Chapter 5

Sylvia happily brought the cake to her mouth.

I gently turned my eyes away from her, who seemed to be shining like a star.

Somehow, it was toxic to the eyes.

The reason I made Sylvia my fiancée was that I thought it was the best way to maintain our connection. As a fiancé, it wouldn't be strange to meet frequently, and there would be no problem being alone together. Of course, the guards and maids were always nearby, but they kept a distance where they couldn't hear our conversations.

My initial plan was as follows:

By becoming Sylvia's fiancé, I would be in a position to help her immediately if anything happened. When she eventually met someone she loved, I would thoroughly check that person and then dissolve the engagement. At that time, to ensure that Sylvia wouldn't be blamed, I would claim that I had changed my mind. I would pay compensation to the duke's family and bow to the head of the household to try to dissolve the engagement amicably.

Then, Sylvia would marry the person she loved and live happily ever after.

In short, I intended to be her guardian.

I thought that being born as the next king was for this very purpose. Perhaps she had wished to be born in a peaceful era, and I was born as the crown prince to fulfill that wish. I believed that I was her guardian and the guardian of this country. That was the meaning of my reincarnation.

Therefore, I never intended to really marry Sylvia.

My heart, both in the past and now, belongs to this person, but I knew that this person would never turn to me. I was okay with that. As long as Sylvia could live happily, that was enough for me.

─── ……There was a time when I thought such things.

I want to scratch my head.

I didn't expect that this person, in a peaceful era, would be so laid-back and lack vigilance!

It's scary. She's so vulnerable, it's scary. I'm afraid that if I take my eyes off her, she might fall for some no-good man. It's also scary that she might easily say, "Being a queen is fine too." I wish she would stop trying to cut into my rationality.

To be honest, I have considered whether it might be better for me to become her husband. Since Sylvia is so relaxed, I thought I might be better than some incompetent man.

I have a younger brother, and I could designate his child as the successor. I could provide her with the life she desires, where she can "lie around and read books." We could say that the queen is physically weak to the public.

However, even while thinking this, I can't take the step because a king's divorce is much more difficult than a crown prince's engagement dissolution.

One day, Sylvia might meet someone she truly loves. She might encounter someone she considers her destiny, just like I did in the past. At that time, the position of queen would become an overly strong fetter.

※

In the past, I was, to put it bluntly, a scoundrel.

Well, I wasn't born a scoundrel. My upbringing also influenced me. I want to think that.

She probably didn't know, but I was the 23rd prince.

Unlike now, the royal palace at the time had an absurdly large harem, filled with concubines gathered from all over the country. There were dozens of children, and being the king's child didn't feel special at all. Assassinations as a result of power struggles were commonplace.

When I was a child, I was sent to the church to avoid assassination.

The people at the church were all kind to me, but I knew what lay beneath their smiles. I knew because knowing was the condition for activating the power of the saint.

From an outsider's perspective, it was a ridiculous farce.

They all desired my love, but I knew that what they truly wanted was my life.

I let my hair grow long.

The long, unruly hair was quite bothersome, but my mark appeared on the back of my neck, so there was no other way. I never cut my hair short throughout my life.

※

Eventually, suspicious deaths that seemed to be assassinations began to occur within the church, and I was sent to the home of a noble who was close to the church. From there, I moved around various places. I changed my name and identity according to the orders of those with more power than me, infiltrating various places. I did countless dirty jobs and even got my hands dirty with assassinations.

It's a laughable story.

It started with the pretext of escaping assassination, but before I knew it, I had become a proper assassin.

However, I didn't particularly resist.

There was the fear of being killed if I resisted, but more than that, I had become indifferent to everything. The country was in chaos, both internally and externally. What was the point of holding ideals in such a world? If I was going to die anyway, it was better to drown in pleasure than to struggle and suffer. … Hey, beautiful lady, would you like to spend some time with me until the world ends, for a wonderful night?

※

The last target I was sent to assassinate was a noble of commoner origin.

I was delighted when I received this assignment because there was no set deadline for assassinating the noble.

The noble was a hero of the battlefield and was considered the last stronghold guarding the border. The higher-ups were not united. There were voices saying it was a waste to let him die while the war was still ongoing.

I was appointed as his deputy to be able to kill the overachieving commoner woman at any time.

So, from the day of my assignment, I abandoned my duties and indulged in play.

Since there was no deadline, it was ridiculous to start playing the role of a deputy right away. Besides, the noble, if not a complete fool, would have already figured out why I was there. If I approached her carelessly, I would be the one killed.

I went to a tavern in broad daylight, approached the most beautiful woman there, and holed up in her room. I was a good-looking scoundrel, so I had never failed with such an approach. I became a live-in guest at her house and quickly started a freeloading lifestyle. I planned to live by moving from one woman's room to another until the deadline for the job was set.

However, my plan fell apart after a week.

The noble burst into the room where I was freeloaded.

In broad daylight, while I was having a good time with her, the noble glared at me with a vein popping on her forehead.

"You rutting red-haired dog."

That was the noble's first words to me.

─── And thus, my days of hell began.

The noble was merciless.

Although I was appointed as a deputy, I was treated like a new recruit. If I skipped training, I was beaten down. If I complained, I was scolded. If I tried to run away, I was trampled. The noble had no mercy or compassion, truly a fitting devilish superior.

I once tried to seduce her to see if I could bring her down, but I was laughed at. The way she treated me with such disdain, whispering sweet words, was unique to her and never happened again.

I cursed my bad luck. I thought about running away every day.

Day after day ─── …… When did it change?

I was the worst person.

A good-for-nothing, hopeless scoundrel.

I accepted that and didn't resist. Everything was indifferent to me. I had long given up on myself.

But the noble was different.

The noble didn't give up on me. She didn't give up on keeping me alive. For that, she thoroughly trained me. She pushed me to the limit to increase my chances of survival on the battlefield, even if it was just a little.

It's unbelievable. What a foolish person. I'm here to kill you. You must know that. It would be more convenient for you if I died in battle.

But the noble ─── ……, she……

Eventually, I understood. I couldn't help but understand. To her, it didn't matter whether I was an assassin or anything else. Life is life. There is no reason for wanting to keep someone alive. She would probably do the same for anyone, not just me.

I knew. To her, I was not special.

But she alone didn't give up on me.

Even when I had long given up on myself, she waited for me. She scolded and berated me, but she never left me. She believed that I had the strength to stand up, even though I had forgotten it long ago.

I am a scoundrel. I have done countless dirty jobs.

─── But at least, I want to be a man worthy of the title of your deputy.