Chapter 5

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No Plagiarism!HfNq4zkrdNdgcX8RlchIposted on PＥNAＮＡ (01)8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3xYUNPHMi 維尼

Dawn had come. It was time to go to work. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGKA2hSkQr 維尼

Squeezing into the jam-packed train compartment, my heart found an odd sense of calmness that hardly ever came by. Looking at people on their electronic devices made me feel an odd sense of comfort. After all, it was hard to break away from the looks of familiar faces. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbUEPWXKek 維尼

The train went on steadily with faint wobbles as usual, enchanting its tired passengers to plunge deeper into slumber. At the same time, peckish fellows blatantly ignored the announcement on the train, gnawing and wolfing down their food while attracting unfriendly sideways glances. As small as grains of sand, food crumbs quietly dropped themselves onto the floor when nobody was aware and were instantly stepped on and crushed into even smaller pieces. Alas, they met their demise—the cycle of being recklessly stomped on at the next few stations, before ultimately returning to dust.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2tkJs3l1P 維尼

That was my stop. I half-wittingly took a detour from the crowd, ‘accidentally’ treading on the crumbles where a few ants were crawling on, sending a stream of pleasure down my spine. As the doors closed, I turned my head back and looked into the compartment, my heart burning with desire to savour the sight of the ravaged crumbs I had trampled on. But it was too late, since the train had already left.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXVHRVbGly 維尼

Couldn't see them after all. Whatever.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIHmurzY9v 維尼

Dusk came. Time to get off work. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJtzmXkuaB 維尼

Both my head and my heart were burnt out from exhaustion. It took us ages to wedge myself and my male colleague into the compartment, after which we carried on with bad-mouthing our boss.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1o4WJsF1wf 維尼

‘There's an ant.’ In a flash, he pointed at a tiny ant, which had been crawling quickly from the camp of my shoe to my calf.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuBXKShope 維尼

I froze in fear as my mind went blank. No! There was a figure in the distance. Who was that? I couldn’t see it… I didn't want to see it...8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71RsbToWmh 維尼

Bang! A slap on my calf delivered by my male workmate sent the ant to its doom—flattened.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNXguRJbSm 維尼

‘It's alright now!’ He flashed a grin. ‘Are you scared of creepy crawlies?’ 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoHxfmWaah 維尼

‘No, I’m only scared of ants.’ I replied, my lips still faintly tremouring from terror as I forced a smile.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlnfzpVbL7 維尼

An ant was lighter than a feather, yet its dead body weighed my leg down like a mountain, sticking to it. There wasn’t much fluid from its body, then why would it feel slimy to me? I didn’t want to think much, I didn’t dare to think much, fearing that a colony of ants would creep out from the depths of my mind.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbleEsvz3J 維尼

Like the cursed name of Voldemort, it couldn’t be said out loud but still remained deep in my heart, driving a sense of fear into me that I could not name. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcgDChhIDD 維尼

The colony of ants had already dug deep and nested in my mind, where they nursed larvae and young ants. Hatched out from their eggs, the young ants devoured my heart and mind, blazing a trail in my body. Together, they marked their presence by leaving trails of their determination behind, reflected in their decorated nest. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLSpKWh3C5 維尼

United we stand! For the greater good! It’s all about teamwork! Submit to your fate and be responsible! Don’t ask the colony what it can do for you, instead ask yourself what you can do for the colony!8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡMA8Ol5U23Z 維尼

What was pleasing for the ant colony was clammy for me. It was a thick, muddy paste which looked like snot. They dragged my body and confined my thoughts. Such heaviness, yet I couldn’t resist it.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsY8IwzW2S 維尼

What a scary colony of ants. I never dared to face them directly. Turning a blind eye wasn’t the best solution, yet it was the best way to deceive myself.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBQWyGXh5I 維尼

Inserting my key, I opened the door and entered my apartment.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrH0ZJCC2y 維尼

There was a human-sized ant in an apron, and it was making a meal. The viscous food almost made me gag. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQO6zvAQD7 維尼

It demanded me to eat it all up. I didn’t dare to resist, so I braced myself with tears and gorged down the liqueous mess.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvzV1labPw 維尼

Disgusting.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnrK1qs0fQ 維尼

‘Does it taste good?’ It asked.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2HGOxiZTw 維尼

‘Yes.’ I didn’t venture to make out other answers.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQlDlfJr80 維尼

(02)8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNdigykz5i 維尼

Time for lunch break.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Rr4mBQc7s 維尼

To save energy, some of the ceiling lights would be turned off, and the air conditioning would be adjusted to twenty five degrees Celsius. The office went dim instantly and the air became stuffy, almost suffocating us. Colleagues who stayed in for lunch were separated by screens as they ate their meals and killed time in their own cubicles.254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjXDrWnxMI

8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUgy7Hlx05 維尼

Miss A was watching a television series online, which were always tear-jerking stories revolving around tears, arguments and suicides. Mr B was yawning; his snores were like squeals from a pig. Miss C couldn’t stop smiling when she looked up travelling details. Meanwhile, Mr D was still enjoying his large lunchbox. The food had been there for half the day, and it had already turned into a gooey mixture with deathly pale shades, giving a sense of morbidness. Miss E...8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZTJ9VcGKL 維尼

