Chapter 89

5/6

In the salon, Iris sat alone, elegantly sipping her tea.

Usually, the beautiful furnishings and flowers would lift her spirits, but today, they were absent.

"Hmm..."

"Oh, Iris. What's wrong? Why such a gloomy face?"

A bright and gentle voice accompanied her mother's appearance.

"Mother..."

"The lady over there, I'd like the same as Iris."

With that, Mother sat down across from me.

"Taking a break?"

"...Yes. I'm a bit tired."

"Pushing yourself too hard isn't good. You really are just like Father."

Mother chuckled, and her smile was as beautiful as ever.

The way she brought the teacup to her lips was graceful, and I couldn't help but be captivated by her beauty, even though she is my mother.

"Are you really just tired? It seems like you're troubled by something."

I froze at Mother's words.

Am I that transparent?

"...Iris. Let's go outside for a bit. Staying cooped up inside will only make you think negatively."

With that, Mother grabbed my hand and started walking briskly.

"Huh? Huh?"

Mother, who looked delicate, had surprising strength, and I was dragged along helplessly.

Looking back, I saw the maid standing there, flustered.

...After being dragged by Mother for a few minutes.

I was stuffed into a carriage and jolted around for about ten minutes.

Then, I was made to climb a long staircase.

I found myself atop a tower, high enough to overlook the capital.

"...Beautiful..."

I couldn't help but murmur, it was so stunning.

The blue sky seemed closer than usual, and the sunlight enveloped everything gently.

Bathed in this light, the capital looked more beautiful than ever.

"Yes, it's beautiful. Iris."

"Mother, where are we...?"

"This used to be a lookout tower for the capital's security. It's still under military jurisdiction, I believe."

"...We were allowed in here?"

After all, it's a military facility. I was surprised that we, mere civilians, were allowed in.

"Using Father's name makes it easy."

I was awed by Mother's nonchalant response.

"...Since I was a child, whenever something happened, I would come here. So, I'm familiar with the guards."

Mother smiled.

"...What did you used to be troubled by, Mother?"

"Hmm... For example, when I had a fight with Father, or when I lost to him in martial arts practice."

Mother spoke with a smile.

"Also, when my dream was shattered, I would come here."

"Mother's dream...? What was it...?"

I couldn't imagine Mother's dream.

She was celebrated as the epitome of grace in society, seemingly possessing everything.

I couldn't fathom what dream she had given up.

"In the past, I wanted to be a soldier."

I was taken aback by this unexpected answer.

"...A soldier?"

"Yes. ...I learned martial arts from a young age. That's because my mother was killed by bandits."

I was shocked by this unknown fact.

"Father's grief was immense. Despite his many victories and his wish for the country's peace, he never imagined that he couldn't protect his own wife, and that she would be taken by the very people he had protected."

It hurt to think about it.

A seasoned hero... a savior on the battlefield.

To think that Grandfather couldn't protect Grandmother and that she was taken by the very people he had protected.

"Me too... After Mother passed away, I started learning martial arts. Father didn't object because of what happened to Mother. ...I didn't learn any manners or the things that noble children usually learn; I just wanted to be like a boy who aspired to be a soldier."

I was surprised again by this unexpected revelation.

How many times had I been surprised by Mother's words today...?

After all, it's Mother...

Mother, who is called the epitome of a noblewoman, couldn't have learned manners as a child.

"...Thanks to Father's teaching, or perhaps because I had talent, I never lost to anyone, even to Father's older disciples. I think the only person I ever lost to was Father."

Mother laughed, but I couldn't join in.

"...Eventually, I wanted to become a soldier. I wanted to protect the country like Father."

"...But, the people who took Grandmother's life were also citizens of this country. Why...?"

"Yes... You're right. I hated the bandits who killed Mother, and I couldn't understand why Father still wanted to protect the people after losing Mother. Was it out of hatred, or simply to protect myself? Honestly, I couldn't even remember why I started learning martial arts."

Mother's smile had taken on a shadow.

Bathed in the sunlight, it seemed fragile.

"That's why... When Father caught the bandits, I felt empty. I couldn't see the purpose of my martial arts anymore. I thought a lot here. Why did I learn martial arts? After much contemplation, thanks to this view, I was able to sort out my thoughts."

"Look," Mother pointed to the scene below.

Many people. And beautiful streets.

"Each building is filled with people... Because they are alive, they can go about their daily lives, cry, and laugh. How beautiful and precious it all is... That's what I thought."

"Mother..."

"Indeed, there are those who have fallen to bandits. But there are many more helpless people. And to prevent sudden tragedies like what happened to my family. To ensure that this scene continues forever. I wanted to protect it, even if it meant staining my hands with blood."

Her resolve struck me deeply.

"...To have such resolve at such a young age..."

"Perhaps it was because I lost someone important. I strongly felt that I didn't want to lose anyone else."

"Mother..."

"But, reality didn't go as planned. The military was off-limits to women. The words of the men I defeated in matches shattered my dream completely."

I felt a pang of anger at those men, even though it was in the past.

If I felt this way, I can only imagine how Mother felt at the time.

"Did you never think about becoming a knight?"

Knighthood, while rare, was open to women.

It was for the protection of the royal family.

"I didn't learn martial arts to protect the royal family. Besides, female knights are more for show."

I nodded in agreement with Mother's words.

Female knights, while required to meet certain martial standards, rarely saw action. They were almost never placed in combat roles due to their gender.

"...I came here again. But this time, I was at a loss. The goal I had found had once again faded away."

The revenge I sought had disappeared, and the dream I found in its place had also vanished.

I reflected on my earlier thoughts about Mother's past, where I had assumed she had everything.

"At that time, I met your father here."

"Father...?"

"Yes. At the time, Father's father was the Chancellor. After an inspection, Father often came here."

...I wondered if the security here was really that good.

Well, at least they weren't unknown...

"Father was looking at the view, seemingly uninterested in me, who was crying. I felt like an intruder in his favorite place and, to my embarrassment, lashed out at him."

Mother's cheeks turned red as she spoke, and I felt like I was hearing the beginning of their relationship, which made me uncomfortable.

"But, Father scolded me."

"Scolded you...?"

"Yes. 'If you're going to give up, then you were never that great to begin with.'"

I was surprised that Father would say such harsh words to a crying girl.

I found it odd that Mother was recounting this with a smile.

"'Why did you hone your martial skills?' He asked. 'To gain glory in the military, or to protect the people? If it's the former, then cry all you want. If it's the latter, why are you crying?'"

"...If it's the latter, why are you crying...?"

"Yes. Father was trying to say, 'Has your means become your goal?'"

I nodded in understanding.

If Mother's dream was to join the military and gain glory, then it was indeed shattered.

But if it was to protect the people...

"'If the goal is to protect, then one method failing doesn't mean the end. There are many ways to support people's lives. I aim to achieve this through literature, not martial arts. ...Though I still fall short of my father.' That's what he said. I was struck by his words... It felt like I had woken up. After that, I met Father at a formal meeting. I respected and fell in love with him because we shared the same ideals. And when I married Father... I stepped onto a different battlefield."

"A different battlefield?"

"Yes. The social scene, a completely different battlefield."

Mother's smile was proud and radiant, and I couldn't help but smile too.

Indeed, it is a battlefield.

"...Mother, thank you for bringing me here today. Could we stay a bit longer and enjoy the view?"

"Of course."