dressed by a group of beautiful fox girls; enjoying exquisite meals prepared by a half-elf chef and fruit drinks air-freighted from the distant East;

Then, if he felt bored, he could take the undead fleet out to sea, with a group of heavily armed dark knights behind him, a lazy and dozing fire dragon at his feet, a cigar-smoking fallen angel beside him, and a few beautiful mermaids singing "Turandot" in front;

Of course, he could also visit a few ports along the way, do some small business worth hundreds of millions of gold coins, and if he saw someone he didn't like, he could snap his fingers and have hundreds of thousands of skeletons gang up on them, then collect protection fees, and finally talk about life goals with a beautiful mature lady...

What? You think this is vulgar? That's right, dare you say you haven't thought about it?

Very well, very powerful, what a great, noble, righteous, and passionate ideal. For a moment, dozens of minotaurs were moved to tears, and only Tulou nodded in admiration, "Yes, yes, I've always thought that... But Lin, how do we achieve this ideal?"

Indeed, ideals are full, but reality is harsh. Living a luxurious life that makes everyone give the middle finger is the ideal of all creatures, including dark creatures. But with the current poor conditions of the minotaur tribe and the barren and backward Demon Island, it seemed very difficult.

"Don't worry, there will be food, gold, and beautiful women." Lin Taiping shrugged nonchalantly and then smiled, extending his left hand, "I will take care of everything, but the question is—Tulou, are you interested in joining?"

"Well..." Tulou stroked his smart head, and for a few seconds, he suddenly felt as if he saw a demon's tail wagging behind Lin.

But then, thinking of the life of counting money until his hands cramped, he jumped up like he had been injected with adrenaline, placing his hoof on the table, "Do you even need to ask? Lin, just tell us what to do!"

"Exactly! Exactly!" Dozens of minotaurs nodded, raising their hooves in the air, shouting enthusiastically, "Demacia! Get rich! Demacia! Enjoy life! Demacia! Get beautiful women!"

"Very well, it's settled then!" Lin Taiping nodded satisfactorily, suddenly feeling that if he became a charlatan, he could definitely deceive a large group of devout believers.

But soon, reality proved that devotion could sometimes be terrifying. For example, the next moment, the thoroughly enthusiastic Tulou, waving his hand confidently, declared, "Everyone, to celebrate Lin's arrival and to wish for our great ideal, bring forth our tribe's most beautiful maiden!"

Thus, in the envious gazes of dozens of minotaurs, the most beautiful minotaur maiden, Lya, appeared. With a wall-like body, a waist that needed two people to encircle, eyes as big as copper bells, a shy and bashful expression, and the strange sound of swallowing saliva...

At this moment, Lin Taiping couldn't help but shed tears, "No need, I'm not really interested in women. You should... Hey, hey, hey, don't come over, if you come over, just come over, why are you tearing my clothes... Help! Help! Help!"

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Seeing the comments from many old readers, I am moved. During the new book period, please support and vote for the book.

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