I leaned my back against the soft cushions, leaning back on the computer chair with ease. With my light jacket resting on my shoulders, I gazed up at the 2 by 2 plasterboard-made ceiling, lost in thought. The plasterboard above my head was the biggest and squarest among all of them. Looking across the whole office, the plasterboards over there were like small trapeziums. The ceiling grid gave the plain looking ceiling a sense of distance, creating a touch of beauty. Although there were a few illuminating white lights trying to balance out the gloomy feeling in the office, it wasn't enough to suppress the dimness. The stiffening coldness was still hovering in the air. Cubicle after cubicle, like heaps of manual labour, like machines.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8NqyYk95m 維尼

Everyone was robots coated with organic skin, everybody was like ants. Their own individual characteristics were slowly being blurred out, as if they were made out of molds, becoming indistinguishable. They were all trying to live their own lives in different ways, yet they were unaware that such a way of thinking had already rooted deep in their brains, corrupting their minds. After experiencing a lifetime of rollercoaster rides, they ultimately had to blindly sacrifice their whole life for the greater good. Working hard day and night, just to have a good meal for survival. As long as they weren’t dead, they would continue to sacrifice their lives while saying in that ridiculously cockish tone, 'My life is so meaningful!'8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡGT4uMVg4oQ 維尼

All of a sudden, I caught a glimpse of an ant sauntering on the back of my hand. Pitiful feelings emerging, I gently put my hand down onto the table, so as to let it crawl away naturally. As I peered at the ant disappearing at the corner of the wall, I felt myself disappear as well. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPQ13KuAbj 維尼

I buried myself into work behind the screen.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69z7llkbTF 維尼

My fingertips flew across the keyboard, letting out tap after tap.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡedcV7sA6C8 維尼

The words were as small as ants.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3k2vGxisdK 維尼

Serving as words, tiny ants were deformed and typed onto the blank white sheet on the monitor, as stiff as boards. Pretending to be words, pretending to be cultural, pretending to be democratic, pretending to be liberated. Undoubtedly born to be slaves, they had no way to get rid of the servility in their genes. Yet, they just had to deliberately twist and distort their true selves, serving no more than to sugarcoat their horrifying realities with nice words and miens. Look! Words built by lives were indeed magnificent!8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡMH5dgw7q6G 維尼

I curled my lips upwards, letting out a sneer, and I could feel a stream of coolness rushing inside me. Push. Them. Dead!8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡFh9dow5mzB 維尼

The rich, tacky perfume of my female boss had arrived earlier than her. ‘You!’ She hollered angrily as she walked towards me. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡwc0sHXzI3C 維尼

Slap! I was startled by the sudden drop of thick piles of files onto my desk. ‘This is ridiculous! Unacceptable!’ With cherry red nail polish on her nails, her index finger pointed at the ‘mistakes’ forcefully, making several formidable punctures on the paper.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuHMeLDVqH 維尼

I pushed up my heavy glasses, brushed my hair away to the side of my ears, and gave a close look of that poor mistake. ‘This was the sum recorded in the data Mr. B gave me.’ I skilfully retrieved the yellow file from the file tray and handed to her the sheet of paper that Mr. B had given me. Just in case that she didn't understand, I gave her a thorough explanation about the details.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwifwQxPfO 維尼

Her face turned green, and her eyes darted towards Mr. B, who immediately defended himself by deducing that it was Miss E's fault, saying that her explanation had misled him. Miss E gave it a thought, then pointed her finger at Miss A. Without even thinking, Miss A dragged Mr. D down with her… All this blaming traced back to the boss, going all the way back to one of her initial orders.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpgHUFoMNB 維尼

She burst into flames of wrath, biting my head off in front of everyone. Deep down in their hearts, my colleagues knew it wasn't my fault at all. Nevertheless, they couldn't go against their nature of being slaves; they had become completely numb towards injustice, witnessing me being forced to face the guillotine. They continued to let this atrocity roam over their lives, seeing it as an element that was essential to the journey of life, a routine to survive. There was no need to empathize or feel guilty for one's tragic experiences. Words of apologies or consolation were simply unnecessary.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZoADe8Rha 維尼

I felt my soul leaving my body, after which it revolved around my boss’ ugly appearance, bringing a smile to my face. Time slowed down, and I took my time to study every single detail. Her meaty cheeks were bloated beneath her big, round eyes. Her thin lips that spat out diabolic words which would not spare anyone were smeared with burgundy lipstick. Spit would occasionally come out between her two front teeth, letting a foul smell as she commanded her slaves to follow her orders. Her gigantic, stout physique was the top of the heap among the entire company, especially her abdomen and hips, plump and round. She would probably bear many children with that body.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6V3DEvAvpW 維尼

As I began to lose interest in her, my mind drifted away from her to the ladies’ washroom, silently waiting for the arrival of my numb torso.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzgb7aSAII 維尼

As my heart and my mind reunited once more, a big ant coincidentally passed by a toilet cubicle. Without doubt, I used my fingers to press its head against the floor, which plunged downwards almost instantly. Meanwhile, its plump, round abdomen went the opposite way, rising up. Its tiny limbs didn't even have enough time to struggle before it remained stuck forever.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1g3sRQzeT8 維尼

A peculiar sense of satisfaction swept all over my body, with goosebumps rising on my skin and my scalp tingling with excitement.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡoA9FQZWMUP 維尼

I smiled. I smiled for its befall.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSZOuUnbHo 維尼

(03)8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡklP2HyZFny 維尼

Off work. I went to the bar to kill time.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCPdND763Q 維尼

