Chapter 88

4/6

After Dida and Ryle left, I returned to my usual work. However, I couldn't get the conversation out of my head.

"..."

As a result, I made a beautiful mistake on the documents.

Being distracted, I suppose, refers to a state like this... such aimless thoughts floated through my mind.

I put down the pen and stretched my body, hearing the cracking sounds that shouldn't befit a lady.

What came to mind was the conversation just now.

...There is no right answer. I've thought this many times since taking on the role of acting lord.

But, I've hit that wall again.

It's easy to dismiss it as just "if"..."what if" talk.

I could deceive myself by saying that I should have made up my mind at that moment.

But, surely... Dida wouldn't be satisfied. And the gloss I've painted over to deceive myself would surely peel off at the crucial moment.

When that time really comes... I doubt I could even deceive myself. I can almost picture myself losing my composure in a most ungraceful manner.

I've been entrusted with people's fates... their lives, many times before.

An incompetent lord kills the people.

...But this time, it's on a different level.

Lives are directly at stake, and I will bear the responsibility.

I will bear the lives of the people more than ever before.

...Even the me from my past life, let alone the me of this life, feels overwhelmed by the weight and magnitude of this responsibility.

If only no one had to get hurt.

...That's just a facade. I'm just afraid of giving orders.

If this were really a game world...

It might have been a world where everyone was kind.

No one would get hurt, and the ugly parts would be wrapped in a sugar-coated story, even being told as if they were beautiful tales.

No, even in the game... there was a villain named Iris who took on all the ugly parts. Perhaps there is no world where everyone is kind.

In any case, this world is real.

Otherwise, I wouldn't be confronted with such vivid realities.

The dirty struggles of the nobles, where various interests intersect.

Scenes that make you frown due to the wealth gap, which are not mentioned in stories.

Each of these scenes evokes various emotions.

That's why I'm still agonizing over it.

...I'll ask Tanya to bring me something to drink. I can't work in this state.

Giving up on thinking, I was about to call Tanya.

"..."

At that moment, the stack of documents collapsed. Several of them floated in the air.

Oh, I did it again...

The documents that I had carefully sorted got mixed up. Honestly, the thought of the effort and time it would take to sort them out again is disheartening.

"...Tanya"

"Yes, here I am."

"Sorry, but I'm going to the salon. Could you ask them to prepare some tea? And could you also help me sort out these documents?"

"Of course."

In the end, I abandoned everything and went on a break.