Chapter 8

"Actually, I've always thought so."

Madoka interjected, "Finally realized it, huh?"

"Your current happiness, it's like being a vegetarian," Madoka said.

"Vegetarian, huh? That's a good way to put it."

As if finding a well-shaped stone on the riverbank, Myojin raised the corners of her mouth in satisfaction.

"The pain and suffering of the ones being eaten. There are groups that preach this, but in the end, they seek and create alternatives. In the end, isn't it that they really want to eat meat?"

"You're right. Vegetarianism might be socially wonderful, but a life of only vegetables is, after all, tasteless."

"Satisfying human desires can also mean hurting someone. But those desires are the nutrients that make people grow. They have developed society to this point. They have even grabbed what seemed like unreachable dreams with chunks of iron."

Myojin took a sip from her glass and swallowed.

"Human desires can destroy one's self if they go too far, but vegetarianism can rob people of their growth. It's no different from worker ants that are only given the purpose of maintaining society. If you don't eat meat properly, you can't achieve independence from society or find the purpose of life."

Maintaining society. Preserving and prospering the species.

These are certainly important, but people don't live for that. It's because they stopped living for that that they became human. They placed more importance on the happiness of the individual. The current society was built by connecting the happiness of each individual.

That's why the happiness of just one individual can bring about an imbalance of unhappiness. If people don't live to maintain society and don't monitor each other, they will quickly perish. But people have grown to the point where they can't live just for that.

That's why complex rules and morals were born. They allowed the budding desires to be satisfied within certain limits.

In conclusion,

"More than anything, eating meat is just delicious, isn't it?"

Satisfying desires is human happiness, and it is those desires that lead to individual happiness.

Myojin savored the tuna, looking delighted.

"That's true. Even if we're told that animals are suffering, meat is still delicious."

Madoka also bit into a shrimp, looking immersed in the deliciousness.

"Being a carnivore can destroy one's self if it goes too far..."

I, too, followed suit and ate a piece of fatty tuna.

The taste of a life taken to satisfy human arrogance and desire.

"Vegetarianism wasn't attractive enough to make me want to escape from that."

I knew it, but it was so delicious that it made me happy.

"Kasumi has grown, too."

Madoka nodded happily.

A life I thought I had lived seriously. I had been so inflexible with myself that I had worried Madoka.

Through the incident with Kaede, I no longer cared as much about how others saw me.

But,

"Growth... Who was it that said I had fallen as far as I could?"

I wondered if it was really for the best.

I thought I was being indulged by Kaede, but somehow I was the one being pampered. Now that I'm no longer under the eyes of others at home, what will become of me? I feel like I'll keep falling if I don't think that there are always eyes on me, even in places where there aren't.

"Oh, did I say that?"

Madoka feigned ignorance.

"Social growth is just a measure of how well you've adapted to society."

Madoka threw the ball, as if to say, "If you don't pick it up, I will."

"The most important thing is not to measure growth by how well you fit into society, but by the balance and distance between you and society. It's about being able to convince yourself that you've grown when you look back on your life."

"Is that the right answer?"

"No, it's my philosophy of life."

Myojin laughed heartily.

"There is no right answer in this world. There's only the majority's value system that calls itself the right answer. Everyone justifies their lives by saying that the pain and suffering of not being able to fulfill it are valid, but it's just a pushy imposition."

"That's how I was made to realize just how much I had done wrong."

I chuckled and dropped my shoulders.

"What I was doing was pushing my ego on others because I was afraid and didn't like how they would be seen. I was just pushing my own insecurities onto them. But because it looked bad, I masked my true feelings. I imposed and instilled my masked guilt on them to protect my own position.

'I'm saying this for your own good.' I used such a cowardly phrase."

It was a really nasty story.

One-sided thoughts are no different from a curse.

Cursing someone brings back the curse multiplied.

"When I think about the future of someone important, I won't say, 'I'm saying this for your own good' anymore. I'll listen properly, find the line we can't cross, and compromise on that basis.

Because no matter how important and dear the person is, their life is not a tool to fulfill my own happiness."

"That's how you allowed that life to be hurt."

"No, I didn't allow it."

I shook my head, and Myojin stared at me intently, as if expecting an interesting answer.

"I just thought that the contents had overflowed because I poured too much into them. People might say it's dirty or a waste, but if the person is having fun, that's the best. I can just smile and laugh with them, thinking, 'What a silly kid.' If that child is laughing and happy, I'm happy too."