The owner tried to establish the mood with dim lighting, yet to me, it made the bar look like low-cost mine lamps used in caves. It still wasn’t bright enough even after straining their every nerve. I could only make out a few steps in front of myself, so I relied on the scent of my male colleague’s cologne to lead the way. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgXzHyALJj 維尼

After a long journey, we finally reached a small sofa in the corner. From the menu, I picked a glass of orange juice, pan-fried chicken wings, and deep fried fish fillets. He wanted a cocktail and some peanuts. I took off my glasses, and I watched the world revolving around me turn blurry. It was relaxing, and I felt like opening up myself. We ate, drank, and chatted, all while we complained about everything, especially our boss; it felt great. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOxYtj6l6E 維尼

After a few drinks, my male co-worker was getting rather drunk. I tried to convince him to stop drinking and go home immediately. He refused and instead ordered another cocktail, insisting on pouring it down my throat. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡVciFbokLVy 維尼

‘Aren't you only afraid of ants? Why are you scared of alcohol now?’ My male coworker asked as he pointed at my glass of orange juice, his laughs teasing my childish behaviour. His front teeth were bizarrely big, like a pair of crescents. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ju0zsEVQi 維尼

‘Actually, I'm not really fond of it.’ I stuttered out timidly, rejecting his request. I was scared of alcohol, and I was also scared of him. Was it because of the dim lighting? Was it because I took my glasses off? He became unrecognisable in front of me.Beams of flaxen-coloured lighting vaguely drew out his strange silhouette: a small head, a tiny chest, and a large abdomen.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmVdaSiuMR 維尼

‘Or… ’ He approached me devilishly and whispered into my ear. ‘Do you actually not drink?’ Wittingly or unwittingly, the tip of his tongue lightly grazed my earlobe, leaving a slight tinge of moisture, with faint wisps of liquor lingering in his breath. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkjxyZwaHi 維尼

I felt my body going limp, my head dizzy with thoughts. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcq8JjrBGF 維尼

‘Ants use the scent of their excretion for communication.’ My biology teacher in secondary school didn’t know how to teach, so the class was really boring. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡpoaWHH5kbB 維尼

I froze as my acquaintance boldly opened his mouth, ready to devour and conquer me whole.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgAqHtJOxF 維尼

‘By using their large pair of mandibles, ants bite to attack their enemies or defend themselves.’ My teacher had explained.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8aknnLTDf 維尼

With our lips locked together and our tongues intertwined, he left a sour taste in my mouth. What he apparently wanted was Whiskey Sour’, a classic type of cocktail.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54UTZm7BRy 維尼

‘Ants secrete formic acid when they bite.’ Memories of my teacher’s lesson would forever be stuck with me. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ93LwcEAiq 維尼

Mixing together whiskey, lemon juice, white sugar, and soda water, it created a refreshing sensation. I loved this fragrance ambling between sobriety and inebriation, much like the fiery sparks of one’s struggles between freedom and servility; so alluring, hurting, and murderous.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXLYHtxuxB 維尼

I chugged down the entire glass in one big gulp.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡWC3FdyHK4F 維尼

In the end, I passed out. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡyB4zDqNc17 維尼

Truth be told, I was actually a miniscule human being, but I would sometimes daydream about being an ant, spending my life without rhyme or reason. I would only search for food, which was my only goal. How dull would that be! This was survival, like no other.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkuBrsQ0rW 維尼

Or…8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36hEqMSj8T 維尼

The truth was, I was actually an ant, but I would sometimes daydream about being a human, spending my preposterous life as a mere mortal. It would be a life of goal-oriented, hopeful efforts though. I would run towards the so-called ‘hopes’. How extravagant would that be! This was meaningful, no more, no less.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4z9P4wTrst 維尼

Meaning, where was it? 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAGHzzlpcx 維尼

Where? The whiff of his cologne enveloped me in pitch-darkness. Where? Using all six limbs, he crawled upon me, wandering upon every inch of my skin. Where? His putrid antennae explored everywhere, attempting to find the entrance of the cave.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡza7TFpXQR5 維尼

During the mating flight, our half-transparent wings reflected out enigmatic rays of rainbow, giving a bewitching sensation to the boring surroundings. With lustful and spiritual desires entwined, thin, long wings began to stretch open enthusiastically, and the sound of flapping wings echoed around us. Light and crisp, it lulled people to their slumber. We knew that it was the point of no return, yet the temptation was so hard to resist, and so we headed right into the murky water.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGiIQ7oDUS 維尼

We mated and landed on the ground. He was my love, my choice. I embraced him tightly, hoping to show him my affection before he lost his consciousness completely. Should I lament or rejoice in this situation?8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnVTeqU0fr 維尼

His life was only for the purpose of seeking happiness, and his journey ended at his euphoria. Should I laugh or cry? I shed off my wings quietly as I enter the golden age of my life. I now had the ability to start a family, to bear children. Unfortunately, I also bidded farewell to my freedom at the same time...8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27TaM4wzYn 維尼

The next morning, the aromatic smell of food woke me up. Covering my body with a blanket, I tiptoed out of the room and saw my companion busily making us a hearty breakfast.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Rm3Zr6skY 維尼

‘Morning…’ A bashful smile grew on his face. ‘Come here and have your breakfast. I bought you corn congee. It’s soft.’8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDMPGn0bgs 維尼

I didn’t open my mouth to reply to him. Instead, I ran towards him and gave him a warm hug, ignoring the blanket which was now on the floor.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSpI3JSZ2l 維尼

I thought he had died, like aners after mating. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDhgruy3o2 維尼

(04)8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6r3x3FAAB 維尼

It was a holiday, and I was at the hospital. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡHafsaQ39Em 維尼

Mum suddenly fainted in the living room and hurt her head. After she was sent to the hospital, we were told that it wasn’t clear what she had been diagnosed with, until her medical report became available next week.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiRUC7joAh 維尼

Tears flooded the room when family members saw her. The air suffocated everyone with sorrow and worry. The solemnity in the room was too much, even for those who were mentally strong. No wonder. Mum used to be so bubbly and healthy. Yet after staying at the hospital for no more than two days, her eyes had completely lacked lustre, and she had become as thin as a rail.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBNFMzFxxY 維尼

Mum was a typical traditional housewife, and she believed that family was the most important thing. She always liked to set examples by taking part in everything, trying so hard to keep the family whole. She sacrificed everything: her money, her youth, her time, her future, her freedom… Everyone who knew her would praise her for being a good mother, a good wife, a good daughter. To me though, I never saw her as a ‘good person’. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0hIoJEl5p 維尼

She was no person. She was an ant.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡHi47MsxWtH 維尼

She was the queen ant of the family: no power to rule, but everyone would naturally think of her as the pillar supporting the family. Everything had to revolve around her.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlu0S84rRP 維尼

In front of her, everyone buried their anxieties among themselves for her sake, with their enmities concealed beneath their fake smiles. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0WAezkzUS 維尼

A harmonious family; it sounded so appealing. Yet, the beauty behind it was all built upon Mum's existence and efforts. If she wasn't present, would this beauty still flourish in the years to come? If not, then didn't it mean that this beauty was only an illusion? In other words, we were all trapped under Mum's magnificent fantasy. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqVbJFYhCM 維尼

To be gravely honest, I didn't want Mum to be discharged from the hospital.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVH5inOQMU 維尼

I wanted to directly point out all of Dad's mistakes, shouting at him for his gambling addiction that caused the whole family to suffer. I wanted to reveal the true nature of Aunt hidden behind her mask of hypocrisy: strict towards others, yet lenient towards herself.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0XMbU1Cr9 維尼

I wanted to pierce Grandma's heart with the truth by telling her these words: Your precious son had already abandoned you a long time ago. Stop thinking of him. Look at your daughter (Mum) whom you had always neglected. She was the one who took care of you, who tolerated your hot temper, who thought through everything for you.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXdpyI8xBc 維尼

I want to discuss future projects with my sister, those which had been objected to by Mum all these years...8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSQ6eiANVY 維尼

Was I vicious? Was I selfish? Could I possibly be more selfish than Mum had been? In the name of ‘keeping the family together’, she had to make us see each other day after day, forcing us to swallow our grudges. Who cared if you couldn’t digest them? Just swallow them down!8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ftuCCinyn 維尼

I never understood this. Why were we still together when we didn't get along? For our consanguinity that we were stuck with? Was that small streak of bloodline more important than everyone's happiness and freedom? Starting families, building societies, forming tribes, all of which were to make communication and interaction more convenient among us, in order to let human culture transcend. Nevertheless, Mum had put the cart before the horse. She obliged everyone to remain still in their poor selves and not make any progress, so as to start a family. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡHogsFzED43 維尼

I was willing to care for Mum's feelings, not because I loved her, but because I pitied her.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEJ2hrxZFF 維尼

She was the epitome of servility. It had seeped into her bones, into her pith, and even into her genes. She survived just to survive. She followed traditions just to follow traditions. She started a family just to start a family. She wasn't wrong. She was just blindly following the steps society had left behind, not thinking for even a moment whether they suited her or not for.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaZJFvs0r5 維尼

Strictly speaking, she was a victim. Same as everyone else, she thought she was living her own life, yet she was unaware that this way of thinking had already rooted deep in her brain, corrupting her mind. After experiencing a lifetime of rollercoaster rides, she ultimately had to sacrifice her whole life for the greater good...8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQnUQt27Qa 維尼

‘I feel…’ Mum had been speaking intermittently today. ‘That I…’8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3gtT9dI6H 維尼

Everyone held their breath, their hearts beating with fear that this would be her last words.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xfODaOYw9 維尼

‘That I’m… an ant…’ Her voice was as light as a feather, but I knew everyone heard it loud and clear.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWnWjlTuU8 維尼

Dead silence filled the room. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8yU9jGlVL 維尼

Unexpectedly, her last words were the clearest words I’d ever heard from her, no matter physically or mentally.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGB4KPZ28k 維尼

Every time I looked at Mum, ineffable emotions flooded my mind. An image of an ant rose from the depths of the waves in my mind, as if she had always been an ant. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwMTyufB5K 維尼

An ant who made meals, did the laundry, cleaned the floor, ironed clothes, wiped the window… Affable and non-invasive on the outside, she was the one thing that destroyed my willpower the most out of all people. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsM3rbuJOi 維尼

Over time, I would walk away every time I saw her.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92QoYXvOuT 維尼

(05)8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdcqqw74ax 維尼

I was at a private kitchen where meetings with clients were often held.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCdzeiqG2g 維尼