"So you changed the definition."

"This is just wordplay. It's presumptuous to criticize someone's happiness and say their life is damaged."

"You're right. It's a question of who you think you are."

Myojin nodded slowly, showing genuine empathy.

"So I've stopped playing word games about form and content. We are adults, even if we are still immature. If we can talk about the lines we can't cross and be happy together, that's enough."

"But life isn't just about being happy. You might encounter difficult and painful situations that you can't overcome. Have you thought about that?"

"That's the line we draw for such times. I won't let you take the easy way out by saying, 'If it's not working, just die.' I want you to come to me when that happens. I want you to start over. If you promise me that, you can throw away the life you've been living by others' standards right now. I'll support you, and I want you to aim for the perfect life you envision.

That's how I want to carry Kaede's life."

"Good answer. Even I, a heartless person, would give it a perfect score."

Myojin smiled as if she had been shown a beautiful gem.

"There's no need to sacrifice your own happiness to care about what others think. As long as you follow the rules and morals, you have no reason to be condemned. If you still don't like it and interfere with someone's happiness, tell them this."

Myojin took a deep breath and shouted, raising her middle finger to the ceiling.

"Who cares, you idiot! Shut up and die!"

It was a terrible scene, but it was refreshing to laugh.

I straightened up and faced Myojin again.

"Thank you for your cooperation this time."

I bowed deeply.

"It's fine. This time, it was mutual. I'm glad you made the right decision."

"Mutual?"

Madoka said, looking puzzled.

When I raised my head, I saw

"Because a friend's face is more interesting when they're laughing with their nose than when they're solemnly enlightened."

There was a face that was happy for someone else.

Maybe Myojin had been thinking about that guy in her own way.

"Perfect ending. Let's toast to our new beginning."

Madoka raised her glass on the table.

We followed suit.

"Also, let's hope for a wonderful encounter to take in Kasumi."

"You..."

I just sighed at Madoka's smirking face.

If it was this neatly wrapped up, there was no need to add such a punchline.

--- Ah, in that sense, Madoka really left a terrible punchline. Because of that, I ended up breaking my own vow right away.

"Speaking of Kurumi, have you found a good partner?"

"Master, actually, I've finally found true love and affection."

"Oh, that's wonderful."

Madoka, puffing out her chest, received an expectant look from Myojin.

"What kind of person is it this time?"

"A shy and pure person who's never been in a relationship before. ...We're a bit apart in age, but that's actually a good thing."

"Another age gap? ...How many years apart this time?"

"...About seven years."

My worried question made Madoka's eyes dart around as she answered.

It's not the same as with that guy... I almost sighed, but I quickly reconsidered.

We are twenty-four this year. An age gap of that size isn't that unusual.

"Maybe someone a few years older is just right now."

After two years, if Madoka had been careful with her relationship, an adult like that would be fine. I just wished her a happy future.

But when I tried to self-reflect,

"Wait, no, no. This time, it's younger."

"Younger?"

"Yeah. So he's really cute."

Madoka's cheeks bloomed with delight.

I've always been with older people, so I've always been the one being pampered. This time, I'm the one doing the pampering. It's a first, so it's fun.

"Right. Then you have to be more responsible... Wait, younger?"

I realized something terrible and my face froze.

Unable to do the subtraction in my head, I counted on my fingers like a child.

Our age minus seven. Then subtract the two years since the relationship started.

"A... ah..."

My frozen face turned pale at the answer.

"Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Myojin, who had reached the same conclusion, burst into a vulgar laugh, pounding the table.

My head hurt.

Unable to bear the pain, I slumped onto the table.

Just when everything was settled and I had sorted out my feelings after the Kaede incident, a similar problem arose. This time, I was on the side of the perpetrator as defined by society, after having been with a child.

What kind of encounter was it? What kind of child? What happened that led to the relationship? There might be something we can't understand, something only the two of them know, something that can be called real.

Madoka is a dear friend. Her life is not a tool to fulfill my happiness.

I have to listen properly, find the line we can't cross, and compromise on that basis. We have to talk about it.

Because that's what it means to care for someone. It can't be one-sided.

"...Madoka"

I couldn't think about it with this aching head,

"I'm saying this for your own good."

And I took the easy way out.

The epilogue will be posted tomorrow at 12:00 PM.

*Postscript*

I have finished writing the conclusion.

The epilogue will be posted without delay, with 01 at 12:00 PM and 02 at 6:00 PM, concluding this work.