My boss liked to be accompanied by the experienced Mr. B or Miss E whenever she had a dinner party to attend to. This time though, she chose me to go with her. Before our meal, she and the client had a casual conversation, followed by a relaxing discussion of the contract details. Their faces beamed with happiness the whole time. When food was served, the client went over the moon and he could hardly contain his joy. Meanwhile, my boss went still. I jumped up from my seat and shrieked without hiding my fear, scrambling to my feet and leapt a few steps back, until they touched the sliding screen.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtOLJ2XZM2 維尼

The client cast a glance at me and gave me a devilish grin, ‘It's absolutely normal to feel sick at your first ant feast.’ Having seen so many hardships, not a single trace of offence was seen on his face. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡBC3T4aZnNw 維尼

I stood still like a stone, trembling in fear. My boss picked up the pieces at once and smiled at me amiably for the very first time. ‘Come and try some. You'll know it's good after you've tried it.’ She waved at me, motioning me to get back to the table. ‘I first found it repulsive, but after building up my courage, it really was a delicacy. I couldn’t help myself afterwards!’ She sounded like Mum did, the ant pretending to be a human.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡhY34JmGDSe 維尼

Everything was spinning around me, and they were grappling with each other in front of my eyes. I was now in an ant nest. In front of me were two human-sized ants, one male and the other female. Both of them scanned my body with their huge eyes, and my heart was about to burst under their glare. Their sweet words pirouetted around my head, summoning a terrifying colony of ants from the depths of my mind. With numerous gnaws and chomps, they devoured my heart and soul, leaving their determination behind. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxBcAVz7q0 維尼

I didn't make a sound as I let the ants in my body idle away unbridledly, start a family, build a society, and develop their culture. They promptly urged me to return to my seat, before I poured termite soup down my throat in one big gulp.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6v9iLjHRgn 維尼

Did it taste good?8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwF2Chu8uq 維尼

Yeah, it did.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3HCdsLksJ 維尼

‘Have you watched When Heaven Burns?’ An aner shoved a spoonful of scrambled eggs with fire ants down his throat.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡheZJnlOimV 維尼

‘Yep. It had bold intentions! Humans eating humans!’ A female ant’s mouth was filled with limbs of black ants.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8YKCBl68D 維尼

‘I asked many friends about this. Most of them gave me the same response you did. But to me, that scene wasn't much of a big deal.’ The aner spoke in an authoritative tone, delivering his great speech in front of his female counterpart. ‘“Humans eating humans” happens everyday. It occurs in different forms and extents in life. It doesn't literally have to be human “flesh” when humans “eat” others. ‘“Eating” up people’s aspirations also counts as one way of “eating up humans”.’ With his mouth now dry, he scooped up a spoonful of yellow ant soup.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPQs2ysv2q 維尼

‘Under dire situations, the three main characters ate their friend who was severely hurt so as to survive.’ He continued on. ‘After being rescued, they were deeply disturbed by their friend’s death, and they were led astray, ultimately ruining their own lives. To put it in simpler words, their good friend lost his life physically, yet mentally he lived on in the hearts of the main characters. On the other hand, the main characters were able to survive, but their hearts were engulfed by guilt, and in the end they couldn't be authentic to their true selves anymore…8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2Wc5tibmn 維尼

There are no absolutes in this world. Every incident is shaped by illusions of different perspectives and angles. Me and you. The minority and the majority. Individuality and universality. Who can truly tell them apart?’8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡOX76tEeMEU 維尼

‘So by conjecturing this, then who ate whom? Who was eaten by whom? It’s so confusing!’ Sliding in a compliment so seamlessly, the female ant was destined to eat her male peer.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡex3IzuNO7p 維尼

The feast was finally over. With the contract signed, me and my boss saw the client off. As the car slowly disappeared from our sight, we wandered in the street. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsEtcULL1H 維尼

‘Don't blame me for not telling you tonight's arrangement earlier.’ She took out a pack of sour sweets from her handbag and gave me three pieces generously. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGso8HHsy9 維尼

‘Mr. B had the feast once. So did Miss E. Now you had one and I already had three.’8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1bmCfcCzf 維尼

I popped one in my mouth. It wasn't sweet at all. The sourness was enough to8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHAbeF2zrU 維尼

melt myself away, along with the ants inside me. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQC6tAvI1F 維尼

‘One day, I'll get used to this.’ She ate another sweet, with the intention of melting herself away. ‘That's how I convince myself.’8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLgCS0MO2g 維尼

‘Once I get used to it, then I don't have to doubt myself anymore. More feasts means more signed contracts, which means there will be more opportunities to come. And I get to live a better life…’ She popped another sweet in her mouth, after which her human skin dissolved, revealing her formic body. ‘Is it really an extravagant thing to have the desire to live a better life?’8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡcczLNfumrz 維尼

I had a second sweet, and it melted my hatred towards her. The last one in my mouth melted my tolerance towards the world.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBTYU6hvpq 維尼

‘I quit,’ I said.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOeHckjtfZ 維尼

(06)8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqnwJBIPfp 維尼

I didn't return home. I sneaked into his place instead. We weren't colleagues anymore, so I could call him ‘my boyfriend’ directly. He was puzzled by my sudden arrival, yet he asked no questions. Between sweet talks, he gave me his snacks and pyjamas, and let me play his video games and sleep in his bed. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlmA1awTVA 維尼

After a round of foreplay and passionate kisses, my boyfriend became extremely excited, totally unaware that I had been zoning out. As he pushed me down on the bed and was now on top of me, my imagination flew further away. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJ5YoQwFCl 維尼

There was a bed in the room, lying on which was a queen ant with a bulging stomach. She was wrenching in so much pain, the pain which was often referred to as ‘the tenth level of pain by pregnant women. Her shrieks echoed across the room as her limbs waved frantically in the air. It seemed that she was about to give birth. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMtPpHkFX7 維尼

‘That’s how much it hurts during labour.’ I replied to her pain with my cold eyes. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡdod7CgP7qV 維尼

‘Haven't your elders ever told you?’8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡh67G8LNRmx 維尼

‘They only told me that this was my destiny! It is inevitable, and I have to accept my fate.’ She looked down at her abdomen filled with her children in the form of eggs, caressing it while thinking about the inevitability of her fate. ‘I was born to bear children. Besides that, I have no other purposes in life.’8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHGr3YjHjR 維尼

‘That's not a must. If you didn't mate with aners in the first place, you wouldn't be pregnant.’ I tore down the lies of her elders and demolished her beliefs stuck with her for her whole life. ‘You can still be a worker ant if you can't be a queen ant.’8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzwykRl3wV 維尼

She wailed and was deeply hurt. My heart swelled with regret; I gave her a glance of the choices she had passed by, but only after the dice had been cast. Her bawls of torment caught up with her weeps, not even before they had died down. The eggs toppled over and came flying out of the tiny hole of her abdomen. A few moments later, the whole bed was filled with larvae, creating a horrifying sight. Yet, her body didn’t seem to give in, and within seconds, the newly-born larvae had already taken over the whole delivery room, the whole hospital, and even the whole world.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhlFxLEaky 維尼

As I was abound with terror, the queen ant's voice trembled into my ear with grievance, ‘Someday thy corse shall receive the same treatment!’8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpiBu2OTH6 維尼

I screeched in fear. My boyfriend thought I was deeply aroused as well and thrusted harder into me...8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5NbFUXhGd 維尼

I blatantly ignored my family's opposition and continued to stay at my boyfriend's. His family wasn’t easy-going either, and they had claimed the house was only large enough for two adults to live. I was buried alive by the weight of it, but it unexpectedly gave me an odd sense of security, just like the familiar routes ants would walk on. No need to choose, no need to think, no need to worry. I just had to follow the instructions given to me, walk straight ahead, and I would naturally arrive at my destination. So relaxing. So easy. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lgyHRxYWu 維尼

I leaned close to the window, staring at the black, dense tops of heads downstairs. I couldn't tell whether they were human heads or ant heads.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIf1tdrxsE 維尼

I had always despised those who lived like ants, laughing at their lack of awareness for freedom, as they remained to be imprisoned in formless cages for the rest of their lives. At this moment, seeing this from another angle, hadn’t I also imprisoned myself in an alternative crate? I confined my actions, so as to prevent myself turning into their kind. I could only spend the rest of my days in my own nest, like the queen ant.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8ZadeDsgu 維尼

From the day I stayed at my boyfriend's place onwards, I never left the apartment, as I was scared to face those ants who drifted along through life. I was scared of getting along with them and to communicate with them. Thoughts were highly infectious diseases which could spread through different media; language, words, images, hints, and ambiance. There was no escape!8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5I39R8K9Ep 維尼

I became quiet suddenly. Something clicked in my head.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVueQKe7No 維尼

My mind had been invaded by ants at an early age, long before I came to my senses. Maybe they were a new breed of ants. Or maybe they hadn't been discovered or named by man. Their exclusivity was abnormally high. That explained why I was so sensitive towards other ant colonies.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqJHQq15kd 維尼

Was I already at death’s door? Could it still be treated?8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAPHHok5HZ 維尼

No! I didn't want to end up like that poor queen ant! 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpOtnIbtGb 維尼

I couldn't jump to conclusions so rashly, or else I would fall into their trap. You’ll be saved as long as you don’t die, I told myself. How would I be saved though? By setting fire to the ants? By fumigating them? By drowning them? By poisoning them?8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGMw4OzKsv 維尼

All of a sudden, I had a eureka moment. I thought of the conversation between my client and my boss. ‘Humans eating humans’ was just an example. Killing one's own kind was the ultimate truth! This phenomenon was apparent in every species, so as to lower competition among themselves. Everyone was most familiar with everything about their opponent, and vice versa. Humans were most capable of annihilating other humans! Ants were most capable of annihilating other ants!8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡodvp1rigVC 維尼

I went to the kitchen and with my eyes ablaze with ferocity, my sights swept across everywhere.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZhUff4eGV 維尼

There was an ant crossing by the wall corner. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2K7MD1HcM 維尼

I put it in my ear. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8anJFGda0 維尼

I longed for the day of the wolf having a winning game to come.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDKua5gK66 維尼

(07)8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡes7l8NnCko 維尼

A black and white picture, which was the deceased’s favourite, was framed and hung up in the funeral hall. Her eyes were as bright as stars, her teeth were as white as snow, her hair was as dark as the night sky, and her skin was as pale as lilies. She was Mum. During those three months at the hospital, she had been waiting for a suitable organ transplant. Unfortunately, it never got to her turn. There were patients who had been waiting for years to receive a transplant, let alone her three-month wait...8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMCGDs74cu 維尼

I bowed at the guests once more at the funeral. Those who gave their regards were all ants. Standing next to me at the family table were all ants. The one lying in the coffin was an ant. There were ants everywhere. I didn’t even have a speck of fear in me, since I was used to ants now, those outside and inside of me.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUcxhMQq1P 維尼

I got along with the ants outside better than those inside me. A long time ago, they had been humans, and they had kept some of the human qualities. They excelled in pretending to be humans, pretending to be reflective, pretending to be free, pretending to be fair. Although their disguise was near perfect, their prominent sense of ‘exclusivity’ couldn't be entirely covered up. Once my cover was blown, I would be in grave danger to the point of no return. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZvlEpWtJg 維尼

I warned myself repeatedly that I must restrain myself. By not exposing them under their masks, I would get through all of this and I wouldn't be attacked. This wasn't an easy task at all. After all, I wasn't one of one of their kind. There was bound to be some difficulty in behaving like them exactly.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KSwaxlSob 維尼

Thankfully, I still have the ants inside me, which consisted of two different colonies. They kept fighting for more resources, declaring war on each other on each part of my body. When there was a sharp pain in a certain part of my body, I would know that they were starting a war again. In the aftermath, no matter who won or lost, the corpses of the dead would rot and decompose as mucus, flowing to other parts of my body along with their strength of will, ultimately becoming a part of me. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcGvHcldcp 維尼

Compared to my past self, the current me resembled more of an ant, no matter cognitively or behaviourally. Yet, I clearly knew that I was a person in an ant’s disguise.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡrm7HAqC2FH 維尼

After the funeral, I left with my sister.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWPbHBJ7Qa 維尼

I didn’t know whether to call my sister a ‘she’ or an ‘it’. In my state of half-human half-ant, which group did she/it belong to? I honestly didn’t know. She/It used to think the same way as I did. She/It had found family disputes troubling as I did. Nonetheless, when Mum was in hospital, her/its attitude did a full one eighty.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MnD7MCLrA 維尼

The words ‘blood is thicker than water’ were always on her/its mouth. I neither agreed nor retorted, simply leaving it hanging in the air.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeV3mkBehW 維尼

We spoke of nothing, yet we started talking because of a tiny ant. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTiRDjvxE9 維尼

‘Watch out!’ My sister blew away the ant on my arm . ‘Was it from the funeral hall?’ she/it asked. She/it said there were several ants near our seats, but she/it wasn’t brave enough to get rid of all of them. Legend says that the ghosts of the dead could cling on creepy crawlies.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52Tw62nUe1 維尼

‘Possibly.’ I let out a faint smile, secretly thrilled by the fact that she/it still recalled my myrmecophobia. Unexpectedly, she/it still remembered who I used to be.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCJ6IH1Xuw 維尼

‘There’s another ant here!’ She/It pulled at the rim of my shirt after we walked a few steps ahead.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbuFzxCCmX 維尼

I stole a glimpse of the ant and flicked it away by my finger. I knew where it came from—my body. Recently, I would find a few ants in my excrement. I guessed that they probably had already moved down ‘there’. Some of them must have found the exit, and explored the outside world with wonder. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAh8axwjKv 維尼

‘Hmm? There’s another one…’ The shock on my sister’s face reminded me of the situation. If we kept talking about this, she/it would soon find out the terrifying truth. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡNy8Ctg4z9X 維尼

‘I’ll go and clean up. You don’t have to wait for me.’ I hurriedly turned away and left.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡccJAgK54Fk 維尼

My sister would never understand me, nor did I plan on forcing her/it to do so.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRa2qoaIG4 維尼

Sometimes, I wondered why servility could reach this level of madness. Was it of an innate nature? Was it only this simple? Of course not. It was because having a clear mind would cause headaches, and the pain came from helplessness. This was caused by witnessing how twisted and distorted the world was, yet there was nothing one could do to change the cruelty of reality, never mind the people who actually cared about our sick, sick world. Day by day, our frames of mind were tortured in the endless abyss of hell, starting from the moment we fell from the sky as a baby to the moment which we bid farewell to life. The helplessness of many slaughtered themselves without spilling any blood. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡe45Wh7lCV9 維尼

Or perhaps, I shouldn’t mind other people’s business and instead let go of them, the people whose minds had already been tarnished by ants and continued to live their lives in servility. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWF4FOCXii 維尼

Like my boyfriend.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡKM0duRYQM6 維尼

Three days ago, he found out where the ants were nested and went bananas, dragging me to visit the doctor. I refused. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0uCo8xppI 維尼

‘You’ll die!’ He loved me. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgIeEOZbct 維尼

‘Humans will eventually die one day. There’s no need to be afraid. I’d rather die with a clear head than to live on without any ambitions!’ I loved him. ‘Let’s choose our own happiness by ourselves!’8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyhzPkfSlv 維尼

He froze. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8al3RXeMBo 維尼

Before we dated, he had mentioned his dreams. He didn’t relish the idea of spending the rest of his life reading people’s faces at all, so he wanted to start a company and become the boss himself. After we started going out, we gave thoughts about marriage. It was at that time that he wanted to properly find a job with high pay, so as to give me a life of security and to earn enough money to sustain a living for the wife and kids, wanting our children to be doctors or lawyers… He gave me a warm embrace, talking passionately about his dreams in his sleep. Such sweet dreams. Ridiculously sweet. Guilt swelled in my heart, as his love for me drove him to change everything about him. He twisted his true self for me, and ended up not even being human. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8b67Tq5eA 維尼

He remained frozen and let me walk past him on my own. I left the ant nest. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5YQINbeRQ 維尼

He had completely turned into an ant. My heart ached for his transformation, yet I still hoped that he would be happily immersed in his sweet dreams. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYyeVLDrKD 維尼

(08)8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡJg0Sjg4G1p 維尼

I sold all my valuables and threw away my ID card. My life was about to go off the rails.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡYe2IonygeD 維尼

Clothes. I wore the same outfit everyday: the same clothes, the same pair of trousers, the same pair of shoes and the same pair of socks, until they became dirty and smelled. I no longer worried about people’s gazes anymore. Food. There was always someone who wasted food. So I ate their leftovers, bringing prosperity to the world in my own way. Accommodation. When the weather was nice outside, I would find everywhere to be a good place to chill. When it wasn’t, I would hide in a random public toilet. Travelling. I relied on my feet, except for when I wanted to enjoy the scenery on the other side of the Victoria Harbour, then for that I had to take the train. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgE9xLLsY4 維尼

Taking the railway train was the most similar thing from my past life. With time and space interweaving, the past me and the current me overlapped with each other.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Og68QmYoK 維尼

Squeezing into the jam-packed train compartment, my heart found an odd sense of calmness that hardly ever came by. Looking at people on their electronic devices made me feel an odd sense of comfort. After all, it was hard to break away from the looks of familiar faces. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxCewAjYFF 維尼

The train went on steadily with faint wobbles as usual, enchanting its tired passengers to plunge deeper into slumber. At the same time, peckish fellows blatantly ignored the announcement on the train, gnawing and wolfing down their food while attracting unfriendly sideways glances. As small as grains of sand, food crumbs quietly dropped themselves onto the floor when nobody was aware and were instantly stepped on and crushed into even smaller pieces. Alas, they met their demise—the cycle of being recklessly stomped on at the next few stations, before ultimately returning to dust. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEJ8s3Rivz 維尼

That was my stop. I half-wittingly took a detour from the crowd, ‘accidentally’ treading on the crumbles where a few ants were crawling on, sending a stream of pleasure down my spine. As the doors closed, I turned my head back and looked into the compartment, my heart burning with desire to savour the sight of the ravaged crumbs and ants I had trampled on. But it was too late, since the train drove on.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfkqjj7rWW 維尼

I couldn't see them after all. Whatever.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡObGeYIPdCb 維尼

Experiencing the whole thing again was already enough. There was no need to bring anything with me, not even a wisp of a cloud. I didn’t cling on to my past self as I parted ways with her once again and disappeared into the crowd.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRZm9mdvda 維尼

After a sneeze, I reached the ground. The difference in the temperature between the cold, chilly compartment and the hot, stuffy ground was immense. I neither wanted to take off my cap and mask, nor did I plan to change into loose T-shirts or hot pants. To maintain my freedom, I ensured that I was covered in garments so tightly that I was impenetrable. Compared to my physical comfort, my mental state was more worthy of my attention and care. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoDMv7BAXz 維尼

Life could be so easy, yet it could also be so hard. ‘I’ was the noblest of them all, letting no one place me on the chopping block. Or ‘I’ was the lowest of the low, letting anyone place me on the chopping block. Using culture as a cutting board, opinions as blades, and materialism as bait, of which people willingly took, they then offered ‘me’ up obediently. They killed without spilling blood.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡijntwewxgK 維尼

In the end, the shell of a body was ultimately full of stench. The routine of daily life, including eating, drinking, defecating and urinating, was chained to materialistic needs. No wonder those mundane ants were reluctant to leave my body. Their extreme gluttony urged them to blaze trails all over my body incessantly, running between my skin and flesh. My skin was so thin that it was almost transparent, under which were tiny black dots squirming in random directions. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHhVwdSUwP 維尼

It was disgusting on the outside, but after realising the truth, I could only sigh out loud for these little creatures. With ‘the world is our oyster’ in their heads, they could carve out a niche. The truth was, it wasn’t their whole world, but rather the body of another minuscule living creature. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡplRkC6gMea 維尼

The universe never brooded over the Earth’s presence, as same as the Earth to the presence of humans. That’s why I wasn’t concerned about their existence anymore.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvJ0aWUPMq 維尼

Go and empty my insides unbridledly.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dDGTSDdmA 維尼

Scraping out all my blood and flesh, the ants burst out of my body. I collapsed, half-lying on the heaps of rubbish in this reeking alleyway. There was only little time left of my life. To die clear-headed was such an elation for me, and I could even say my last words to the ants I interacted with day and night. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8aAcLdoAJ 維尼

I opened my eyes to see the outer world. It was boundless, which wasn’t exactly what the elders had said.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUE0yQ3z0Z 維尼

That was my fate, which wasn’t fixed.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTxWS3KcGt 維尼

You don’t have to be a queen ant who bears children. You don’t have to be a worker ant, who serves a slave for its whole life. You don’t have to be an aner, who is only driven by its instinct. 8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ19cq2jXtU 維尼

I didn’t have to be the good daughter of my mother, the marital partner of my boyfriend, the unreasonable underling of my boss, the cogs and wheels of society, a follower of traditional beliefs.8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CfZEov0eX 維尼

See? I altered my ‘fate’! If I had continued my old ways, I would be at the office at this moment, forcing myself to grin from ear to ear at my boss. How would I ever achieve true happiness?8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUMdbKGF0Y 維尼

Ants! Be free! Follow your heart and go to places you genuinely yearn for!254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9HQ2rraGC

8964 copyright protection250ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtThsGvewb 維尼

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